Recommendation: This chapter's recommended fic is "Trust" by chem prof. This short story explores how books 5 and 6 might have gone differently if Harry had simply trusted his friends a bit more. H/Hr.
Chapter 31 - Body Talk
Tuesday, February 2, 1995, Late Evening.
When Jasmine entered the Room of Requirement, she figured that she must look just as nervous as her girlfriend did the previous evening. "Hi — c'mon in," Hermione said, obviously trying hard to put her at ease. It was the same room as before, with a comfortable loveseat and warm fire burning in the fireplace. "Thanks for coming — we do have a few things to talk about."
When Jasmine sat down, Hermione reached out and took her hand. "I'm not mad at you, Jasmine, just so you know. I want to get that out there right away. You shouldn't have any reason to think I'd be mad at you, but I know your tendency to take the blame for everything that happens to you. Or even around you." Hermione smiled knowingly when she saw Jasmine's sheepish look.
"First, I need to make some confessions. In many ways, the situation was more my fault than yours. Well, honestly, you can't be said to have any real blame — your reaction was natural given what you've gone through. What I mean is, the problem we have has at least as much to do with me as it does with you." Jasmine was surprised to hear this, but before she could respond, Hermione continued, "So, what I did that night was something I'd been thinking about doing for a week. I made a big mistake by not saying anything when I should have. Like in so many other situations, I saw what I thought was the right end goal and jumped for it, ignoring some important steps in the middle — like talking to my partner about what she wanted." She paused, then added, "I've just been so happy with you lately that I wanted to experience... well, more of you, and I assumed you felt the same way."
Jasmine squeezed her hand, letting Hermione know that she was saying the right things. "Along the same lines," she continued, "I read information about Imbolc in that book by Pureheart, information that I should have shared with you. It's part of what got me thinking about what I wanted to do after the celebration."
Taking a deep breath, Hermione said, "You know that I've read more than you in that book and have been trying to fix that?"
When Jasmine nodded, Hermione pressed on, "Well, I've seen how uncomfortable you can be when sex comes up in conversation. I didn't know why, and the book has a lot about sex in it. I didn't want you to freak out by reading the more explicit sections too soon, so I've been trying to… well… ease you into it by giving you the tamest portions to read first. Maybe if I hadn't, or maybe if I'd gone faster with you..."
Jasmine's eyes narrowed on hearing that. "So what you're saying," she said dangerously, "is that you thought you knew what was best for me and just acted on it instead of asking me what I wanted?"
Hermione looked suddenly nervous. "Um... yeah, something like that..."
"Bloody hell, Hermione!" Jasmine exploded, snatching her hand away and unconsciously clenching her fist. "You know how much I hate that! I've got Dumbledore and every other adult in my life already treating me that way — I don't need you doing it too!"
"I know, I know, and I'm really sorry!" Hermione said hurriedly, for once having the sense not to call Jasmine out on her language. "I wasn't thinking about it in those terms, honest! I just... wanted to make things easier for you."
Jasmine had been gearing up for another righteous rant, but her burgeoning anger deflated a bit at that. Part of her still wanted to throttle her girlfriend, but she knew Hermione hadn't actually been trying to be controlling or manipulative. What she did and what Dumbledore had presumably been doing all her life were not the same thing.
She also remembered a certain conversation about house elves in which she herself had presented information in a way that would produce a favorable result in Hermione. That wasn't the same thing either, really, but she had thought at the time that it might be a little manipulative, then did it anyway because the results were worth it. Were there degrees of manipulation?
She shook her head in frustration. She didn't know the answer to that, but she knew Hermione was waiting for her... and expected to be yelled at some more, judging by the look on her face.
Jasmine sighed heavily.
"I'm really not happy that you did that, but I get that you were trying to help me. I guess we were bound to have problems over this issue, but at least we could have been working on them together rather than you trying to fix things and me being kept in the dark. So next time, just talk to me about it, OK?"
