Chapter 5: Storms

She paced back and forth in the tent, growling to herself as her thoughts spun into anger and sadness. She was so stupid. Of course they would be greedy for her, every soul back in the Enchanted Forest was. "Even the damn Blue Fairy wanted some," she growled to herself.

The freedom and the newness of the island had blinded her, she'd almost forgotten her past and her knowledge, the truth of people. People were greedy, selfish, heartless. All of them. Some claimed to be good and kind, but as soon as they had something as powerful as she within their reach, they became their true selves. No one cared for anyone except themselves. Pan may not have locked her in a room, but that didn't make her free.

"This was my parents' price, that I would forever see true nature," she whispered. And it had ruined her life forever. Tears clouded her vision, and she was so shocked at her emotion that she didn't think and just let them fall, and let the anger and sadness consume her.

All her life before the tower, she and her parents had been lied to, threatened, hounded at for her. As a child, people had rushed to her and tried to touch her, grab her, yell and scream pleas and demands at her. Everywhere she went it was chaos, and as a toddler she was terrified of adults. That was one way she must've been blinded by Pan and the boys, children had never attacked her as adults had. She was a princess, an innocent child, and she had been horrified at her own subjects. She was wanted. So much, she'd been stolen and locked away for twelve long years. Ripped from her family, sentenced to imprisonment for no crime she could remember.

Felix stumbled into the tent, panting, as if he'd made a great effort in walking the five steps she had. She didn't even notice him or anything else outside her mind. She was curled on her knees on the ground, folded in on herself so her forehead touched her knees.

"Hey," Felix urged and reached out, but hesitated before touching her. She opened her eyes, red from crying, and lifted her tear-stained face. That's how she noticed it was suddenly storming outside, violently: the thick trees were swaying with the wind, leaves and dirt and twigs hurled in the air not caring who or what they struck, heavy black clouds blocked the entire sky and sun. But it was so bright…she risked a glance down near her shoulders, already guessing what she would find. Her white hair, tangled and thrown behind her and across her shoulders, was glowing as brightly the chandelier of candles back in her tower room.

"I…I am sorry…" she whispered, saddened further. She had no control over the magic, so it manifested itself through her emotions. And right now, she was filled with old anger and recurring sadness. Pan threw himself inside then, dirty blonde curls a mess from the wind, but still looking a bit less exerted than Felix.

"Everything's secure, good job. I was right, wasn't I?" his whole demeanor was different as he spoke to Felix. Businesslike, straightforward, no malice or mockery or hidden meanings. Then he turned to her, and his attitude changed a bit again. But not back to his normal cruelty. Instead, he looked plainly at her, his face almost expressionless. But it was softer than usual, and a hint of a smile played on his lips. Probably satisfaction that she really was powerful. His eyes held determination, but also understanding. "Right love, let's calm you down."

"Stay away from me. I told you, I don't know how to control it, and that's damn nice for you," she snarled. He cocked his head, again without a hint of teasing.

"Why is that any help to me? You've created a storm that's destroying my camp and, frankly, making my island rather messy." He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Well if I can't control it, you can. And then you can have what you want, all my power, all yours," she bit at him. She wasn't going to fall for any act of innocence, she remembered the truth now. Still, she was surprised to see his face slacken and him take a full step back. Then he composed himself and nodded thoughtfully.

"I couldn't control you even if I wanted to, love, I've been trying to stop this storm for the past twenty minutes and haven't made the slightest dent in it. So, you control it. And I'll tell you what to do," he smirked. Then his face became businesslike again. "But you are creating some very dangerous conditions right now, and you need to calm down. I understand you're angry, you're sad, of course you are. How my Shadow found you, I can only imagine you're sadness. But you need to control it. You can be sad without losing control," he urged, stepping closer and kneeling to look into her face.

She hated it, but his words gave her some hope. Or he was just manipulating her. And he'd just said himself, he would order her how to use it. She still had no power over herself. "You're no better," she ground out the words, condemning him. He must have misunderstood.

