RIZA
"Where have you been all afternoon?" a gruff voice greeted her the moment she stepped into the room.
"I was out looking for a job," Riza answered. She removed her boots and coat before joining the old man in the middle of the room. A small low table was set out in front of him with newspaper strewn all over it. Riza took a seat on the floor across from him.
"And did you find anything?" he asked without looking up from the article he was reading.
"No," Riza said dejectedly. "I'm sorry John. I'll find one tomorrow."
"I told you not to worry about it little girl," John scolded her. "I was the one who chose to let you stay here. I'm not asking for anything in return."
"I know. I just don't feel comfortable staying here for free."
"You're already cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. That's more than enough. Fine, find a job but save up that money to start a new life. This is no place for a young girl like you." He grumbled and shifted before going back to his paper.
Riza couldn't help but smile a bit. She'd never had someone fret over her this way and it was certainly a new feeling to her. She was used to an almost cold and uninterested behavior. However, unlike her relationship with her father, she could tell that John cared about her, even if he pretended not to.
If it weren't for him, she would've probably already been frozen out on the streets by now. In the beginning, she had tried to sleep under bridges or any indoor or underground passages, but she had soon found out that those places already belonged to other people who had been there for much longer than her. Not wanting to cause any trouble or to attract unnecessary attention, she chose to avoid those places and had set out to find some shelters for homeless people. However, getting a bed for a night was fierce competition. People were lining up three hours before the opening of the shelters to try to get a place to sleep for the night. Places were very limited everywhere.
In the end, she had given up trying to find shelters for the night after three days and had opted with sleeping in dark alleys, hidden behind abandoned trash cans or boxes. It wasn't cold enough to make her die from hypothermia, but it was still cold enough to make all her body stiff and ache in the morning. She slept the least as possible during the night and slept a bit more during the day. Everyday was a struggle to find food and a quiet place to rest, but it was manageable. Luckily for her, soup kitchens were quite frequent during the cold times so she could at least get one meal a day.
On one especially cold day, she had been trying to sleep in an alley beside broken crates when she heard some shuffling and noises of someone or something rummaging through trash. She tensed, held her breath in and clutched her belongings close to her chest. Slowly, she took a peak and saw an old man sorting through the trash. She had seen fights breaking out between other people before and she had no intention of provoking anyone. You could never be sure of their mental stability either, so she stayed quiet and watched him with sharp eyes.
She had been staring at him for almost five minutes and the twisted position she was in was starting to make her uncomfortable. Slowly, she tried to shift her body to get out of the twist, unfortunately, the moment she removed her weight from the crate she had been leaning on, it creaked. Her eyes shot out and she froze. She could tell that the man had stopped moving too since the alley fell into a complete silence. Riza cursed inwardly. Nobody moved for a while. Riza was starting to feel the adrenaline pumping in her blood. If he comes over... She pulled out an old knife from her coat pocket ever so slowly. It wasn't that sharp anymore but could still be a lethal weapon in the hands of the right person. Riza could certainly, and easily, hurt someone with it, but she just hoped that the sight of it would scare anyone off.
"Who's there?" the man had finally said out loud. Riza could feel her military training kicking back in. She remembered most of the things she had learned in the academy. Her brain was running wild trying to access the situation and to choose the best course of action. "Come out, I won't hurt you. I'm just an old man going through garbage."
She heard him sigh and wait. Finally, she pushed herself out from her hiding spot, one hand clutching her bag, one hand in her coat pocket holding the knife. She walked toward him, staying close to the opposite wall. She stopped two meters away from him and stared warily, ready to defend herself.
"What are you doing out here in the cold lad?" the man asked her. Lad? She had forgotten that she still had her hood on and the dimness was making it difficult to see.
"I have no other place to go," Riza replied in a low voice. Her voice cracked a bit from the lack of usage. She realized that she hadn't spoken to anyone in the past two days.
"Hmm, don't you have parents to go back home to? You shouldn't stay out here just to spite them." Does he think I'm a teenager?
"No, my parents are dead."
They fell into a silence while they looked at each other. She studied his worn face, with the deep lines reflecting his age, the tanned skin and the unshaved beard. The little bit of hair coming out from under his hat was grey, streaked with more white than black or brown. His clothes were old and tattered and he had many layers on to keep him warm.
"Do you need a place to stay lad?" he broke the silence. Riza looked at him with surprise. "It's not much, but you can stay at my place."
Riza didn't know what to reply. Her mouth stayed open, not knowing what to say.
"What are you going to do? Go back to your corner when I leave? It's cold tonight. You might freeze to death out here. Just come stay for the night then. You can choose to leave tomorrow if you'd like." His look was hard and unyielding.
Riza wanted to chuckle but held it in. How can this poor man care about someone else when he's in a similar situation? She didn't say anything, just nodded her head in agreement and followed him. She knew she shouldn't be following strangers, but she was cold and yearned for a warm place to sleep. He led her through the streets, avoiding the ones who were more dangerous and raucous. They came to a poor part of town and stopped in front of a wooden door. The man took a key out from his pocket and unlocked the door. He walked in and pulled a cord in the middle of the room, lighting it up from a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.
"Well? Come on in." He waived to her and she entered, closing the door behind her. "Lock the door." She did as she was told.
It was a small simple room, with an adjacent bathroom in a corner. The kitchen consisted of a small portable stove and a small sink. He had a single pot and pan lying beside the tiny stove and a few cups, plates and utensils. She gingerly removed her boots while the old man was busy trying to build a fire in his small fireplace.
"Take a seat lad. Warm yourself up." She sat in the middle of the room and waited for him to turn around.
When he did, she saw him jump slightly and look at her with a frown. He sighed before getting up to boil some water.
"Why didn't you tell me you were a girl?" he asked with his back still turned to her.
Riza didn't know why she was getting nervous, but she was. Are you scared he's going to kick you out now? "I-" she started, but didn't know what excuse to make up. She didn't even know herself why she never mentioned it.
"Never mind that. It's even better that you're not out there alone little girl. It can get dangerous."
"I know. I try to avoid it."
"Still. It's no place for a girl like you."
