Heart's Treasure
Chapter 5: Comfort
Sorry this took a little longer to right than I thought would. I got busied by school work. Thank you for taking time to read my story. There might be a few mistakes. I will clean this up more as soon as I can, but I think its pretty good. Please leave a review I haven't heard anything for awhile.
Perspectives: Snow and Kakuzu
Snow's Perspective
I groaned as my alarm clock rang loudly. I had no patience for the damn thing. I threw it against the wall shattering it. For a few blissful seconds my mind didn't realize it's loss. Then it came to an end far too soon. The pain came rushing back to me. The only thing occupying Kakuzu's side of the bed was Spike who licked my face. Today is just another day in an endless cycle. When will this ache end? I want it over so badly. I took a few deep breaths. It's time to put on my mask. I force a smile on my face. I dressed. I heard Rose crying for me. I went into the kitchen and made her a bottle. I lifted her from the crib.
"Shh, there's no reason for all that fuss", I said.
She hungrily suckled on her bottle. I changed her diaper and dressed her. I walked into the kitchen and placed her in the playpen. I went to Hazel's room. Her newest drawing was taped to the wall. It was of our family. This was the first of her drawings that didn't have her father in it. I gently nudged her awake. Her red and green eyes opened.
"Morning mommy", she said as she slowly sat up.
"Good morning Hazel. Did you sleep well?" I asked.
"Yep, I had the best dream", said Hazel as she stretched out her bed.
"What was it about?" I asked.
"I don't remember", said Hazel.
She threw off her blankets and ran into the bathroom. Now time to wake up Sazio. He was in a deep sleep. I nudged him awake. His eyes slowly opened. He groaned loudly and pulled the blanket over his head. So much like his father. I pulled the curtains open.
"Mommy it's too early", groaned Saizo.
"No, it isn't its time for school", I said.
"I don't feel good that means I can't go to school", said Saizo.
I put my hand on his forehead just to make sure. Completely normal.
"Up you're going to school", I said.
"No", he whined.
"If you wake up the tickle monster will come", I said.
"That worked when I was three mommy it doesn't work now", said Saizo.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
He didn't answer. I started tickling him. Saizo started laughing and squirming around in his bed.
"Stop it", whined Saizo.
"Are you going to get up?" I asked.
"Yes now stop!" begged Saizo.
I stopped and he sprung out of bed and into the hallway.
"Hurry up Hazel I gotta pee!" yelled Saizo as pounded on the bathroom door.
"Don't rush me", growled Hazel.
I left his bedroom knowing if I didn't prevent the impending fight between the two I would have to buy a new door. Saizo had a horrible habit of destroying doors. He broke down two this month. I stood in the hall. When Saizo saw me he backed away from the door.
"You can use my bathroom Saizo, but remember to put down the lid. I do not like falling into the toilet", I said.
Both Saizo and Hazel giggled. Saizo ran off to my bathroom. I made them breakfast. They finished breakfast and got them ready for school. I put Rose in a stroller.
"Hurry up mommy!" yelled Hazel as she rushed out the door.
Saizo was still half asleep. She was waiting impatiently in the front yard.
"Don't rush me Hazel we will get there on time", I said.
I walked Saizo and Hazel to kindergarten. Spike followed closely behind us.
"Mommy you know you don't have to walk us too school. Hazel and I are five years old. We can walk by ourselves", said Saizo.
"I like it when she takes us", said Hazel.
"Beside the short walk is good for me", I said.
"How much longer until Kotaro comes?" asked Hazel.
"Five months", I said.
"That long", whined Saizo.
"Why do you want him to come so quickly?" I asked.
"I want to have a little brother. I already have two younger sisters", said Saizo.
"I'm only five minutes younger than you!" growled Hazel.
I smiled when I felt Kotaro kicking. So far being pregnant with him was much easier than the twins.
"What is it mommy?" asked Hazel.
I put her hand on my stomach.
"He kicked me", said Hazel.
"I like him already", said Saizo.
We reached their school and they ran over to their friends.
"Ready to go back home Rose?" I asked.
