ROY
Roy closed the door gently before turning around.
"Is she okay?" Breda asked quietly.
Roy nodded slowly. "She's asleep right now."
After the incident, Riza had refused to move or let anyone touch her and had stayed curled up in a ball for about an hour. Roy had done his best to cover the pool of blood with towels and papers, since he didn't want a bunch of people coming in to clean the place considering the state that she was in. He had sat beside her, a fair distance away so she wouldn't be uncomfortable, just listening to the silence in the room. He was sure many things were going on in her head and he knew he just had to let her get through them herself.
For that one hour, she had just kept on staring into empty space, but he had seen some twitching and shivers from time to time. When she had started moving and attempting to get up, he snapped out of his own thoughts. Roy quickly scrambled up, feeling the numbness in his legs after sitting for so long. Riza was stiffly and awkwardly trying to stand up.
"Do you need a hand?" he asked softly while offering his hand. She hesitated at first, then extended her hand but stopped in mid air.
Roy looked at her in confusion and saw that she was staring at her own hand. When he looked down, he realized what had gotten her attention. Her hand was coated with dried blood. He immediately took her hand and wrapped it in his as much as he could to hide the blood.
"Come on," he prompted her. She looked away from her hand and stood up with his help.
This time, he couldn't help himself either from noticing the stains on her clothes. She was a bloody mess. She looked down at herself and her face grimaced slightly before she looked up, let go of his hand and started walking to the bathroom.
"Do you need someone to help you? Should I call a nurse?" Roy asked her. She ignored him and continued walking.
He walked beside her until she went inside.
"If you need anything, I'm going to be right out here," he told her. She turned around to face him and looked at him briefly before closing the door and locking it.
At first, he had waited directly in front of the door, leaning against the wall. Don't do anything stupid in there, he prayed. He was a little relieved when he heard the water running. After a few minutes, he quickly went to the phone and called for people to come and clean the blood immediately. In a couple of minutes, a cleaning team had arrived and were removing the blood stains as fast as they could. Good thing it's not carpet.
During the whole time, Roy sat on the couch watching them thoroughly clean almost everything, but mostly keeping a sharp ear on the running water in the bathroom. He was making sure the sound of splashing water remained uneven, meaning that she was moving around.
The cleaning team left after fifteen or twenty minutes, leaving Roy alone in the room, waiting for Riza to finish. He looked at his watch. It's been 30 minutes. He knew she was probably carefully scrubbing herself everywhere. However, a few minutes later, the sound had changed and there were no more movements, just a constant stream of water from the shower. Roy stared alertly in the direction of the bathroom. Maybe she's just enjoying the hot water. Calm down Roy. He waited and waited some more. Five minutes had passed and the dread in his heart was consuming him.
He got up and stalked to the door and listening some more. She's not moving. He knocked on the door and waited. There was no response and no change to the water.
"Hawkeye, are you okay?" he said loudly through the door and knocked a few more times. Still, there were no answers.
Just when he was starting to really panic, the water was turned off. He listened closely with wide eyes. He could hear the shower door open and her footsteps. Sighing out loud, he went back to sit on the couch. He didn't want to startle her by standing in front of the door. I don't need her to hate me even more for thinking I'm some kind of perverted creep.
She came out dressed in new hospital clothes and had her towel draped around her shoulders. Without looking at him, she walked straight to her bed and climbed in. She sat for a while looking at her hand and her nails. He noticed that they were raw. She probably scrubbed them hard to remove all the blood. He sat silently, watching her from the couch.
His guilt at seeing her this way was gnawing at him, but he didn't know what to do to help her. Everything is my fault. He saw the bags underneath her eyes, the fatigue on her face and the look of self-loath in her eyes. What have I done?
He was not unfamiliar with that expression. He had seen it on numerous faces many years ago. It was a mix of guilt, fear, self-loath and terror. He had also gone through with it and even until now, it was still with him. He had just learned to cope with it, but it had taken him many years. Is she going through it again? His heart was hurting for her.
Half an hour later, she removed her towel, placed it on the night table and tucked herself into bed. She laid on her right side and pulled the blanket all the way up to her nose. Roy got up slowly and walked to her bedside. Her eyes were closed and she was curled up in a ball. Roy picked up her damp towel, went back to hang it in the bathroom and came back to turn off the lights. It was still early evening and the last rays of sunshine were still visible. He walked to the other side of her bed to close the curtains. However, he stopped abruptly right when he was about to pull on the string to lower it.
"Don't," she said in a low voice. He jerked his head toward her, but she hadn't moved an inch and her eyes remained closed.
"Okay, I'll leave it open." He walked back to the other side and said, "get some good rest Hawkeye. I won't be far. Just press the button if you need anything."
She had only spoken one word to him the whole time. I guess it's better than nothing. It reminded him of their childhood. She hadn't spoken to him for many weeks in the beginning. I guess it's the same thing as back then. However, he knew it was not the same thing. This time, she was battling demons by herself and he knew she wouldn't easily let anyone in. She had already been sort of an introvert to begin with, so this was just going to make it worst.
"How are the other two?" Roy asked Breda as they walked down the hallway.
"They woke up about ten minutes ago. They're still dizzy, but other than that they're alright."
"Good, let's go hear what they have to say."
Havoc and Fuery had been found unconscious in front of Hawkeye's doors. Spilled coffee cups were on the ground beside them, so Roy had already suspected that it had come from their coffees. So they were given sleeping pills to avoid making a ruckus. Pretty good idea. Some of the coffee had been collected and sent to the lab for analysis, so he'd have to wait until the results came out to confirm that.