"I'm twenty nine," she stated almost defensively.
"Makes no difference. Still a little girl." Riza's head jerked back slightly with a frown. She'd never been called little girl before, and having this man employing it over and over confused her.
He walked back to her in the middle of the room and pulled out a little table. He brought two steaming cups and laid one in front of her.
"Tea?"
"Yes, thank you." She was grateful for the warmth, but had also noticed how he had made her one before he had even asked her.
"Sorry, I've got no milk or sugar."
"It's alright. I like my tea like this." She lifted it up and inhaled the nice odour. She couldn't remember the last time she had had some, but she loved tea and was happy to be drinking some.
"You haven't been on the streets long, have you?" Riza raised her eyebrows over the rim of the cup and met his inquisitive gaze.
"You can tell?"
"Of course. I've been here for many years. I know almost everyone on the streets. You might not know it, but we form our own community and we help each other out. There are some newcomers sometimes and some passerby, but most of them are permanent."
"How come you have a place to stay?"
"I stayed in this place for a long time and became friends with the landlord. When I lost everything, he let me stay here for a very cheap price. If not, I'd be out there too." He took a sip from his cup before setting it down. "So why are you out on the streets? It's very uncommon to see a young healthy girl like you here."
Riza hesitated and looked down at her cup. I can't get him involved in this. Before she could make up something to say, he spoke again.
"Everyone has their story little girl. If you don't want to tell me about it, then you don't have to. I just hope you can move on from this phase in life. You shouldn't live like me or the other poor folks."
They resumed drinking in silence. Riza was thinking in her head about what she could tell him, but she didn't know where to start.
"Actually, I lost a part of my memory." This time, the old man looked up with surprise. "I don't really know what happened for me to end up this way."
Seeing that the old man was still quiet, she continued. "I just came out of the hospital a few days ago with no money and no one to go to. I still haven't figured out what to do."
"Have you tried finding out about yourself? If you go to the police station and explain your situation, especially since you have the proof from the hospital, I'm sure they can help you."
"No, I can't. It's a little complicated and I just can't. Nobody can know that I'm here."
"I see," he said and thought about it. "Nobody will then." Riza was grateful that he didn't ask anymore questions. He probably had his own share of secrets and knew a lot of people with different stories.
When they finished their tea and cleaned up, he took out blankets and pillows from a small closet.
"What's your name little girl?" he asked as he handed her a pillow and a large blanket.
"Riza," she said simply.
"I'm John." Without another word they settled themselves on opposite sides of the room and laid down with their coats on under the blankets. "Goodnight," he mumbled.
"Goodnight John," Riza answered back in a soft voice. In the pitch black room, she waited until she was sure he was asleep before allowing herself to fall asleep. It came almost instantly, for she was exhausted and it had been a few days since she had a real place to sleep at.
Riza washed herself in the morning with her bucket of hot water. They had a shower in the bathroom, but it was too expensive to actually use it. Instead, they boiled water and mixed it with more relatively warm water to wash themselves. She sat on a stool on the shower floor and massaged her scalp with shampoo. She was glad she could clean herself regularly and wash all her clothes. I have to find a job today. She bent her head down and rinsed her hair with the rest of the water.
When she came out of the bathroom, John was preparing to go out.
"You're going out already?" It was only seven in the morning and still chilly outside.
"Of course, any later and the morning trash will all have been looked through already. If I want to collect as most recyclable goods as I can, I have to go now."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Riza asked quickly, heading to her corner and getting her coat.
"No! Your hair is still wet and you're not ready to go out there. It's cold. Dry yourself up properly before heading out. I've been doing this for years, you don't have to worry about me."
Riza backed down, having enough experience to know that this man was much too stubborn. She nodded and he went out. Riza quickly dried her hair as best as she could with her towel before sitting down and combing it.
It has been three days since the night he had found her and she was getting more impatient trying to find a job. She knew she couldn't get a really good job, but there were plenty of places that paid in cash and often needed temporary workers. Most of them were laborious, but she didn't have the luxury to be picky. She didn't like letting John going out there in the cold picking through trash, but no matter what she said, he wouldn't listen. He collected cans, bottles and other recyclable materials to trade in for some cash, which consisted of a major part of his income. He had also mentioned that he was receiving some kind of aide from welfare, but it was very little and not enough to sustain himself.
Not wanting to wait any longer, she tied her hair in a low ponytail and put her coat on. She pulled her hood on tight before going out and locking the door. The day before, someone had told her about a restaurant that was somehow always missing employees and were always looking for last minute workers. She walked down the streets, following the directions she had memorized before. She ended up in front of a restaurant named Marc's. I guess the owner is Marc. There was a help wanted sign on the front of the door.
She went in and saw a few people drinking coffee or eating breakfast. A woman walked up to her with a smile.
"Hi, you can take a seat anywhere you'd like."
"Actually, I'm looking for a job and someone told me you were looking for people."
"Oh! Really? That's great, we really need someone now. Are you able to work right away?"
Riza blinked in surprise. "Uh, yes."
"Great, please come with me. It's actually my husband that needs the most help. You'll have to meet him first." She led her to the kitchen in the back, where one man was working all by himself. He was already covered with a thin layer of sweat and was doing multiple things at the same time.
"Honey! There's a young lady who needs a job! She can work right now if you need her to." The woman said to the man behind the counter.
He looked up briefly, gave Riza a quick glance up and down, before looking back down to the stove.
"Good! I'm Marc, the owner and chef. That's my wife Clare." Marc smiled and so did Clare.
"I'm Riza, nice to meet you."
Clare showed her where to leave her coat and gave her an apron, before she rushed back out with two plates. Marc showed her around the kitchen quickly, before telling her to do prep work. Luckily, she had been cooking for as long as she remembered, so she was not awkward in the kitchen. She worked fast and efficiently, which startled Marc and made him praise her.
Near eleven, he handed her a plate with two eggs and some toast.
"Here, eat up. If you have nothing to do, can you work the lunch shift too?"