"Absolutely," Hermione agreed readily, looking relieved. "Again, I'm really sorry — I'll try to do better in the future."
"You said 'first,' which implies there's something else?" Jasmine prompted, now wondering what fresh hell might still be coming her way.
"The second issue is in some ways more difficult," Hermione said a bit apologetically, causing Jasmine to grimace. "We need to talk about sex and physical intimacy. I understand that, because of the Dursleys, you have a problem being touched in certain ways, but I'm not willing to give up on having a physical relationship with you, not this soon in our time together as a couple. I want to help you get past it because I want to have more with you, eventually; but for that to happen, we're going to have to have a blunt and honest conversation. More than one, probably."
"I… was kind of afraid of that," Jasmine responded, looking very uncomfortable again.
"You don't have to be afraid," Hermione said reassuringly. "You never have to be afraid. I won't push you beyond where you're comfortable, but you do need to be willing to accept help to get past what the Dursleys did to you."
Jasmine simply nodded, not able to speak about that yet.
"I know it's hard for you, so I'm going to start. I'll need to explain my perspective regardless, but I hope that if I go first, that will make it easier for you, OK?"
Again Jasmine nodded, feeling a bit better knowing that Hermione would start.
"As you know," Hermione said, "at some point my parents started treating me more and more like a small adult rather than as a child. This included explaining the body, physical development, and sex, which means I was treated to explanations and information that were above what's probably typical for that age. Fortunately I had already read enough on my own to be able to understand on an intellectual level, but it was still more than I could really deal with. I've come to wonder if maybe that played a role in my desire to suppress thoughts about romance: learning about sex that way just made it all seem very unpleasant."
"That sounds a little similar to me," Jasmine hesitantly suggested. "The unpleasant associations, I mean."
"In some ways, yes," Hermione replied, "though not as extreme, obviously. One big difference, though, is that included in my parents' explanation... well, explanations, really — they gave me several talks over the years as I grew. The most recent was this past summer, actually. The requirement to buy a dress got my mother talking to me about dating and boyfriends."
Jasmine nodded, remembering Hermione talking about this before the Yule Ball.
"Anyway," she continued, "in all of the discussions, there were messages about sex and physical intimacy being an important, positive part of a romantic relationship. My parents made sure I understood that physical intimacy is an important way for partners to express their love, to show their devotion, to enjoy each other, and to truly unite with one another. It seems as though I rejected romance as part of avoiding physical intimacy, but now that I'm accepting romantic love, I'm also interested in embracing physical intimacy. In your case, you've been driven away from intimate touching without any connection to the romance.
Jasmine nodded again, understanding the differences she described.
"My reading of Pureheart's book has reinforced that message," Hermione went on. "Almost everything she writes in that book has the underlying theme about sex and love being fundamental forces for life — and note that I say sex, not just love. As she explains it, physical intimacy is a very important, very positive good in the world, and it's made all the better when combined with emotional and psychological intimacy — in other words, love. She has good things to say about sex without love and love without sex, but she makes it clear that they are best when combined — and that the world is better off when more people combine them in as many ways as possible."
After waiting a bit for Jasmine to come to terms with all of that, Hermione continued, "So that in a nutshell is my view on physical intimacy, sex, love, and how they are connected. There are lots more details, but I don't want to bore you with a lecture." Now it was Jasmine's turn to smile knowingly.
"I'm not going to ask you to talk about yourself right now," Hermione said next. "I want to give you some time to think about what I just said. Soon, though, you need to start reading the more explicit passages of Pureheart's book. And soon, you'll need to start talking about your own feelings."
Jasmine nodded, then asked, "And do you think that will help me? Will that be enough for us to… well… you know?"
Hermione smiled, noting that Jasmine still wasn't able to use certain words. "I honestly don't know," she admitted, "but I can say for certain that we won't get anywhere without talking these things through. It may not be enough, but it's the best and only place to start."
"What else could there be to do?" Jasmine wondered.
