Hello again.

WASSAAAAAAAAAP!

Anyway, so I'm shooting for 3000+ words today so enjoy.

The rune enchantment disappeared as Natsu began to walk to the room where he left Minerva in.

Natsu saw her curled up on the floor chatting to herself in insanity. She was covered with a dark aura, surrounded by a dark version of himself and numerous other character, which their details could not be made out. Her eyes were wide and she was shivering in fear. He walked over to her and touched her chin.

She didn't even notice him until he was staring into her eyes yet again.

"The bad man's back. I have to do his bidding. He's going to hurt me. I'm sorry Master. I don't want the bad man. I don't want punishment. I'll do as you please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please make it go away."

Natsu sighed, I over did it, didn't I?

He snapped his fingers and the illusion slipped away from her and fell into Natsu. She gasped for fresh air, since she was breathing in thick and foggy air for about two hours.

"Will you follow my orders and will you cooperate to what I said earlier." Natsu said.

"Y-yes Master. I will do your bidding." Minerva stuttered.

"So you will understand what happens when you defy me."

"U-understood M-master…"

"Go."

She hesitated and stood still, thinking it was still a trick.

"Go!" Natsu was impatient and was on the verge of torturing her.

She ran out, silently crying in fear of her life.

Once she was gone, Natsu walked out of what was left of the guild and took out a star-shaped lacrima.

It had eight spikes, pointing out in different directions and began to spin around. It glowed white as it grew bigger and engulfed Natsu.

Natsu blinked and found himself in his base, where he kept all his money, weapons, equipment, and more.

And it was filled with a bunch of technology.

It looked high-tech and futuristic, but not in the cliché way. Everything was too detailed to describe.

Natsu walked into his bedroom, or in his words 'man cave', and hung his coat, through his hat off somewhere and took off all his gear.

He plopped on to his couch and cracked his neck and let out a moan of pleasure.

The past few weeks were rough. Taking on Acnologia to obtain magic and getting revenge on him for almost killing him on Tenrou Arc (and he won and killed him, tough battle though), picking up/going on his daily SSS-Class quests (getting some jobs from S-Class mercenary guilds/Tartaros), killing a few people for some loose change, meeting with Zeref at the Alvarez Empire. Heading to Gracia for a contract to kill the King, but he decided that he was too tired after that, so he decided to lay low with some SS-Class missions.

He needed a break.

But first, he needed to figure out how to steal Lumen Histoire. That was going to be tough.

"So, you're going to try and steal my body." Mavis said.

"GWAH, SHIT!" Natsu yelled in surprise, and jumped up and hit the ceiling, then fell down on the couch which tipped over and crashed into the ground.

Natsu was lying down on the floor in pain and sat up and began rubbing his bump. Mavis looked down on him unamused.

"You should warn me before you do that," Natsu whined, "this room is made of the hardest and densest metal in Earthland ya know."

"I overheard your conversation with the demons," Mavis said, "and you're going to steal my body for cash so that millions of people will die."

Natsu stood up and popped his back, "Pretty much."

"So you don't care that people will die."

"Yup."

"…"

Natsu looked at her and confusion. "Don't look all that surprised. I know you've been following me around for all of my missions. You see me killing people without blinking, ya think I give a crap for mass murder?"

"What happened?"

Now Natsu was even more confused. "Whadda ya mean, 'What happened?'"

"What happened to you?"

"Well, I was able to get new dragonslayer magic, other magic, some money…" Natsu trailed off.

"Take this seriously! What happened to you that made you become this way?"

Natsu snorted, "Fairy Tail."

Mavis yelled, "NO! No, even when you ran away from Fairy Tail, you weren't a murderer, you still cared for your nakama! Also, we found proof that someone put something in the drinks! Something happened to you where you became emotionless and cold and harsh!"

"But it was the truth…" Natsu whined.

Mavis walked toward Natsu and leaned in. "What. Was. It?"

He snorted, "None of your business."

"Well I guess I'll make sure to tell everyone that your coming to steal it."

"Fine with me, as long as you don't give away my name. Oh, tell them to train for it, I wanna see them think that they're strong enough to defeat me and mercilessly be taken down, losing all hope." Natsu said in daydream.

"They will find out." Mavis said walking away.

"Whatever." Natsu said.

"Oh yeah, Natsu?"

