Here's the new chapter! I'll remind you guys that I don't update really regularly because I have a lot to do for school. But I'll try to update within a month... hahaha. One thing I will promise is that I will finish this story ;). Btw, the timeline of this story does not follow from one chapter to another. For example, one chapter could be the story of a one month time period, but the next one could be events happening in one day, or a week. I hope you enjoy this chapter

ROY

Roy cursed out loud the moment he started waking up. His throat was dry, his body was cold and stiff, and his head was pounding fiercely with every heartbeat. Every movement sent a wave of pain through his brain, making him groan in despair. What did I do last night? He had woken up in his own room, alone, fully clothed, minus his jacket. Painstakingly, he got off his bed and walked to the door, kicking his jacket aside on the floor. Nothing seemed to be out of place as he made his way to the kitchen, nor was there any stranger he might have mistakenly brought home.

By the time he had finally gotten himself a big glass of water, his whole head felt like it was about to explode and his body felt like it was on the verge of crumbling. Next, he dragged himself to the bathroom, where he shuffled through his medicine cabinet to look for some pain killers. He quickly popped two in his mouth and drank deeply. When he looked up, he cringed at the person he saw in the mirror. He looked exhausted, with bag under his eyes, and his hair was greasy and all over the place. His clothes were wrinkled and reeked of sweat, smoke and strong mixed perfumes. He undressed himself clumsily and took a long shower, as long as his thumping head would allow him. The hot water helped alleviate a bit of his headache, but it was still there. After thoroughly washing himself and satisfied with the way he smelled, he dried himself up with a clean towel and wrapped it around his waist before going back to his room. He slipped on a pair of boxers and fell onto his bed, crawling under the sheets.

The ball was on a Saturday, so he had one more day before Monday, when he would have to start working like a maniac for another week. However, ever since he had become the Fuhrer, even on the weekends, he would find himself doing something work-related. It was officially his first day off since his inauguration and he was immensely grateful for it. He moaned in pleasure into his pillow and cuddled deeper into his cozy bed. I'm going to sleep all day today and no one's gonna stop me. Roy was absolutely positive no one would be in any shape to want to work on a Sunday, especially after a long night of partying. He was sure everyone would be resting and getting ready for Monday. Dreadful Monday. As much as his body needed the rest, Roy found it hard to fall asleep and wound up thinking about his current position and his life.

Being the Fuhrer of Amestris was not an easy task. Roy had never been as busy as he was now and it certainly was a challenge for him to try to keep up with everything. Who would've thought it possible for me to be more busy than I was in Ishbal. A few weeks ago, he was complaining about his jam-packed schedule in Ishbal, but now he didn't even have the time to complain about it to Hawkeye and the men, no less greeting them every day like he used to. Most of the time he found himself following Royce and Brandt around, going to his meetings, visiting places and important people. So much was happening around him at such a fast pace that he barely even had the time to take a breather.

However, Roy was an expert procrastinator and master at evading work. You had no choice but to be at a master level when there was the Hawk's eyes watching over you. As much as he enjoyed teasing Hawkeye, the thought of getting caught escaping work as a Fuhrer frightened him. Now that he had an image and reputation to keep up, there was no space for stupid blunders. Knowing this fact, he always kept a full schedule to deceive his subordinates, but knew which time slot was a fake meeting and which one was real. With this strategy, he was able to leave without suspicion and meet with Hawkeye's first teacher, Patrick Burton, to choose a gift for her. It took them at least two weeks to make a final decision, since they had other duties to attend to and could seldom meet in secret.

When Riza had finally passed by the range and met her new gun, he was inwardly jumping with joy when he heard how attached she was the moment she had laid her eyes upon it. Roy knew a gun was a personal item, especially to Riza Hawkeye, who was an expert in the field. That was why he sought out another expert, who also happened to know Riza well, to help him choose one that would suit her the best. Being the Fuhrer, he had no trouble getting it custom made and finding the money to pay for it. There was no way he could ever give her anything that could be equivalent to everything she has ever given him. Her time, her loyalty, her hard work, her entire life, were definitely not things he could casually compensate her for. Nevertheless, he felt obliged, at the very least, to try to give her something in return that could be useful and something that she truly liked.