Falman was in the room with Havoc and Fuery. When Roy entered, they all looked up at him.
"How are you two feeling?" he asked both of them as he took a seat on a stool between the beds.
"Could be better," Havoc murmured. Fuery was looking down at his hands with a guilty face, while Havoc was glaring at the wall beside him.
"It's not your fault guys. You couldn't have known it was him," Roy said.
"Yeah, but... Hawkeye," Havoc looked at him with a pained expression. Roy tried to think of something to reassure them, but they already knew it wasn't going so well on her end.
"She didn't get hurt," was all Roy could say. At least not physically.
Fuery and Havoc looked at him with sad expressions. Roy sighed loudly. He couldn't blame them for what happened, but that didn't mean he couldn't be angry with the whole situation. It was his fault that they had been one step behind.
"Tell me what happened. How did you guys end up sleeping on the floor?" he asked.
"Well, when Fuery and I got kicked out, we got two chairs and just sat in front of her door, keeping watch. We were tired, but none of us slept. We were awake, until..." Havoc stopped as he narrowed his eyes in shame.
"Until Brandt came for a visit. He brought us coffee and chatted with us for a while. He said he had already finished the day's work and had dropped by on his way home. We told him Hawkeye didn't want any visitors, so he didn't try to go in," Fuery continued.
"Yeah, but as we continued drinking coffee in order to keep ourselves awake, it made us feel more and more sleepy. I couldn't bear it anymore so I told Fuery to let me take a nap for ten minutes. That was the end for me," Havoc said.
"I was supposed to wake him up in ten minutes, but I could barely keep my own eyes open. I was fighting it, but then Brandt said he could keep watch for me for ten minutes. He was already leaning against the wall beside me and said he wouldn't let anybody in, so I thought I'd be fine. But then I woke up here," Fuery said sadly.
"That bastard!" Havoc cursed. "We were stupid. We didn't even suspect him. Now that I think about it, he wasn't even supposed to know she was there. It was kept a secret and only a few people knew about it."
Havoc was right. Only a few select people knew about her location and Roy had made it clear that none of them could speak about it.
"You two were tired and weren't thinking straight. It was also my fault for putting you two, who had barely gotten any sleep the day before, in charge of keeping watch." Roy looked at Breda and asked, "any news of him?"
"Not yet. They've been in surgery for about two and a half hours. I don't know how long it's gonna take. Someone should be coming out to give us an update soon," he answered bitterly. "That guy doesn't even deserve to live and here we are, using the best doctors and best medical facility to help him."
"He'll wish he had died," Roy said.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Breda went to open it. It was Godlsby and he was carrying a folder.
"Fuhrer sir." He saluted.
"At ease Second Lieutenant. What have you got?" Roy asked.
Goldsby handed him the folder and said, "the results of the blood test are out." Roy opened it and looked at the papers. "After we asked them to do a comparison to Warrant Officer Brandt's blood sample data, it seems like it was our closest match."
"But they're not completely identical. There are some small differences" Roy noted. Is there another person?
"Yes sir. The blood types are the same and they are very similar, but there were some differences in the genome. They apparently did the tests three times in order to make sure it wasn't due to some technical error. It appears that the disparities are only at the epigenetic level though. But, if we only compare that data, then the differences are considerable. It's almost as if they were two different people." Goldsby said. Everyone looked at him quizzically.
He's right. It's strange. Roy flipped the pages and saw Brandt's military records.
"He was reported missing during the revolution?" Roy asked. Many people had been reported missing from that fight. Some bodies had been found under the rubbles or people had come back after the fight was over, but some of them still hadn't been found.
"Yes sir. His body had not been found, but he apparently came back a month after the revolution was over," Goldsby said.
"One month?" Roy asked curiously. That seems strange. Why would you only make an appearance one month after? "Was he injured?"
"From the information I've gathered, no. He had just suddenly appeared and asked to resume his duties. He was soon transferred to work under your team. It seems he had asked for it too."
Roy spotted out of the corner of his eyes the exchanges of looks between his men. Something is definitely wrong. This could just be someone impersonating him.
"Good work Goldsby. We'll have to wait to speak with him to find out the truth." Roy closed the folder, but held on to it. "What about Marcus?"
"He's been put back in his cell, but he keeps on begging to see you again, to be let out and keeps on saying that he's innocent." Innocent my ass.Even if he had been only receiving orders, he was the one that implemented them and gave out instructions to Rob and Jack.
"Keep him there. No one is to speak to him," Roy gave out his orders.
"Yes sir."
"You are dismissed." Goldsby left the room, leaving him and his men alone.
"What does this mean?" Falman asked out loud. "Is it the same person or not?"
"It's his evil twin," Havoc threw in his hypothesis. Roy looked at him in the eye and Havoc just hunched his shoulders. "It could be possible. I mean, the tests showed that they were basically almost identical right?"
"We'll keep that in mind then," Roy said not too convinced. However, it was true that it wasn't impossible.
Another knock at the door silenced them. Breda went to open it and found Dr Knox. Roy immediately got up.
"He'll survive. We've moved him to the intensive care unit for the moment, just until he stabilizes," Dr Knox said in his usual gruff voice, but Roy could tell by the looks in his eyes that he was just as angry as the rest of them.
"Thank you Dr Knox. How long do you think it'll take until he wakes up?" Roy asked.
"The anaesthesia should wear off in an hour, but it'll probably take more time until he wakes up. His body needs a lot of rest."
Roy nodded slowly, much to his annoyance. He didn't want to wait for him to wake up after having fully rested. The man almost killed Riza and he was not in the mood to be patient.
