Chapter 30
Merlin didn't know what had been stranger: Arthur asking the druids to join forces with Camelot, or the druids actually agreeing to do so. Neither of those were something Merlin could have foreseen, which was the reason why he, as everyone else in Camelot, was so eager to hear Arthur's speech.
Arthur was standing in the balcony, facing the crowd. Merlin was standing behind him, along with Gwen and some knights. Next to them stood the three druid leaders he and Arthur had met in the past, Lochru, Frigga and Iseldir. They were accompanied by Mordred, who Merlin thought looked guilty, or happy, or both. He had tried talking with Mordred telepathically to find out what was going on, but he hadn't answered him.
When the druid army arrived to Camelot many people freaked out, and most of them even thought they were being attacked once again. Thankfully, Arthur acted before anything got out of hand and assured his men that the druids were there to help them. Most of them only believed that when they saw the army stopping a few miles away from Camelot and their leaders coming to the gates to greet Arthur.
When Merlin saw the army's banners, he recalled the first time he had seen that symbol, the triskelion, tattooed in the chest of a young druid who he had once saved. A young druid who grew up and was now, very likely, one of the reasons why the druids were helping them. Merlin had asked Arthur about how did he managed that, but he only answered that he had written a letter to Mordred describing the situation and asking for his help. Seeing the results, Merlin thought that it must had been one hell of a letter...
In the streets beneath the balcony, knights, villagers and druids were all looking up expectantly, waiting for the king to speak. Arthur took a step forward and raised his hands, which brought silence to the Citadel.
"People of Camelot. My friends. I'm here today witnessing something just a few months ago I would have considered simply impossible, and yet, somehow, it feels right. You all know what is coming. You know about the army of Saxons set to conquer Camelot, and you know what they had done to our villages, but what you may not realize is that not only Camelot is in stake here. The whole of Albion hangs in the balance, including those who we once called enemies.
"The druids had come here today because they know this, because they know the Saxons don't fight for the magical people, but only for themselves. All they want is power, and they don't care how they acquire it." Arthur took a deep breath. "The druids decided to help us despite everything Camelot have put them through all these years... and that takes courage, and honor, and forgiveness... things that, I must confess, there was a time I considered someone with magic could never possess.
"It sounds harsh, intolerant even, but most of you know what I've been through. What we've been through. How many people we cared about have we lost because of people with magic? How many times have we been attacked by them? It's easy to hate magic after that. But... what if I told you that I owe my life to these druids behind me?" Arthur asked, pointing at where Mordred was standing. "That if wasn't for them I would be dead? What if I told you that a sorceress lifted a curse that other sorcerers had placed on my wife? I now know that things are far more complex that just saying 'magic is evil'. Magic is just a tool, and as such can be used for good or bad, depending on who's using it."
Merlin was perplexed. To hear those words coming out of Arthur's mouth... He pinched himself, just to check he wasn't dreaming. It turned out he wasn't, but now his arm hurt a bit.
"More than twenty years ago my father decreed that magic was outlawed and he conducted what is now called the Great Purge," Arthur continued. "I have to believe that he had his reasons. That he had seen the evil magic could do and he felt that it was the only way to protect his kingdom. However, let me perfectly clear about this: What he did was wrong. It's true that there are sorcerers who use their powers for evil, but what he did wasn't the answer. Not even close. I will never be able to do enough to fix the damage he caused, but I am at least going to try. That's why, as of today, I decree that the ban of magic is lifted from the kingdom of Camelot."
No one else had spoken his entire speech, but somehow the silence intensified when Arthur said those words. People thought they had heard wrong, or that maybe there was a catch there somewhere, or that the king had just gone mad.
If Merlin had been perplexed before now he was... there are no words to describe how he was. Arthur had just lifted the ban on magic! All he ever wanted was happening right in front of his eyes and he had no idea why.
"I know this isn't easy to accept. I know that you have doubts about what I'm saying, and I know that some of you doubt my words, but it's true," Arthur said, in a convincing tone. "There will be rules, of course. Using magic to hurt or cheat others will be punished, and some schools of magic, such as necromancy, will still be outlawed. However, I know very little of this, and that's why I will take one of you as an advisor on these matters. I'll have a sorcerer by my side to make sure that the rules are fair to everyone."