Other than those free times he secretly inserted, the only times of the day that he could relax a little bit were during lunch, when they were travelling and at night in his own apartment. But even then, he used those rare moments to catch up on his sleep and had no time to think. Sometimes, he was thankful he didn't have the time to think about other things, because he knew his mind would always wander and end up on the same person every single time. Riza Hawkeye.

Roy sighed and groaned in frustration. For as long as he could remember, Roy had always liked Riza more than a friend, but he would never admit it to anyone, not even himself. But he knew. He knew deep down that he loved her, that he cherished her more than he should and that he needed her more than anyone in the world. Nevertheless, he couldn't say it. He couldn't even say the words in his head, because he knew it would lead to nothing and that would only make him more depressed. Riza saw him as her leader, as her commanding officer, as her good friend, hell, maybe as her best friend, but nothing more. She had never shown any more interest in him than that and there was no way in hell he was ever going to ruin their relationship by insinuating anything more with her.

He liked, no, loved everything about her. From her serious face at work, her crisp and clean uniform, her bright yellow hair, her reddish brown eyes, the way she walked, how cool she looks when she shoots, her annoyed look when he does something bad, all the way to the rare smiles she gives him when they're alone, even the icy glares she sends him after he wakes up from a nap. Riza had become part of his everyday life and he couldn't ever have imagined going through the past ten years without her by his side. Secretly, he thought of her as his other half, his precious Queen.

On the surface, however, he kept his feelings tucked deep inside and played his part perfectly. Ever since they were young, Roy could remember some times when he had been a father figure to her, a brother and a friend. That was all he had allowed himself to be. For her, he became what she needed the most, but never any farther than a friend. He had forbidden himself from crossing that thin line, out of fear or lack of courage, he did not know. All he knew was that she never gave him any hint of wanting anything more than their current friendship.

When he had hugged her on the day of his inauguration, her reaction was nothing more than a fond, friendly smile, the one she reserved only for him. Normally, any girl that he hugged would become beet red, but Riza had not even the slightest hint of pink. Either she really didn't think of him that way or she was really good at hiding her emotions, but that, he would never know.

Roy rolled onto his back and stared gloomily at the ceiling. What are you doing now Riza? When he had found out no one had asked her to the ball yet, he had rejoiced at the opportunity, but his moment of joy didn't last too long as he soon learned that she was going as head of security. He knew all too well what the older men were plotting, introducing him to their daughters and other young ladies of their family. It was all expected and he wanted to have Riza beside him for moral support but also because he wouldn't need to pay so much attention to the other ladies if she was beside him. He was sure she would have been distracting enough to avert his attention to her, although not on purpose. She already did that on a daily basis at work, dressed in her military uniform. He couldn't even imagine how he could contain himself if he ever saw her in a dress. In the end, he just wanted her as a date for one night, but it seemed that even as a Fuhrer, he still couldn't get her to be his date.

Because of her concern for his safety, he had no choice but to face those geezers by himself and all those annoying hypocrites yesterday night. The two girls at his table were so intent on getting his attention that they would have been practically at each other's throats if it hadn't been for him sitting between them. He could barely eat two bites of his supper before he would have to answer one of their never ending questions, not to mention the questions of the parents. Dancing was even worse. By the end of the night, his feet felt like they were about to fall off. It was only after he spied Riza escaping by the back that he stole a short break from all the people inside.

Even now, as he thought of her sleeping face, he couldn't help but smile to himself. I've never seen her with that expression. She was so cute. She had seemed really happy and peaceful, and he definitely wasn't going to disturb her, not when he had the rare chance to see her so content and carefree. But, obviously, that lasted only a short moment before she woke up by herself. Riza Hawkeye, the oh-so-disciplined soldier. It had only gotten better when she realized what she had just done and her face had flushed for the first time. Oh how he had wanted to just grab her face and kiss her then and there. But instead, he laughed and tease her some more, the way he always did.

