Shepard shot Tali a look and clinked her glass to theirs. As she drank, she spotted Garrus coming in. She gave him a little wave and watched as he sat with the group playing poker.
She talked with Tali and Thane, who was asking questions about Tali's flotilla and her envirosuit. Shepard got up to refill her drink, and turned to see Thane had gotten up and was doing the same.
"I am surprised to see you drink dextro whiskey. That doesn't make you sick?"
She shook her head, "No, since my Cerberus rebuild, I've been able to eat both. Actually, I kind of prefer the dextro food. For some reason it tastes better."
Garrus leaned over to Joker as Jacob shuffled the cards for the next hand. "So, what's going on with those two?"
Joker looked up to where he was pointing. "Thane and Shepard? I don't know. They looked pretty chummy today when they came back from shore leave."
"They look pretty chummy now, as well." Garrus grumbled.
A few more of the crew showed up, and the room started getting crowded. Shepard finished her drink, then took another. She glanced over at Garrus a few times, and saw he was pretty engrossed in the game.
"Um, you'll have to excuse me, Thane. I'd like to play a few hands while there are still credits to be won."
He bowed and watched her walk towards the group before turning to talk to Samara and Tali.
She leaned on Joker's shoulder, "Ready to deal me in?"
"I might as well turn in right now." Donnelly moaned.
"Giving in that quickly?" Jacob looked at him with reproach.
"Hey, she skunked me in Skyllian five. I've never played with anyone that good."
Joker scooted over to give her a place to sit, but she moved around him by Garrus, "I'll squeeze in here, if that's alright with you."
"Fine by me," Garrus said and moved over.
She won every hand after that, over Joker's groans, Garrus' chuckling, and Donnelly's protestations of 'I told you so.'
She got up, "Well, I'd better leave and give you other guys a chance." She started towards the bar, when she felt Garrus' hand on her arm, "I'll come with you."
They walked around the group and up to the end of the bar where it was quieter.
"Nice of Samara to let us use this room," Garrus remarked.
Shepard poured them each a drink, "Yeah, where is she?"
Garrus looked around, "Sitting on the couch with Thane. They look pretty deep in conversation."
"Oh?" Shepard strained to see, "Yea, they do." She took a drink and looked happily at Garrus. No matter how much Tali talked about 'moving on', she just couldn't see herself with anyone else. She sighed, too bad he didn't feel the same way.
"What's his deal?" Garrus asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, he talks a lot to everyone, what's he trying to do?"
Shepard crinkled up her nose, "Well, he seems fascinated by different species. He was asking me a lot about human customs today, and asking Tali about the flotilla and stuff. He probably has never talked to a Justicar. He's like a meditative, wisdom-type thinker guy."
Garrus made a face, "That's how you put it?"
"After this many drinks, that's the best you're going to get. Anyway, he just seems curious about everything."
"Looks like he's getting cozy with Samara."
"Well, he's got a fatal disease that's going to kill him in the next year or so. He's probably looking for a last chance of love and comfort, you know? I don't blame the guy."
Garrus mulled that over. He'd heard Thane was sick, but didn't know it was that serious. He turned his attention back to her.
"So, you don't see issues with different species being together?"
She frowned and said forcefully, "No. Not at all. I mean, if two people care for each other and they can make it work logistically, why the hell not?"
Garrus nodded, "But that's only in theory. For you I mean."
Shepard put her drink down, irritated, "What's that supposed to mean? I've had a Turian boyfriend before."
"You what?" Garrus was stunned.
"Yea. When I was a cadet on the Alliance training base. My last semester, we had a Turian instructor for our combat class. At first we hated each other, but I learned where he was coming from, his drive, his demanding nature, plus he was funny, and handsome," she thought back wistfully, "Anyway, we had a relationship for a few months. Once I graduated, that was the end of it, though. I was assigned to different ships, and I never saw him again."
"The Alliance allowed that?"
"Hell no. We had to be meticulous keeping it under wraps. We both would have been severely punished or kicked out if anyone found out. He was my instructor, after all. No one ever found out, though. It helped that my roommate left after the first month. We also met far away from the base when I had time off. Anyway, the point is, we made it work, it wasn't that big of a deal, and it was actually pretty great." She took a long drink. "You know, you're the first person I've ever told that to. Don't spread it around. Somehow I still feel like I'm protecting his career."
He nodded. He'd actually asked her about different species trying to gauge her interest in Thane, but hearing this about her had been a total surprise. Ever since that day he'd rebuffed her, a small part of him had regretted it. It had been so shocking when she'd kissed him, he'd reacted quickly. He'd never thought about being with a human intimately, especially someone so close to him. As they continued their friendship, he found himself thinking about it more and more, wondering if he could do it. He'd even researched it on the extranet. Thane's apparent interest in her had forced his hand. He had to decide either he had changed his mind, or leave things as they were. That small part of him that regretting telling her no was growing larger by the day. He looked down at her, smiling sloppily at him. He leaned over and put a piece of hair back over her shoulder.
"I see you're wearing it down tonight." He said quietly.
"Well, a very important friend of mine told me it looks good this way."
"Hmm. And who are you trying to look good for?"
She picked up her drink and swished it around, "I suppose anyone who thinks I might be looking good."
"Just anyone?" he pressed.
She looked up at him, puzzled he was bantering with her this way. "I guess if you have to nail me down, it's not really anyone." She pushed back from the bar and stood up. "I'm going, it's late and I've drank way more than I usually do."