She giggled. After a bottle Rose was ready for bed. I placed her in the crib. The new nursery was already set up for Kotaro. Even with Spike's company I felt lonely. I miss Kakuzu comforting embrace. I miss waking up and seeing him in bedsides me. There was a knock at the door and Spike started barking. I got up from the couch and answered it. It was Eiji. I smiled.
"What do I owe this visit to?" I asked.
"I thought you would want some company. You've seen withdrawn lately", said Eiji.
I can't say he's wrong. I went back to living room and sat on the couch. I hugged a pillow closely to my chest. He sat next to me.
"What's wrong?" asked Eiji.
"Nothing", I said.
"You're lying", said Eiji.
"I miss it especially when I don't have the kids to distract me", I said.
I hugged the pillow closer to my chest.
"What do you miss?" asked Eiji.
"I miss the kisses, hugs, and his comforting presence", I said.
"You can't bottle up your emotions Snow it's unhealthy", said Eiji.
He pulled the pillow from my arms. He moved me into his lap and his arms wrapped around me. I started crying. My fingers tightly clutched his shirt.
"Shh, let it out", said Eiji.
His fingers ran through my hair.
"You don't have to keep on the mask", said Eiji.
"How?"
"I wore one for such a long time. I can see one who struggles to keep theirs from shattering", said Eiji.
I sighed loudly.
"If you keep this up it will kill you", said Eiji.
"I wish", I said.
I forced my way out of his embrace.
"Snow don't say such things", said Eiji as he moved closer to me.
"It's not like I take my own life. No matter how much I crave death I can never be free of this endless cycle of suffering in life. None of our family would ever turn against me and end this pain", I said.
"Snow you have so much to live for", said Eiji.
"You have no idea of the magnitude of hell I'm constantly in!" I screamed.
"You forget I lost my wife and my child. I understand the hell your in. At least you have a reminder of what you lost", said Eiji.
"Yes, I love them more than life itself. They are the chains that bind me to this world. I have a reminder of my dead husband living inside me", I said.
I actually said. I can't believe I actually said it.
"You have so much to live for", said Eiji.
It just made the pain sting so much more. Eiji stood me up. He took my hand in his and placed them against my stomach.
"Feel", said Eiji.
I closed my eyes and felt my child move inside me.
"He needs you to live and so does your daughter and son", said Eiji.
I took a deep breath and tried collecting myself.
"Think of where they would be without you. Kotaro would die without you supporting him. Rose would lose her mother for the second time in her life. Hazel and Saizo would be orphaned. Could you really do that to the innocent beings you brought into this world?" said Eiji.
I shook my head. I can't give up on them. Eiji cupped my face in his large hands.
"You mean so much to so many. I won't allow you to escape this world by hand of our family", said Eiji.
Jeweled tears fell from my eyes.
"Look into my eyes Snow what do you see?" asked Eiji.
I forced myself to look into his eyes. They held such pain, but also so such love not only for his family, but also for our village.
"Love and pain", I said.
"But they hold less agony than your. You are far too young to hold that pain. I know a way to ease if you let me", said Eiji.
"How?" I asked.
I was so desperate to get away from it.
"Let me in", said Eiji.
I didn't know how to respond. So many emotions were rushing through my mind.
"You don't have to now, but I suggest you give into your urge for comfort before you completely break down. It will happen and it happened to me in front of people who could bring me no comfort. It took months for me to recover. I don't want you to go through that pain", said Eiji.
He leaned closer to me. Our foreheads touched. His lips touched mine in a kiss. Eiji's lips were soft and undemanding of mine. His tongue ran across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth letting his tongue explore my mouth. His tongue encouraged mine to join in. I gave in and returned the kiss. The comfort from the action was wonderful. He pulled away from me.
"I can bring you comfort if you allow me", said Eiji.
"I need time", I said.
"I will give you all the time you want", said Eiji.
He kneeled picking up my tears.
"Sapphires, emeralds, and pink pearls", said Eiji.
He sighed. Eiji stood up.
"There's nothing wrong with letting someone else into your heart. He wouldn't want you in this state of constant pain Snow", said Eiji.