It is your duty as the Fuhrer, she had said. It was true. Many people expected the impossible from him and he did his best to fulfill those expectations. He was, after all, the most powerful man in the country. But he was still human and prone to mistakes and selfish desires. If I could wish for one thing, I would wish for her. But I won't, I can't. He didn't want to put her in any difficult situations and ruin her chance of having a normal life with a normal family. If she became his wife, she would also become the nation's first lady and that would bring a lot of attention to her and their private life. The media, even his own generals, were putting pressure on him to find a partner. He was not getting any younger and he needed to put up an image. Being single made him look unstable and too young to bear the country's burdens according to the public. But no matter how many times and how long he thought about finding a suitable partner, in the end, he would always picture Riza Hawkeye beside him.

Roy slapped his forehead, shut his eyes and growled in frustration. He turned on his side, snuggled against his sheets and pillow and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Roy Mustang walked into the office ten minutes early on Monday. Since he had gotten a lot of sleep on Sunday, he had woken up by himself before his alarm clock and decided to come in early for once in his life. Roy raised his eyebrows in a pleasant surprise to see that he was the first one there. Ha! I came before Hawkeye! I can't wait to see the look on everyone's faces when they come, especially her. He snickered to himself and walked towards his adjoining office to get an early start on the day. It was a childish thing to be proud of, but for Roy Mustang, it was a feat.

One by one they all came walking in, some sluggishly, some full of energy. One thing for sure, the moment they saw him sitting in his chair, they all saluted and scrambled to their own desks. Brandt was the first one to arrive and immediately went to fetch the Fuhrer's paperwork. When Royce came in, he brewed some fresh coffee for him and offered some to everyone.

"I still have a headache!" Havoc complained loudly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Didn't you sleep yesterday? That's what I did all day, and eat of course," Breda said. The others nodded in agreement. Havoc slumped down on his desk.

A few seconds later, his head suddenly shot up, making Fuery spill some of his coffee on himself. Havoc looked toward Riza's desk and a look of mischief came upon his face.

"Hawkeye's not here yet," he snickered. "I bet she has a hangover too, if not, she'd definitely be here."

"Havoc, Hawkeye didn't drink that night. She was in charge of security," Falman stated smartly.

"Oh yeah," a look of realization washed up on his face and his excitement went away. "Then why isn't she here yet? She's never been late for work before. It's already five past eight."

"She has a day off today." Everyone, including Roy, turned their heads toward Brandt.

"How do you know?" Roy asked.

"She told me the other day. She said she wanted to take a day off to rest after the ball was over," Brandt explained slowly, afraid he would anger the Fuhrer. Roy was, after all, staring very intently at him.

"Why did she tell you and not me?" Roy demanded.

"Because you weren't there, sir, and at that time everyone had already left for the day. I just happened to pass by the office to take my things and I saw her." Brandt's reply came out like a squeal.

It was true that Roy hadn't met her very often for the past two weeks, and when they did, they barely had the time to talk properly. "Alright. Thanks Brandt, at least we know she's alright."

Roy could already see the difference in workload after the ball had past. There were less meetings and places to go, but the paperwork was still about the same. That meant he could stay in the office longer, which also meant that he would be able to see more of Hawkeye. It's a good thing she took a day off. She really needs to rest properly.

The day went by excruciatingly slow and Roy found it hard to focus on his paperwork. The other men seemed to agree with him, since their workload wasn't going down very fast. He was relieved to know that his day ended with a meeting.

The next day, Roy came in to work on time, expecting to be greeted by his Lieutenant Colonel, but instead, he was greeted by all the other men. Hawkeye was no where in sight. Maybe she went to get the paperwork. He sat down in his chair and was sorting out some things on his desk when Havoc casually sauntered in.

"What is it Havoc?" Roy glanced at him annoyingly.

"Hawkeye didn't come yet," Havoc announced with an amused look.

"She's not here yet?" he asked with a serious face. It was abnormal for her to be late. Normally, she would notify someone if she had to take a sudden leave of absence or if she would be late, which almost never happened in the first place. "This is not funny Havoc. It might be something serious."

"It might or it might not be, sir. It's Hawkeye after all. I'm sure she has her reasons. I bet she'll be here any minute now, running into the office. Now, that would be a sight to see."

Roy showed his disagreement with a stern frown. "I'm going to give her a call later if she still hasn't come."