"I've been having trouble with that question myself," Hermione said sadly. "I don't feel comfortable asking Professor McGonagall." Jasmine shook her head vigorously, telling Hermione that had been a good decision on her part. "Even if my parents were close by, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be asking them; though since they're a happily married couple, I'd like to think they'd be most able to help." Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook her head. "I just don't know. I'll have to keep thinking about it."
"So now what?" Jasmine asked timidly.
Hermione pulled Jasmine into a tight hug and said, "Like I said, when you're ready, you'll have to do some reading. For now, maybe it would be good to try to work yourself past the lies the Dursleys told you. Try telling yourself, as often as you can, that touching yourself doesn't make you a freak and that being touched — at least by the right person — isn't unnatural or abnormal." Hermione paused briefly, then added, "Well, in private at least. I wouldn't recommend doing either in the Great Hall during dinner."
It started as a snort, then it turned into a giggle, then it became a full-on belly laugh, allowing both of them to release some of the tension that had built up during the evening. It was a release that both of them desperately needed.
Tuesday, February 2, 1995, Night.
The recent run of good health seemed to be petering out for Tom Riddle. For a couple of days now he'd been feeling really good, but today he'd taken a turn for the worse with his previous levels of discomfort and aching starting to return.
He tried not to show it, believing that it was a bad idea to show any weakness, but his servant could tell that there was something wrong. Peter couldn't be sure what it was, but he feared that his nights of being tortured were about to make a spectacular comeback.
Nagini watched her master, completely unsurprised by the return of his pain — pain which she, too, suffered from slightly through her familiar bond with him. More and more she was thinking that bonding with him had been a bad idea, though there didn't seem to be anything she could do about it now.
Wednesday, February 3, 1995, Early Morning.
Jasmine was just starting to wake up on her own when Hermione's head popped in between her bed curtains. "Jasmine!" she whispered. "Good, you're finally awake!" Knowing she wouldn't be allowed to doze now before having to get up for the day, Jasmine sat up in bed while Hermione climbed in next to her. The incident from Imbolc made Jasmine instinctively start to panic a little, but she shoved that down as hard as she could. I will not start freaking out every time Hermione gets close to me, she said to herself. I. Will. Not.
"I've got an idea about who to talk to," Hermione said excitedly as Jasmine rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"Who?" Jasmine asked warily.
"Well," Hermione started, her excitement suddenly turning into nervousness, "I must have laid awake half the night thinking about this, considering and rejecting everyone either of us knows, which wasn't all that many people by the way, so I went through them all a couple more times, and in the end the decision was obvious because I really don't feel comfortable doing this alone, so however awkward this might feel at first, it's really the best choice for us and I think that, in the long run, well, it will certainly work out for us all, and..."
Jasmine placed her finger over Hermione's lips, ending her babbling before she started turning blue from lack of oxygen. "Hermione," she said, "just tell me. I promise I'll listen to your reasoning."
Taking a deep breath, Hermione explained, "I want to write to my parents. I won't tell them who you are or why this issue came up, though to be honest there's a good chance that they'll guess who you are since there are so few girls I know well enough."
Jasmine nodded, agreeing that that was likely. "And why do you want to ask them? Last night you were against that."
"Well," Hermione responded, "I realized that in some ways this is a medical issue as well as a psychological one." Seeing Jasmine's quizzical expression, she went on, "I realized that you must have never been given 'the talk' about sex and puberty, right?" Taking Jasmine's blush as confirmation, she said, "So that's really a medical issue, and my parents are..."
Hermione paused, gave Jasmine a strange look, then asked, "Wait, so what did you do when you started having your period?"
Jasmine blushed even harder, finally saying, "I never had it before coming to Hogwarts. Not until late in my third year, in fact, and even then it was very irregular. I didn't get my period at all last summer, thankfully. I think it's because of how little I've always eaten at the Dursleys." Jasmine was looking down at her lap, more than a bit embarrassed to have to talk about this (especially since it meant admitting that she hadn't confided in her best friend about it), so she didn't see the tears welling up in Hermione's eyes.