"Please let me think. You've given so much to go over", I said.
"I'll take my leave", said Eiji.
He left me. I collapsed on the couch. Spike jumped up on the couch. I need a few hours to relax after taking in all that. The door of my house opened and Spike went barking at the intruder. If Spike was willing to charge at whomever it was there was no danger to me. I got up off the couch. When I reached the couch I saw Mari had helped herself to my fridge.
"You could have closed the front door", I said.
"Eh, I'm going to leave eventually I didn't see any point in closing it", said Mari.
I shut the door and took a seat next to Mari.
"How's my baby sis doing?" asked Mari.
"Fine",
"Liar, but something tells me you won't", said Mari.
"You're right I won't. I'm not in a talking mood", I said.
"I have a gift for you that might change your mood for the better", said Mari.
She pulled a wrapped box out of her bag and placed it on the table in front of me.
"What is this for?" I asked.
"Just thought you would need it", said Mari.
I opened the box and quickly shut it. My face went red.
"Why did you get me this?" I asked.
"You're a horny pregnant woman with no one to take care her urges. This is much better than using fingers", said Mari.
I hid the box on the top shelf of my closet.
"You don't have to be embarrassed about sex. It's meant to be pleasurable", said Mari.
"Sex hasn't been on my mind lately", I said.
"Sex is always on the mind you just don't notice it as easily as I do", said Mari.
"My focus has been on my unborn baby and my children", I said as I placed my hand on my stomach.
"And what were they a result of", said Mari.
"Mari I don't want to talk about this. We can talk about anything else, but not this", I said.
"Anything?" asked Mari.
I should have been more careful with my wording. Mari has way of finding loopholes in a person's speech.
"Why were you kissing Eiji?" asked Mari.
"You were spying on me?" I asked.
"Don't answer a question with a question", said Mari.
"Answer mine and I might answer yours", I said.
"I wasn't per say spying on you. I only happened to be walking by when the event occurred", said Mari.
I groaned. I swear she could have been a lawyer in another life.
"So why did you kiss him?" asked Mari.
"There's nothing to talk about", I said.
"That isn't fair", said Mari.
"Life isn't fair get used to it", I said.
"When did you get all snappy?" Mari.
"I can be as snappy as I want. You and Kameko aren't the only ones capable of doing it", I said.
"True, but let me give you one piece of advice. There's no shame in finding comfort in another's touch", said Mari.
"That touch isn't my husband's", I said.
"Snow you're a widow who's been through hell back multiple times. You're finding comfort in someone's touch isn't something to be ashamed of", said Mari.
"I have children they'll be confused. Hazel and Saizo will think I don't love their father anymore", I said.
"You loved him sis he's dead. Love is present and he isn't. Move on", said Mari.
My eyes went wide with rage. I hate that word dead. I hate it so fucking much. I grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and threw out the window. I ran out after her. My foot was on her throat.
"I love him. There is no loved", I said.
"Fine I get it now get off", said Mari.
"You have no idea what it's like to fall in love or what it's like to be a mother", I said.
"I know I haven't had that chance yet. Now get off before I throw you off", said Mari.
I took my foot off her throat. Being angry with her will get me nowhere. I need to relax. I put my hand on my stomach. I need some closure. I summoned Doku. She slithered down sleeve.
"How can I be of service to you Mistress?" asked Doku.
"I need you to watch over Rose", I said.
"I would be happy to", said Doku.
I walked to the cemetery. When I went Kakuzu's grave there was a bench. I sat down on the bench and put my hands protectively over my stomach.
"What would your father think?" I asked.
I sighed. Why do I even come here? It's only a painful reminder that he's gone. What would he think if I started moving on this quickly? Should I even be considering this? I touched my lips. That kiss felt so right though. I hadn't felt that comfort since Kakuzu.
"You look like you've got a lot on you mind", said Geomon.
I glared at him.
"Did I disrupt a thought?" he asked.
I sighed.
"Sorry, it didn't me to glare. Like you said I have a lot on my mind", I said.
I rubbed my temples I already felt a headache coming on.