Merlin looked at Mordred who had just taken a small step forward, and that was when he understood the happy but guilty look; Arthur had chosen Mordred to be his advisor in magical matters. It would be a lie to say that Merlin had no problem with this. Since he first started with Arthur he always had imagined that he would be the one occupying a position such as this one. However, since Arthur didn't know the truth about his magic, it made sense for him to pick Mordred. For a second, Merlin thought about coming clean to Arthur right there and then so he could pick him instead, but he quickly realized how childish that thought was. In the end the ban on magic had been lifted, couldn't he just be happy for that?
"It's someone who I consider a friend, and who I owe my life," Arthur said. "Someone who I know is the best man for this job. He will now say a few words."
Merlin couldn't believe it. The best man for the job? He had lived in Camelot for years! He knew it in and out! What did Mordred know about it? And besides, Arthur had thanked the druid for saving his life. Mordred had saved Arthur once. Once! How many times had he saved Arthur? Hundredths! Thousands! Millions! Alright, maybe not millions, but there had been a lot.
Arthur walked away from the balcony and he positioned right next to him. Merlin looked at Mordred, who apparently had stage fright because he hadn't moved one bit. Also, why was he looking at him with that smile?
"By the way Merlin," said Arthur, leaning towards him. "I was talking about you."
Before Merlin could even thought about what Arthur had said, Arthur pushed him with enough strength for him to end up in balcony, just where Arthur was standing one minute ago. There wasn't a man or woman in Camelot who wasn't looking at him.
.
.
.
The first time Arthur heard the name Emrys was a year and a half ago, the last time Morgana attacked Camelot.
He was fighting through the castle along with Merlin, Gwen, Tristan and Isolde. They had entered the throne room expecting to find many enemies, but the only ones there were Heliod and Morgana. Still, her face showed that she didn't care about being outnumber. With her magic she didn't have to.
Arthur tried to talk to her, tried to make her come into her senses, and for a second, a brief second, he thought he had accomplish that. Then, that second passed.
"But alas, we were both wrong," Morgana said.
Arthur hated this, hated having to harm her, but what else could he do? What else was there for him to try? How many more innocent had to die before he mustered the courage to do what he had to? what his people needed him to?
"You can't blame me for my father's sins," Arthur said, knowing it wouldn't make a difference.
" It's a little late for that," Morgana replied. "You've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think."
"Nor are you," Arthur replied. He probably shouldn't have said that. He knew her well enough to know how much that would anger her, but why was he the one who had to watch what he said? He was angry too. Angry for everything she had done. Angry for putting him in that impossible position.
As Arthur had predicted, Morgana's face changed to hatred.
"I'm going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon," she said, in a spiteful tone. "Not even Emrys can save you now."
For a moment Arthur wondered who or what was an Emrys, but he knew he hadn't got much time before the rest of Heliod's soldiers got there. He drew his sword, ready for a epic battle against Morgana when the strangest thing happened... or better said, didn't happen.
Morgana had boasted how she was immune to swords and then she spoke words in the old tongue. Arthur braced himself to whatever was coming his way, but nothing happened. Arthur could see that Morgana was at least as confused as he was. She raised her hand, as Arthur had seen countless sorcerers do when they tried to kill him, and spoke the words once again, even louder. Still nothing.
While he was a little disappointed, Arthur was glad that he didn't have to kill his own sister, at least not right then. He decided he would imprison her until they decide what to do with her, after all this was over. Alas, in the end Morgana escaped once again. Without Morgana, the attack fell to pieces and Arthur managed to take Camelot back, but not without losses. Isolde, and many knights of Camelot lost their lives in the process. It was a victory, but a bittersweet one.
After everything had been done, every enemy inside Camelot captured or dead, every building secured, every injured man or woman attended to, after all of that, Arthur went to his room, sat on his bed, and spoke one word.
"Emrys..."
.
.
Apparently, Emrys was a sorcerer, and a very powerful one. Arthur had found his name in one of the books in the hidden section of Camelot's library. He had found that section by accident some time after his coronation, and while he had thought about destroying those books, he had finally decided that they might come in handy. It turned out he had been right.