Riza nodded, took the plate and ate eagerly. She had only had tea that morning and her stomach was growling violently, but she hadn't complained. She was so quick in prepping the ingredients that Marc assigned her to keep an eye on the frying pan to prevent anything from burning. It was hot in the kitchen, but she enjoyed being able to do something. The hours passed by very fast and by three in the afternoon, they finally stopped and took a break.
"I'm very happy with the effort you put into your work Riza," Marc commented as she sat down beside Riza and handed her a glass of water.
"Thank you," she replied quietly.
Clare walked into the back with a wide smile on her face and clasped her hand in delight. "You two form a brilliant team! I've never seen the food going out so fast and at such a steady pace. It was our best service ever! The customers were very satisfied."
"So Riza. Want a steady job? I'll hire you." Marc said, glancing sideways at her with raised eyebrows.
"I would greatly appreciate it."
"Our business is a bit unstable right now so I can't compete with the salary of other places. I can only offer you nine fifty an hour."
"That's alright. I accept it, but can I accept payment in cash?" The couple hesitated a bit before agreeing.
"There's another guy also working here, but he only works three shifts during the week, so I'll need you to work on the other days," Marc said.
Since there was another hour before preparing for dinner service, Riza decided to go back home to see if John had come back. The restaurant was only an eight minute walk away. She went inside to find John sitting down by the table and sipping on some tea. He looked at her with curiosity as she came in.
"I suppose you found a job," he said.
"How did you know?"
"You smell like food. Did you find a job in a kitchen?" he chuckled at the look on her face.
"Yes, I did." She came to sit in front of him. "It's a good job. The owners, Marc and Clare, are really nice."
"That's good. Would you like some tea?" She declined the offer.
"I'm working for dinner too. I have an hour of break so I came back to see if you had come back."
"Why?" he asked her teasingly, with humour in his voice. "Afraid I'll freeze to death out there?" He gave a raspy laugh.
"That's not funny. I was just worried about you." Riza said disapprovingly. As if one cue, John started coughing violently. Riza was immediately beside him, running her hand gently up and down his back trying to soothe him. When it subsided, his body relaxed and he took deep breaths.
"John, are you all right?" Riza asked worriedly. What's wrong with him?
"Yes, yes. I just need a little bit of time."
"John, I think you need to go see a doctor. I think it might be something serious."
"Don't worry about me little girl. I've been having these coughs for a while now. They come and go," he said with a tired voice.
"I still think you should go see a doctor," Riza insisted.
"Hush now. It'll go away. And how would I pay to go see a doctor? How would I pay for the medicine he'll prescribe? Nonsense! I don't need anything."
Riza's mouth was shut in a thin line. I'll pay for it. It'll be the first thing I do with the money I receive. Riza spent the rest of her break sitting with him and watching him. She could tell he did his best to act normal and to avoid her scrutinizing look.
"I'll be going now. You stay indoors. It's cold outside tonight," she said halfway out.
"Yes, yes little girl. I know. Be careful on your way."
"I'll bring back something to eat from the restaurant. Wait for me tonight."
"You don't need to do that! Don't spend it so lavishly!" he scolded her.
"Don't be ridiculous John. We need food to survive. If I can afford it, then I'll buy it." He huffed and looked away, making her smile before she left.
She worked the dinner shift until ten. They had agreed to pay her at the end of every day since she'd told them she was in urgent need of money. With that, she bought a combo of rice, chicken and asparagus to bring to John.
"So tomorrow, can you work morning and lunch?" Marc asked before she left.
"Sure." As she walked back home with the food, she sighed heavily. I haven't been this tired since the crazy physiotherapy. Her exhaustion was a good feeling. It meant that she had something to do again and that she had a chance of getting out of her current situation. What about John? She had only been with him for a few days, but she already felt attached and responsible for the old man. He had given her shelter without hesitation and had saved her from the streets. Being able to clean herself and to look proper had given her the chance to find a job. She knew she owed him a lot, even if he didn't think the same.
She opened the door quietly and stepped in without making a sound. It was pitch black. Is he asleep already? Well, it is ten thirty.
"You're back? How was work?" she heard his voice coming from his corner of the room.
"It was fine. I brought back food. Would you like to eat?" She heard him get up from his blanket.
"Turn on the light will you little girl?" She did and she saw him already moving the small table in the middle of the room.
She went to get them plates and utensils before setting everything down on the table. She opened the container and the hot steam came out. John inhaled deeply, with a small smile on his face.
"You didn't have to do this. I had lunch at the soup kitchen today," he said.
"You shouldn't go to bed on an empty stomach. You should have supper too. From now on, I'll buy something for supper if there isn't any food at the soup kitchen."
He grumbled, but she saw a light flush tainting his cheeks. She smiled and started splitting the food.
"What are you doing? There's more on mine than yours! I'm old. I don't need to eat so much. Trade with me." He tried to grab her plate, but she quickly yanked it away.
"I ate a bit a few hours ago. I'm not as hungry."
"You're the one doing the hard work! You should eat more! Come here little girl. Take some of mine," John insisted.
"Please just eat. I'm fine. I'm not that hungry." After a few more arguments, he finally agreed to eat his share. They ate in a comfortable silence until they both finished their food and were drinking hot water.
"Are you working again tomorrow?" John asked.
"Yes, I'm working morning and lunch. I'll be off in the afternoon."
John brushed his teeth quickly before settling himself back into bed. Riza washed herself quickly and brushed her teeth before she, too, retired for the night.
Riza woke up the next morning by someone's shaking.
"Wake up little girl! It's only a dream." John was kneeling beside her. She looked around and exhaled slowly. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and her heartbeat was fast. "It was just a nightmare," he told her again. She nodded and looked away.
"I'm sorry," she said as she sat up.
"Nonsense. We all get them." He got up and started boiling some water. "You have to go to work soon, right? I'll prepare some water for you to wash up."
"Thank you John." She looked down at her hands, still disturbed by the images in her dream. Since she'd come to live with John, she hadn't had nightmares until now. What was it this time? She remembered Ishbal, but this time, it was also mixed in with some sceneries she had never seen before. Monster don't exist. She dismissed the idea, tidied her blankets and pillow, and went to the bathroom to prepare herself.
When she came out, the little table was set up, with a steaming cup of tea and three cookies.
