Chapter 30
Riley called into work, realizing after the fact that it probably would've been best for her to go. She needed a distraction, but the brunette never wanted to be alone more than she did right now. She sat in the far back booth, like she did when she was hungover, hoping to hide away from the world. Her brown, swollen eyes were covered by sunglasses and she only wished that she was drinking, maybe that would help. Riley knew she had to quit thinking about him, if she was going to get over him. Which, seemed impossible. The weather outside was fitting for the mood she was in, rainy and gloomy. Her backpack was unzipped slightly revealing his hoodie that he gave her. It still smelt like him. "Congratulations universe, I fell for a guy and you pull this stunt. You win." She whispered and took a drink of her water. "I've got to move on." She stared out the window after removing her sunglasses and watched rain drops race down the glass, a game she invented when she was a little girl.
"Hey." She kept staring out the window.
"Hey Josh." Her uncle slid into the booth and glanced at her.
"I saw you weren't at work." Riley gazed at him and then instantly out the window, hoping to hide her eyes.
"Is there a question?"
"I'm worried about you Riley." She chuckled and held her breath hoping to stop the tears.
"I'm guessing there was never a question."
"Riley, Lucas is hurting just as much as you are." Her arms crossed and she rubbed the goosebumps off of her arms. Funny right, how a name can do that to her. "Talk to him and-"
"We've talked."
"Stop!" He snapped and the brunette stared at him, as intently as she was at the window. It almost frightened him. "Listen, for once in your damn life, just listen. No witty remarks or sarcastic jokes." Her hands were up in surrender. "You aren't the only one hurting! He has loved you for a long time Riley." Her stare softened. "He never told you, for reasons that are beyond my understanding, but he had his reasons. My guess is when we were mudding, I saw the way he looked at you then, but I don't know for sure. You'll have to talk to him about that, i'm not saying run back to him. All i'm saying is if you love him, like you say you do then take his feelings into account also."
Her head was slowly nodding. "Am I allowed to speak now?"
"Yeah."
"You don't think i'm taking into account how he's feeling? Honestly? You think that?" Josh didn't reply. "That's all I can think about, his eyes that turned red from the tears that he openly shed. His shaking hands and the look on his face-" She stopped to cry and took a few short breaths to hinder her feelings, but when that didn't work she wiped the tears away. "The look on his face, and in his eyes when I told him we were done, that breaks my heart more than anything. All of those things flash into my mind, like its been burned permanently, whenever i'm sleeping, or even sitting here by myself, because I love him."
"Than why are you doing this?"
Riley exhaled and stared at the table. "I spent a year in a relationship that was toxic for me, and I finally got out. This is probably the first sign of a toxic situation, and i'm not sticking around to find out."
"Key word is probably." His hands patted the table as he slid out, Josh started to walk away when she began to mumble.
"I said probably with Charlie too."
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Luke, where are you?
Sittin' on my porch.
She's at the diner.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Josh hung up the phone and watched the front door to make sure she didn't leave. It started to lightly sprinkle.
Hey baby.
Hey, did you find her?
Yeah, she's at the diner.
How was she?
Pretty terrible. I don't know who I feel more sorry for.
Riley of course, Lucas was the one who kissed someone else.
Hey! Weren't you the one who told me to call him when I found her?
Yes, they belong together.
At least I understand why she's doing this now.
Wonderful. Enlighten me.
She thinks that was probably the first sign of a toxic relationship.
Probably is the key word.
See, that's what I said!
And?
She said 'that's what I said with Charlie'.
Oh. Wow, that's deep.
Yeah, that one did me in. The problem with that logic though, is that they are exact opposites. Lucas protected Riley.
Yeah, until he didn't.
That's harsh.
You were thinking it. Josh saw Lucas' truck park and him run inside.
He's here.
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Lucas entered the diner and peruzzed with his eyes hoping to find her quickly. There she was in the back booth, staring out the window. He chuckled and thought, 'she's probably playing her little game, how can she look this beautiful?' Especially because she was trying to look worse, to hurt him. The running back licked his lips and sauntered towards the back booth. "Hey."
"Hi." She mumbled.
"Hi." Riley smirked and after the last race finished between the 2 rain drops she faced him. "Can I sit?"
"At your own risk." He chuckled, remembering when they were on the boat. "What can I do for you?" He didn't answer, his green eyes gazed upon her beauty. "I know Josh called you."
"How did you know that?"
"We can call it intuition, but truth, I saw him in his truck on the phone and took a wild guess when I saw you walk in." He chuckled. "Between you and Josh i'm not getting that peace and quiet I was hoping for."