"Anyway," she continued, "by then I had heard enough from others talking in the dorm to have some idea of what to do, and when it happened I went to Madam Pomfrey. I acted like I knew what I was doing, so she didn't press for more information."
Hermione leaned forward to pull Jasmine into a tight hug and said, "I promise, I'll do everything I can to get you out of that place. Every time you talk about it, it just sounds worse and worse."
It was a long moment before Hermione would let her go, but eventually they did separate, and Hermione continued. "As I was saying, my parents are dentists and have medical training. That's in addition to the fact that they are a happily married couple and were able to give me very sex-positive talks about puberty and physical development as I was growing up. Also, since this is by letter, I can word it carefully, and they can take some time to write a detailed response. There won't be any stammering from embarrassment. Finally, I can ask them to send some muggle books — after having already looked all through the Hogwarts library for any books on sex, I can tell you now that there's nothing there that will help us."
Jasmine was nodding throughout this explanation, seeing that Hermione had the right of it. Although it was extremely awkward and uncomfortable to even think of her writing to her parents about this, there were too many benefits to doing so. The biggest problem would be when her parents discovered that the two of them were a couple. If they guessed the identity of the person Hermione was writing about, that would lead to some very awkward interactions. That was well in the future, however.
"OK," Jasmine finally said, "you're right. I'm not excited about it, but if you say that you need some help to help me, then I can see where your parents would be the best people to ask. Frankly, I can't imagine being happy to have this problem discussed with anyone, so it's not like I have any special objections to your parents being the ones. And at least I don't have to look them in the eye every day."
"Thanks, Jas!" Hermione almost shouted, pulling her into another tight hug, then kissing her quickly before leaving the bed.
Sighing, Jasmine flopped back down on her back, wondering if it was worth trying to doze for a bit before Hermione insisted that she finally get up. She figured she had some time since Hermione was probably going to at least start that letter to her parents. That thought brought a smile to her lips as she realized that this might help improve Hermione's relationship with her parents. With that thought in mind, Jasmine did indeed doze off.
Wednesday, February 3, 1995, Night.
Because of the number of things they had taken on, Jasmine had reluctantly agreed to allow Hermione to create a rigorous schedule for them to follow. Hermione's scheduling had long been a point of good-natured disagreement between them: Hermione had always wanted a strict, full schedule whereas Jasmine wanted a schedule with a lot more free time for relaxation and to allow for shifting tasks.
That, however, only worked when there was enough open slots to have for free time, and that just wasn't the case anymore. The two girls' time was scheduled even right up to bed: every night, after homework but before sleeping, they practiced low-powered spellcasting, wandless spellcasting, and silent spellcasting. The first had long been going well, albeit without much success yet in real control. The second had been moderately successful, if very inconsistent.
It wasn't until the night of February 3rd, though, that there was any success in the last when Jasmine managed to cast a weak, silent Lumos with her wand. It wasn't the most useful spell to be able to cast silently — a silent, wandless Lumos would have been more useful, but unfortunately neither had yet managed to cast even a vocalized wandless Lumos consistently. Still, it proved that one of them at least was capable of silent spellcasting — and it was Jasmine, the one who needed to be able to do it for the upcoming second task.
This sudden and unexpected success surprised Jasmine so much that she almost dropped her wand. It also inspired them both to keep trying for another half hour, though sadly without a repeat.
Before she said goodnight, Hermione decided it was time to bring up one issue that she'd been struggling not to pester Jasmine about, but she simply couldn't restrain her curiosity any longer. "Jasmine," she asked, "do you think you could tell me what that snake said to you? At Imbolc?"
She saw Jasmine wince slightly before she answered, "I already said that it wasn't much." When Hermione's expression made it clear that she wanted more than that, Jasmine reluctantly continued, "It didn't really make a lot of sense. It said I had two fates, needed a mate, needed to get over my past, and something about the world burning."