"I thought you were suppose to be a ghost", I said.
He gave me an odd look.
"You're there but go unnoticed", I said.
"I couldn't help wondering if there was anything I could do to help you", said Geomon.
"Why would you want to help me?" I asked.
"I've done my job for today", said Geomon.
"In other words you have nothing better to do", I said.
Kakuzu's Perspective
That's true, but I would look for any excuse to talk to her.
"I tried putting it politely", I said.
"I've heard so much advice today guess hearing your opinion wouldn't hurt", said Snow.
"May I sit?" I asked.
I have to treat Snow extremely politely now she is one of the two guardians of the village. One wrong move with her and she can have me banished from this village and I will never see her or our children again. She nodded her head.
"What's troubling you?" I asked.
She started fiddling with her locket.
"You can trust me", I said.
"Why should I?" asked Snow.
"Who would I tell your secrets? I have nowhere else to go this my home. My only company is the dead", I said.
"How long do you think a widow should wait before moving on?" asked Snow.
I forced myself to show no anger. Geomon, the grounds keeper and has no grudge against Eiji. She should move on, but I don't want Eiji raising my children. I want him far away from them. Its cruel of me to want that. My children need a father figure and Eiji can be that figure.
"I guess whenever they are ready,but you also have to consider your children and how they would respond to having someone new taking their father's place", I said.
"I know I have to consider them. I will always put them before my own needs. No good mother wouldn't. No one could take his place in their life", said Snow.
"What could you possible need for?" I asked.
She is one of the guardians of the wealthiest village. She literally has wealth at her fingertips.
"You make sound spoiled woman", said Snow.
"I didn't mean for it to sound that way", I said.
"I know", said Snow.
"What do you need?" I said.
"Have you ever been in love?" asked Snow.
"Yes",
It feels so long ago though.
"The feeling of being close to the one you love is priceless. The comfort and love I felt in his touch is one of the things I miss the most. When I felt something close to that I gave in", said Snow.
She looked me in the eyes. There was such pain in them. Seeing her like this brought such pain to my hearts. My treasure you don't deserve to be in such pain. The old saying is true if you love someone you have to let them go. No matter how much it pains me.
"This might be an old line but it still holds true. If you love someone you let them go. He would have hated to see you suffering like this. When the time is right you should allow yourself to find new love. It doesn't matter what form it comes in", I said.
"You really think he would want that for me?" asked Snow.
"I can't be truly sure, but if I were him I wouldn't want to see you in such agony", I said.
"How can you see it? Most never notice or if they do they are kind enough not to mention it", said Snow.
"I don't mean to be unfriendly, but you take off your mask whenever you are here. I don't think its intentional", I said.
"You aren't the first to mention my mask today", said Snow.
"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable", I said.
She seemed to be distracted. A bright smile appeared on her face.
"What?" I asked.
"He's kicking. Want to feel?" asked Snow.
I nodded my head. She took my hand and placed on her stomach. There was a small kick. That's our youngest son. I will never get a chance to truly know him. He gave another little kick. I pulled my hand away.
"Do you have children?" asked Snow.
"Yes",
"Where are they?" asked Snow.
"Grown up and want nothing to do with me. I was constantly traveling and wasn't there enough for them", I said.
"Did you at least try?" asked Snow.
"Yes, but had to travel to be able to support them. My career wasn't one best suited for a parent", I said.
"You tried that says a lot. I have to pick my kids from school", said Snow.
She was having a difficult time getting up from the bench.
"Let me help you", I said.
"That would be nice thank you", said Snow.
I offered her my hand. Her small soft hand took mine and I easily helped her from the bench.
"Thanks for putting a bench here", said Snow.
Snow's Perspective
He nodded his head. There was something familiar about him. For reason I knew I could trust him.
"You don't have to thank me for doing my job", said Geomon.
I smiled.
"I wouldn't think comforting a guardian of the village is part of a grounds keeper job description", I said.
"It could be. I don't mind", said Geomon.
I gave him a small smile.
"Something tells me you and I are going to be good friends", I said.
"What makes you think that?" asked Geomon.