"Where did you get the cookies?" she asked.
"I got them yesterday. A bakery was getting rid of them, so they offered them to me instead of putting it in the garbage."
"Did you eat some already?"
"I've already eaten one. You can have the rest. It's your breakfast."
"You should take another one."
"No, you eat it all. Don't you dare keep one for me." Riza sighed before settling herself down to eat.
"I'm going to meet some friends in the afternoon, so don't wait up for me." He left and closed the door gently behind him and locking it.
Riza worked through the morning and the lunch service. Marc had given her something to eat in between again, so she didn't have to spend any money. He body had hurt a little bit that morning, since it still wasn't used to any physical activity. Her left shoulder would ache from time to time, especially if she tried to do any sudden movements that stretched a little bit too much. Her flexibility wasn't as good, but she did take some time to stretch whenever she could.
Near three in the afternoon, she went back home since she didn't have anything to do. I wonder if John's there. Unfortunately, he was still out somewhere, so she sat alone in the room. Her mind kept wandering back to the dream she had that morning. The scenes that flashed through her mind didn't make any sense, but one certain thing was that Roy was in them. She had seen glimpses of him, including other men in military uniform. She couldn't put a name to their faces, but she recognized some of them.
Riza felt a shiver crawl up her spine. Was she feeling guilty about the fact that she wasn't putting enough efforts to find out about herself and the events that got her into this situation? Her emotions were in a turmoil. She wished that she didn't care about her forgotten memories, but they seemed to contain the answers to the reason why she was in hiding. She was content here with John, even if they had poor living conditions. She'd prefer to live with someone who cared about her in this shabby, run-down place, than in a nice house with someone who wouldn't even bother giving her a second glance. What should I do?
In the beginning, she'd wanted to find Roy, get some answers from him and, depending on his answers, kill him. He was a vicious and cruel man who had betrayed her trust and would probably do the same to the citizens. At least that was what she had thought. Everywhere she went, people were praising and idolizing him. Those comments confused her and made her doubt herself. She knew he had always been a genius, so it wouldn't be hard for him to put up a fake image to convince the public. He's always been very cunning and a mastermind. Her memories of him were telling her another story, but she wasn't sure if she could trust them or not.
She had tried to make out plans to approach him alone, but she had all discarded them. He was the Fuhrer, constantly surrounded by elite guards. Everywhere he went, a whole team followed him. They were all armed and trained. She, on the other hand, had no weapons, no money and no one to help her. They might know my face. I can't just go and ask to meet him. They'll check me and find out who I am. She was almost sure that she was a wanted person even if she didn't know the exact reason for it, but she wasn't going to take the risk and just walk into the enemy's territory.
If I walk to Central HQ or to the Fuhrer's house, it'll take me approximately forty minutes, she thought. Her eyes widened in wonder. Every day she would find out something new that she knew about and it surprised her every time. I'm sure I lived in Central. I must have.
She looked at the clock and it was close to four. She gathered her things and set out. She let her feet guide her unconsciously as she set out toward the military headquarters. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, but she knew that she had to go there. It'll just ease my mind. I know it. She walked quickly to try to keep herself warm at the same time.
As she approached the HQ, the buildings and the neighbourhoods changed. She was in a better part of town, where richer people lived. The streets were decorated for Christmas, the lights were turned on and the shops were bustling with costumers. Riza ignored everything and stayed focused on her task. Suddenly, she turned left to go into a park and walked through it. On the other side you can see the headquarters down the hill. She felt familiar walking through this park and knew exactly where she was heading.
She walked down a smaller pathway through the woods that was all covered in snow and made it to the end where the trees cleared out. She looked down and saw an enormous building with the Amestris National flag hanging in the front. Her breath hitched and her heart beat faster. She was far enough that the people walking out of the building were only as big as her thumb. It was the end of the work day and people were going back home. She watched the officers, with their blue uniforms and black trench coats, getting into cars or walking out of the front gates. Her whole body ached to go closer, but her consciousness told her to stay put.What is wrong with me? Who knows what would happen to me if I go there? Sometimes, she thought that surrendering herself to them was a better option than living everyday in doubt and uncertainties.
Suddenly, she gasped and ducked behind a large tree, even if it was impossible for someone to spot her from that distance. She peaked her head out from behind the tree and stared down. Roy Mustang. She felt an inexplicable pang in her heart and clenched her hands tighter on the cold bark. He was clustered by bodyguards, who took the same number of steps as he did, never leaving any gap in his surrounding. They were walking toward a black military car with tinted windows. Look up. She wanted to get a better look at his face, but he kept his head down, trying to keep the cold away. He quickly got into the car and they drove away, sandwiched between two other cars.
After she had watched the cars fade into the distance, she released a long breath that fogged up in the cold air and stepped out from behind the tree. Her body was stiff and her fingers and face ached from the cold. She had always thought that she would be angry the next time she saw him again, but that proved to be wrong. She didn't know what she was feeling, but she did know that she wasn't mad at him. What's going on? Why am I like this? She knew she had to meet him, but she wasn't sure she wanted to. What if he changed. What if he's really like the one I saw in my dreams? She was afraid, but she went anyways.
His house wasn't too far from headquarters. She walked another twenty minutes until she recognized the area. It's close. By then, her toes were numb and frozen, and she could feel the cold seeping into her bones. The Fuhrer's house was on a big land situated in a enclosed neighbourhood. A few other rich people lived on that street, but other than them, no one else could have access to the neighbourhood without a pass with a proof of identity.
She saw three soldiers guarding the entrance to the street. Casually, she stayed on the opposite side of the street and turned a corner. She pulled her hood on deeper just in case and continued. There should be another small hidden pathway a bit further. As she walked, memories of a detailed map of the area with all the entrances flashed in her mind and that was what she was following at the moment. She was surprised to see two soldiers standing at the other entrance she had in mind. Again, she continued walking normally, not drawing any attention to her. There's that one last place. That one is well hidden. The kids use it to sneak out at night. She was sure she could get in from there.