The minutes and the hours went by, but there was still no sign of Hawkeye. Roy stared at the clock in frustration. He wasn't mad at her, only concerned. He didn't like being kept in the dark, especially when it came to her. It's almost noon. What is she doing? Maybe she's sick. Roy picked up his phone and dialed her number. It rang once, twice, three times. Why isn't she picking up? After six rings, he gave up and put the phone down.

For the rest of the day, Roy had trouble concentrating on his work and was constantly fidgeting. He could sense that the others were also aware of her absence and it affected them in one way or another. They would ask each other if one of them had any news from her from time to time even if they had all been in the same room all day. Roy called her another three times in the afternoon, but she never picked up her phone.

"Maybe she's sick and can't pick up the phone," Fuery suggested, hoping it would alleviate the Fuhrer's concern. However, it only made it worse and Roy glared at him.

"So sick that she can't answer the phone? Then she needs to go to the hospital! Who knows what she's doing or how she is right now. She might need help for all we know and we've done nothing about it all day."

"Calm down Fuhrer. I don't think she's sick. She looked fine to me the night of the ball. You know Hawkeye, she's the only one that never gets sick throughout the year. She's the toughest one out of all of us," Havoc reassured him.

"Yeah, I don't think it's anything serious. Maybe she wanted to go somewhere to relax yesterday and decided to stay there another day and forgot to tell us," Breda added.

"Forgot to tell us? Now that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. We're talking about Hawkeye here. She wouldn't just casually miss a day of work or forget to notify me for an extra day of rest." Roy was fuming and taking it out on them unintentionally. When he saw them cower at his raised voice, he felt guilty.

"I'm sorry for the sudden outburst. Maybe I am over-thinking things. Hawkeye's human too and she's also prone to mistakes. Maybe you guys are right. We'll wait till tomorrow to see if she'll come in. If not... then we'll look for her," Roy said calmly.

The next day, Roy came in early. Not here. He sat down at his desk, left his two doors wide open and stared at the doors of the adjacent room, waiting for her to come. Fuery was the first one to enter, early as well.

"Ah, good morning, sir," he glanced nervously at Riza's desk and added in a timid voice, "I don't think she'll be coming back any time soon, sir." That got Roy's full attention.

"Why do you say that Fuery? Have you heard from her?"

"Well, not directly. But this morning when I was exiting my apartment, Hayate was tied to the front of my door with a message tucked into his collar." Roy sprang up on his feet.

"What did she say? Do you have it with you?" Fuery nodded and took out a piece of paper from his pocket. Roy took the paper and read it.

Fuery,

Please take care of Hayate for me. I'll be away for some time and I can't take him with me.

Thank you,

Riza Hawkeye

P.S.: I'll pay you back for everything when I return.

Roy's eyes bore into the paper and he had to reread it three times to absorb everything. When he finished, he turned the paper over a few times, hoping to find more on the back, but it was left blank. He looked back to Fuery, who looked just as distraught as him. The letter was authentic and hand-written by her. Roy could recognize her elegant cursive handwriting anywhere.

"That's it? She just left you Black Hayate with a note and left?" Roy asked with disbelief. Fuery nodded once.

Roy slumped down on his chair and threw the piece of paper on his desk. He frowned at it and tried to ascertain what had just happened. After a few seconds of silence he spoke again.

"I can't believe she just did that. Why did she leave? And where did she go? This is so unlike her." Fuery chose not to answer, knowing Roy was probably just talking to himself.

They both silently went back to work, but it proved to be more of a challenge than anything else. When Brandt and Royce arrived and reported to the Fuhrer, they gulped at the ominous vibe coming from him. Roy was definitely not in a good mood and he was glad no one inquired about it. His two assistants brought him his coffee and paperwork before leaving him alone to work. Behind his closed doors, he knew Fuery was busy explaining everything to the others.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Why didn't she pick up yesterday? If she left Hayate in front of Fuery's door early this morning, it would mean that she was still there yesterday. But why didn't she pick up the phone all day yesterday? Maybe she deliberately ignored it, knowing it was probably him or one of the other men.