The book talked about a prophecy. One involving the sorcerer called Emrys and another man which the prophecy referred as the 'Once and Future King'. Now, he didn't like to admit it, but there were some similarities between him and this 'Future King'. The prophecy talked about a young, but just, king who lived in a time when magic was outlawed. Of course, there were also things that didn't make any sense, like him working along this Emrys person for years or lifting the ban on magic. There was just no way he would ever lift the ban on magic, not after everything he had been through. Besides, there are no such thing as prophecies... Right?
.
.
A long time had passed and he hadn't made any noticeable progress on the Emrys matter. He hadn't been able to find anything more about him on the books and he couldn't afford anyone else to know about this so called prophecy, so he couldn't just ask around.
Sometimes, when he had nothing else to do, he humored the idea of Emrys being someone he already had met. However, the list of magical people he knew and hadn't just outright tried to kill him on sight was very short. There was Gaius, of course, but he had promised his father not to use magic, and Arthur knew that Gaius was a man of his word. Then, there was Dragoon the Great, who Arthur still couldn't decide if he had something to do with his father death or not. He was just too... goofy to actually be evil, and for some strange reason he didn't understand, Arthur wanted to trust him. Still, even if he had tried to help his father, there was no way he was Emrys. Please, God, don't let him be Emrys. His third and last option was the druid Mordred, but he hadn't seen him in many years, not since he helped smuggling him out of the city. That does look like something the 'Once and Future King' would do, doesn't it?
Still, there was also the matter of what to do with Emrys if he actually found him. He was a sorcerer, and so he was breaking the law. Even in the improbable scenario Emrys actually existed and he did use his magic to help Camelot, he would have to be punished somehow. Of course, Arthur wouldn't kill him, not after he had helped them, but he probably would have to at least exile him from Camelot. He still wasn't sure what he would do, it was all very hypothetical. The only reason why he was still even looking into this it was because Morgana had said Emrys name, but he had to accept the possibility that she might have been wrong, just seeing enemies where they were none. She had a knack for that.
The months went by and still there were no news. Nothing about Morgana. Nothing about Emrys. His other duties occupied his time and Arthur found himself thinking less and less about these matters, until one day he just stopped completely.
.
.
Arthur and Merlin were going on a quest to look for the perfect anniversary gift for Gwen, the Flower of Destiny. Some people find it odd for him to bring Merlin along in trips like these, but he and Merlin had been through so much together that it felt weird not doing so. He was the one he could trust above all others, no matter what. To him, he was almost like the brother he never had. Of course, there was no chance in hell he would ever tell Merlin any of these things, otherwise he would never hear the end of it.
They were moving through the forest, when Arthur felt a sting on his neck and fell asleep. The next thing he remembered was waking up in a strange camp, surrounded by druids. At first he thought it had been some kind of ambush, but then he recognized one of the druids. Mordred. Even if he had grown up, Arthur still managed to place him easily, and in that moment all the thoughts about Emrys came back to his head.
He decided that he would ask Mordred about this matter, but he wanted to do it in secret. While he trusted Merlin, Arthur didn't want for him to know about this prophecy. Merlin had suffered his fair share because of magic, and Arthur didn't want him to know that some prophecy said that one day he might be the one responsible for bringing magic back to the kingdom. Besides, all that prophecy stuff probably would end up being just lies.
.
.
He had tried to find some time to talk with Mordred alone, but that night almost all the druids had been looking his every move. The night had passed, and he and Merlin were now going to find the flower. The good news was that Mordred was going along, so he might yet have a chance to ask him.
While he couldn't ask him directly with Merlin there, Arthur asked Mordred about his life since he last have seen him, trying to find something that indicated he was Emrys. However, what Arthur learned was how hard the young druid's life had been. He knew that it wasn't easy to be a druid in Camelot, he didn't exactly understand why they just didn't go to another kingdom, but he never imagined it was that hard. It seemed unlikely that he was Emrys. Why would a druid ever help him? Still, the druids had saved his life just the day before, so... At least Mordred was happy now; it didn't make any better all he had been through, but it was something.
They eventually found the flower and took it, which triggered some kind of trap that made skeletons raise from the ground. While Arthur was fighting, he could see Mordred using magic to destroy the skeletons that were attacking him. He found it really weird seeing magic and not being in the receiving end of it. When everything seemed to have calmed down, another wave of skeletons appeared, and this time they were just too many for them to handle.
"Arthur," Mordred said the moment hundredths, if not thousands, of skeletons were moving towards them, "I have a plan, but I need you to raise your sword and close your eyes."
