Chapter 33: Shattered Stars

ELLE'S POV

Elle blinked and the blackness cleared, leaving her standing at the edge of one of the outcroppings on either side of her little inlet home. Dark Hollow wasn't far off, and she could feel the Shadow's magic looming, not quite upon her anymore but at the edges. Someone cleared their throat in annoyance and thinly veiled impatience, and she looked down. And then wished she hadn't. Two mermaids rested their arms on the rocks below her, tops of their tails on the rocks but the rest trailing in the water behind them. One wore an expression of impatience and expectance. The other just looked pitying. Elle didn't know which was worse.

"Going to say where you just were?" Liebe asked, eyebrow arched. Her hair, pitch black, was tied tightly in a ponytail starting on the top of her head, but it still trailed down her spine to just a few inches above where her light skin morphed into glowing blue-green scales.

Elle sighed, and slumped to her knees, getting as level with the two as possible. "You know where," she mumbled, hoping Liebe wouldn't hear and at the same time hoping she would and then drop it.

She made a long, exasperated noise in her throat, dark brown eyes narrowing. "Elle, dearest, you must stop this," she insisted, beginning her usual rant. "It has been months, and you do this more and more frequently. It is not safe, you will be caught and neither we nor the Shadow and I daresay nor yourself will be able to help you then."

The other mermaid placed her palm on Liebe's arm, stopping her. Elle would have been grateful for it, had it not been just so she could take her turn to lecture her. Liebe pursed her lips but quieted. The other opened her mouth.

"Stop, Jägerin," Elle cut her off, barely concealing the plea in her voice. "Please," she sighed, feeling physically drained. They were right, continuing this habit was dangerous for her. In more than the physical way. She broke her own heart over and over again.

"Elle," Jägerin's voice was soft, but firm. "It was just every few weeks at first, but this is the third time in the last seven days. More and more often, and I see it is taking its toll." She paused, and tilted her head both in curiosity and to catch the girl's dark blue-grey downcast eyes with her own light grey ones. Elle almost smirked, they matched bother her mood and the sky.

Elle looked up at the clouds, they seemed to come more and more often lately. Neverland was changing. At first, the nights had been darker. She could still see the moon and stars every night, shining brightly, but their lights didn't seem to reach the island. It was that way every night since she ran away and hid herself.

But then the cloudy days had come. Only a few in the several months she'd been here, but she had never seen one before. She'd entertained the idea that he was creating them, but she had dismissed that immediately. He was probably just grumpy at losing a tool of his. And again, there were very few, so he wasn't even consistently upset. She also reasoned that it was an island after all, it needed moisture and rain at some time to grow plants.

She stood and turned to climb over the long stretch of jagged, messily placed rocks back to the shore, back to her camp, ignoring the two mermaids.

Jägerin huffed, and slid off the rocks and into the water, leaving her and Liebe. Liebe's mouth fell open and her brows creased, trying to form a question but she was too late. She looked torn between calling to Elle and going after her sister.

Liebe dove into the water. Elle didn't even care to look back. Yes, she loved the mermaids and they were her company, protectors, and friends nowadays, but this habit always hurt and she wasn't in the mood to talk or be happy.

About halfway back, another head popped out of the water, but this one wasted no time in pulling her body up as far as she could. Elle stopped and raised one hand, palm out, just in case she was acting on bloodlust and going to try to drown her. That hadn't happened yet, but these rocks were sharp and Elle was, as always, barefoot. Just a small cut would do it.

The mermaid stopped, though, once she rested on her folded arms a foot below Elle, glowing tail stretched out down the side of the makeshift walkway. Elle could see where the fin started to form, a quick bit of shock zapping through her at how high she was. And how strong Grazie was to pull herself up. Elle stopped and looked down forlornly. Grazie may be her closest friend on the island besides—well, she was her closest friend. But she didn't want to talk now.

"Why?" the question startled Elle. She tilted her head and climbed down a few rocks to sit closer, intrigued. Grazie tossed her black, glossy curls over her shoulder, dark skin shimmering with the slowly-setting sun. "Why do you do it?"