"You remind me of someone", I said.
I left the cemetery and returned to my almost empty house. It felt so unnatural being here. I went into the nursery and saw Rose peacefully sleeping in her crib. She's unknowing to the problems of the world. I couldn't help being somewhat envious of her.
"Nothing happened she was good and slept peacefully", said Doku.
As if sensing my presence Rose opened her bright orange eyes. She stretched her hands out to me. I picked her up.
"Are you ready to get your brother and sister from school", I said.
She gave a happy scream. Spike followed us to the school. I put her in her stroller. Hazel was waiting outside.
"Spike!" shouted Hazel.
He went running over to her.
"Where's your brother?" I asked.
"Inside he got in trouble with the teacher again", said Hazel.
"What did he do this time?" I asked.
"I don't know you gotta ask the teacher", said Hazel.
"Come on lets get your brother", I said.
I walked to headmaster's office. She sat at her front desk. Two parents with their son. He had a black eye.
"What did he do this time?" I asked.
"Isn't it obvious your son hit mine", said his mother.
"Saizo, why did you hit him?" I asked.
"He deserved it", answered Saizo.
"And why is that?" I asked.
"He said Hazel was a freak and couldn't be my sister because we look different. I'm the only one who gets to make fun of her", said Saizo.
His dad would be proud of him.
"Good job sweet heart, but you just can't go around hitting people if you don't like what they have to say. You have to control your temper better", I said.
Saizo smiled proudly.
"How long is he suspended this time?" I asked.
"Three days", said the headmaster.
"How about ice cream for a treat you two?" I asked.
They both agreed.
"What flavor are you going to get?" I asked.
"Chocolate!" they both yelled.
I ordered two chocolate ice cream cones and pumpkin ice cream for myself. The day went by smoothly. Soon it was time for dinner. I heard a knock on the door from the kitchen.
"Saizo can you get that honey", I said.
"Okay",
He went running to the door. Eiji came walking into the kitchen. My face went hot with blush.
"Mommy why is your face all pink?" asked Hazel.
"Just a little hot honey", I said.
"I brought you the food you've craving and other groceries", said Eiji.
"You didn't have to do that", I said.
"I wanted to. I know you've been busy lately", said Eiji.
I started putting things away.
"Let me help you. You should be lifting anything in your condition", said Eiji.
"I highly doubt the lifting carton of eggs will hurt me or my child", I said.
"What are you making?" asked Eiji.
"Blueberry pancakes and cheesy scrabbled eggs", I said.
"Breakfast for dinner yummy", said Hazel.
"Why blueberry?" asked Eiji.
"Their favorite breakfast. There father's too", I said.
After the meal and story time both Hazel and Saizo were out. They were both huddled closely to my side. Hazel clutched Kisa to her chest and Saizo was sucking his thumb. I ran my fingers through their hair.
"You're a natural Snow", said Eiji.
"At what?" I asked.
"At being a mother. Look at how much comfort you bring them", said Eiji.
I blushed.
"Do you think you could help me put them to bed? I can't really lift them", I said.
He easily picked up both of them up.
"Daddy", said Saizo as he cuddled Eiji.
"He must be dreaming of his father", said Eiji.
"Must be", I said.
Eiji placed each of them into bed.
"Thank you for the help", I said.
I shut the doors to their rooms. I walked him to the front door.
"Your sleep won't be as peaceful as theirs", said Eiji.
"I wish it were", I said.
I wanted something from him. I looked up at him and hoped he would answer the question without having to be asked. He gently caressed my cheek.
"Ask don't be afraid to it will cause no harm to him", said Eiji.
"A kiss", I said.
He lifted my chin and I closed my eyes. I felt his warm breath against lips and then his soft lips. It was the kiss I craved.
"Thank you", I said.
"You don't have to thank me", said Eiji.
He left and I shut the door behind me. I slid down to the floor. I started crying. A spark of light was starting to relight in my heart. Love maybe? No, this can't be right. Why is my heart so willing to let him in?
"Mommy?"
