Chapter 17

Mason, where are you?

He's dead...

No, he's not...no he's not!

They killed him...

No! He's not dead!

He's in hiding, that's why they took you...

He wouldn't allow that, he said he'd have my back...

So he must be dead…

No no no!

Hotch twitched, these thoughts running through his mind over and over again. He yanked at the restrains they had on him; they were itching his skin. His eyes had adjusted to the sunlight that had streamed through the window for a few hours now.

The "Doctor" had come by earlier and raised the head of his bed a little asking him questions about himself. Did he know his name? Where he was? Did he know the people in the room? Was he comfortable and if he needed anything?

Sure, untie me and tell me where my brother is. Was what he wanted to say, but gave her a look that would peel paint instead.

He looked around the room, all the BAU team members had left except for the oldest one who sat low in a chair near his bed nursing what must have been cold coffee by now and watching him with a careful inquisitive look.

There had been introductions earlier when one of the female agents had asked him if he remembered them and was left with his flat look as a response.

Mason had never showed him pictures of these people and he never thought to look for any himself; the BAU being a vague "big bad wolf" in his mind...no faces no names.

It's me Hotch, Prentiss...Emily."

They did a roll call for his benefit,

"Garcia will be back soon". said the tall dark skinned man who had introduced himself as Morgan.

She volunteered to talk to Jessica, let her know in person how you're doing. The man had paused there.

"Jessica and Jack…they missed you, Hotch. Do you…do you remember Jack?"

Hotch had ignored what the man was saying, throwing names at him was a useless tactic. He knew what they were trying to do and he wasn't about to fall for it again.

Reid and Jareau had rounded up the bunch; Hotch's eyes flitting to her blonde hair for a split second.

Very shiny...

His attention then lasered in on Reid.

"You're the one who tried to shoot me." he stated flatly at the young man whose face paled visibly.

"Hotch, I…"

"Guess I should have pushed down a little harder with my knife." Hotch smiled.

Eventually, after whispering to each other, they left leaving the last man standing, or sitting per se. The man seemed content to just sit there and watch him.

"I'm Dave..Dave Rossi."

Their staring match lasted awhile, then finally the older man cleared his throat and sat up a little more in the chair glancing at the untouched tray near the bed.

"You didn't eat your breakfast." he remarked.

"Where's my brother?" Hotch cut to the chase.

The man twitched slightly at those words as he rested his coffee cup down on the nearby side table.

"Your brother...Sean?" he asked slowly. "He's overseas right now, he's trying to get a flight back as soon as possible. He was happy to hear you'll be fine."

Hotch twisted his wrists against the restraints.

"You didn't answer the doctor when she asked earlier." Rossi continued. "I know you don't remember us, but do you remember your name?"

Oh here we go...

"I don't know, Agent Rossi …" Hotch snarked, "Do you still have me as your fearless leader or am I to be someone else this time?"

Rossi's mouth quirked slightly at Hotch's tone; his usually stoic friend, now lay in front of him dripping of sarcasm and obvious frustration.

Rossi slowly reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small leather bound wallet opening it and laying it on Hotch's lap.

Hotch glared at the older man, then slowly lowered his gaze to see an FBI i.d., with a picture of himself in a suit.

Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner

Hotchner...so that's why they keep calling me Hotch...

"We found it in the woods near where Ezral abducted you.

Hotch's amused look wasn't lost on Rossi.

"What's so funny?" he asked Hotch.

"That you would think to put me in a suit, guess I had to look the part."

The older agent sighed.

"Mason Ezral is not your brother, Hotch."

Hotch's eyes flashed at the older man's abrupt statement, then went dark and flat and Rossi knew he hit the nail on the head when he saw an expression that he never saw before slip onto his friend's face making Rossi subconsciously lean back in his chair. It was an expression that made him remember that Hotch if pushed could be a very dangerous man.

"And I..." hissed Hotch quietly, "...am not who you think I am."

Two days had passed and Hotch was ready to chew his arm off just to finally get rid of the restraints. The doctor had noticed the chafing on Hotch's wrists and ankles and while he had slept had the restraints exchanged for softer ones.

He had had more visitors, an older woman with short dirty blonde hair, she was blunt, her eyes never leaving Hotch's face.

We know what Ezral did to you.

"Agent Hotchner..." she had stepped forward, standing near the end of the bed.

"You have to help us here, we want to help you, but you're putting us all in a very difficult situation. You need to open your mouth and say something! Do you remember what you did? What Ezral did to you?"

The way Hotch stared made Strauss feel like he was dissecting her.

"Aaron, can you hear me?" she finally had to ask.

When he remained mute, Strauss' frustration grew and she opened a file she was holding and pulled a picture from it holding it up for Hotch to see.