However, as she turned the corner, she saw that she small passage was barred with a tall fence, completed with barbed wires. Her mouth fell open slightly in disbelief. Are you serious? She contemplated the idea of hiking over the fence, even if the wires would cut through her clothes a bit, but she was confident that she could make it over. Just like in training. As she passed in front of the fence to assess it, her chin jutted out in frustration as she saw a soldier standing guard at the end of the pathway on the other side.
"Tch. Who the hell arranged this?" she said to herself. It wasn't like the entrances were leading directly to the Fuhrer's house. She didn't understand why they would guard every single place. If I could only get in... She could already see the blueprint map of the Fuhrer's mansion and every way in. Somehow, she even knew the places that were more heavily guarded. Have I tried to infiltrate before? She wondered. The Fuhrer has one hell of a security team.
Abandoning her attempt to get in, she turned around and started heading back to John's house. As she walked briskly, she mentally scolded herself. What were you thinking! She was now regretting her decision to go there in the first place. What if he has undercover people on the lookout? What if someone had seen you? Stupid! That was stupid! She had a new fear to worry about now. She didn't know if any of the guards she had passed had looked at her. She was close enough to be suspicious, but that didn't mean that no one had the right to walk around that street. I wasn't the only one walking. They shouldn't have suspected a thing.
By the time she arrived back, she had convinced herself that nothing had happened. John was waiting inside and called out to her the moment she opened the door.
"Where were you all this time?"
"I was just walking around, exploring the city," Riza created an excuse.
"You must be cold. Come sit here." John motioned for her to sit beside him in front of the fireplace. "Have you eaten yet?"
"No."
"Here. I brought this back for you." He handed her an old tupperware and a spoon. "I got it from the soup kitchen. Since they knew me and know you too, they allowed me to bring back a portion for you."
It was a thick soup with some vegetable and chicken in it.
"Thank you." She ate in silence and they both stared into the fire, lost in their own thoughts.
"Have you met your friends today?" Riza asked after she finished eating.
"Yes," he said with a small smile. "It was good to see them again."
Riza was thankful that he didn't try to pry deeper into her day. They both went to sleep not long after, wrapped warmly into their coats and blankets.
It was about a week and a half after she had started living with John that she saw them. Two men, casually dressed, going around asking about her. She had immediately asked Marc and Clare to lie about knowing anything about her. Surprisingly, they easily complied, even after she had said that her situation was complicated and that she couldn't tell them why. She had assured them that she hadn't done anything bad. That day, she returned home quickly, taking small roads and alleys. Why are there people looking for me? How do they know I'm here? Then it hit her. Is it from that night? When I went to see the Fuhrer?
She entered the room and shut the door quickly, locking it. Her hand was trembling lightly, so she grabbed it with the other one to force it to stop.
"What's wrong?"
Her breath caught in her throat. In her panicked state, she hadn't noticed his presence. She was still facing the door, so he couldn't see her face. I have to leave. I can't get him involved. She turned around and put on a normal face.
"Nothing, it's just cold outside." She busied herself with her boots, but she could feel his piercing gaze on her. Please don't notice.
"Don't lie to me," he said calmly. She stopped and looked at him. She had never seen him look at her that way. Actually, she had never seen anybody look at her that way. She could see the worry in his eyes and her guilt was slowly coming up. Don't falter. It's for his own good.
"I'm not. Everything's fine. I'm just a bit tired from work." She came to sit in front of him, hoping that would convince him.
"Is this about those two men?" he asked suddenly. This time, she wasn't able to contain her surprise. She stared at him, not knowing what to say. How can I explain... "I've seen them yesterday too," he said. "I've asked around and apparently they're looking for you."
She unlocked her eyes from his and looked away. She felt ashamed to have lied to him and even worse about keeping the truth about her situation from him. She didn't really mind the fact that she would have to leave this place and go somewhere else to hide, but she was worried about his opinion on her. She didn't want to disappoint him or to make him feel betrayed.
"I told everyone not to tell them anything. You can trust them. They'll listen to me." He put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her.
"Why? Why would you do that for me?" Riza asked incredulously. "Aren't you going to ask me why they're looking for me?"
John looked at her and said, "I already said that each person has their own story and past. I don't need to know whatever you did before you came here. All I know is that you're a good and honest girl. That's good enough for me to do what I can to protect you."
Riza threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. Thank you, John. I don't know how I could ever repay you for all the things you've done for me." She heard him chuckle.
"Just keep me company."
She released him and said, "actually, I'm not too sure why they're looking for me, but I don't think it's a good thing." John just nodded in understanding.
"I've asked my friends to stay quiet. They'll spread the word out quickly, don't worry."
The next day, she returned home early after her lunch shift. She walked quickly and stealthily. She didn't see the two men today, but she was still nervous every time she had to go out. When she entered their shared room, she was met with an unexpected guest.
A man, a little younger than John, stood up the moment she entered the room. She watched him warily until she saw the figure lying on the floor. Instantly, she was kneeling beside John.
"John. John. Can you hear me?" she called out to him frantically. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up. The man had kneeled beside her and was looking at her with sad eyes. "What's wrong with him?" she whispered urgently.
"He's sick," the man said slowly.
"I can tell that. But why is he unconscious? What happened?" Riza hissed, trying her best to stay quiet.
The man got up silently and motioned for her to follow him. He opened the door for her and when she came outside, he closed it gently and sighed in defeat.
"I'm Alex, an old friend of John. We've been living in this part of town for ages," he started. Riza could feel her impatience crawling up, but she suppressed it. "John is..." he hesitated and looked away.
"What? He's what?" she asked tensely.
"He's dying."
She felt her knees weaken and her stomach clench. She frowned in confusion. "Wh- what do you mean? Are you saying he's old? Everyone is dying."
"Five months ago, he was feeling really bad. He gathered up all of his money and I gave him the rest to go see a doctor. He was diagnosed with cancer. It was already in its late stage and had spread everywhere. It's a really aggressive one and it's progressing really fast."
Riza let out a shuddered breath and leaned against the wall. How? How can this be? She knew his state of health wasn't good, but she didn't think he was literally dying.
"What can we do? Can we save him? Is there anything he can take?" she asked hopefully.