"Yeah?" Natsu said as he lifted his couch up.

"Why do you still have your Fairy Tail mark?"

Natsu said it as it was the easiest thing in the world, "Tenrou Island? Duh."

(For the people who don't understand, Tenrou Island gives protection and a magic boost to everyone who has the Fairy Tail mark.)

"Really? Knowing you, you would go to Tenrou Island and steal it's magic."

"Too lazy."

"You have teleportation magic."

"Not that strong."

"You have enough magic power to destroy Ishgar in one blow."

"Meh."

Mavis smirked and looked up and began to fade away for her exit. "Seems a part of you is still loyal to Fairy Tail."

Natsu turned swiftly to Mavis and turned dark. "NO I DON'T! I HATE THEM AND THEIR GUTS!"

"Whatever." And with that, she was gone.

Natsu just stood there in shock. Was he still loyal to Fairy Tail?

He shook his head and sighed. "I really need some downtime."

He, again, plopped on his couch and fell asleep.

A few days have passed since Lucy finally trained for the last time using the enchantments and the metal supports and finally began to try and walk normally.

Everyone started celebrating, since it's been five years for Lucy to recover from her injury back at the last seen location of Natsu.

Then they saw Lucy finally walking again – with difficulty – without her walking aides. Everyone applauded and cheered for her as she waved, stumbled, and walked to a table.

Drinks were poured, but as soon as the cups were lifted for cheers, no one drank them.

And it killed the mood.

Everyone ignored the drinks and somehow started a fight.

Lucy sweatdropped and stared at the crowd. "As lively as ever…"

Erza, Gray, Mira, and Happy walked over/flew over, avoiding flying chairs, barrels, and magic.

"Congrats, Lucy, finally able to walk again." Gray said.

"Thanks." Lucy replied.

"Congratulations as well." Erza said.

"Uh…Thanks."

"I'm happy that you can finally walk around the guild now." Mira said.

"Thanks…"

They stared at each other, either looking away awkwardly, rapping their fingers on the table, or sighing.

A cold wind brushed through all of them, with Happy flying with it. "Awwwwkwaaard…"

Then he flew away to offer Carla some fish. Still barely any progress, since the last time.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Lucy jumped up and tackled/hugged them and they all made a noise of surprise.

"I missed you guys, I missed going on missions, I missed Fairy Tail!" Lucy said as tears poured out of her eyes.

The three smiled and hugged back. A few seconds later a screaming Juvia came and pulled Gray out of the group hug.

The two were face to face as Juvia became a demon and her expression darkened.

"Gray?"

"Y-yes Juvia?"

"What are you doing with love-rival?"

"W-we were j-just hugging it-"

Juvia smashed the table in half right next to her, making Gray shiver and yelp in fear.

"GRAY!"

Gray looked at Juvia in pure fear and closed his eyes and braced himself, expecting punishment, but heard stifled crying.

He opened his eyes and saw Juvia crying all red and teary. His jaw dropped to the floor, WHAT THE HELL?!

"*Sob* Gray-sama…Gray-sama cheated on Juvia…*sob…Gray-sama doesn't like Juvia anymore…*sob*..." Juvia looked up with tears flooding down her cheeks then ran away sobbing, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GRAY-SAMA HATES JUVIA!"

It took a while for Gray to process. "…WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? NO WAIT, JUVIA COME BACK! JUVIA I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU!"

He ran off and left a trail of dust behind. The girls just sweatdropped and after a minute they laughed.

They calmed down as they wiped the tears from their eyes. "Ha…so…Gray is finally dating Juvia."

"Yup, and they were perfect together when I brought them toge-" She stopped and caught herself, "I mean THEY 'accidentally' went on a mission together and found each other a little close for comfort…" She dozed off into daydream, silently muttering 'Gruvia Babies.'

Lucy sweatdropped, "And Mira is still the same demon as ever…"

"W-well…she d-did help me…" Erza stuttered as she looked away and blushed.

"With what?" Lucy asked.

"N-nothing."

Hmmmm…...,she thought mischievously,…..oh, I know!

Mira has already come back to her senses and is working at the bar, and emo when Erza threatened to spill her recent plan.

"You're no fun…" Mira whined as she moped whilst wiping the counter.

"Serves you right."

Lucy sat next to Erza as she was savoring her strawberry cheesecake. "So Erza, how's Jellal?"

