She froze. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt like she wanted to throw up all at the same time.
He couldn't be… He isn't. There's no way.
"Mission briefing at 20:00 hours, now go." Killian said coldly. She stood in the cupboard until she heard the door close then waited a few more seconds before flinging the cupboard open and storming out, throwing the door shut behind her. The heat of the Afghanistan air made her intense anger even more so.
"This is exactly why I said wait out." He spoke from behind her.
"You're pissed at me, how the hell does that work?" She said a little too loudly.
"I'm saying the same thing that I said to Neal. Look, we're here to work Swan." She swung around to face him.
"You're married and you didn't think to say?" She spat out.
"We split up! Separated. I've come on tour so that she can sort things out."
"You're married! What did that just slip your mind?"
"Did you not hear what I just said?"
"You lied to me." She said coldly, barely containing the rage within her.
"Not once."
"Well you were very bloody economical with the truth! What are you going to tell me next, that you've got kids?!" She shouted. His mouth dropped open, hanging in place for a few second before he looked away and then to the ground. She didn't think her heart could break anymore, but in that moment it did.
"Oh shit, he has." She said before turning and walking away, tilting her head up to the sky, trying to prevent the tears from giving her away.
This time he didn't follow her. She made her way back to the tent, where she placed her gun against the bed and sat down. Her section were all out so she let the tears flow freely. She held her head in her hands as she cried. After a while, the tears dried up slightly. She raised her head and stared out of the small windows in the tent. The sun was just setting and the sky glowed with oranges and yellows. She heard someone approaching the tent and the unmistakeable sound of the tent flap moving aside.
"Em?" Neal's voice was gentle. "Briefing at 20:00 hours. It's happening."
"Okay." She said as strongly as she could.
"You alright?" He asked suspiciously.
"Yeah, I'm just being quiet that's all." She said, her voice breaking slightly, hopefully going unnoticed by Neal.
"You sure? I can get you a pizza or something?" He asked. Then the tears started flowing again. She rubber her eyes with the palms of her hands and she felt Neal sit down next to her, placing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his chest. "Hey, don't worry. Okay?"
"What am I not supposed to worry about Neal?"
"The mission. Nothing and no-one is going to hurt you, okay? Ever." He said softly. She cried even more, realising how much he really cared about her. She pushed away slightly and snorted through her tears.
"What am I like?" She laughed, wiping her cheeks.
"Don't worry about it." He said, reassuringly.
"I'm sorry that I'm such an idiot half the time." She said.
"You and me both, eh? You know sometimes things can just creep up on you."
"Thank-you Neal. I couldn't have gotten through this tour without you." She said honestly.
"We help eachother through. That's the point." Sensing that this was getting a little too intense for her liking she lightened the conversation slightly, making her intentions clear in the process.
"You're a real friend." His face fell slightly, but he still gave her a small smile.
"Em, I'm going to give you something now and maybe it doesn't mean as much as I'd like it too…"
"Please, Neal, not now." She could tell where this was going and she didn't think she could handle it right now.
"I know what your answer will be so I'm just giving it to you now, no strings attached, while I've got the chance. Might not get the opportunity again, you know 'cause things happen and that, you know on the mission." His words were all disjointed as he reached into his pocket. The ring was even more stunning close up. The central diamond was surrounded by smaller more subtle ones. Her mouth dropped open and another tear escaped down her cheek. "It's my Mum's ring but I want you to have it. You're my best mate Ems and it so doesn't suit me." He laughed at the same time as her.
"This is so sweet Neal." She said taking the ring from him.
"Am I?" He asked, attempting to lighten the mood.
"Sometimes."
"You'll look after it yeah?" He asked gently.
"Well if it doesn't suit you then I can look after it until you want it back."
"You've looked after me. So I'm going to look after you now, until we get you home. That Kazim isn't getting anywhere near you. I promise." She pulled him towards her gently in a hug and they stayed that way until she got cramp in her arm and they laughed about her lack of feeling in her arm. This was what she loved about Neal. He could take her mind off of anything… Except Killian.
They all sat on the benches in the ops tent awaiting Gold, Killian, Humbert and the ASF. They were in the middle of a conversation about hot dogs when they approached the tent. They immediately fell silent at the seriousness of their faces. She could feel his eyes on her as soon as he entered but she kept her eyes focussed on Gold.
"Sit up!" Humbert shouted, they all straightened their backs and stared straight ahead.