Arthur was torn. If he did as Mordred said, he would be, in a way, using magic himself, which he had promised himself never to do again after what happened with his father. However, if he didn't do what Mordred had said, they would very likely be skeleton food in no time. Alright, maybe it wasn't that hard of a choice after all. Arthur looked at Merlin who nodded in agreement, and then did as he had been told.
Well, almost... Closing his eyes shut when a horde of skeletons was coming towards him didn't feel like a very good idea, so he just squinted his eyes until his eyelids were practically next to each other, but he could still see the basic outline of things. To say that he didn't see coming what happened next, falls very, very short. He was expecting Mordred to cast some spell, but he wasn't the one who moved. Instead, Merlin positioned in front of him and raised his hand. Arthur was going to ask him what he was doing when he saw —thought he saw— a small flash of gold on his eyes... Merlin's eyes... a small flash of gold in Merlin's eyes... but that couldn't be... just couldn't.
"Arthur! Thrust the sword into the ground! Now!" Merlin yelled at him.
He was too confused not to follow Merlin's orders. He did as he had said and after a flash of light the skeletons were gone and everything had gone back to normal. Except nothing had... What had just happened? Had he imagined it?
Merlin and Mordred were joking about the place, so Arthur joined them. He couldn't act on what he had seen —thought he had seen— until he was sure. He tried to sound casual and he asked Mordred about the spell he supposedly had just used.
"Oh, the light… Yeah… It was… It was… a spell to banish the undead," Mordred said, sounding unconvinced.
Arthur noticed he was just making this up. Or maybe he was just nervous talking about magic with him? Or what if he wasn't allowed to explain those things to a non magical person?
"It seemed pretty powerful, where did you learn it?" Arthur asked, trying to get more information.
Mordred was starting to stutter when Merlin interceded. "Arthur, don't you think that we can talk about this later? It's getting late and it would be wise to get to the druid's camp before nightfall."
Arthur looked at him. "You are right, sorry, I was just curious; let's get going then." Later, he would think about this later.
.
.
Arthur spend the entire night in his tent, but he practically didn't sleep at all. What if he wasn't wrong? What if Merlin indeed had magic? It sounded ridiculous just to think about it. But he had seen him casting a spell. Right? Maybe it hadn't been like that, maybe it had all been part of Mordred's spell. Merlin was a manservant! There was no way he had magic. He cleaned poop out of his boots for God's sake! Why would a sorcerer do that!? And yet, he had seen what he had seen.
When he finally wake up, he found both of them talking. Merlin had said something that made Mordred laugh. All things aside, Arthur was happy those two worked out whatever was going between them; he had noticed some of the looks Merlin gave the druid, and they were scary. Arthur had tried to think a reason for that, but he hadn't been able to come up with anything. What if it had been because of something magic related? He shook his head. He didn't want to think about that.
When they were ready to leave the camp, Mordred warned them about Alvarr, who apparently was back and was getting ready to attack Camelot. One more enemy to deal with... Would this ever end? Or would he spend the rest of his life fighting against sorcerers who want him dead? Arthur thanked Mordred and started moving towards his home, with Merlin reaching him after a little while. His mind was now working on how they would prepare for Alvarr, and at the same time thanking his luck for having stumbled upon Mordred. But it wasn't just luck, most druids wouldn't have said anything, it was more than that.
"You know, Merlin," Arthur said, still trapped in his thoughts, "I think he would make a great knight."
"Who? Mordred?" Merlin asked, confused.
"Yes, Mordred, who else?"
"But… he has magic! Don't you have a problem with that?"
That was when Arthur remembered the other situation. "I… I don't know…" he said, thinking not just about Mordred. "What I do know is that we would be dead if it wasn't for him."
"A druid as a knight of Camelot… Now that would be an interesting sight."
"Well, if you stick around you may see it someday."
"Where would I go? We both know that the second I leave Camelot, the kingdom will fall, and I can't do that to the people."
Arthur let out a small laugh, but for a second he thought if there was any truth in those words.
"Good to know," he said, trying to conceal what was going on inside his mind. "I'll make sure to tell everyone so they can rest easy, but for now let's just go back to Camelot before Guinevere sends an army to look for us."
.
.