She spit out her cheesecake all over Mira and other people sitting at the bar.

"Hey!"

"What the hell?"

"Erza!"

"…"

Erza looked at Lucy wide-eyed and blushed. "Um…I haven't seen him in awhile, I think he's probably busy…w-with his…*mutters*"

"With who~?" she teased playfully

"…******…" It came out barely a whisper.

"I can't hear you~."

"…Fiancé…" she wheezed out, not making eye contact.

Lucy grinned stupidly, "…Who is it?"

Erza looked down as she squirmed, deciding whether or not she should tell her. Her blush intensified. "...Can I trust you?"

Lucy started nodding quickly, bobbing up in down in anticipation and excitement. "Yup. I won't tell a single soul on Earthland!"

Erza looked up all childish, looking around to make sure no one is listening. "…me…."

Outer Magnolia

Gildarts was limping his way back to Fairy Tail, groaning at the pain of walking all the way back from his years-long journey, wandering. He was grumpy that he had to drag his way to Fairy Tail since Makarov forced him too. Well at least he got to see his little sunshine, Cana.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!

Gildarts fell over to the loud screaming, which temporarily made him deaf.

It was two girls screaming, coming from the guild.

And Gildarts accurate (false) parenting instincts surged to life and immediately thought of his daughter.

He raced and left a trail of dust.

"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M COOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG!"

The screaming/shrieking made everyone fall over and actually stop a brawl.

A FAIRY TAIL FIGHT.

Everyone got up and started rubbing their ears or/and temples.

Erza had a death glare, or rather Erza glare.

"LUCY!

"Oops." She was grinning mischievously.

"WHAT DO YOU HAV- Wait…who was the other person screaming…"

Lucy was still grinning stupidly in lala-land as Erza got up and heard muffled giggling from under the bar. She jumped over and see Mira covering her mouth, paralyzed by extreme happiness. Too much happiness.

"Oh no…Lucy what have you done?!"

Mira then couldn't keep herself together. She jumped up and yelled.

"ERZAANDJELLALAREGONNAHAVEBABIES!THEY'REGETTINGMARRIED!STARTMAKINGPREPERATIONS!" She went demon and her expression darkened, then tackled Erza to the floor. "BABIES ERZA! I WANT THIRTY JERZA BABIES! THIRY! I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE THIRTY!"

"T-t-thiry? B-babies? J-Jellal…" Steam poured out of her ears as her face blushed to match her hair. She muttered her last word and fainted.

K.O.

Everyone turned to Mira as she was shaking a fainted Erza and crying for babies. Then all sweatdropped, even Lucy was trying to stop her.

"ERZAWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEU-"

"Mira! Stop doing that! Don't sha-"

CRASH!

Everyone turned their heads to the entrance of the guild hall and saw the door explode and crumbled into little cubes as Gildarts kicked the door open.

Tears were flooding from his eyes and looked pitiful as he cried out his daughter's name. "CANA! ARE YOU OKAY! DID THEY HURT YOU! CANAAAAAA! *sob*"

He was tackled her and then a dust cloud was formed as Cana pushed her father's face and punched it over and over again.

"CANA!"

"GETOFFEME!ISWEARYOUARESOFREAKINGIRRITAITING!LEAVINGFOR5YEARSANDTHENCOMINGBACK-"

Annoyed, Cana threw her boyfriend (a barrel of beer, or whisky, or vodka, or anything with alcohol) at his dad, missed and hit Elfman over the head when he was chanting his manliness.

"OI! INTERRUPTING SOMEONE IS UNMANLY! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT TAKES TO BE MA- *SMACK* Ow…"

Evergreen smacked his face with a fan. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! AND THAT'S A GIRL YOU'RE TALKING TOO!"

"HEY! YOU- Whoa!" Elfman tripped over the barrel and landed on a table that split in half, where it ruined the cheesecake of Erza. Who was saving it.

She woke up and went berserk mode and turned into her purgatory armor and equipped another an electric spear. She started swinging her sword everywhere and zapping people. Screams were heard.

Somehow Juvia started using Gray as a weapon by surrounding him in water and made him a part of a water mace, which he froze in panic and is unconscious while being swung around. She was crying about the loss of her Gray-sama while tears constantly poured down her face, swinging it around while drinking.