"Relax." Gold said simply. "The insurgent known to us as Kazim is on his way to Kabul with a cash of explosives. Our objective is to identify and apprehend him before he causes significant loss of life. Kazim is currently in the mountain region in order to reach Kabul he needs to cross a river where there is an existing ASF check point. The truck he is believed to be travelling in is already on the road. ASF will stop it so as not to arouse suspicion. The only person who can positively ID Kazim is Private Swan. But, any sign of UK forces and it could alert spotters who will warn Kazim. So, it is imperative that this remains a covert operation." Gold's words had her shaking already. She saw Killian move out of the corner of her eye. He stepped towards the whiteboard where the mission plan was already laid out.
"At 02:00, 5th Section will board a helicopter to a landing sight 3km from the checkpoint so as not to attract attention. From there we will travel through an irrigation ditch which leads to a compound 50 metres from the checkpoint. An ASF officer will make contact with us when we reach the compound. When the truck arrives, the ASF will go through the usual checks then they will call for Private Swan to identify Kazim. Once we have apprehended him, we will call for extraction. This mission will determine how successful our time in Afghanistan has been. If Kazim gets away, lives will be lost. One life is one too many." He looked directly at Emma when he said the last words. "Any questions?" He addressed the whole group.
"No Sir!" The section responded. Gold nodded.
"Let's go get him."
The section return to their tent so they can prepare to leave. They kit up with everything they will require. Emma takes a spare shoe lace from her bag and threads it through Neal's ring. Tying it around her neck and hiding it inside her jumper. They make their way out into the darkness where they meet Jones by the chopper. They all climb on board, Killian sitting directly opposite Emma. He tries to catch her eye but she just looks away and looks at Neal on the other end of her bench, he smiles and winks at her. The ride takes around 20 minutes then they begin their descent onto the ground. They all jump down from the chopper and head in single file to the ditch, Jones makes sure they are all in before he watches the chopper fly away and then follows the rest of the section. They kneel in a circle, where Jones joins them on the ground.
"Right, Cassidy centre on the ditch, eyes forward. Everyone else focus up. Keep a couple of metres between you and the person in front of you. Let's go." They slowly stand and Neal heads straight to the front of the line. The others gradually follow, Emma and Killian are still on the ground when he speaks. "You can hate me if it helps. But I'm getting you home in one piece." Then, he stands and calls for the rest of the section to follow. She stands and follows him. She is now between him and Rob as they walk. Suddenly, there's a loud bang behind them and they all immediately move to the side of the ditch and onto the floor so they are as covered as they can be.
"What the hell was that?" Graham says into the radio. There are multiple responses but all she can focus on is trying to breathe and his face as he looks at her with fear in his eyes.
"Everyone stay down!" He shouts into the radio. He looks around and then stands, moving swiftly up and down the line ensuring everyone is alright. He moves to the front of the line. Then, there's a drop on her cheek, then another and another.
"It's thunder…" She whispers. "It's bloody thunder!" She says louder so they can all hear. Just then, it goes off again with lightning this time and the rain comes down heavier. They all laugh and stand up again.
"Rain in Afghan!" Jeff shouts from the back. She is smiling when she turns back around and sees Killian watching her with a look of relief on his face as he looks ahead and calls everyone back to the mission at hand.
"Right everyone focus up!" He shouts.
They arrive at the bunker just as dawn breaks but the sun hasn't yet risen. The sky is a dusky blue and the scenery in the mountains is stunning. She smiles as she takes a moment to appreciate the little things. Then, Neal climbs up and takes a vantage point at the top of the ditch. He scans the area through his scope, everywhere but his head covered by the wall of the ditch.
"Okay guys, secure the compound. Cassidy and Hood lead on." They follow Neal and Rob to the bunker, they check it out then call the rest of the section in when it has been cleared. "Cassidy and Rob I want you at those windows on guard duty, then Humbert and Jeff then Dave and Jup. Swan set up a temporary med centre. Everyone else, get this place squared away. Looks like we might be here a while." She walks into a small room just off the main area where she finds a ledge that was obviously used for a bed at some point. She covers it with her sleeping bag and empties her bag of all the other pieces of equipment including a drip, bandages and a needle and thread. She then looks around the small space and leans up against the ledge. Her head is hanging from both exhaustion and the fear that she might actually have to use some of this stuff. Suddenly there's shouting from the main room, she heads out with her gun to find all of them by one of the windows. There is a man walking towards the bunker. In the dawn light it was difficult to make out what he was wearing but she soon recognised it to be the ASF uniform. The man speaks in Pashto and points to the patch on his arm reading ASF.
"Relax guys, it's our ASF contact." They all visibly relax as the man enters the room. "Captain Jones, this is 5th section."
"I am Habib. You like football?" The man is clearly awkward and doesn't know what to say. "Manchester United?" He asks again.
"Nah, Liverpool mate." Jeff replies but Jones gives him a glare that soon shuts him up.
"My commanding officers will radio me when the truck approaches."
"So what now then Boss man?" Dave asks from the background.
"We wait out." He says simply.