Arthur acted normal until they get to Camelot. And why wouldn't he? He was probably mistaken. There was no way he had seen what he thought he had. No way. With every passing minute he found another explanation of what he had seen: a sunray that bounced in a tear in Merlin's eye, something in the flowers that caused him to hallucinate, a small firefly that for some reason was flying around in the middle of the day, and many, many more other possibilities.
When they finally reached Camelot's gates, it turned out that Gwen had actually assembled a pretty large scout party that was leaving to look for them, which many of them would then call the easiest assignment of their lives. Arthur told them to go back and he set out to the castle. When they finally met with her, she gave Arthur a well earned scolding, and a better earned kiss. Arthur told Merlin to feed the horses and then take the rest of the day off and he set off to his room, with Gwen at his side.
Not a second after closing the door of their bedroom, he turned around and looked at Gwen.
"Gwen... I have to tell you something," he said, all serious.
She looked at him. Arthur didn't call her 'Gwen', not unless something was going on. "What is it?" she asked.
Arthur opened his mouth only to close it again. He started pacing around the room, thinking some way to talk to her about this.
"Arthur, what's wrong?" Gwen asked, now a bit more concerned.
"I... I don't know how to say this. I feel I'm going crazy," he said, with a sad smile.
Gwen moved towards him and grabbed him by the arm.
"Arthur, it's fine," she said, in a reassuring voice, "just tell me."
Arthur moved towards the bed and sat. Gwen sat next to him. He grabbed her hand and looked at her.
"I think... I think... I saw Merlin using magic," he said.
Gwen opened wide her eyes, which Arthur, not knowing what she already knew, completely misread. He let her go, stood up and started pacing one more time.
"I know it's impossible, I know it!" he exclaimed. " But still..." He went back to his bed, sat and grabbed his head with both hands. "Oh, God... I'm getting crazy, aren't I? Just like my father. Just like Morgana. Seeing enemies everywhere, imagining things..."
"Arthur, Merlin has magic," Gwen said.
"I know it's impossible! But I swear it's what I saw..."
"Arthur, you are not hearing me..."
"I'm seeing things! What can I do? Maybe I can ask Gaius if he has something to help me—"
"ARTHUR PENDRAGON LISTEN TO ME!" yelled Gwen, and this time Arthur did look at her. "Sorry about that," she said, clearing her throat and giving him a warm smile. "Arthur, listen... What you have seen is true. Merlin is a sorcerer, he has magic."
This time he did hear her, but he just sat there looking confused. Gwen nodded, as if reassuring him he had heard right.
"But... That would mean... Are you sure?" Arthur asked.
"He told me himself after saving my life by blasting away some thieves and healing my leg, so I'm pretty sure."
Arthur went speechless. "How long have you know?" he finally asked. "Why didn't you tell me!?"
"I only found out a few weeks ago, and he made me promise not to tell you," Gwen explained.
"But you are telling me now," Arthur pointed out.
"Well, you kind of found out on your own, I'm just... confirming it. Besides, I'm not too keen of having secrets from you."
"But I don't understand... Why is he helping us? What does he want?" Arthur asked.
"He doesn't want anything..." Gwen replied, with a hint of scolding. "He's our friend."
"And where did he learn?" Arthur kept asking. "Have Gaius been teaching him?"
"Actually, funny story, he was born with magic."
Arthur stood up the second she said those words.
"Oh, God, he's Emrys!" he exclaimed. Now, in normal circumstances he would have to make that connection sooner, like a lot sooner, but if thinking about Merlin using magic was hard for him, thinking about him being the most powerful sorcerer who would ever live was a bit... impossible.
Gwen didn't know about all the Emrys stuff yet, so she was just about to ask him about it when Arthur spoke again.
"Why didn't he tell me?" Arthur asked.
"I think he was afraid of how you would react."
"Afraid!? What did he think? That I was going to kill him?"
"Well... yes," Gwen said. "I mean, probably not today, but think if the first time you two met he would have come up to you and said 'Hello, I'm Merlin and I'm a sorcerer', I don't think that would have ended so well."
"I can't believe it," Arthur said, dropping back on the bed.
"It took me some time to accept it too, but the good news is that now you can tell him you know and you can talk about it," Gwen said, smiling.