Roy glared at his paperwork. Normally, he would always understand her. He could read her feelings and emotions pretty well and could, most of the time, predict what she would do next. However, this leave really took him by surprise and he felt left behind. She didn't tell me anything. No heads up, nothing. Hell, he didn't even know why she left, if she was angry at him, if she was too tired of her work or any other reason.

He snatched the piece of paper she had written on from his desk and stared at it again. I'll be away for some time. He grunted with annoyance. So much for information.

Roy did his best at work for the rest of the week. He always came to work on time, got his paperwork done on time, went to all his meetings and was the ideal Fuhrer. On the outside, it seemed like nothing had changed for him. He smirked to the ladies, smiled and talked idly with his generals, showed authority and charisma in meetings and presented the perfect image for the country. However, as the days passed by, he could feel himself becoming more and more sad, anxious, depressed and weary. He knew they were all connected to Hawkeye's disappearance and he was trying to keep these feelings at bay and to control them. It wasn't normal for the Fuhrer to be this upset over a subordinate who was away and he certainly was not about to show the whole world this weakness.

When the weekend finally came, he decided to go see her apartment on his own. Being the Fuhrer, he had guards around him around the clock. He was never left alone, except in his home and when he dismissed them. This time, he took his personal car and drove by himself to her apartment. It was late afternoon and the streets were quiet in her area. He didn't want to be recognized by anyone, especially in front of his aide's home, who happened to be a woman. It would definitely lead to a huge scandal, so he didn't want to take a chance. He was dressed in civilian clothes, with a hat that covered his face when he looked down and a trench coat.

He looked around one more time to make sure no one was around before he stepped out and walked briskly to the entrance of the apartment building. Crap! I don't have keys. There were other doors in the inside that were locked, so only the residents of the building could go in. He looked to the side and saw the list of names of every resident, with a doorbell and the room number beside it. He spotted Riza's name and pressed the button. He waited a few seconds, then pressed it again. He could feel his heartbeat quickening and cold sweat on his palm. What if she's there? I've never come to her place like this before. What would I say? In the end, no one answered. He decided to ring a random person's doorbell and hoped that person was in.

"Hello?" asked a voice.

"Hi, I forgot my keys inside, would you mind opening the door for me please?" Roy tried.

Without another word, the door buzzed and unlocked. He took the stairs and went up to the third floor. 316. He looked at each door's number and made his way toward Riza's door. 316. When he found it, he stood in front of the door, debating in his head whether he should knock or not. I'm already here, might as well knock and what'll happen will happen. So he knocked and waited.

A few seconds passed by in silence, but for him it felt like hours. His ears were focusing on any noise that might come from behind the doors, but he was distracted by the heartbeats that were drumming in his ears. After a few more tries, he concluded that she was truly gone. Roy was determined to get as much information as he could, so he descended to the ground floor and knocked on the door of the landlord. An old stumpy man answered the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?" he asked in a not-so-polite tone. Thankfully, he wasn't showing any sign of recognizing Roy.

"Hi, I'm a friend of miss Hawkeye on the third floor and I haven't been able to reach her for the past few days. I was just concerned about her and was wondering if you knew anything about it."

"Hawkeye?" the man rubbed his chin and was thinking deeply. "Third floor... Hawkeye... Oh yes! Miss Riza Hawkeye, she told me she was going to be away for a while and not to worry about it. She already sent me the money for the next few months' rent and she said she'd continue to pay for her apartment until she came back."

Roy's mouth was agape. Did she plan all this? "When did she tell you this, sir?"

"Hmm, maybe a few days ago. She called me and told me all of this," he said.

She called him? She couldn't even bother to give me a call? Roy was getting more and more confused and irritated. I feel like I don't know her like I think I do. He thanked the man before limping back to his car with heavy steps. He slumped into his car seat and stared into empty space. She left without a word.

He walked in to work with a solemn face on Monday, ten minutes late, and found his team already present.

"Good morning everyone." He smiled at them, but his eyes betrayed his emotions. They knew he wasn't actually cheerful and they offered him a sympathetic smile. Hawkeye's desk was still empty. He decided to ignore it and walked past it to his private office. As he was opening the door, Brandt interrupted him.

"Umm, sir? I, well, I just remembered a few things from the night of the ball," Brandt said hesitatingly.