Elle wrapped her arms around her calves, and rested her cheek on the drawn-up knees. Staring into Grazie's green eyes, heavy with sympathy but glittering with genuine curiosity. Maybe it was Grazie's honest compassion for Elle, the fact that she really was interested in Elle's feelings and reasons, not just lecturing her to stop in account of her safety, that made Elle speak up.

"I miss them. All of them," she'd never said why. No one had asked, not even the Shadow. Her throat tightened, but she owed this to Grazie. The mermaids had taken her in, far more than some of them wanted to. Of the seven mermaids of Neverland, Elle knew Diana Rose did not fully trust her, and Jägerin still had a few hesitations as well. They spoke of two others, Ariel and Arista, but Elle had never met them. "Every single one," she finished, pronouncing each word, so that both she and Grazie understood.

"Elle…" Grazie trailed, frowning slightly, seeming unsure. She placed her damp palm on Elle's shoulder, trying to comfort her. Elle appreciated it, and leaned into it slightly, but she didn't want to hear what she was sure Grazie wanted to say. Was supposed to say.

"I keep myself completely cloaked," she urged, voice sounding urgent and straining against her throat. "He doesn't even sense me, even when I'm close by. None of them do. It's been months, I know how to do it without any of your help, even the Shadow leaves me alone."

She'd quickly learned how to hide herself, in every way possible. To explain it best, the mermaids had describe it as an invisible cloak she wore. Tied and with the hood up, the cloak hid her in every way possible. No living creature—fairy, mermaid, human, or even animal—could see or hear her, or even feel her. Only the Shadow could detect her no matter what, but perhaps because his magic was even older and less known than the mermaids'. And he was the one to mainly teach her, the morning after she had run away. With time, she learned how to wear the cloak but lower the hood, as the mermaids explained. She could reveal herself to certain beings, such as the mermaids, while remaining hidden from others. Even he couldn't feel her aura, or hear her footsteps or feel her presence. Of course, it was more difficult if she used more magic, such as transporting or playing with the mermaids, but she had gotten practice on that too. It had been a long, long time.

"I know, I know," Grazie soothed, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

"I just watch, I just want to make sure my brothers are alright," she whispered. Grazie didn't say anything, and Elle became lost in her most recent memory. Grazie probably knew it, but she let her anyway.

Elle walked slowly through the forest, bare feet padding against dirt and leaves and twigs but she jumped to keep her weight off of twigs that looked ready to snap. Not like anything would hear it anyway. Her magic cloak was fully up, not even the mermaids could find her now. Still, she knew they knew where she was going. She couldn't help it.

Stepping hesitantly out of the trees and into the clearing, Elle stood beside a tent. Curly and Slightly's, she remembered affectionately. She still remembered who slept in which tent, and, as she looked around, whose weapons were whose lying about.

Joshua sat with Robert, the two skinning a deer they must have caught earlier. Elle scrunched her nose; after all these years she was used to it and now did it herself but it still wasn't a pleasant task. Both were quiet, shoulders hunched, and Elle thought they were concentrating. She felt s mile tug at the corners of her lips, but it was too weak to stay for more than a blink of Joshua's eyes.

She turned and stepped out of the clearing, walking slowly along in a different direction, still far before the Lost Boys' boundaries, casting out her own senses. She wasn't him, but she was more powerful—she was sure of that now, with how well this cloaking magic worked—than he and had been in Neverland long enough to be able to feel a bit. She felt the magic of Dead Man's Peak, Dark Hollow, the mermaids, but she heard footsteps. She followed, and found Colin walking just as carefully as her, arrow notched and ready in a bow.

Elle stayed with him for a while, mimicking his footsteps almost exactly as he searched and stalked and hunted, oblivious to her presence. She noticed changes in all the boys, but Colin's made her feel differently. Felix's, Daniel's, and Harry's hurt the most, but Colin's….Perhaps it was because she still kept his secret, after all this time, and he never owned up to it. No. She wasn't bitter about that. She would face exile over and over if it gave a lonely, lost boy a chance at family and belonging.