"Falman, can you go keep an eye on Brandt, or whoever he is, until he wakes up? When he does, come get me. Breda, you stay here and keep an eye on these two. I'll be with Hawkeye."
They all saluted before he quickly left the room and went back toward Riza's room. He sat in front of the doors and stared pensively at the ground. He had wanted to make her change rooms, but she had been too unstable and probably too tired to move around to a new environment. Then again, this room was located in a more isolated and quieter part of the building where she could have her privacy. It was supposed to be the safest place for her. Maybe I should bring her home. It would be more comfortable than the hospital.
He didn't know how she would recover from this. He didn't even know if it had triggered some of her painful memories, but he suspected that it did. She had been very affected and perturbed by what had happened and had withdrawn within herself. The moment he had spoken to her when he had seen her all covered in blood, he had already known she was in another world, somewhere where he couldn't reach her. When they sat together in silence for an hour, he knew all he could do was wait, wait for her to come back out.
Was she like that after Ishbal? He didn't know the answer to that. Shamefully, he knew it was because he hadn't paid her any attention after the war. He had been drowned in his own problems at that time. In fact, when he thought about it, she had never seemed to have any problems with Ishbal. From the very first day she had come to work under him, he had never seen her struggle with her emotions concerning that war. He, on the other hand, had had many problems that even she knew about. Pay more attention Roy, he scolded himself. The fact that she had always seemed to be alright was probably because he had always been too busy to notice anything.
I won't let that happen again. With new determination, he promised himself that he would help Riza get back to normal.
RIZA
She couldn't sleep. No matter how long she waited, she just couldn't fall asleep. She felt tired though. Her body was heavy and begging for some rest, but her mind was running rampant. She was constantly anxious, afraid and paranoid. She felt like she was on the brink of insanity. She wanted to sleep, but just before it took over her, she would always hear some small noise, whether it'd be in her head or not, that would make her snap back awake and her blood pump with adrenaline.
She knew now that the images that were reappearing in her head were no dreams. They were flashes of her memories, real events that she had lived through. They were terrifying and gruesome. She saw herself and remembered killing all those people in an almost machine-like and indifferent way. It was hard to accept that she had done all that and that made her afraid. What was I thinking? Why did I do it? She hated herself and she was afraid of herself. She hated how naive and powerless she had been in the past.
In the soft moonlight, she could still clearly see the pool of blood that had been on the floor, right beside the bed. She had shot another man today. The sensation of his gradually limping body and the warm blood flowing out of him could not leave her mind. It was all she could think of when she opened her eyes. She had been too shocked to moved when he had fallen on her and she knew that his life was literally seeping out of him with every heartbeat. She had wanted to scream, to kick him away, but her muscles had all been paralysed.
Riza knew that no matter how long she waited, she wouldn't be able to sleep. She sat up and stared around the room. It was dark, which made her dread every dark corner. She quickly turned on the lights. Maybe I should have died. She didn't know why she had survived. She didn't even have her memories to live a normal life. I'm a murderer too. I shouldn't be here.Today was the proof of that. She might've killed another person. I was protecting myself. She tried to convince herself, but it wasn't working really well.
Anxiously, she put on her slippers and limped around the room, avoiding the area where the blood had been. The kick she had received had made her leg hurt even more when she walked, but she ignored it effortlessly. Her mind was preoccupied with Victor. Did I kill him? Didn't Dr Knox say he would save him? She hadn't gotten any news on him and it was gnawing at her conscience. She didn't want to know that she had killed him.
Hesitantly, she walked toward the door and stood in front of it. Listening closely, she couldn't hear anything. She wanted to get out of here. The room was suffocating her. She turned the handle gently and pried the door open. She peered through the crack and didn't see anyone. Her heart was beating madly and she felt like she was doing something she shouldn't be. No one said I couldn't leave the room.
Opening it a bit wider, she slipped her head through and looked both ways. It was then that she saw the Fuhrer, slightly slumped in his chair, his head falling forward a little bit and his eyes closed. She held her breath as she looked at him. He was asleep, but not very deeply. She could see his eyes moving under his eyelids. She paused halfway through the door, debating whether she should go or not. When she thought about the room again, she finally decided to step out, not wanting to be caged in there alone with her thoughts.
She closed the door as quietly as she could and walked to the opposite side of the hallway, trying to put as much distance as possible between herself and Roy. However, after two steps she heard him jerk awake, making her jump and turn to face him. He was up and staring at her with wide eyes.
"Hawkeye," he said tentatively in a soft voice. She could tell he was tired. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked disheveled.
She looked him in the eyes only for a brief moment, before looking away at the ground, the wall, anything except for him.
"Where are you going?" he asked and took a step forward. She tensed visibly and backed up.
Still looking elsewhere, she stood still. There was a heavy silence between them. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't really know what their relationship was. She wasn't exactly in the mood to speak to him either. Does he know about my past? Feeling nervous, her hands fidgeted against the hem of her shirt.
"Would you like to take a walk with me?" he asked. This surprised her and she looked up at him. He smiled at her and motioned for them to go down the hallway.
Slowly, she started walking in the direction he had pointed, leaning against the wall a good two meters away from him. They walked slowly and in silence. She led them wherever she felt like going. As they passed many other rooms, she looked at the patients sleeping in bed. It was close to two in the morning and there was practically no one around. There was the occasional nurse or staff member passing by them, but none of them bothered them.
She was thankful that her mind was blank. She was only concentrating on walking and on the slight pain she felt with every step. Roy's footsteps were always a few step behind her, still within a two meter distance on the other side of the wall. He didn't try to invade her space, which made her grateful.