I quickly wiped away my tears. It was Saizo.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He had wet his bed. The poor thing hadn't wet his bed for a while finally thought he didn't need pull ups, but this was a major set back. He clutched Teddy tightly in his hand.
"I had a bad dream", said Saizo.
He was crying. I walked over to him and kissed him gently on the forehead. When I stood up he reached his hands out to me.
"I'm sorry honey I can't pick you up. Come on lets get you cleaned up", I said.
I took his hand. I filled the tub with water and gave him a good bath hoping it would help him relax. I helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. He giggled when I tried off his hair. I gave him another kiss on the forehead.
"Stay here I'll get you some fresh clothes", I said.
"Okay", said Saizo.
I got him fresh clothes and put his bedding in the washing machine. I dressed him.
"Can I sleep with you mommy?" asked Saizo.
I took his hand and led him to my room. He jumped into my bed.
"Move over Saizo you have to make room for me" I said.
I got into bed with him and pull him close to me.
"Not so tight mommy", whined Saizo.
"Shh, your daddy loved it when I hugged him close", I said.
"Really?" asked Saizo.
"Yes, now go to sleep Saizo", I said.
He yawned and quickly fell asleep in my arms. I followed him. Both Saizo and I groaned when we heard my alarm clock go off. I threw it against the wall shattering it.
"Why do you have to wake me up so early on Saturday?" Saizo as pulled the covers over his head.
"I have work to do", I said.
He had already fallen back asleep. I gave him a kiss on the forehead. I showered and dressed. I opened cupboard and pulled out a random box of cereal. The box read Coca Puffs. One of my children's cereals. There was a knock at the door. I opened it. It was Betty my children's babysitter. I had no idea how she could manage two five years old and an infant. Sometime she even handled my nieces and plus my own children at the same time, which was truly a miracle.
"I'll take care of them good luck at your meeting", said Betty.
I glared at the dark gray clouds in the sky. The meetings went on for hours. When it was over there was hellish storm outside. My worries went to my children.
"They're with their aunts and cousins at your. They will be safe in your house there's no danger of them being affected by the flooding", said Eiji.
"I have to be with them", I said.
"There's no way I'm letting you out in this weather you could get hurt", said Eiji.
"I'm a very powerful woman who can handle herself", I said.
"But your pregnant do you really want to risk anything happening to your child?" asked Eiji.
"No", I said.
"Let's find ourselves something to eat", said Eiji.
We walked to kitchen. A strike of lighting knocked out the lights. He started lighting candles. Eiji made peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
"Sorry I can't show off my cooking talents in this darkness", said Eiji.
"I don't mind it actually soothes my cravings", I said.
I ate hungrily. After we both finished. We sat down in the couch in his office. Eiji wrapped a blanket around me and pulled me close. I leaned my head against his chest. His scent filled my nose. I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat. After a few hours Eiji stretched out.
"Let's get you to a proper bed", said Eiji.
He took my head and started leading me to the guest bedroom. I stopped in my tracks.
"I can't be alone. Please let me stay with you", I said.
Jeweled tears were running down my cheeks. There was so much pain in my heart. He's the only person I don't have to be strong in front of. I let all the pain show. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me close.
"You can stay with me", I said.
He took my hand and led me to his bedroom.
"I'll find you something to wear", said Eiji.
I sat down on the bed. He came back in his sleeping clothes, which was only a pair of flannel pants. My eyes scanned over his body. Eiji started lighting candles. The room went alight with dim romantic flickering light of the candles. They were scented. The smell of honey and lavender filled the air.
I felt a rush of attraction and lust. His body tone and covered in tattoos. He was always extremely self conscious about them. I took the shirt from his hand. I saw nothing wrong with changing in front of him. There was nothing attractive about a four-month pregnant woman. I felt his eyes on me. I quickly put on the shirt.
"So beautiful", said Eiji.
He lifted my chin and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck. It felt so nice. He pulled off my shirt and I gave no resistance. Eiji started kissing my neck. He pulled away from me. This feels so wonderful. He pulled away.
"We can stop right here Snow. I will never force you into making love", said Eiji.
I couldn't think straight.
"Do you want to continue?" asked Eiji.