Maybe it was because she had watched him closely over her many, many secret visits. He was withdrawn before, but he had been beginning to open up, be braver, many times for her. Colin, she had heard later, had told him his observations when she was healing from the pirates, rather dangerous observations. He had even stood up for her directly to him, pleading to him to let her stay. She knew he wasn't a very good liar, he had risked a lot just by talking to him about her.

He was redeemed in her mind, yet when she watched him during her visits, he was a turtle deep in his shell. And if Elle saw an expression openly on his face, one she saw on the other boys sometimes, but the most clearly on his. He looked sad, and hurt, and a bit scared. She tilted her body to look into his face now. There was anger there, too. The look seemed familiar. She'd seen it in novels, and in an evil man's face, but also when she bent over the rocks and looked into the momentarily-still water.

It was heartbreak.

Elle stood and looked down at Grazie. She tried to ignore the confused, worried, and slightly hurt expression on the girl's perfect face, complete with curls threatening to tumble into it. "I'm going to go," Elle stumbled, shoving the words out of her stomach. "I did some hunting, I should take care of it."

Grazie nodded and smiled gently. "Alright. Call if you wish to play, or talk some more. You are my friend," she slid back into the water, keeping her dark bronze hand outstretched.

"And I may go see the Shadow," Elle added as an afterthought, already climbing the rocks. "Some magic lessons," she reasoned. Or just the Shadow's unique kind of company, would help her. She didn't tell Grazie or any of the mermaids this, they would only see it as further harm to herself. It was, in all definitions, but they didn't understand. Elle never wanted to lose him.

Reaching the shore, Elle left her figurative hood down so the mermaids could see her. She knew one or two were most likely watching from afar, by magic or their own eyes, since Diana Rose kept to her suspicions and did not trust easily.

Stepping over her fire pit at the edge of the tree line, Elle reached the tree about three rows in from the beach, and climbed up her handmade rope ladder to her treehouse. It wasn't anything grand, more of a hut really, stretched out over a few branches that were thick enough and close enough together that she didn't even need magic to help hold the structure up. Still, she sometimes cast a holding spell overnight, just in case. It had taken months, almost all of her time so far. She'd tried to use as little magic as possible, both to keep herself hidden and for the practice to see if all of her lessons had actually paid off. They did, if she said so herself. She'd hacked at the trees with her knife until she could pull apart planks of bark. It would have probably been better if she had cut a tree down, but she didn't have an axe. The rough, uneven, but strong planks were bound to each other and to the branches with rope she had tied herself, and the whole thing was covered with a roof of wide, flat leaves tied together.

Inside was small, a mattress made of two boar skins and filled with leaves and grass in a corner, weapons and food preserves and tools she made piled along the wall. The rest of the space, just long enough for her to lie flat across, she used for cleaning her kills or findings, or practicing magic, or something when she didn't want to be in view, regardless of the cloaking spell.

She sat cross-legged in the middle of the hut, the two squirrels she'd caught sprawled next to her. She didn't need to eat right now, so she skinned them carefully and dried out the meat, just as she had been taught. She smirked when she almost gagged, she still didn't like this no matter how many times she'd done it. When they were done, ready to be stored away for at least a day, Elle realized the sun had only just set, leaving Neverland's sky swathed in both lavender and indigo.

The mermaids were far more prone to their bloodlust once the sun set, since night was when they hunted for any food. Elle had been present before, but she didn't want to risk them now. The rope ladder was hanging in front of her, her bare feet were on the forest floor, and she was taking a few steps back before she had even processed what she wanted. She wanted to go see the Shadow.

Dark Hollow looked eerie at night, even more than during the day, yet somehow it felt safer to Elle when it was darker. Perhaps because, in the bright light of the sun, every limb, every piece of dry dirt, and the bleakness and death of the whole place was stark and promising. Not a threat of death, but a reality: death was here, it did meet all who came, it was certain. The darkness blurred the outlines of the trees and made each straight line seem softer, even though Elle's magic and time on the island accustomed her to see well under any moon. Or maybe that was just her strange conviction that, despite the Shadow's capabilities and reputation, she did not fear him.