"This way," he had said all of a sudden, which startled her. She looked at him curiously as he beckoned her to make a turn into another hallway. "I want to show you something."
Out of curiosity, she followed, but kept glancing warily at him. She was beginning to tire and she was really starting to feel the ache in her left leg. She continued without complaint, following him to wherever he was leading her to. Why am I even following him? She wanted to stop, but for some reason, she couldn't.
In the distance, she saw a man in uniform sitting down on a bench in the hallway, facing a room. The sound of their footsteps caught the man's attention and he looked at us. Then, he quickly stood up and saluted.
"Fuhrer Mustang, Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye," he said with surprise. His eyes were locked on her.
She stopped walking toward him. Roy had already reached the other man, but looked back when he felt her absence.
"Hawkeye, this is Captain Vato Falman. He works with us in our team. You can trust him," Roy said.
Still, she didn't move. She eyed the older man up and down, who smiled at her nervously. Is he one of the other two men Havoc and Fuery were talking about?
"It's good to see you up and about Lieutenant Colonel. I'm glad you're feeling alright," he said in a friendly manner.
Riza nodded her head ever so slightly and looked down. All she wanted to do was just to walk around aimlessly to distract herself and hopefully tire herself out so she could sleep. She wasn't in the mood to speak or meet anyone.
"Hawkeye, I wanted to show you the man that," he paused and seemed to rethink what he had wanted to say. "The man from earlier. He'll be fine. He's resting right here." Roy pointed to the room Falman had been watching.
At that, Riza's eyes widened and she limped quickly to the room's large window. Indeed, it was Victor lying on the hospital bed. A mixture of emotions took over her. Most of all, she was relieved he hadn't died, but she also felt anger, sympathy and emptiness inside of her.
ROY
He could tell she was a total mess. The haunted look in her eyes and the dark circles underneath them gave it away. Despite his desperate urge to do something, he knew he couldn't. She wouldn't let anyone approach her. Her emotions and her mind was closed off to everyone. She kept a good distance from others, especially from him, and didn't speak unless it was necessary.
He had watched her limp around the hallways in the middle of the night and had watched her look at the sleeping man who had tried to kill her. The look of relief didn't surprise him one bit. In fact, he was hoping to get that reaction from her. At least she'll be at peace for that, knowing that she didn't kill him. He was glad they were able to keep Brandt alive. Making Riza not feel guilty was one thing, but he had other things planned in mind for the man.
After a few minutes, she turned around and limped to the bench across the windows. She sat down gingerly, clearly trying to stifle the pain from her leg and her side. After having settled herself, she just continued staring at Brandt.
"Hawkeye, you should get back to your room to rest. Falman's watching Thomas Brandt, so when he wakes up, he'll have someone bring you the news," Roy said to her calmly. She was only wearing the hospital's clothes and it didn't seem to be enough to keep her warm. He didn't want her to get sick on top of all her injuries.
She didn't look up at him, but her eyes shifted slightly when she heard the name. "It's Victor," she said simply, still staring at the man.
Roy turned fully toward her with all his attention. What does she mean by that? "Are you saying this man is not Thomas Brandt?" he asked carefully. Even Falman was tense with confusion.
Riza shook her head side to side slowly. "It's Victor, his twin brother."
Roy stole a quick glance at Falman. He, too, seemed to have come to the same conclusion.
"Are you sure about that?" Roy asked.
Riza nodded. "He told me himself."
Roy sighed out through his nose. They had finally confirmed an important piece of information and he was more than eager to have the others know about it. Falman seemed just as restless as him. They both wanted to spring into action. When he looked back at Riza, he caught her looking at him, studying him. Surprised, he calmed himself down and smiled a little, but Riza didn't buy it. She continued staring at him suspiciously, making him nervous. What did I do now?
"What are you going to do to him?" she asked bluntly.
Roy clenched his jaw. She was looking at him for the first time with such intensity that it silenced him. Her unwavering gaze was piercing him as she tried to read his expression. That look made him tremble with uncertainty. He didn't want to tell her what was going to happen to him, especially when she was this unstable. The few seconds that passed seemed like an eternity, but before he could come up with a good, believable lie, she pushed herself up, without losing eye contact.
"You can't kill him," she said in a low voice, almost with an underlying tone of menace. But, it was also desperate, angry and worried.
He could tell her eyes were pleading him. Why? Why are you standing up for this man? It infuriated him that this man had the protection of the one Roy could not betray.
"Why?" he asked back with a suppressed fury. Why are you protecting him?
Riza seemed surprised by his reply. She looked back at Victor, then back at him. "You can't kill him. You just can't."
Roy breathed in deeply, calming himself down. He had seen the look in her eyes when he had asked her the previous question. He couldn't afford to make her more afraid and wary of him. He had already told himself that he would do anything to protect her and if it meant giving in to this request, then he would have to.
"I won't," he said slowly. Her eyes lit up a bit. "Don't worry. He'll live."
She let out a small breath and looked back at room. A few seconds passed before he heard a very quiet response.
"Thank you Mr Mustang," she said most timidly.
Roy could help the rush of heat going up to his head. He hadn't heard her call him that since the Ishbal war. The way she had said it was so like the young innocent girl he had met many years ago too. The fire that had been building up inside of him for the past few minutes had immediately extinguished and was replaced by a foreign giddiness. I guess this works. I wasn't going to kill him anyway, he told himself.
Roy undid his jacket and carefully draped it on Riza's shoulders. At first, she jumped and stepped away quickly. He stood there, still holding his jacket out for her, with a loop-sided grin.
