Chapter 14: Harry Potter Meets Himself, and he is Famous!
It was with a heavy robe that Harry was carried to the Hogwarts morgue. Professor Mcgonagall placed him in front of a pair of bodies that were shaped like people.
"Student Potter, do you recognize these people?" Mcgonagall demanded, knowing that if he did not, they would be unable to determine who those people were.
"I might," Harry said, closing his eyes as smelly dead-people noise hit his face. "Could I use a mirror?"
Mcgonagall magicked a mirror at Harry, who used his previously proven Quidditch skills to look at it with his hands. First he stared at his eyes and then at everything but his eyes.
"Has this woman stolen my eyes?" Harry asked politely.
"No Harry, that would require more powerful magic than any random woman could possess."
"This is no random woman professor, this woman has the exact same eyes as me, and I think this man might be some future version of me with his eyes swapped."
"Time travel is impossible Harry, even with magic," Mcgonagall said. "No, it is as I feared. Harry, these are your parents."
"What?" Harry shouted, eating the mirror in horror. "But that would mean-"
"Yes Harry, it means that your parents are dead."
Harry was shocked. For all his life he wondered what had happened to his parents, and now, with the answer before him he was unable to accept it. All the magic in the world couldn't bring his parents back to life…or could it?
"No it can't," Mcgonagall said.
So Harry ran away from his mean, smart professor and went to bed as it was late and bed is a thing that students go to when it is late.
That night Harry had many dreams. Some were of his parents being dead, while others were of his parents being not dead. Some also had his parents be alive, and that last kind of dream was so wonderful that it made Harry feel like how he would feel if he was given the option to kiss a cute girl at the time in the future that he no longer feels like girls are gross, but unfortunately he's already dating another cute girl, but just when he thinks he'll either have to make his girlfriend mad at him or miss out on kissing a cute girl, they both tell him that they're gay and would rather make out in front of him. He felt a lot like that, and if asked he would tell Ron that in the morning. However, Ron never asked and so Harry never got to explain how the dreams where his parents were alive made him feel. This is because Ron is poor.
The next morning, Harry was coming down for breakfast when he ran into a new student.
"Oh hello, Harry Potter," the student who was a Hufflepuff said, shaking Harry.
"Hello, I don't believe we've met, Harry Potter," Harry said, being shook.
"I've met Harry Potter," the student said.
"Yes, just now."
"No, I met him before, my older brother is Harry Potter, see?" the student said, pointing at a fifth year who did appear to be the student's brother.
"He's not Harry Potter," Harry said, affronted, "I'm Harry Potter!"
"Oh you too? Are parents named us both after Harry Potter because of how great he is. It's a very common name now."
"My parents are dead!"
"Since when?" The student, whose full name was Harry Potter Hufflepuff asked in surprise and shock.
"Since yesterday!"
"Oh, did your parents die to make you more like Harry Potter? Lots of parents do that nowadays, it's a very common way to become famous. Our parents have been dead for 12 years!"
"I…don't know. Maybe they did?" Harry said, confused. He left Harry Potter and his brother Harry Potter and found Ron.
"Oi Harry, those dreams you had last night were wild!"
"Ron, I don't know if I'm Harry Potter anymore. I thought I was, but there's other Harry Potters and they seem much more like me than I, their parents have been dead much longer!"
Ron was unsure how to respond to this. On the one hand, Harry not being Harry Potter seemed completely absurd and flew in the face of everything he believed in. On the other hand, those other Harry Potters did seem much more like Harry than Harry did. If only he had more money, he could figure this dilemma out.
Unfortunately for both Harry and Ron, someone they knew did have more money and he was using it to do evil things.
"Neville!" Draco Malfoy demanded, hopping on Neville's back like a spider filled with car springs.
"Ah! Yes Mr. Malfoy?" Neville said, terrified of Malfoy ever since he caused him to go flying out of a tower window.
"Please, that's my mother. Call me Master Malfoy!"
"Yes Draco," Neville said in pure-blooded terror.
"Here is some money," Draco said, handing Neville a hand full of money. "I want you to tell Harry that he is not Harry Potter and someone else is! Then, when he is at his most vulnerable, laugh at his glasses!"
"No Draco! I call the line at that, you can make me do all kinds of mean things, but I won't do that!"
"You have no choice!" Draco said in gleeful evil, "I have bribed you and now you must do what I demand or I can kill you!"
"There's no way that's legal," Hermione said, flaunting her teeth.
"It just is! My father has bribed the Ministery of Magic into making that a law. Check your copy of Bribery, How Laws are Made!"
Hermione did and realized that it was a law, thanks to an older law stating that the only way for new laws to come into place was for someone to bribe the Ministry. She was sad that there was nothing she could do, and conceded this major victory to Malfoy who was as evil and powerful as he had ever been before.
So Neville went to Harry and told him that he was not Harry Potter.
"I knew it!" Draco said, jumping out of Neville and pointing at Harry. "All my suspicions have been proven!"
However, Neville was fat and weak, and so he could not bring himself to laugh at even a fake Harry Potter. So Malfoy killed him, in accordance with the law.
"Malfoy!" Harry shouted in anger-fury. "I may not be Harry Potter, but I have had enough of you following the spirit of the law, and not the letter of the law!"
"Oh? And what will you do about it, fake Harry Potter?" Malfoy challortled.
"I have to kill fast and curses too slow!" Harry shouted, lunging forward and skewering Malfoy's eye on his wand. Malfoy shrieked much like how a fish would, if one took a hook and used a wand to transfigure the hook into another wand, then used the original wand to create a portkey to call in Professor Mcgonagall who would then transfigure that fish into a person, so the original person could then pick up the transfigured wand and stab it into the eye of the transfigured person.
When Harry thought over how Malfoy must feel with a wand in his eye, he felt bad. He knew that Malfoy would never do anything so awful, and even if he did, he had enough money to not get in trouble for it. Harry was not the same as Malfoy, so he decided to fix things.
"Oculus Reparo!" Harry said, repairing Malfoy's eye. With a twirl of his wand, he removed it and put it back in his pocket.
"Well-played Harry Potter!" Malfoy said angrily. "But don't let it get to your head!"
"You called me Harry Potter!" Harry said. "I am really Harry Potter!"
"NOOOOO!" Malfoy said, running out of Neville's skin to his father, who punished him for failing in his evil plan.
"You're the best Harry!" Dean said, kissing Harry on the cheeks in an Irish way. Seamus was jealous, but knew better than to mess with even a fake Harry Potter, and this one appeared to be the real deal.
Before Harry could get too busy being embarrassed by the attention being lavished upon him, the Weasley twins showed up.
"Harry, we need your help!"
Harry recoiled from the freaky maroon-haired twins.
"Back off guys," Ron said. "Ever since that whole incident with Arthur Weasley and his cousin Dudley, Harry's been real skittish around you Weasley's. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't like your family cause of your dad."
The twins nodded in acknowledgement, but stayed where they were. "Harry, we respect your fear, but you need to help us!"
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Watch!" Fred said, pulling out a lollipop that looked like a glass ball filled with a thick murky liquid. He gave the ball pop to Hannah Abbott who used her nose to smell it and then eat it.
Immediately she started sparkling, her Hufflepuff shaped skin twinkling like a glitter full of Snape's favorite potions. When the light could be no more blinding, it became more blinding and then her skin exploded, leaving behind a vampire!
"Oh no!" Hermione said.
"Yes, there are vampires all over the school…and Voldemort is inside six of them!"