"Who are protecting, him?"

The picture of Ezral lying on the slab in the morgue was in glossy colour, the autopsy sutures prominent along with the two bullet holes on his upper left chest.

"This is the man who put you in here, not us! He's dead so you need to..."

Strauss suddenly stopped as she watched an unnamed emotion unpack itself across her agent's face, making her words freeze in her mouth...she tried to apologize.

"I...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have..."

When Hotch saw the bullet wounds, a tidal wave of something that was beyond fury crashed through him...

They killed his brother...

They killed his..

They killed...

...Mason

Hotch saw red.

The last thing he remembered was the chaotic blaring of the machines around him and his visitor's frightened face as she was pulled away from the bed and he was sedated once again.

When he awoke it was to the soft humming of a woman and the clicking sound as her fingers made their way across the laptop keyboard that she had set up on his side table.

Well this is new.

He couldn't help but smile slightly; the woman was blonde, but with streaks of colour through her hair; pink, orange...was that purple too? Her dress and jewelry were garish, too bright for his tastes.

Garcia felt the back of her neck tingling and looked up to see Hotch quietly watching her.

Sir, you're awake!" she cautiously smiled. It had been hours since he was sedated, she hated seeing him so still, so quiet.

She closed her laptop then hesitantly stood, clasping her hands together.

"Are you okay? Do you need me to get the doctor?"

Hotch continued to silently stare.

He needed more information.

Garcia swallowed heavily, "Maybe I should get the doctor."

"No." Hotch's voice was soft.

Garcia forced her smile to remain on her lips. The team was on suspension until the whole debacle with Hotch had been cleared up; they had been called to the Director's office for a meeting with some of the "higher-ups", to discuss their roles in the events leading up to Hotch's return and the secrecy involved regarding the photos and Hotch's potential part in the disappearances and murders of five women.

Garcia had had her moment earlier in the frightening round table meeting of sour faces so had volunteered to stay with Hotch.

"Are you sure?" Morgan had asked her. He was shocked and angry that Strauss had been so reckless in showing Hotch the picture of Ezral's corpse; he wasn't surprised the way Hotch reacted; Strauss had messed up and Hotch had to be sedated…again.

"We'll be fine." Garcia assured him.

"I would have been here before, sir, but I was with Jessica….and Jack. I was letting them know you were okay."

Bingo!

He remembered what Morgan had told him.

"Garcia." he smiled, the grin he received in return, his confirmation.

"You..you remember me, sir?"

"I..I think so." Hotch feigned as he looked around the room.

Good, they were alone.

He leaned towards her, "Garcia, I need to get out of here."

"Oh..uh sir, you're still..recuperating."

"I'm fine." he stressed still trying to keep the smile on his face, it felt toxic. "But, these restraints," he yanked his arms, "Garcia; are they really necessary?"

"The Director thinks so."

Anger flickered quietly through Hotch.

"Okay, I get why one would think that, I've been out of sorts and.."

"Sir, you tried to kill Reid!" she blurted causing Hotch to blink, his thoughts stalling for a moment, then,

Garcia paled, "Sir, I'm sorry, I..."

"No, you're right, I did, but to be fair he was shooting at me first and I didn't know who he was. I was protecting myself."

"But you're remembering now?"

He could sense the goodness in her. The I-see-the-good-in-every-man that was his one way ticket out of there.

"Yes," Hotch nodded. "Things are coming back in pieces, but yes I'm starting to remember." he chuckled softly. "I'd be able to concentrate more if I could just feel my hands, can you at least loosen them a little? The nurse who put them on went a little overboard, I'm starting to lose feeling in them." his smile widened and he cocked his head to the side as he gently pulled at the restraints.

Garcia was torn; Morgan had told her everything that happened to Hotch and that for now Hotch definitely wasn't himself and to be wary. He was right, she didn't think her boss could even smile, especially after all what happened to him and here he was smiling away at her looking like a charming schoolboy, his hair much longer than his usual cut, his eyes boyish, playful almost. It was creepy and great to see all at the same time...

"Please, I'm feeling better now." he motioned to the restraints.

He remembered who she was, maybe the good Hotch was coming back to them, not the man she saw in those photos who was probably drugged or forced to do what he did. Making up her mind up, Garcia smiled and loosened the restraints, but just slightly.

Better safe than sorry.

As she sat back down, Hotch subtly tested the restraints.

Perfect.

"You're the best, thanks for watching over me." he smiled as he slowly attempted to pull one hand free.

"Wild horses, sir" she beamed, "Wild horses..."

-TBC-

Hope you're enjoying the story so far. Let me know what you think. Reviews help me know if I'm on the right track or not. :)