Hermione frowned for a moment, then said, "So... it was like a snake version of Professor Trelawney?"
Jasmine snickered. "Yeah, pretty much. It was really weird. It did mention overcoming my fears before facing the trials before me, which might have been a reference to this tournament. None of it seemed related to the stuff the girl was saying."
Shrugging, Hermione started to head back to her own bed. "Maybe you should write it down before you forget it all," she suggested. "If nothing else, you might find it amusing someday."
After her girlfriend was gone, Jasmine thought more carefully about what the serpent had said and realized that she hadn't actually forgotten any of it. She also had the distinct feeling that it was really important to do as Hermione said and write it down, so she summoned a quill and parchment and took care of it before finally dropping off to sleep.
Friday, February 5, 1995, Morning.
Hedwig returned with the response from Hermione's parents just two days after she had sent out her letter to them. Jasmine never saw that letter, since Hermione had managed to get it written and sent off with Hedwig before Jasmine had awoken for the second time Wednesday morning; but Hermione said that she had given her mother a basic overview of the problem and asked for any advice she might have — including, if possible, any books she thought might be helpful.
Hermione was anxious to see what Hedwig had brought, but the snowy owl's burden included not just a letter, but one of the Grangers' self-shrinking boxes, and Hermione dared not open that at the breakfast table. She couldn't be sure what her mother had sent, but she was certain it wouldn't do to have it seen by everyone. This meant she and Jasmine would have to wait until their morning break.
In the meantime, Hermione decided to read her mother's letter — and during History of Magic, too. This was the second time in recent memory that Hermione had chosen to do something other than pay attention and take notes during one of Binns' lectures, a fact which Jasmine would delight in reminding Hermione about. Frequently.
Not that Jasmine could blame her, really. She herself certainly wasn't interested in Binns droning on and on about the goblin leader Kneebiter the Narcoleptic and how he tried to lead a rebellion in 1744 by creating an army of trained, ill-tempered flobberworms.
After Hermione read the letter through a couple of times, she handed it over to Jasmine — it did, after all, concern her the most.
"Dear Hermione,
I was so sorry to read about your friend. It sounds like she's had some awful experiences, and I'm sure you haven't told me everything, either. Although you don't say, I get the impression that this happened in our world? If so, please keep in mind that there are legal options for her. If her treatment was as bad as I suspect, getting the local authorities to intervene shouldn't be too hard. If she needs someplace to stay while that is being dealt with, we can offer her our guest bedroom.
As per your request, I didn't tell your father about the contents of your letter — the excuse of "girl problems" worked. I rushed out and purchased several books that I thought would help. I included a couple that are aimed at much younger age levels because I thought that since she's never been educated on these matters, it might help to start her out easy and let her work her way up. Please make sure she knows that so she doesn't imagine that I'm trying to insult her by sending her such material.
As to what advice I can give you, that's harder. Ideally this would be handled by a skilled, professional counselor who has experience with abused teen girls who have undergone some sort of sexual trauma. I understand that what she's experienced isn't the same as molestation or sexual abuse, but I suspect that some of the mental and psychological consequences might be similar. A professional counselor would know the right things to ask and how to direct the conversations.
Anyway, the most important advice I can give is for you to simply be there for her. Don't push too hard, but don't let yourself be pushed away, either. Another thing you can try is to encourage her to focus on positive thoughts. I know that might sound corny, but if her primary problem is strong negative associations with her body and with touching her body, positive thinking will play a role in shifting her attitudes into a more positive direction.
The more deeply she can get those positive thoughts to settle, the less likely she may be to have an automatic, negative reaction to certain ideas or actions. Change won't happen quickly, but your presence and support will help.
Please, let me know how it goes and if there is anything else I or your father can do.