"Than you? Never," a tiny, tiny smile appeared on his lips, but it lit up his whole face. Looking at him, she felt some of her emotion dissipate. He looked young and happy, just from the little slip. His eyes became intense again. "I have very strong magic myself, and I can be very angry when provoked. But I control it all, and no one controls me. Ever." Oh, that sounded like bliss. True freedom, where she had control over herself. And no one could order her to give her magic to them, even if they demanded. He looked at her kindly, "what is your happiest memory, Princess?" he asked softly.

She thought hard, it was difficult to remember anything before that damn tower. The anger rebuilt itself, and the storm portrayed it.

"Pan, I don't think—" Felix began, his tone nervous at the increasing wind.

"Wait," Pan snapped, and Felix bowed his head, his body tense. Pan turned back to her and put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her out of her memories and commanding her to focus on him. "Think before the tower. I know you have a past, a childhood. Parents, any siblings? A home? I know it's there, dig deeper," he commanded. She did. She hurled her mind down past the memories of the tower.

"My mother," she whispered, closing her eyes to focus on the fuzzy image in her mind. "She was queen, and she was so beautiful." The image became clear, and looking down at her was a woman whose face, framed by short but thick brown hair, was shining with her smile. She had a soft, narrow face and high cheekbones. Her eyes were a dark blue and sparkled with happiness as she looked at her little daughter. She was talking, but the child either didn't understand or the older girl just didn't remember now.

"Tell me about her," she heard a whisper but it seemed far away. She obeyed, reveling in the memory of her mother.

"She was so happy whenever she looked at me, as if I was some great achievement she never imagined, as if she'd come a long, hard way to get to me. She said many times, I don't understand why, but she said, 'I'd do it a thousand times over, for you.' She loved me, and, and…and then…" and then she was taken away and had never even heard news of her since. She felt tears begin to slide down her face again, but the rage wasn't there. Just sadness.

"Now tell me about your father," the voice encouraged. She tried to remember him as well, and his face swam into her mind's eye next to her mother's. He was a bit older, and had light brown curls. His eyes were blue as well, almost as deep as the woman's. His smile competed with hers, it was so full of happiness. She couldn't see him as clearly, but his presence was enough.

"I was his little princess, he told me stories of princes and kingdoms and heroes. I don't remember them," she admitted, her voice catching. Hands ran up and down her arms.

"It's alright, just remember him. What matters is him. Did you have other family?" the voice far away continued softly.

"Rosie," she answered automatically. It took her mind a moment, but soon a fuzzy image of a two-year-old with tangled, dark brown curls and bright blue eyes came into view. She was laughing and trying to run, assumedly after her older sister, but kept tripping on her dress. "She probably doesn't remember me, doesn't know me. She was just a baby," the tears flowed faster, but the anger was completely gone. Yet, the sadness wasn't so powerful.

"She does, she's your sister. You're too important for her to forget," the voice confirmed it for her. She was happy. She opened her eyes to see bright brown ones. Pan was kneeling in front of her, hands curled around her shoulders, staring intently into hers and whispering encouragement to her. His face was expressionless. "The storm stopped. You did it," he nodded at her as he stood, releasing her shoulders.

"But, I'm still sad," she murmured. He just shrugged.

"Of course, you're still a person. All people have emotions. Just, with those who are magic, control them better. You can have emotions, even rage, without losing control of your power."

"And…do you have emotion?" she looked up at him through her lashes, her head bent for fear of him being angry, and allowing her to partially hide her face in her hair. He was a person, after all.

His face slipped into that dark smirk of his, exuding power and malice. "Of course not, I'm far too powerful." With that, he slipped out of the tent. It was then she noticed Felix must have left earlier.

But he was a person. He'd said himself, all people had emotions. And his face when she'd opened her eyes, how close he was to her, had not quite proven his claim that he didn't. She'd spent most of her life not interacting with people, but she'd read all sorts of books-many of which were fantasy novels. They always were incredibly descriptive of the characters' emotions. Even with her lack of personal experience, Pan did not seem above emotion.