"I thought you might be cold," he said. He watched her relax her shoulders and lower her guard. Taking it as a sign of acceptance, he approached slowly and placed his jacket on her shoulders, taking extra care not to touch her.
Not long after, she wordlessly started walking back toward her room. As he passed by Falman, he heard him say, "is it true that you're not going to kill him?"
Roy knew that Falman just wanted to confirm what he had heard. He didn't seem either for or against it, but rather supportive of any decision he would have taken.
Roy nodded and said quietly, "I can't break my promise to her." Falman gave him a small, relieved smile.
"I'll let you know immediately if he wakes up."
Roy nodded, but before he left, he added, "can you tell the others about Victor?"
Falman nodded and saluted.
He followed Riza silently a few steps behind her. Her foot looks like it's in pain... By now, Riza was limping quite visibly. She had a firm grip on the wall rail, but it still seemed like she was putting a lot of effort with each step.
Seeing an empty wheelchair on the side, Roy quickly went to get it and rolled it up beside her. He coughed a little to get her attention and she stopped to look at him.
"Do you want to sit?" he asked. Riza looked down at the wheelchair, then at him, then back in front of her. She shook her head side to side before continuing moving forward.
Quickly recovering from the silent rejection, he continued walking beside her with the wheelchair. "You injured your leg. You shouldn't be walking too much on it. I know it's hurting you right now." Riza looked at him with an annoyed frown. Oh god, this is not going well. "Please just sit. I don't want you to hurt your leg even more."
This time, she huffed a little before moving to sit in the chair. Without a word, he rolled her all the way to her room. He opened the door and wheeled her in. He stopped beside the bed and she got up. It was dark in the room, except for the light coming from the moon outside. He watched her settle into bed before he started to turn around with the chair.
"Good night," he said quietly. She didn't say anything, but he saw a little movement of her head, a sign of her acknowledgement.
Roy let out a long breath as he sat down on his chair outside the room. These last few hours had taken all the energy out of him. He hadn't gotten enough sleep during the past few days and it was definitely having its effect now. He slumped drowsily in his chair, his eyes threatening to close. I can't fall asleep. I'm supposed to keep watch. He tried to keep his mind busy and awake by thinking of many things.
The most recurrent one was definitely Riza. He hadn't had so much difficulty talking to her since their childhood, but even then it was easier. The way she was now was caused by traumatic events and not by her natural tendency to be excessively reserved. He didn't exactly know how he could help her other than being there for her. He could imagine how alone she must be feeling at the moment. Waking up with half your memories, no family, no friends... He didn't even know if she considered him a friend.
RIZA
She mostly stayed in her room for the next few days. There were too many people during the daytime, so she preferred taking a walk around the hospital in the middle of the night. One of her reasons for doing so was to go see if Victor had woken up. Every time she came out of her room, Roy was there waiting for her. He would follow her soundlessly, letting her go wherever she pleased and saying a single 'goodnight' when they came back.
He wasn't there during the day though. Whenever someone came inside to bring her her meals, she would find Havoc, Fuery or Falman sitting outside and smiling to her. I guess he has a lot of work to do during the day. Even though she had spent some time with Roy, it was still awkward for her to be around him. Her memories of him mostly consisted of the days of his apprenticeship. Even during that time, they hadn't been that close. After she had given him the secrets to her father's research, he had left and they hadn't been in contact again until the war.
She didn't think too much about Ishbal. She didn't want to. If she wanted to stay sane and get a few hours of sleep, she knew she would have to ignore those thoughts. The newspapers and magazines in the room, helped to keep her mind busy. When she wasn't reading, she would think about the few people she knew in Central, mostly of John. Even now, she hadn't had any more news of him. She felt cut off from the world and it frustrated her when she thought about it. I should ask about John. They should be able to tell me what happened to him. She knew Havoc had been one of the officers who had found him.
She walked to the door and opened it. She saw Havoc's head turn sharply toward her with a surprised look.
"Lieutenant Colonel, do you need anything?" he asked after a quick recovery. He had stood up excitedly and was waiting for a response.
"How are you feeling Captain Havoc?" she asked quietly. She hadn't inquired about them since the attack, but she knew they must've been fine since they were back on duty.
"Oh I'm good! Fuery too. It was just some sleeping drug, so we just had to wait until it wore off. Thank you for asking."
"I see. That's good to hear." There was an awkward silence between them, since he was still waiting for her to speak. "I was just wondering if you knew anything about the old man that had collapsed on the streets a few days ago. It was you and someone else who had brought him to the hospital."
"Oh yeah! Breda and I were there. You were there too?" Havoc asked incredulously. Riza nodded with anticipation. "We were actually there looking for you when we saw him suddenly fall to the floor. Unfortunately, he didn't survive. He was brought to the Central General Hospital. They took over from there, so I don't know what happened after that. Sorry."
Riza looked down to the floor, unable to contain her sadness and regret. She didn't know how she was going to find out what happened to him. She would have to go to the hospital the moment she would be discharged.
"Um," Havoc interrupted her thoughts, "If you'd like, I can have someone find out what happened to him."
Riza's eyes widened. "Th- that would be really appreciated. Thank you very much." Elated, her lips twitched upwards ever so slightly, making Havoc grin.
Back in her room, she couldn't stop fidgeting on the couch. There was finally something for her to be concerned about and she couldn't wait any longer for more news. Not long after, there was a knock on the door. Doctor Knox came in alone.
"Good day Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye," he greeted her. She nodded her head. "How's everything going? Are your injuries hurting anywhere?"
"No. Everything is fine." It was true. Her leg was still bruised, but it didn't hurt too much anymore when she walked short distances. Her rib was also healing nicely. As long as she didn't do any sudden movements or physically strain herself, then it was fine.