- Mum"
Jasmine teared up a little, thinking about how helpful and supportive Mrs. Granger was being even without knowing that it was her, Jasmine, whom Hermione was doing this for. That she would be so helpful for an anonymous stranger, simply because Hermione asked, said a lot about what sort of person she was — and it said a lot about where Hermione got her strong moral character from, too. This served to reinforce Jasmine's determination to help bridge the distance that had developed in this family.
When Hermione saw Jasmine wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, she leaned over to ask, "Jasmine, what's wrong? Are you alright?"
Sniffling a little, Jasmine answered, "I'm fine. It's just this letter — you're mum is really awesome, did you know that? She's being so nice and helpful to a stranger whose name she doesn't even know. I can see that you take after her a lot, too." Sighing, she added, "I'd like to think my mum would have been as awesome as yours. You're so lucky."
Hermione was a little taken aback by that, never having thought of her mother in quite that way. She also knew Jasmine wasn't exactly effusive in her praise for adults — Hermione didn't think she'd ever said anything like that about Mrs. Weasley, for example, and Mrs. Weasley treated Jasmine like a second daughter.
Hermione realized that perhaps she should think about that and reconsider her own feelings about her mother.
Friday, February 5, 1995, Late Morning.
During the break between morning classes, Jasmine and Hermione rushed to the fourth-year girls' dormitory so they could unshrink and open the box sent by Mrs. Granger. When they did, they pulled out a half dozen books. As the letter said, a couple were clearly aimed at much younger girls, and while Jasmine expected to feel uncomfortable reading them, she agreed that it might be an easier place to start.
Surprising them both was an entire book about the biology and habits of the duck-billed platypus. "I'd completely forgotten that I'd written to my parents about this!" Hermione exclaimed. "I'll have to give it to Ginny for Luna."
The book that appealed most to Jasmine was What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls, since that seemed to be aimed at her own age group. The book that made Hermione almost squeal in excitement was The New Our Bodies, Ourselves: Updated and Expanded for the 90s. "Jasmine," she said, "this is a really, really good book. It's written with adults in mind, but it's not too hard for teens to understand. My mother walked me through the sections she had me read, so I can do the same for you if you have problems. Oh! And this is the most recent edition, from 1992. My mother's is from 1984. You wouldn't mind if I borrowed it when you're done, would you? I'd like to see what's new in it."
"No, Hermione, of course I don't mind. But it's awfully thick — it might take me a while to get through it."
"Don't worry," Hermione said, shaking her head, "there's a lot in here that isn't important for you right now — material on what women go through during pregnancy or when they are older." Hermione opened the book and read through the table of contents. "If you want," she added, "I can make a small mark next to the sections I think you should read now?" When Jasmine nodded, Hermione proceeded to do just that while Jasmine skimmed through the other books.
When Hermione was done, she said that she had made a single mark next to chapters that were important to read now and two marks next to chapters that were a good idea to read now, but not critical. She also pointed out that her mother included what appeared to be a photocopy of the original 1970 edition. "This edition has a more radical message, if I remember correctly," Hermione said, "Like the most recent edition, you don't need to read it all, so I'll mark which chapters are most important."
Jasmine looked at the table of contents of both editions and was happy to see that she wouldn't have too much to read in it after all, even if she read both groups that Hermione had marked. Wondering why her girlfriend was so excited, she flipped to the introduction of the 1992 edition, where she read:
"All through this book we emphasize wherever possible what women can do — for ourselves, for each other — in staying healthy, healing ourselves, and working for change."
Jasmine thought that sounded really good. She like that message, and her girlfriend agreed that it was both important and empowering when Jasmine pointed it out to her. It made both of them feel a lot better about taking the time to read the book, despite all of their other commitments.
Neither witch had any idea just what sort of change those two books would create in Hogwarts over the course of the spring term.
Friday, February 5, 1995, Afternoon.
Jasmine and Hermione were in an upbeat, positive mood all day because of the letter and package sent to them by Mrs. Granger. Even Snape's and Malfoy's combined efforts during their afternoon Potions class were unable to completely shake them from their good mood, though it was a near thing.