He stood up as well, "Let me walk you back to your quarters."
She waved him off, "No, no. I don't want an awkward scene by my bedroom door. I've had enough of that." She reached over and squeezed his hand, "Good spending time with you, Garrus. I'll see you tomorrow." And she turned and left. Garrus leaned back against the bar and watched to see if Thane was going to try and follow her, but he didn't, continuing his in-depth conversation with Samara.
He was reeling from her revelation. She'd been in an intimate relationship with a Turian before, he couldn't believe it. And for her to pursue that with an instructor in the Alliance, she must have really cared for him, because they were both risking their careers. Somehow, it made him even more interested in her, because it meant she wasn't just looking for a thrill, something different. She'd done this before. And if she was just looking for someone to keep her from being lonely, she could easily have turned to Thane.
He sat down and finished his drink. He finally felt like he had come to his senses, but didn't know if it was too late. How could he handle this in a way that wouldn't be insulting to her or push her away?
The next day, he decided definitely needed advice from someone who knew her well. He started with Dr. Chakwas, she was a doctor, after all. After stammering in medbay, he finally left without actually asking her anything. This was going to be harder than he thought. He considered who else he might ask, and found himself down in engineering, pulling Tali aside.
"I have to talk to you about Shepard." He started.
"What about?"
"Look, it's a long story, but basically, she wanted to, well, be in a more intimate relationship with me, and I rejected her."
"Uh-huh." Tali said.
"You don't seem surprised."
"That's because she told me about it."
"She did? What did she say?" Garrus said excitedly.
"I – you know, I really shouldn't be talking about it. She told me in confidence, and I just can't betray her trust." Tali started to walk away.
"Wait, wait!" Garrus hushed his voice when he noticed the other engineers looking at them. "I'm trying to make it better, to talk her about it-"
Tali wasn't having any of it, "No," she said firmly. "I can't, I'm sorry. You need to talk to her."
"But that's just it," Garrus said dejectedly, "I don't know how."
Tali continued to shake her head no and walk back to her console. Frustrated, Garrus shook his head and walked back to the elevator. He thought about who else to consult. Most everyone else was too new or didn't know them well enough. He wished Liara was there, she'd be the perfect person to go to for advice. The only one left was, well, Joker.
"Spirits, I think I'm going to have to talk to him." At least then, he'd also get a male perspective.
Taking a deep breath, he made his way to the cockpit and sat next to Joker.
"What's up, big guy?"
"I have to ask you a personal question."
"I'm not a 'personal question' kind of guy."
"I know, I'm just, well, I'm desperate." Garrus looked down at his hands.
"Well, when you flatter me that way, how can I refuse?"
"I'm serious Joker, I need some advice."
He held up his hands, "Okay, I get it." He pushed a few buttons and turned to Garrus. "That turns off EDI in this room temporarily. So shoot. What do you need advice on?"
"On Shepard."
"Okay."
"She uh, made a pass at me a few weeks ago, and I rejected her."
"NO way! Are you serious!" Joker was suddenly very interested in this situation.
"Yes," Garrus hissed, "And don't tell anybody."
"Yeah, yeah, I promise. So you rejected her huh?"
Garrus leaned back and rubbed his forehead plate with the heal of his palm. "Unfortunately, yes. I've regretted it ever since. I was just so surprised, you know? I never thought about being with a human intimately."
"Wow." Joker made a face, "Is it even possible?"
"Of course. I've never done it, but it's possible."
"Okay, go on. You told her you weren't interested, but now you are?"
"Exactly. I want to tell her I've changed my mind, but I don't know how to do it. That's what I need advice on. I can't go to her and say, 'At first I was really freaked out about the idea, but now it's grown on me, and I think I want to try.' I need help."
"You sure do. You definitely can't say anything like that. Well, let me think about this. You're definitely sure you find her attractive, can see yourself doing the deed with her?"
"Spirits, yes, Joker, or else I wouldn't be humiliating myself asking you about it."
"Hey, I'm just asking, because the last thing you want to do is start getting hot and heavy with her, and then giving her a look of 'Ew' when she takes her clothes off or starts to kiss you."
"She did kiss me in my quarters, on my cheek."
"Really! Well, aren't you the man."
Garrus shot him a look.
"Okay, okay, being serious now. I would suggest, honestly, doing research on the extranet – real research, not porn, that's not realistic, take my word on that. And, trying to court her."
"Trying to what?"
"You know, like gain her favor, date her, get her to fall in love with you while you are showing her how you feel. Like, spending more time with her, and I don't mean work stuff."
"You mean like going out to eat, stuff like that?"
"Yea, and maybe 'Meet me for a drink down in Kasumi's bar', you know Kasumi leaves it open for the crew. She spends most of her time watching Jacob cloaked in his quarters."
"No, I didn't know that."
"Oh yea, it's the worst kept secret on the ship. Anyhoo, also – oh, have dinner together in her quarters. Or watch a vid in her quarters. That's a good one too."
"But she would have to invite me up there."
"True, but you could suggest it, and see if she agrees."
"Yes, I see what you mean. Those are good suggestions. Thanks Joker," he patted him on the back, "I should have come to you first."
Joker frowned, "You mean I wasn't your first choice?"
Garrus looked behind him as he walked away, "I told you I was desperate."
"Geez. I'll be your first choice from now on then, won't I?"
"We'll see how it works out." He called back as he walked down the walkway towards the CIC.