"Tell him?" Arthur asked. "No... oh, no, no, no... Does he think he can lie to me for years and just get away with it? Hell no! He is going to pay for not telling me," he said, with an devilish grin. "I'm going to make him wash my clothes twice and make him polish all my armor... And I'm now realizing he probably uses his magic for that, so... I'm going to make him to those things somewhere I can watch him. Yes! And then he can clean the castle, and pick fruits and... "
At some point in Arthur's rambling, Gwen had just stopped hearing. She let out a sigh and shook her head. "Men..."
.
.
So that charade went along for months, Merlin trying to hide his magic from Arthur, and Arthur pretending he didn't know about Merlin, while at the same time he gave him an inhuman amount of tasks to do, probably impossible to accomplish for anyone without magic.
That kept on going until one day, Arthur woke up and found himself looking at himself. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was in Gwen's body while she was in his. It was all very strange. They decided that Gwen (who was in Arthur's body) should ask Merlin for help. To be honest, Arthur expected more from the most powerful sorcerer who would ever live, but Merlin had just made some jokes and gave some useless advice. Maybe he wasn't so powerful after all.
In the end it turned out that it was all because some enchanted coin that Gwaine had found, but before everything was over they swapped bodies again and he ended up in Merlin's body. The second he realized whose body he had, he freaked out. Did that mean that he had magic now? And what if he accidently used it? Also, why was the coin glowing? It would have probably been better if he hadn't gotten so worked up because he felt something surge inside him and suddenly the windows in the room exploded. Did Merlin have to control himself at all times to avoid stuff like that?
That night, Gwen told him about how Merlin had guided her to remove the curse, and how hard it had been for her to use magic without harming anyone, especially Merlin. That was when Arthur decided to cut the manservant some slack. Arthur wouldn't tell him he knew about him, he still hoped that Merlin came clean himself, but he wouldn't make his life impossible either. He would act as before, thinking of Merlin both as his friend and his very odd manservant. After all, he was exactly that.
.
.
From that point on, there were many situations where Merlin's alter ego appeared in Arthur's mind:
The same night of the body swapping, Morgana was both caught and rescued. Arthur pondered if Merlin had something to do with any of those things, but he didn't think so possible. Merlin had been all day occupied with the whole body swapping business, and he had no reason to rescue Morgana. Actually, thinking back he could remember some strange glares between those two after Morgana came back to Camelot. Had he known about her true self since then? And if that was the case, how many times had Merlin stopped Morgana from doing harm?
When he found out about Le Fey, Arthur made sure to mention her name to Merlin a few times. That would surely make him track her down, and if there was someone who could find her, it was Merlin. The idea behind all that was to have a way to communicate with her if it was needed, especially with Alvarr plotting who knew what. He would just have to speak in front of Merlin about which villages had sick or injured people in them and he would just pass it along to her. Also, if by any chance she and Merlin hit it off... well, that would be good for the manservant; Merlin looked grim lately.
The day Kara tried to kill him, Merlin persuade him to forgive her. It was true that she was manipulated into doing so, but it was still a hard choice to make. Or better said, an easy choice with hard consequences. Arthur still wasn't sure why Merlin was helping the son of a man who had tortured and killed thousands and thousands of his kind, but he knew one thing: he wasn't his father. Arthur let Kara go, secretly realizing he had already decided to do so from the moment he found out what was going on.
Even if he listened more to Merlin and treated him better, Gwen wasn't happy about how he was dealing with this. She still demanded him to tell Merlin that he knew about his secret. If Arthur wanted her to tell Merlin something magic related, she would just say no, and if he asked her something else about Merlin, she would tell him to ask Merlin himself. Arthur understood where that was coming from, but he wasn't ready for that talk with Merlin. Not yet. There was one specific question he was too afraid to know the answer to, one question that was in his mind since he first learned about Merlin's powers. Was he truly helping him because he was his friend? or was it because of the prophecy? Basically, what would Merlin do if the prophecy turned out to not be true?
He found out the answer to his questions a few weeks later...
.
.
Apparently some people called the Disir had judged him for his crimes against the old religion, or at least that was what some strange man had said. If that had been it, it would have been just another day in Camelot, but these Disir people had placed a curse on Gwen, which would end up killing her in less than a day.
According to Gaius, only the Disir could remove this curse. He left Merlin alone with Gwen just in case that was a lie, but it turned out it wasn't. He found himself with no other choice than to go to the Disir and hear their demands, and, as always, Merlin went along.