Then the guild was in a full on brawl, caused by some accident or stupid misunderstanding.

Guild Quest Board…

Meanwhile, Nab was staring at the guild's quest board.

He turned around to see the guild fighting as usual, and Makarov silently crying as he walked into his office, muttering about 'bills.'

"Meh. Nothing out of the ordinary." Nab turned around to see a new request on the board. "Well that's weird."

He squinted his eyes and moved his head to the quest and saw a weird, italicized language in the middle of it.

"BAKNEZ KAROU TEKKEN HOKI ABRZA KINANA SNAKE. What the heck?"

Back at the Chaos…

In the middle of the fight, Kinana was somewhere hiding under a table. Everyone in the middle of the guild is surrounded by a huge dust cloud. Partly responsible by Max, with his date with his broom.

"*Cough cough* Where is all of this sand coming from? *cough cough*" Kinana said as she crawled out from under the table.

"I need to get to the bar. Hmm? What the-" She looked down and squinted and saw her skin turning purple.

"Huh…Agh…Ah…AAAAAAAAA!" She screamed in pain and agony, scales were growing rapidly across her body, her mouth became bigger, her eyes slitted in turned yellow, her legs were merging together and formed into a tail. She grew bigger and bigger each second and venom was powering out of her fangs, which replaced her teeth.

She became her original form.

Wha-what happened to me?

Everyone turned to see a giant purple snake, venom constantly dripping from her fangs, eyes slit with death. She turned and glared at the wizards, who screamed and ran away.

No, wait! Come back!

She slithered after them, the poison ripping through the floor boards.

Levy stared at the slithering Kinana and drooped in depression as she sighed, "I guess I have to find a cure again…"

1 hour later because the author is too lazy to write other details and has a schedule.

The guild is a wreck.

On the inside.

Actually it was pretty empty, just full of people. Gildarts destroyed almost all the furniture on the main floor of the guild hall. The floors were almost corroded completely because of the venom of Kinana, who, by the way, is cured.

And now everyone was lying down snoring or unconscious.

Also Lucy, Wendy, and Carla was behind the bar sweatdropping.

"Well…the guild…" Wendy began, but couldn't finish, there were no words to describe this madness.

"Is ruined?" Lucy laughed/coughed.

They all chuckled lightly and sighed together, leaving a few moments of awkward silence.

"Well," Lucy said as she stood and clapped her hands, "let's fix the guild!"

Carla stared at her and furrowed and eyebrow, "How do you suppose we do that?"

Lucy just smiled. "Levy."

.

.

.

"….."

"….."

"….."

"…..So?"

"But Lusssheee…I'm twired….AHAHAHAHA!" Levy just doubled over and laughed.

"Oh, no…. Well she's drunk." Lucy passed out and gave up.

Carla and Wendy just sweatdropped as she started snoring.

"Well were on our own."

CRASH!

The doors of the guild hall opened up and revealed a heavily injured man, half carrying half dragging a spiky blond who also was in bad shape and unconscious. They both had white and black marks on their skin. The mysterious man was about to pass out.

"H-help…U-us…" the black haired man called out weakly. He stumbled down the stairs into the-

Wendy yelled to warn them. "WAIT! HOLD ON! DON'T STEP INTO THAT-!"

Too late.

"WHOA! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh…"

CRASH!

A splintering sound of wooden crates destroyed and sounds of metal were heard as groaning and screams of pain filled the silence of snoring.

They both sweatdropped, it was going to be a long day.

A door opened as the jingling of a bell broke the peaceful silence. Sounds of clanking and boots walking across the floor.

Jev looked up and saw the familiar bounty hunter that came and bought his monthly antiques.

"So whatcha got for me, Jev?" Natsu said as he leaned on the counter.

Jev's crooked smile crept on to his face and chuckled.

"Something very deadly, very…how do I put this…ah, nuclear."

Natsu looked up in surprise, and smiled as he scoffed and closed his eyes. "Let's go see."

Hey, sorry if this is late.

Also as you noticed a put up a new chapter thanks to this comment:

Uhhm, being drunk doesn't change your persona that much. If anything it's more like a truth serum. Usually people don't lie when they're drunk, so if they did that s**t when they were drunk then they really dont like natsu at all.

I'm gonna take this comment seriously, since I haven't really explained it much.

Anyway see ya later.