epilogue; the morning afterglow

Or, Bets should be made with other people's chips

.-.

The Gintoki-Takasugi wedding happened without too much fuss. Then, of course, came the fabled first night of the marriage, and they were already on the verge of divorce.

"Preposterous," Takasugi snarls, slamming his hand into the headboard as he glowered in his position above Gintoki's naked form. "It says 'Takagin' right in the description. Takagin, not Gintaka. Burn that sight into your illiterate eyes."

After another round of quite literally below-the-belt wrestling, Gintoki succeeds in flipping them over, locking tanned legs under his own. "Oh no you don't. Everyone knows the taller one gets to be the seme in these things, Takachibi-kun."

Takasugi will gladly ensure that he will never be a seme for the rest of his life.

"Relax, I know what I'm doing. I think. I mean, I was drunk, but if I can figure it out while I'm drunk then it shouldn't be a problem when I'm not."

"Get off me this instant or you will have a different problem."

They struggle some more.

Finally, panting and spent from exertion, they collapse in a tangled heap on top of the blankets. Forget who's on top anymore, they're too tired at this point to lift a finger.

"Remind me how we ever thought this would work out."

They still have time to work on it, though. Gintoki knows without seeing that Takasugi isn't unsmiling; his arm draped lazily over Gintoki's stomach blossoms a warmth deep under his skin against the chill of the morning air. They have the rest of the morning and the next morning, and the many mornings after that.

Optimism can be a good thing, but here it only sets them up for the mad scrambling for the covers when a voice punctures through the luxury of the moment.

"A samurai does not give up, Gintoki! Fight on! The future of the Joui rests upon your dick."

There is Katsura, theme song readily playing as he leans against the doorway. His countenance is one of being pleased with himself, as if he had just naturally jumped in to give a well-timed inspirational pep talk. And beside Katsura happened to be Kagura and Shinpachi and Souichirou and Oogushi-kun, and he thinks he even sees Kamui but at this point he's too mortified to look further.

With his renewed strength from the pep talk, Gintoki screams. "How long have you all been here for?!"

"Gin-chan, you have to win! Kamui and I are gonna eat the losers poor-aru."

"Sorry, danna, I would have bet on your side if it didn't put me on the same side as that pig. Oi, Takasugi, there's no way I can afford China's meal and now there's two of them, so we'll use the price on your head to cover it if you lose."

"What do you think you're betting on?! The Shinsengumi demon vice-chief isn't going to take these kids away from this 19+ scenario?"

Hijikata is busy starting a staring contest with Katsura, or at least that's how Katsura interprets it. "Katsura…" he hisses his name just the way Katsura likes it, with three syllables and not two. Maybe he's a keeper. "What was with those damn cheesy lovesick lines you forced out of my mouth?"

"You mean to say you didn't mean them?" Katsura maintains eye contact while he pouts.

Katsura is in his usual male outfit today, but his pout looks the same as Zurako's pout and his eyes are so sparkly like he's about to tear up (because he really needs to blink soon) that Hijikata ends up flustered.

"Ah- yes I did- no I didn't wait- KATSURAAAAA! The other guy reformed but you're still a wanted Jouishishi. You're under arrest!"

"Teehee! Runaway Kotarou mode!"

Okita watches them go. "I wanna chase something too. Yo, space villain dude, I'll give you three seconds to run."

"Hold it, tax thief! Kamui is my prey."

"Oh? You want to run in his stead then?"

"As if! You're the one who's gonna run-aru!"

Kamui smiles and waves from the window as his sister and the interesting earth's policeman disappear down the street. Then he looks around, and his smile freezes in place as he comes to a startling realization: All of the interesting samurai are taken.

Before he goes into a completely justifiable panic, his ahoge twitches to alert to the presence of another interesting person. His ahoge is never off. A moment later a figure appears at the doorway.

"Pardon my intrusion. Isaburo sends his congratulations," Nobume at least gets straight to the point, "He wishes you would answer at least one of them. I apologize as well. I was unaware of Oboro's true intentions and aided him as his stylist."

Gintoki musters a throaty chuckle, waving her off. "All's forgiven. If you come back another day I'll probably serve you tea or something, but it's kind of a bad time right now, you see."

Nobume bows again and takes her leave. She trails behind her an intrigued space villain all the way to the Mimawarigumi compounds, and will find him impossible to shake off from then on.

At the Yorozuya, Gintoki and Takasugi are let alone for a grand total of two seconds. "I just want you to know, I'd let Gin-san top me whenever he wants! It's not too late to change your mind, Gin-san-"

"Excuse us," Tsukuyo inclines her head with a short nod and drags a screeching Sarutobi away.

"Why's it so noisy up there?!"

By now Gintoki is resigned to dealing with the entirety of the show's cast in his flat. Actually, no, he's not resigned at all. "LET US HAVE *** IN PEACE ALREADY!"

Otose smacks the upside of his head. "Hey, Tama, tell me who I should bet on to make enough to cover this good-for-nothing's rent."

"Insufficient data to calculate the probability of Gintoki-sama topping. Will need to observe in closer detail to confirm. Current guess: Gintoki-sama."

"It's Gintoki! Aha!" Having taken a scenic loop around Kabuki-chou, Katsura drops back in through the window with his theme song in tow.

Hijikata joins them two seconds later, out of breath but still able to protest. "No way. It's not over until I see it happen in front of me."

"You're not going to see anything! None of you are!" Gintoki screeches.

It's safe to say that he mostly goes ignored as the room begins to fill up again with both new and veteran faces alike, the noise level increasing by the decibels.

With a final groan, Takasugi buries himself deeper under the covers and wonders if it's too late to go back to destroying the world, after all.

(END)