The Disir turned out to be three witches that supposedly spoke for The Triple Goddess. They demands were simple: he had to join the old religion, lift the ban on magic and follow whatever orders they give him. Basically, he had to become their personal slave. Hearing them, he found himself wondering what Merlin's thoughts on this matter were. Even when he was sure that Merlin cared for Gwen, the Disir were demanding him to do the exact thing that the prophecy supposedly said he would.
After the Disir had finished talking, Arthur rushed out of the cave. He felt more powerless than he had ever felt. Gwen was dying and it was his fault, and yet, giving into the Disir's demands was something he couldn't do. He was trapped. In his anger, he drew his sword and swung it against the ground, again and again. He simply had no idea what to do.
"We'll save her, we always do!" Merlin said.
Arthur stopped hitting the ground and looked at him. "And how will we do that Merlin!?" he asked. "I can't let Guinevere die, I won't, but I also can't let them extort me like that," he said, pointing towards the caves. "What will happen when the next sorcerer wants something more? And the next after that? All they'll have to do is kidnap her and I'll do everything they say. How am I supposed to protect her against something that can kill her from another kingdom?". Every idea that appeared in Arthur's mind fell short, every plan he came up with just wasn't good enough.
"There is one way..." Arthur continued, in a low voice. "I could just give into their demands, make sure they heal Guinevere, and then leave... just leave Camelot, maybe even Albion... but I can't. I can't leave my people alone like that, not when monsters like those are going to be in charge."
He took a deep breath, grabbed the sword and sheathed it; then he looked directly at Merlin.
"What would you do?" Arthur asked, in a low voice.
"Sorry, what?" Merlin asked back.
"What would you do if you were in my place!?" he asked, almost yelling.
"Are you asking me if you should give into their demands?" Merlin asked, shocked.
"Yes! You know Guinevere as well as I do and I know that you would die protecting her, so tell me, would you do what they've said!?"
Arthur had said those words, but what he was asking was another thing completely: Whose side are you?
For a while he saw the sorcerer not knowing what to say. At least he was torn about this, or was he just acting? could he trust him? what if he had something to do with what was going on? No, that's impossible, it's Merlin who we are talking about here, but what did he really know about Merlin after all? What if—
"No," Merlin said slowly, but firmly. "You can't give into their demands."
Arthur looked at Merlin all serious for a few seconds, but then smiled, realizing that the manservant could have never answered anything else. Of course he couldn't. He was his friend. He had always been his friend.
"What do we do then?" Arthur asked.
"I may have an idea..." Merlin said.
Merlin went looking for someone could supposedly heal Gwen, but he took so long that at one point Arthur was almost stupid enough to use the Cup of Life himself. He didn't know how, but he was somehow sure that he would be the one to pay the price for Gwen's life. Luckily, he didn't get to test that theory, because some old lady friend of Merlin blasted him across the room. After hitting the ground he looked up and for a second he saw Morgana, standing there with her hand stretch towards him, but then his vision cleared and he saw that this woman was much older than she was.
This woman cured Gwen, and not only that, but she used a spell that protected him and the rest when the Saxons attacked looking for the Cup. Well, at least that was what Merlin had told him afterwards; Arthur was almost sure Merlin himself also had something to do in saving him.
After what he had tried to do, Arthur felt that he couldn't be trusted with the Cup, so he gave it to Merlin to hide it far away, making up something about how no one would suspect a servant knows where it is and such. He got really nervous when Merlin didn't come back, and the worst part was that he had no idea where to look for him. He had been an idiot sending him alone with something as important as the Cup, what if he had been captured, or worse? He was supposed to be the most powerful sorcerer that would ever live, but Arthur still didn't know exactly what that meant.
He sent a few scouts looking for him, but they come back empty handed, as if Merlin had just disappeared, which, after everything Arthur had seen, he knew was an actual possibility. He went through two hellish days of wondering what had happened to him, only to find out through some soldier that Merlin had come back and was now resting on his bed. How did he dare to come back and not tell him about it?
The manservant told him that the Cup was safely hidden, but he lied about where he had been the rest of the time. Probably something magic related. He did tell him about Sarrum's death which turned out to be true, and Arthur wondered if he had crossed paths with the King of Amata, but he couldn't ask him more about it, not without revealing what he knew about him. Still, Merlin looked fine. Actually, he looked kind of happy. It was very suspicious. Arthur was getting a bit tired of not being able to have an honest talk with Merlin. Maybe they should have the magic talk one of this days... Maybe...