Alex shook his head slowly. "The doctor had prescribed some medicine for him, but it can only slow it down. It's too late to save him."
"Is he taking the medicine?"
"He couldn't afford it. There were two kinds and they're each over a thousand dollars. Without insurance, it's impossible."
"Do you know if he still has the prescription slip?" she asked with more intensity.
"Yes, I know he does."
"Can you show me where it is?"
They went back in the room and he walked to a small shelf. He opened an old tin cookie box and took out the small piece of paper. She took it carefully, put it deep into her coat pocket and zipped it.
"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for taking care of him."
He smiled at her and said, "I should be the one saying that. Ever since you came, he's been more lively and talkative. He doesn't show it, but he's really happy to have you with him. All he talks about it you." Riza looked down embarrassed. "If his daughter was still alive, she'd be around your age."
She looked up in surprise and he gave a small smile.
"He'll be fine. It'll pass. He'll be back to normal in a few hours."
When Alex left, Riza sat down beside John. She made sure the room was warm enough, she covered him with her blanket and she prepared some water for when he would wake up. She sat motionless, staring at him sadly. I can't leave you. Not now, not when I know you're sick. Her mind was exhausted. Too many things had happened in a short amount of time and it was burdening her. She blocked out every thought and focused on his breathing.
She didn't know how long she sat there, or when her eyes had closed, but she snapped awake when she heard some rustling.
"John. John, are you feeling all right?" Riza asked worriedly.
"Hmm," he grunted and cleared his throat. "No. I feel like I'm on fire. Why is it so hot in here?"
Riza quickly removed a layer of blanket. "I'll prepare some water." She turned on the small gas stove to heat the water.
"Make some tea would you?"
Riza nodded, choosing to let her back face him. She listened to him untangle himself from the multiple blankets and pull the table out from the corner. When the water boiled, she prepared one cup of tea and put it in front of him.
He took a small sip and closed his eyes in delight. Riza continued to stare at him. When he looked up and saw her expression, he sighed.
"So you know."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Riza demanded.
"Why would I tell you? What good does it do to know that I'm dying." Riza glared with anger.
"You're sick. You should have told me. I can help you."
"I don't want your help. You should concentrate on helping yourself. What difference does it make if I die earlier. I'm old. I've lived my life. I have nothing to lose." He paused. "You're still young. You have everything in front of you. You shouldn't bother yourself with an old dying man."
They glared at each other in a stalemate. Riza was breathing forcefully. She was fuming inside, but knew that nothing would come out of their argument. John was as stubborn as she was.
Finally, John finished his tea and laid back down. "I'm tired. I'm going back to sleep."
Riza put the cup away and pushed the table back into the corner. She went into the bathroom to wash up a little bit before preparing for bed. John was already asleep. She kneeled down beside him and pulled the blankets higher. His face was still too pale, but other than that, he was normal. Riza prepared her own blanket and pillow before turning off the light. She slept on her side, facing John. She watched his shape move up and down with each breath until she fell asleep.
"Don't go outside. You're not well enough. At least rest for today. I'll bring some food during my breaks," Riza warned him as she was getting ready to leave.
"Alright, alright, I know. I'll stay put," John said weakly. He was still a little bit too pale for Riza and she could tell that he was less energetic.
A wave of sadness washed over her and she exited the room quickly before he could see it. She was working for lunch and dinner that day, so she had a little bit of time before her shift started. The first thing she wanted to do was to go to a pharmacy and get some information on John's medicine. She walked to the nearest one and went to the counter. She took out the prescription paper from her pocket and handed it to the man behind the counter.
"Hi, I'd like to know how much these two would cost approximately," she inquired.
He looked at the paper and frowned. "We're actually out of stock for these two, since we don't get shipment of them very often, but they should be available at the main pharmacy on Central avenue. I can still check the prices for you though," he said nicely.
"Yes, please. I would appreciate it." He looked through some papers, jotted down some notes and made some calculations.
"For one month's worth for both drugs would be around 2900$."
Riza's eyes bulged and she gasped. Ho- how can it be that expensive?! She blinked multiple times before asking, "that's for one month?"
The man nodded sympathetically. She extended her hand to take the prescription back and thanked him numbly before leaving. What am I going to do? How am I going to get that much money every month? She raked her mind for every possibility, but she couldn't come up with something realistic. She would have to work twice as hard and even try to find a better job. However, the problem was that she didn't possess anything. She didn't have any identification, no official papers, no address, nothing. The only jobs she could look for would be the ones who could pay her under the table, but that would mean her salary wouldn't be as high.
Guiltily, she thought of the last option, the one that she kept buried far away. I could leave him. If she ran away, she would no longer have anything to do with him. All the money she earned could be saved up and put to good use. She could have a chance of getting out of her situation. I won't need to know what happens to him either. She had only lived with him for a little over two weeks. It wouldn't be too bad if she left.
She turned a corner sharply into an alley and leaned heavily on the wall. Her fists were clenched, her eyes were stinging and she let out a shuddered breath. No. No, Riza. How could you even think about that? He helped you out when he didn't even have to. He could've ignored you, but he didn't. She sank down on the floor, squeezed her knees into her chest and breathed out. Riza felt helpless and terrible. You can't. Not after knowing. You can't leave now that you know about it. She heard his words in his head, 'just keep me company'. She cursed under her breath and shut her eyes.
"You're really terrible Riza."
For the rest of the day, she was distracted. Marc noticed her absentmindedness and would have to snap her out of her thoughts sometimes. Between her lunch and dinner shift, she went back home to bring some soup and bread to John. Thankfully, he had diligently stayed home and rested. A part of her had been sure that he would sneak out, so she was relieved to find him sitting and reading the newspaper. At the end of the day, she hid in an alley and counted the money she had saved.
715. Nowhere near enough. Because of the food and gas she had bought, the money had went down a bit. Not only was her salary low, but she was also not getting as many shifts as she would've liked. I'll have to ask for more hours the next time. Her problem still remained the same though. She needed enough money to buy the medicine as soon as possible. I can't wait any longer.
