Chapter 4
Bella's POV
I wrapped my arm around his neck and gripped the box in my hand.
"I want you to be straight with me Edward. Only answer yes or no. Will you do that for me?"
"Yes. God yes Bella. I'll do anything for you."
"Do you love me?"
"Of course. How could I…"
"Just yes or no will do."
He shut his mouth and chuckled, his breath fanning across my face.
"Do you love me?"
Cupping my cheek, he closed his eyes.
"Yes."
"Will you love me forever?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me forever?"
His hand dropped to mine with the little box.
"Yes."
"Do you want me to die?"
Pain flashed across his face and he cringed.
"No."
"Will I ever be a distraction for you?"
"No. Never."
"Have I ever been a distraction for you?"
"No."
"Does Esme deserve to be alive?"
"Yes?"
Instantly he became confused.
"Does Esme deserve happiness?"
"Yes."
"Has Esme done everything she can to make you happy?"
"Yes."
"Has Esme taken you in as her son?"
"Yes."
"Has she given everything she can to make other's happy?"
"Yes."
"Is she a good, clean, innocent person?"
"Yes."
"Then does she have a soul?"
"Yes."
"Then why don't you?"
He seemed taken aback. I'd backed him into the corner that no one else could. His family had tried to convince him of his soul before but never succeeded. They'd given up trying to convince him. I'd never give up on him though.
"I've killed people."
"Bad people. Really bad people. They would have hurt or even killed other people. What if the people you'd killed would have hurt me? You would have killed them wouldn't you?"
"Yes. No one's going to hurt you though my love. I won't let them."
"But all of the men you did kill had hurt people; women in particular."
"Yes. They were all murderers and rapists."
"You saw the crimes they'd committed and the crimes they intended on committing in their minds. You saved hundreds of young women from those men."
He was going to interrupt me. I could tell.
"Just listen for a minute. For me?"
Closing his mouth he nodded for me to continue.
"Let's say there was a man called John and his girlfriend Clarissa. So, Clarissa's walking home after visiting her friend's house and is harassed by a man. This man then rapes her before letting her go. When John finds out he goes looking for this man and in the heat of the moment kills the man. He then feels guilty later as he's turned into a murderer according to the police. Think of one hundred John's who've been arrested and have to live with the guilt of killing someone and leaving their loved one. You not only saved hundreds of women from Clarissa's fate but you saved hundreds of men from John's fate. You have a soul Edward. You have the biggest and best soul I have ever seen. If Esme can have a soul then why can't you?"
Again, more tears fell from my eyes and this time he wiped them away with his thumb.
"I don't deserve a soul."
"Do I?"
"Yes. No matter what you do, you will always have a soul?"
"If I killed someone to save someone else would I still have a soul?"
"Yes."
"Then you have a soul Edward. It doesn't matter what you are it's who you are. You proved that by saying that Esme has a soul."
"What's the point to all of this Bella? Why does it matter now that I have a soul?"
"Because I want you to change me."
He gasped and stared at me with his mouth agape. I took this moment to place the box into his hand and run my hand over his nipple. Kissing his peck, I cuddled into his chest and hooked my leg over his hip.
"Marriage is what you think it will take for me to trust you again. You changing me is what I want. Out of the two, marriage isn't as important to me as me being like you. Don't get me wrong, I want to marry you and I will. I'll be your wife and love you every day but I won't love myself until I am equal to you. That can't happen unless I'm like you."
"I'll do it. I'll change you Bella."
A large smile broke out across my face as he took my hand back in his. I pressed another kiss to his peck and rolled onto my back to look up at him.
"When?"
"6 years."
"6 years? Not that long. I'll be 24."
"4 years. I need some time."
"And I need to be 18 forever."
Putting the box between my breasts, he sat up and climbed from the bed. I watched him walk around to the foot of the bed and run his eyes over my naked body.
"You're giving up your life for me."
As if he could tell that I was going to move to him, he stopped me.
"Don't move. Just… stay there."
I lay my head back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling before dropping my eyes to him.
"It's hard Bella. My self-control is being tested just by seeing you like this. I want you Bella; forever like this. I can't take your life from you. Not yet; not whilst you have everything going for you…"
"It's my life. If I want to throw it away than that's my choice. I wouldn't be throwing my life away though. You are my life. You are my soul Edward. I can't live without you. Please don't make me live without you again. I won't be able to."
There were no more tears. I knew he wouldn't leave. The ring on my chest showed that. I had to get my point across though. He looked as if he wanted to bolt from the room or attack something; hopefully that something was me.
"Give me time. I want you to have a few more human experiences before I change you."
"Like what? Graduate? I'm not saying to run off before graduation. Get married? I've agreed to being your wife. Any time you want to get married we will. I don't mind. You don't need to worry about the sex. We've got that covered now. And a baby? It's not like I'd ever be a mother. I don't mind giving that up."
"But it's all girls dream off…"
"No it's not. Not all girls. Since I was young I've practically been a mother. I cared for my mother and now my father. I've had the experience of being a mother. I didn't need a baby for that though. You are so much better than being a mother to someone's baby that I will never love as much as I love you. I want to be with you forever Edward. I've never asked anything from you or your family. This is all I will ever want. Please? I love you Edward."
He moved so quickly I didn't see it but I could feel the wind his movements had created. His figure hovered over me as his lips attacked mine, the ring still balanced on the valley between my breasts.
"After graduation. We are going to get married, go for a long honeymoon and then I'll change you before your birthday. No complaints about anything. I can spend as much money as I want on you and Alice can take you shopping three times without any complaining."
"Deal."
I ran my fingers round his neck and pulled his lips back to mine.
"Marry me Bella?"
"Yes."
He sat up again and took the box from my chest after pinching each of my nipples. Carefully taking my left hand he slid the ring onto my fourth finger and kissed each of my knuckles. I threw myself at him, crashing my lips to his. My left hand held his cheek, my thumb resting under his eye. He lifted me onto his lap, pushing himself into me. I hummed into his mouth and pressed my chest to his.