Jasmine worked at the inside station of their table, placing her closest to the Slytherin students who used the tables on the other side of the room. On occasion she and Hermione had tried to switch, but Snape never allowed it; Jasmine was convinced that he did it specifically to ensure that she was close enough for the Slytherins to most easily taunt her. Hermione, in contrast, thought that it was simply because she wanted it that Snape denied it to her.
Regardless of the reasoning, it certainly placed her in the line of fire that Friday afternoon. Malfoy had been trying to get a reaction out of her ever since the spring term had started but without any luck. She rarely even bothered to respond with the scathing, sarcastic comments that she had adopted at the end of last term, realizing that they would lose their effectiveness if she employed them too often.
Now, after a month of mere verbal taunting, Malfoy decided to up the ante by tossing something into her potion. Despite being focused on carefully and correctly chopping up her dried dragon snot, she still saw something flying through the air in her direction. Her seeker reflexes took over, and she automatically raised her hand to bat it away. Snape saw it, of course, yelling, "Potter, what do you think you're doing?" Jasmine simply looked at him with a confused expression on her face.
"Yes, I'm talking to you, Potter. Don't act like you don't understand English." He bent down to retrieve whatever it was that she had knocked from the air. Holding it up, he sneered, "This looks like a piece of pickled mandrake tongue." Taking a lick to test it, he then said, "Yes, that's exactly what it is." He then fixed Jasmine with a furious glare and said, "Trying to sabotage someone's potion, are you, Potter? Added at the right time, this would have caused someone's cauldron to explode!"
"But… but… I didn't..." Jasmine stammered, not understanding how he could make such an obvious mistake.
"No, I don't want to hear any of your pathetic excuses, Potter," he interrupted her. His lip curled as he added, "Your father also liked to endanger other students with his juvenile pranks, and I see you take after him. Well, I think it's time to break you of that. Fifty points from Gryffindor and a week of detentions with me. We'll see how funny you think dangerous pranks are after a week of scrubbing cauldrons by hand."
"But Professor Snape," Hermione tried to say.
"Quiet, Granger!" Snape snarled. "Ten points from Gryffindor for interrupting a professor. Another word from you and you'll be joining Potter in detentions." With a dramatic swirl of his cloak, he turned and once more moved around the room to help the Slytherins and berate the Gryffindors.
While Malfoy and his cronies snickered in the background, Jasmine and Hermione just gaped as they watched him walk away. "That was low even for him," they heard Neville whisper from behind them.
Friday, February 5, 1995, Evening.
After she finally returned from Snape's detention of scrubbing cauldrons by hand, Jasmine started reading the books sent to her by Mrs. Granger. She may have had plenty of other things that needed to be done, but this had become a priority. Her hangups regarding touching herself and being touched by others were creating problems in her relationship with Hermione, and she was determined to overcome them.
Her determination was significantly bolstered when she realized that if she didn't do anything, she would in effect be allowing the Dursleys to not only win, but to continue ruining her life even when they weren't around. I can't just will the problem away, she thought, but there's definitely stuff I can do. I'm going to have to educate myself and start thinking positive thoughts. I don't want to be a victim for the rest of my life.
She read the books aimed at younger girls first. She'd assumed she'd probably be bored for most of it, but she was surprised at how much she learned — which just served to demonstrate how little she already knew. She was also very grateful for the easy explanations and clear illustrations. She knew that under other circumstances she'd be embarrassed and more than a bit uncomfortable, but as these books were written with younger girls in mind, they were designed to be easier to approach.
That, in turn, made it far easier for Jasmine to get started on the books aimed at her own age group. She wasn't able to finish them all, of course, but she read through a fair amount and felt that she made quite a bit of progress, too. If nothing else, she was able to read descriptions of the female body and what happens to it without blushing or fearing that she'd get punished.
To her, that was real progress indeed.