"That's good. I'm just going to do a quick check up, alright?" He looked at her leg and side and asked her to do some different movements. "How's your shoulder?" He had asked her about it the last time he came and she had told him about the slight difficulties she had had with it.
"It's alright. I just can't bring it all the way up yet." It was still recovering from the dislocation.
"That's normal. It usually takes some time to heal. With some physical therapy, it should help to loosen up the tissues and get more flexibility."
Riza nodded silently. "When can I get discharged?" she asked bluntly. She was sick of being in this room.
"That's actually the reason why I came today. I just wanted to do a last check-up before you would be allowed to leave. Everything was fine, so I'll have someone bring you the discharge forms soon." He gave her a small smile.
"Thank you so much Doctor Knox."
She had been wanting to leave this place for the last couple of days, but knew it was impossible due to her injuries. She also had a feeling that the Fuhrer had had something to do with keeping her in here longer. However, every time she thought about leaving, she still didn't know what she would do the moment she got out. She had gotten all of her belongings back the day before, so she knew she had some money, but she didn't know where to start. I need to find a place to stay first. She had changed out of her hospital gown and had put on some clothes she had received from Kate the last time.
Doctor Knox had said that he would send someone with her discharge papers, but she hadn't expected Roy to be that person. He came in with all smiles and handed her a paper and a pen.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her.
"Good," she answered.
"Are you excited about getting out of here?" he asked with hidden excitement. She could see he was so much more happier to see her leave than she was herself. She nodded her heed before looking down at the paper.
She signed where it was necessary and handed it back to him.
"Havoc told me about the man you asked about. We sent someone to get information on him, so you should have it by tonight or tomorrow."
"Thank you," she said quietly. She still wasn't accustomed to all the service and help everyone around her was giving her.
"I brought you these." he took out a pair of boots from the bag he had been holding and a white coat. Riza looked at them hesitantly. She knew her previous coat must've been tarnished in the flames, so she had been preparing herself to go out in the cold without one. She hadn't expected this at all. Seeing her discomfort, Roy chuckled. "They're yours. They belong to you."
"Really?" she asked. He nodded assertively. They were both very nice. She was just surprised to see things that had belonged to her, but now seemed so foreign. I guess I'll have to believe him. The boots fitted perfectly. I guess these are mine.
Roy insistingly held out the coat for her, so she turned around and slid her arms in them. It was a bit loose on some places, but it still fitted nicely. Lastly, he wrapped a scarf around her neck before stepping back with a satisfied smile.
"All ready?" he asked.
Riza hesitated. "Did Victor wake up yet?" Roy's smile disappeared.
"He did. He woke up this morning. He's doing fine," he said monotonously.
"What's going to happen to him?" she asked.
"We're going to start questioning him when he's mentally stable enough."
She stared at him, looking for signs of deceit, but didn't find any. "I want to know what happens," she said firmly.
She watched him frown disapprovingly. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said simply.
Riza felt a rush of anger. Ever since the attack, she had been kept in the dark. No information was given to her about the situation or about the whole case. She was kept in isolation and ignorance about everything. It infuriated her because everything involved her. "I want to know what's going on. I want to know about Rob, Jack, Marcus and everything else. This has everything to do with me. I became this way because of them. You're treating me like an invalid. I'm not so fragile that I'll break."
Riza paused to take a breath. She hadn't spoken with this much intensity for a long time. Roy was watching her stoically, with a repressed look of hurt and guilt.
"They say I used to work with you and the team, so I deserve to at least be included in this case now of all times. Please." She could see him debating internally with himself. She knew he had been keeping her in the dark in order to protect her, but that was not what she needed. The more she felt isolated, the more she felt useless and depressed. She wanted her life back and if she needed to face the hard truth to attain it, then she would force herself to.
"Alright," was all he said. They stood in silence for a few seconds before he said, "are you ready to go?"
She grabbed her old bag containing the few belongings she possessed before she nodded in agreement. "Here, let me hold that for you." Roy extended his hand for the bag, but gave up in the end after she had refused twice.
They walked to the front desk and Riza waited a bit while Roy finished the discharge process. It was late afternoon and there was still many people walking around. Riza wasn't very comfortable in crowded places. She couldn't help but look around nervously, suspicious of every person that passed by. Almost everyone looked or glanced at her. Is it because I'm with the Fuhrer? She hated the attention and the more she waited, the more she wanted to run away.
"Okay, all done," Roy said when he came up beside her. She jumped slightly and nodded her head. She saw a flash of concern run across his face, before it disappeared quickly. "Let's go home."
Home? Confused, she followed him outside. I guess I have a home here in Central. The cold december air that hit her was refreshing. She breathed in deeply and squinted her eyes in the sun.
"Come on," Roy urged her forward. There were two black military cars waiting in the front. She recognized Havoc and Fuery, both standing in front of them.
However, what made her stop in her tracks was the dog Fuery was holding onto. His tail was wagging furiously and he gave a sharp single bark. He was tugging at the leash impatiently. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that all three men were looking at her. Her eyes were still locked onto the dog's. Fuery let go of the leash and he sprang toward her. Riza tensed and straightened up slightly as he came to a stop in front of her.
He seemed to wait eagerly in front of her, then sat down and gave another bark. Seeing that he was so happy to see her, she bent down and approached her hand. Instead of sniffing it, the dog rubbed his face against excitedly. A second later, he had rolled onto his back, begging for more attention. She knew, as she rubbed his stomach, that this was her dog. She looked up and saw them smiling at her.
"You named him Black Hayate," Roy said. Black Hayate, she repeated inside her head. It was definitely familiar.