Then it hit her. I could try the bank again. Maybe it got unblocked. She knew she had enough money in her bank account, although she couldn't have access to it. She knew it was risky to go there again, especially now that people were actively looking for her. However, she was desperate. She would have to take the risk. I have to at least try.
The next day, John was up before she was.
"How are you feeling today John?" was the first thing she said after opening her eyes.
He was preparing their morning tea. "I'm fine, back to normal. I'm going out soon."
"What? Are you sure you're well enough to go out?" Riza asked worriedly.
John pursed his lips and frowned at her. "I've been resting for over a day. I'm sick of staying indoors. If I don't feel well, I'll just come right back."
Riza hesitate before giving in. "Fine, but make sure to come back if you're not feeling well."
John had left before she had started on her tea. First things first. I have to go to the bank. She wasted no time heading to the same Amestris National Bank she had visited the first time. She entered the building and went to the first available counter. A young lady greeted her.
"Hi, I'd like to withdraw some money from my account." She gave her her name and account number. In the beginning, she had thought about asking for her cards, but changed her mind when she remembered that people could track her down via her transactions. I'll have to pay everything in cash.
"Alright, how much would you like to withdraw miss Hawkeye?" the lady asked. Riza hid her surprise well. It got unblocked? Her heart soared.
"Can I withdraw $5000?" That'll last me a while.
The lady processed her transaction, got her the money and printed out a receipt. "Can I have your signature here please?" Riza signed at the bottom before securely putting the money envelope in her pocket.
"Excuse me, do you know where the nearest pharmacy is?" she asked before leaving.
"Yes, on your way out, turn left and keep walking for about ten minutes. It'll be on your left."
With newfound hope, she walked down Central avenue. Her heart was beating excitedly and her hands fidgeted in her pockets as she stroked the envelope and the prescription paper.
There was no line-up at the counter of the pharmacy. She gave a woman her paper, who read it and told her to take a seat as she prepared the drugs. About ten minutes later, she called her and gave her the instruction for the drugs.
"It'll be a total of $2888."
Riza paid everything in cash and left with a small plastic bag containing two tube bottles. She walked back hurriedly, anxious to give them to John. The least she could do was to prevent him from suffering during his last days.
Unfortunately, when she entered the room, he was not there. She hesitate about going out to search for him, but decided against it. I could be seen by the wrong people. I should just wait for him here. It was near lunch time, so she figured he would come back soon enough. He usually came back for a little bit after he had finished his round of picking out bottles and cans. Although sometimes he would just stay out and chat with his friends.
Riza didn't have to work that day, since it was the other guy's day. She waited patiently, reading newspaper and drinking hot water. She was starting to get a little bit hungry, but she didn't want to risk missing him while she went out to look for something to eat.
She read an article about Roy Mustang. It spoke of the renewal of the peace treaty with Aerugo. The picture showed him shaking hands with the current leader of that country. Good. We don't need another war. She continued flipping through the newspaper and soon came to the end of it. She sighed out loud and looked at the clock again. She had been waiting for about an hour and there was still no sign of him. Maybe I should go out to look for him.
She got up and prepared to go out. She made sure to pull her hood well over her face and to bend her head slightly, in case she would come across the people looking for her. She carefully peered out around each corner before continuing on. Where could he be? She wasn't as familiar with all the streets in the area, but she had a fairly good idea where she was going. John and her had walked around sometimes, going to soup kitchens or him showing her around.
That's weird. Where's everybody? She had been walking down two blocks now and she didn't see anyone on the streets. Usually, she would always see some groups of people huddling together and chatting. She turned a corner and spotted some people. Good. I'll ask them if something is going on. As she came closer, she saw that they were standing at the edge of a crowd. What's going on?
She approached cautiously, not sure if she wanted to get involved. She scanned the crowd, looking for John. What are they all looking at? Suddenly, she heard sirens. The ambulance? Someone must've gotten hurt. She was about to leave, but curiosity got the best of her. She moved through the group of people nimbly, making her way to the front to get a peek at the scene.
What she saw made her freeze and suck air in sharply. She felt her heart leap in fear and her lower lip tremble. John. He was lying on the floor in the middle of the street, with paramedics getting him onto a stretcher. His lips and beard had some blood stains. What happened? When she got over her shock, panic washed over her. "John", she said in a low voice.
"John," she said it a little bit louder and started pushing her way through more aggressively. Her eyes never left him as she carved her path through the crowd. Out of the way! Suddenly, she was jerked to a halt. Someone had seized her arm with a strong grip and yanked her back. She gasped in surprise and irritation. Peeling her eyes away from John, she looked at the person holding her.
"Alex," she said through gritted teeth. "Let go of me. I have to get to him." She tried to free her arm, but his grip was too tight.
"Take a better look around you before you choose to do anything stupid," he said sternly and quiet enough for only her to hear.
For the first time, Riza scanned the area and saw what he meant. A man and a woman in blue uniforms and the two men she had seen the other day who had been looking for her. She looked back and forth between the military officers and John. Before she came up with a decision, she felt Alex pull her away.
"Follow me," he said fiercely, not looking back as he continued pulling her out of the crowd. Riza felt too numb to fight back so she let herself be pulled.
They stalked down the street without slowing down before Alex turned sharply into an alley.
"Alex!" Riza exclaimed. "What happened?"
She had trouble focusing on anything since her mind kept picturing John on the floor. I didn't go to him, she thought guiltily.
"John had a coughing fit and blood came out. He collapsed near the sidewalk and by coincidence, a couple of officers were driving by and stopped to call the ambulance. The two men were also undercover officers," he explained to her in a rushed tone.
Riza was staring and blinking at him. It's not fair. I should be with him. She debated in her head whether she had made the right choice in leaving the scene or not.
"They're the two men who had been looking for you. It seems they have a pretty high rank too. The other two in uniforms were following their orders," Alex continued. "Look, they're taking John to the hospital. I'm sure he'll be fine. John wouldn't have wanted you to get caught just because of him." He looked at her with sympathy. "He told me to watch over you if something happened to him."
Riza stared at him for a while before looking away. Her fists were clenched. I'm so useless. She felt even worse thinking about an old dying man worrying more about her than himself. She punched the wall angrily and let out a growl of frustration. "That idiot," she hissed under her breath.