"Spit it out Brandt." Roy was not in the mood for any dilly-dally. He just wanted to get the day started and hopefully, distract himself enough to forget about Riza.

"When I was thinking back and trying to find a reason why the Lieutenant Colonel would leave, I remembered what she told me that night when she came to see us at bar 71," he looked around the room to see everyone staring at him. "She told me she was leaving... after everything we said. I mean, what Havoc, Breda, and... and you said, sir."

Suddenly, there was a loud clatter in the middle of the room. All the men's attention fell on Havoc, who had shot up from his chair, making it slam down on the floor. The look on his face showed disbelief and pain. What's going on?

"Are you sure? Are you sure it really happened? I- I thought I dreamed that. Oh god! I never meant to say those things to her. I thought it was some crazy dream! Oh no. Oh no." Havoc had his hands in his hair, pulling on them.

"Havoc!" Roy roared. He was angry and confused. He had no notion of what was going on and he couldn't recall anything from that night. When Roy got his attention, he said, "Tell me what happened, now."

Havoc seemed to hesitate and to debate within himself whether to speak or not, so Roy called his name harshly to urge him on.

"Well, like Brandt said, she came to see us at the hostess bar and I think she was trying to get us home. But... we didn't really listen. We sort of all ignored her and spoke to her... unpleasantly." Roy could see how Havoc was struggling with the story and how guilty and uncomfortable he felt. "I told her she didn't need to be there and that it was a man's place, and how we had to wait for a chance for her to leave us so we could go there. I also said that we didn't need her as a babysitter or a mom."

Havoc took a break to look at everyone and grimaced before he continued in a quieter voice, "I blamed her for not letting us have any fun. Then she got angry, but Breda told her to leave." Roy saw Breda limp in his chair from the corner of his eyes. "When she turned to you, sir, you also agreed with me. You said we didn't need her to tell us what to do. Then... you went back to flirt with the girls, and she left. I remember almost everything from that night, but in the beginning I thought it was a dream. I mean, I would never ever say anything like that to her. I love her like a sister! Oh god, what have I done." Havoc picked up his chair, slumped down on it and and buried his head in his hands.

Roy stood motionless, with a tense, expressionless face. I don't believe this. How come I don't remember any of this? "Does anybody else remember about this?"

"I don't! I don't remember anything! Maybe it really was a dream," Falman cried out.

"Well, that night you were already passed out before she even arrived. That's why you don't remember anything," Brandt explained.

"I didn't pass out, but I don't remember any of that either!" Fuery squeaked out.

"I think you were mumbling to yourself or mumbling about crazy things. I don't think you were very aware of what was going on. It was the same thing with Royce. But Breda... I don't know. You seemed to be part of the conversation."

Breda was slumped deeply in his chair, sandwich forgotten on the table, looking down with a dejected face. "I always forget everything when I get really drunk. Sorry, I can't help."

Brandt turned back and looked at Roy with pity. "Sir, I'm sorry, but I wasn't sure if that was the reason, so I wanted to ask everyone about it. And-" Roy put a hand up for him to stop and walked into his office, closing the door behind him.

He sat down in his black leather chair behind his desk and stared into emptiness. His face showed no emotions. He sat like that for a few minutes, then, slowly clenched his jaw and fist. He slammed his right fist down on his big wooden desk and let out a cry of rage. He breathed hard and hung his head with his eyes closed. He couldn't remember doing or saying any of the things Havoc had said, but he remembered a flash of Riza's face. The one she showed right before she left. I hurt her. He could see it in his mind, how hurt she was behind the mask she was putting up, the emotionless face she reserved for moments when she wanted to hide her feelings. It was the face he wished he never had to see.

Roy buried his face in the palm of his hands and moaned in frustration. I screwed up. Now he would be haunted by the look on Riza Hawkeye's face.

A.N.: How was it guys? Getting interesting? Confused? Lol, so was Roy. It takes me time to write each chapter because I want to make them good and I have to make sure to add all the necessary details that will develop in the other chapters and link to things. You'll see, it's a web of things. I've never written like this before so I'm experimenting. Sorry if it sucks for some of you. I hope you'll continue to read it and don't forget to review!

D