Fuery laughed and said, "this is the first time I've see him like this. He's usually very well behaved outside. I guess he must've missed you too much."
"Black Hayate," she said to herself, but the moment it came out, Hayate leaped up and awaited instructions. Kneeling in front of him, Riza decided to test him out. "Sit." He did immediately. She extended her hand and asked for a paw, which she received, then the other one. "Good boy," she said and she kissed him on the head. Hayate quickly gave her a quick lick before she got up and took the leash. She felt a great joy welling up inside of her. She had always wanted a dog and knowing that she had gotten one made her happy.
She walked to join the others by the cars.
"Do you like him?" Roy asked with a hint of mischief in his eyes.
Riza hid her face in her scarf and nodded embarrassingly, making the men chuckle. Roy opened the back door for her and she got in with Hayate. She watched Roy walking to the other side and also getting in at the back. Havoc got into the driver's seat, while Fuery drove the other car. During the car ride, Riza kept quiet, looking outside the window, or petted Hayate, who sat between her and Roy.
However, as she saw the car going toward a familiar road, she paid more attention outside. She recognized the rich neighbourhood and the guarded entrance to the street. Where are we going? Isn't this where the Fuhrer lives? Havoc drove into the street after having his ID checked. They were stopped again in front of a large gate. This time, they drove up a long driveway. A large house, more like a mansion, came into view. The car rolled to a stop in front of the elegant double door to the house.
Riza sat as still as a statue as she looked out the window in bewilderment. Confused and anxious were too soft to describe what she was feeling at the moment. "What are we doing here?" the words came out by themselves.
"This is my house. This is where you'll be staying for now, until everything is settled down. I hope that's okay with you."
She turned to look at him, clearly perturbed. "I can't. You've already helped me with so much. I can't possibly impose on you any further. Isn't there a place I used to stay in before all of this?"
"Your rent ended while you were away and since we didn't know when you'd be back, we moved your things into a spare room in my house. It's really not a problem at all. Your room has already been prepared for you," Roy said sympathetically.
"I- I still don't think it's right. I can't accept it. I'll get some of my things and go look for another place to stay. Thank you for-"
"No!" Roy stopped her mid-sentence. "I mean, please stay. I'll be more than happy to have you here," Roy pleaded her.
She didn't understand why he was desperate to keep her here. She had already been forced to accept his generosity at the hospital, now he wanted her to stay at his place. I can't. He's the Fuhrer. It's wrong on so many levels. What if people know about this? Won't it be bad for his reputation? There was also the fact that they would be alone in the house. It's not like she didn't trust him, but she didn't exactly know him that well and she still had her doubts about staying here alone with a man.
Havoc had gotten out of the car to give them privacy, so there was a dead silence between them as she thought things over.
"How about this? Stay over tonight and we'll decide the rest tomorrow. It's cold and it's getting a bit late to go out looking for another place," Roy suggested.
Still uneasy, she asked him, "why do you want me to stay here?" His face turned serious.
"Because I'd worry about you too much if you were somewhere else. We still don't know for sure if you're completely safe. It would- It would mean a lot to me if you could stay here for the meantime."
Worried? Does he feel guilty about all of this? Reluctantly, she agreed to stay the night.
She walked into the house slowly. Roy turned on the lights inside and Riza marvelled at the interior. She felt increasingly small the more she looked around. The splendour of the place was a huge contrast to where she had been staying at a few days ago. Even her memories of her childhood home came nowhere near the beauty of the Fuhrer's house. Embarrassed at her thoughts, she proceeded to occupy herself by removing her boots and her coat.
"That's all for today guys. You can go home and rest," she heard Roy say.
"Alright chief, see you tomorrow," Havoc said. Fuery and Havoc both locked eyes with her. "We'll see you tomorrow Lieutenant Colonel. If the Fuhrer annoys you too much, you can always tell him to go away."
"Hey! Don't tell her that. This is my house. I won't have any other place to go to if she kicks me out." Roy shooed them out before closing the door. Roy sighed and turned to her. "Don't listen to them. They're just joking."
Riza nodded, but thought it strange that he would let them speak to him that way. Isn't it a bit disrespectful? I guess they're really close.
Roy helped her hang her coat before taking her bag and motioning her to follow him. "I'll show you to your room."
They went up the grand stairway to the second floor. They passed many doors until Roy stopped in front of one and opened it. Riza gasped under her breath. It was quite big, beautiful and kept clean and simple. There was a queen sized bed in the center of the room, a night tables on either side, a dresser with a mirror, a small desk, a private bathroom and a walk-in closet.
"I hope you like it. Everything in this room is yours. I asked some people to help me prepare it. It's arranged exactly like how it was in your old apartment, so maybe it'll help you remember some things," he said with a proud smirk.
She walked in and looked around. She didn't really remember any of this, but she was amazed at the things she possessed. She opened the closet and saw many neatly pressed uniforms hanging, some coats, a few dressed and other clothes. What intrigued her the most were the stacks of different shaped boxes on the upper shelves and on the floor.
"That's your gun collection," Roy said from behind.
She bent down and opened one. A feeling of recognition surged through her as she laid eyes on a shiny revolver. These are all mine? she thought with excitement.
"I'll let you look through your things. I'm just going to change out of my uniform." Riza nodded absentmindedly without looking back. She was busy opening every single one of them.
She must have spent over an hour looking at everything because when she finally remembered where she was, it was pitch black outside. Oh no. She scolded herself for the rudeness she had shown in someone else's house. Where is he? She was in the hallway looking for him, but she didn't dare open any of the doors. She walked back to the stairs and went down. Back in the main entrance, she fidgeted nervously. She didn't want to venture into different places without permission. What should I do? Hayate was still beside her, happily looking up at her. He hadn't left her side for one second.