"You should go wait at home. I'll go to the hospital and stay with him. I'll get someone to update you on his condition as soon as possible. Don't worry too much."
That was the only option she had, so she agreed without resistance. She knew people in the hospital and she wanted to sneak in unnoticed with their help. However, now that she had confirmed that the military was looking for her, meaning Roy Mustang, she couldn't act carelessly. She still didn't know their reason for wanting to find her, but if it was for something bad, she didn't want to risk getting John in danger. I won't let them use him against me.
Riza sat in the dark single room waiting. Time passed agonizingly slow. She held the two bottles of medicine in her hands and stared at them. She imagined his reaction over and over again as she gave them to him. She knew he would get angry, but it was worth it. Riza had committed herself to repaying John for his kindness and selflessness. He's such a stubborn man. He'll be back soon. She was sure of it. She could imagine him walking in the door right now with his worn duffle back, with messy hair, overgrown beard and his many layers of clothes.
She waited until the sun had gone down. She was fidgety and curled into a ball. Maybe I should build a fire. It was getting cold, so she prepared a small fire and sat in front of it. She had always liked staring into the fire as a child, but now it brought up too many memories. She heard the screams of agony, fear and grief in her head and saw images of destruction. She closed her eyes and smiled sadly. What can I distract myself with other than memories of hell? It's not like I have anything else to remember. Fire also brought up Roy Mustang. The one she had given the power of destruction to. Ever since she had realized what she had created, she had never forgiven herself. How can I ever atone for all those deaths?
A knock jerked her out of her thoughts. Riza jumped up and dashed to the door. She swung it open and stared with wide eyes at the guest.
"Why? Why are you here? You said you would stay with him. You said you would send someone else. Why aren't you by his side?" Riza asked with a low shaky voice.
Alex looked away and shut his eyes. Riza breathed in sharply. She knew that look. She knew the look on someone's face right after they had lost someone. Pain, sadness, grief. She knew them. Now that she looked closer, his eyes were a bit red and puffy. It can't be.
"How?" She asked airily. "How did he go?"
"Peacefully. He never woke up again. His heart just stopped and they couldn't bring him back. The doctors said that it was a miracle he had lived this long with his cancer. Since he was poor and had no living relatives, the city will be taking care of his burial. He won't be suffering anymore." Alex's voice cracked.
Riza clenched her jaw and steadied her emotions. She didn't moved for a few seconds before she slowly started closing the door.
"Wait," Alex put his hand on the door. He wasn't forcing it open, nor was she trying to close it. They were both mentally exhausted. "Thank you."
She looked at him and asked, "for what?"
"For being his companion till the end. He didn't show it, but he was happy you were there. He told me once," he paused. "He told me that he wished you weren't as kind-hearted as you are so you could leave him and live your own life. He wished the best for you from the bottom of his heart. So don't you feel guilty for not having done anything for him or not having been able to save him. You gave him happiness and that's all he ever asked for. It would be good if you could leave here soon."
With that, he left, wiping his eyes with his coat sleeve. She stared at his back until he disappeared around the corner. She closed the door quietly, locked it and went back to sit in front of the fire. He's dead. I didn't even get to say goodbye, she thought monotonously in her head. Everything was still surreal. She had just spoken to him that morning. He had seemed fine. Now he was gone.
Riza curled herself into a ball as tight as she could and rocked gently back and forth. Everyone close to me dies. Her parents had both passed away, leaving her alone as a young adult. Even if her father hadn't exactly been a father figure, he was still the person she had lived with for most of her younger years. After that, she hadn't lived or warmed up to anyone until now. At least that's what she remembered. Roy Mustang did not count.
Silent tears fell down as she continued staring into the fire, both bottles of medicine forgotten on the floor.
Riza woke up freezing and stiff. She had fallen asleep in the middle of the night without any blankets. Numbly, she got up and went into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the small mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and a little bit swollen. However, she was not in the mood to care about anything so she quickly washed her face before getting back out and preparing to boil some water. She built a new fire, prepared one cup of tea and sat down in front of the small table. She stared into empty space, her mind too tired to think about anything. It was quiet, too quiet.
She drank her tea slowly and swallowed the lump in her throat. I have to leave quickly. Since the city had decided to take responsibility over John's burial, they would have to send someone over here soon. She gathered her things, which weren't much, and carefully placed them into her bag. She dressed herself warmly and took one final look at the room. Don't linger, she told herself. I'm sorry John. I promise to come back to visit you as soon as I can. She forced her legs to move. She didn't want to speak to anyone. She just wanted to disappear.
One thing she did do though, was to tell Marc and Clare that she was leaving. She left out all of the details and thanked them for their help and generosity. They didn't question her or try to pry into her problems. They must've been used to short-term employees.
She walked with a set determination to the Central train station. I enough money to leave the city and to live for a couple of weeks. She wanted to go back to her hometown and find herself again. She didn't know where to start, but a familiar place was always a good choice. As she stood in line to buy the ticket, a train had come into the station and the passengers were disembarking. She stared absentmindedly at the crowd.
Suddenly, something flashed in her eyesight that made her turn and take a better look. She had recognized something and the familiarity was gnawing at her. She looked around, going on her toes and spotted the person with a bag hung over his shoulder. It was that particular luggage that had caught her attention. The colour, the size, the shape; everything was telling her something.
Marcus! She remembered, it was the same case she had seen in her dreams. The one that had been lying on a table in a small room. The video camera.
"Next!" someone at the counter called out.
Riza looked back and forth between the counter and the fading figure before she dashed out of the line and followed the man.
A.N.: So that's what happened to Hawkeye. Another passing character, who ended up passing away. I actually like John. Too bad. That was the softer, lost childhood, side of Riza. I hope this chapter was pleasant enough to read. It was hell to write. So long! I think this is the last chapter that's more laid-back. The next ones will develop the storyline and we'll very very soon get to the chapter where they meet again. Hihihi.
P.S.: Cancer drugs and treatments are expensive. I think they might actually cost more than that. Sucks. Stay healthy.
D