.
.
The following days Arthur was trying to come up with some way to tell Merlin he knew about him, but he couldn't just find the right time. He was too worried about the coming battle. Too worried about Camelot. He was pondering about all that, when he saw the pile of letters he was about to send to the other kingdoms, and an idea came to him. An idea he had been kicking around in his head for quite a while, but that only now he felt sure about it. An idea that could resolve both of his problems. He picked up the quill and started writing:
Mordred, I hope that this letter finds its way to you, because I'm afraid that both our fates could depend on it.
Let me be perfectly honest: The reason I write this words is because Camelot needs your help. I need your help. We are about to face an army many time the size of ours, and not only that, but an army which contains sorcerers in the hundredths. We are not prepared to fight that many people with magic, not matter how many other kingdoms come to our aid.
I need the druids' help, and yet I found myself wondering what right do I have to ask for it. For years this kingdom only brought your people pain and suffering, and while I hope that these past few years have been easier on you, I would be a fool to think that what happened in the past have been forgotten or that the druids can lead a good and comfortable life here in Camelot.
I now look back and realize how blind I was, how little I knew. I was raised in this rage, with my kingdom and family constantly being attacked by those with magic, and as such I came to the conclusion that all magic was evil, that it had to disappear. And yet, as they say, all children grow up. I eventually learned that things weren't so black and white as my father wanted me to believe.
The first time that I remember thinking like this was the day you came to Camelot. There you were, a druid, a sorcerer, everything I ever feared, and yet all I could see when I looked at you was a young boy. I would lie if I say that I didn't take some convincing, but in the end I decided that killing you was wrong, that I would help you escape. Do you have any idea how hard was for me to make that choice? It was acting against everything I knew, everything I had been taught. Please, don't think that I'm telling you this only to persuade you to help us, it's not about that. It's just that that moment was the first time when I actually acted on the idea that not everyone with magic was evil. And as the years pass, I realized more and more how true that was.
I'm not going to pretend that I acted fairly to your people after that. Camelot was still being attacked by those with magic and so we responded the only way we knew, which now I know resulted in the deaths of many people who never meant Camelot any harm, and who were only guilty of having magic. But how were we supposed to know this? We were afraid, facing something that we couldn't fully understand and that had the power to kill our most powerful warriors with just a few words.
I don't want you to forgive me for this. It was wrong, and it's something I'll have to live with the rest of my life, but I would like you to know that I did it for the same reason I'm now writing this letter: I want peace. I realize how ironic that must sound taking in account all the things I've done, but at the time I only did it to protect Camelot for any more attacks, to end this war.
A Camelot that lives in peace, that's my dream. That's all I ever fought for, and while I made many mistakes in the past trying to accomplish this, I want to believe that I'm wiser now, that I can do the things right this time, but I need the help of your people to get that chance.
All I can offer you is peace. Peace for you to practice your magic. Peace for both of our people to live among each other. I hope that you think about this, and that you decide to help us, but I won't blame you if you don't.
And one last thing, I know about Merlin.
Sincerely,
Arthur Pendragon, The Once and Future King
###
A/N: I hope you liked it!
Yep, that just happened.
So, the problem with Merlin having to reveal his magic to almost everyone is that I don't want to repeat the same formula again with each one of them, so I give you... the inverse reveal! (or whatever).
Now, I'm not a big fan of rewriting this past, but I actually had this planned for quite a while now. If this was an "all-at-once" book I would probably slightly rewrite some of the first chapters to fit better, but I think it turned out nice. Also, it's based on something that actually happened in the series! (the whole "Not even Emrys can save you now" thing).
Also, I know that it sucks that almost nothing happened in "real time" and I that left Merlin stuck in that balcony xD. I promise that next chapter will come back to the present, but this was needed to explain Arthur's point of view :p, and I really liked the letter to close the chapter (did you notice something strange in the signature?).
And once again, I hope you liked it!
Thanks Patiku, The Forrest of Fanfic, Howarand, JACarter, ForIHaveTakenOverTheWorld, NightsAnger, Meri Ley, mersan, Lady Flurryous and Guest for the reviews =D