The answer came to her when she smelled something good. Food? Is he in the kitchen? She decided to follow the smell. In the end, she came upon a large kitchen and saw Roy in an apron in front of a stove.
"Oh you're here already? Did everything in the room suit you?" he asked, looking up from whatever he was making.
"Yes, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't come to help out sooner," she said. "Do you need help with anything?" She felt immensely ashamed and useless for not helping out sooner.
"No, I wanted to prepare you a meal, so I didn't actually want you to know about it until it was ready. It's almost done though." He was already plating the food. Riza stood awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, watching him finish. "Alright, what would you like to drink?"
"Water please."
"Water it is then." He took out two glasses and went to the fridge to fill them up.
Unable to stand still any longer, Riza approached him. "Please let me help with something."
Roy looked at her, then said, "okay. Take these then." He gave her the two glasses of water. He removed his apron and went to get the two plates and told her to follow him. He led her out of the kitchen to the dinning room. There was a small modest table all set up. He placed the two plates down and did the same with the water he took back from her. He then held out the chair for her and insisted that she sat down.
Riza looked down at the dish in front of her and her eyes widened with surprise. Did he really make this?
"If you're wondering, then yes, I did make it," he said with a chuckle. Riza felt her face heat up.
"I- I wasn't-" she was too embarrassed to say anything. Indeed, she had been wondering about that and he had caught her in the act.
"It's alright. I can imagine how surprised you must be, since I wasn't exactly skilled in the kitchen in the past." It was true. She remembered that one time he had tried to cook something, only to burn up whatever he had been making and creating a huge cloud of black smoke. "As you can see, I've greatly improved on my skills," he said proudly. "Today, I've made some parmesan chicken on top of bolognese spaghetti and some asparagus on the side. All unburnt!"
After Riza had tried a bit of everything, she told him it was good, making him beam with pride. As she continued eating, she thought about his improvement and it only reminded her of all the years of memory she had missing. Is this the first time I eat his cooking? What else did we share?
"So did anything look familiar to you in your room?" Roy broke the silence.
"I'm not sure. Sometimes I think it does, but I can't really remember any of it," she said sadly.
"Don't worry about that. It'll eventually come back. It might just take some more time," he said encouragingly.
By the time Riza finished her food, she felt bloated. I think I ate too much.
"I'm sorry, I don't have any deserts. If you want though-" Roy was apologizing, but stopped when he saw her shake her head quickly.
"No, it's fine. I'm already full. Thank you." She couldn't even think of eating another bite.
Roy chuckled at her reaction.
"Can I ask you something?" Riza asked slowly.
"Of course, anything."
"What did I call you before I lost my memories?" It had been bothering her for a few days now. She wasn't sure if she was still calling him 'Mister Mustang' like in the old days. She doubted it, since she knew she was a soldiers and it would be strange if she had continued calling him that in the military. However, now that he was the Fuhrer, it was even more touchy.
Roy looked taken aback by the question and even looked like he was struggling with the answer.
"You called me 'sir', most of the time. If not, it would be 'Fuhrer Mustang' or just 'Fuhrer'." He paused nervously before continuing, "outside of work, you called me Roy sometimes."
Really? Were we that close? She couldn't really imagine herself calling him by his first name. She looked back at him and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. He seemed too nervous and fidgety on top of that.
"Alright, alright, I lied. You never called me by my name even outside of work," he said guiltily, with reddened cheeks. He scratched his head uncomfortably before adding, "I wouldn't mind it if you did though. I'm just Roy when I'm not in uniform."
He relaxed when she nodded. "Roy. Thank you for allowing me to stay over and thank you for the meal," she finally said.
"It's my pleasure. Is it alright if I call you Riza too?" he asked hopefully. She nodded to give him her permission, which made him smile back at her.
Riza didn't return the gesture. There was something else on her mind that was bothering her.
"Roy, why are you helping me?" When the question came out, Roy looked at her startled. He didn't seem to understand it. "I know I used to work for you, but it's not like a commanding officer has to help their subordinate up to this extent, not to mention the Fuhrer. If in any way you're doing this because of guilt or because you think you owe me something-"
"No! It's not because of that," Roy interjected quickly, but stopped there. Riza waited, but the words never came.
"I know I forgot almost everything that happened between us, but I just wanted let you know that whatever happens, I won't blame you or have any ill feelings toward you. You don't have to worry about it. You don't owe me anything Roy."
"I told you it's not like that," his voice came out strained. The air between them was heavy. Riza stared at him, but he refused to meet her eyes.
"You took a big risk when you allowed me to stay here. I know the press follows you closely. If news went out that you had a woman over, then it could damage your reputation. So why? Why would you do this for me?" She too had taken a risk in asking this question. She didn't think it would lead to this when she had started the conversation. She had thought for sure that he would admit to feeling guilty, but he refused it obstinately. If she had made him angry with the question, then he could easily ask her to leave, but she wanted to know. She needed to know.
When Roy looked up at her, he said with unwavering resolve, "I don't care what they say."
A.N.: Oooooh~ tension! Lol. Sorry for the long wait guys. Honestly, I haven't been writing much because I couldn't figure out how I wanted to end this story... The ending to this chapter came to me spontaneously too, but I figured Roy and Riza needed a bit of cute, maybe romantic, moments too. Riza's opening up a bit to Roy :) Other parts of the story will unfold in later chapters. I guess I'll just write and see where it takes me. Please drop a review!
D