"If you really wanted peace and quiet you'd take a really long shower. If you were angry you'd have music on, but since you're sad you wouldn't risk listening to the radio in case an emotional song came on." She laid her chin in her palm. "So what are you really doing here? Were you wanting to see me?" He was trying to lighten up the mood, and bring things back to normal.
"Am I that transparent? I need you, oh baby, oh baby!" Her eyes rolled.
"What are you doing here then?" Riley closed her eyes and licked her lips.
"I don't want to go home and face my parents." Her dainty finger gently wiped a tear away. "I don't want to explain to them what's going on, and I really don't want to hear the question 'how are you' anymore." Her knees tucked in and she laid her cheek on them.
"I know that feeling. I've never seen my parents so disappointed."
"You told 'em?"
"Yeah. Is that bad?"
"No, not bad. I just am doing the exact opposite, not telling my parents anything, on the slight chance that we-" She stopped herself and closed her eyes. That's what she gets for rambling.
"That we what?" Riley turned to look back at the window when Lucas slid beside her in the torn booth. "That we what beautiful?" That's all he needed for his confidence to boost.
"Nothing Lucas." He inched closer.
"You said there's a slight chance and you don't want to tell your parents what's going on, so it's about me. Slight chance that we get back together?" Riley turned around and realized how close he was, the smell of his cologne brought her into a trance, while he caressed her face. "Is that what you were going to say?"The couple touched foreheads and he kissed her nose, putting the butterflies on high alert.
"No." She whispered.
"You're an awful liar." Their lips touched for just a second. They stared into eachother's eyes and kissed again, more passionately after exhaling. "I love you." He whispered, her arms wrapped around his neck, she didn't want to stop and they kissed again. "I love you Riley." Her body tingled and she pulled away with her eyes closed.
"I'm sorry I can't do this." He tried to touch her lips again. "Lucas, please don't." He stopped and stared at her.
"What are you scared of?"
Her jaw clenched. "What were you scared of?" His brows furrowing made his forehead crease, and it made him even more attractive.
"I'm sorry? I don't really know what you're talking about."
"When did you know you were in love with me?" He looked towards the table. "You were obviously scared of telling me. Pot callin' the kettle black let's hear it, when did you know you were in love with me?"
"I can't remember the exact time." She scoffed and tried to climb out of the booth. "Where are you going?"
"If we aren't going to be honest with each other than what's the point of talking?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Just, sit down. Please." After a heavy exhale she sat back down. "I was going to tell you the first night we were dating, but I didn't want to freak you out." She kept looking at him, waiting for him to continue. "Riley, I was scared of losing you that's what I was scared of."
"When did you know? Don't judge me for being scared if you were scared to tell me you loved me."
"The first time we danced together, out at the pit.
"And you didn't tell me because?"
He scoffed. "We weren't even dating, At that point, I had no idea if we were ever going to. And to be honest, what would you have done if I told you?" Riley's brown eyes traced the ceiling. "You would've freaked out and left."
"How do you know that?" She snapped.
"Because I know you. Whatever is freaking you out now, scares you almost as much as your feelings." The cheerleader hated that he was right. "Now, it's your turn. What are you afraid of? I will gladly stop drinking, I won't go to anymore parties, i'll cut Missy out of my life, i'll transfer classes." He cupped her face and manuevered her to look at him. "I will do anything to get you back baby." Her chin was trembling again and Lucas wiped a tear away.
"When I was with Charlie it was about 4 months before he started showing signs of being abusive, and everytime he showed signs of a toxic relationship I said 'it's probably nothing', I dug myself deeper into a hole that was extremely hard to get out of. You kissing her-"
"Her kissing me."
"Y'all kissing, was a sign to me Lucas."
"You think our relationship was toxic?" She closed her eyes. "Riley, you and I both know what we had was once in a lifetime. What we have."
"I just, I don't know what is going to happen in the future but I don't trust you Lucas. How can I? How would you feel if I kissed someone else? If I fell down and Chase knelt beside me and we kissed for-"
"Stop!" He exclaimed. His knuckles were white and his breathing was heavy. There were a few minutes of silence, to help him calm down. "Riley, I would be furious, devastated, heart broken. But, none of that, none of those feelings would pull me away from you." His jaw was clenched. "We've been through different experiences, I understand that but, even if you kissed him or more happened, I would find a way to forgive you and be with you, after I kicked the guys ass of course." It really started to pour outside. Riley couldn't believe what she was hearing,
"I just want to cry." Her head laid on his shoulder and he stroked her hair. "Can you take me home please? Darby dropped me off, I was planning on walking."
"Anything for you."
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