Despite the Shadow coming to her every few days, Elle could count on one hand how many times she had stepped into Dark Hollow, or even into the dome of tree limbs. So she hesitated when both her feet were on the dirt, and felt the Shadow's mysterious, yet natural magic flood over her. He flew from the tiny, jagged spaces between branches and came down to be almost level with her, holding himself horizontally to match her eyes with his glowing ones.

"Princess," he greeted, not unkindly. He tilted his head, "I assume you aren't in the mood for mermaid lectures," he chuckled, voice silky yet laced with venom, as always. Elle was used to it, it didn't send cold shivers down her spine anymore. She just shook her head and bit back a shudder. That voice wasn't threatening to her, but it was not the most comforting of sounds either. And he had an uncanny skill for reading her thoughts.

"I was safe and hidden, I don't know why you are all so upset," she sighed, gritting her teeth. He chuckled again, leaning back to right himself.

"I do not doubt you," he said simply, just looking at her. Elle felt something twist and turn in her stomach, not entirely unpleasantly. The Shadow did this sometimes, just looked at her with a blank, hooded expression on his silhouette of a face. It always sent flashed of brown eyes that used to give her that same look.

"How about a game," he pulled her from her reverie. A small, golden object appeared in his black palm. It spread thin, delicate wings and hoisted itself into the air. Elle knew the game, and took off at a sprint after it. The little sphere twirled through branches and bushes, wings and body flashing in the moonlight, the Shadow's long, dark body mimicking its movements in slower motion. After a few minutes—or maybe it was even days, Elle lost track of time as she sped through the forest, feeling a bit of happiness, or freedom, tickle the back of her mind—of flying in one direction, the Shadow and Elle were now tied, the Shadow bent and dove into the earth. He melted and cut into it, as if diving into water with no splash.

"Hey," Elle called, feeling a laugh begin in her stomach but not quite reaching up her throat. Mid-stride, she transported herself just a few steps ahead of where the Shadow would appear. She calculated correctly, darkness clearing from her vision to reveal the Shadow's chuckle behind her and her outstretched fingertips brushing against the sphere. "Cheaters never win," she gloated back to him, throwing herself forward. Her finger wrapped around the golden ball, its wings fluttering between them. Then the front of her body hit the ground and she groaned, both at the impact and the sudden, large wave of magic covering her, forcing her down.

Elle managed to roll herself onto her back, but was still pinned. The Shadow was leaning over her, white eyes burning. "You must be careful, Princess," he said slowly, voice low. Realization dawned on her, and she focused on her magic. The spell had slipped, probably when she had transported. Her eyes widened and she felt her own magic push at his, hair glowing brighter and taking over again.

"Well, if you would stop always urging me to use more magic, it makes the spell slip," she retorted indignantly once the spell had settled over her again. Sometimes she really wondered if he did it on purpose, making her cloak drop. He was an extension of him after all, and they liked games. The Shadow stayed quiet. "How much?" her voice shook slightly, unnerved by the lack of response. She curled her legs under her and sat up, but stayed hunched low to the ground.

"Your voice could be heard, but that is all. You're safe, now," his voice seemed thick, heavy with more to say or think, but Elle felt a heavy weight return to her, one which had nothing to do with magic. The Shadow picked up on her thoughts, or the emotions showed on her face. "He still searches."

"Yes," Elle remembered. But she saw him appearing around the island, glancing around with his eyes wide and breathing slightly heavy, less and less. After the first month, he was almost always at the camp when she dared a visit.

Just one more time. Just one more, the third. Three times, stretched over a month, couldn't be so bad. Elle just missed them, the mermaids couldn't really expect her to live without ever seeing her brother. She knew she couldn't talk to them, of course, but she just had to see them. Running clumsily through the forest, Elle tried to focus on the cloaking spell but she had to hurry to the camp and back before one of the mermaids noticed her absence. Still, she felt the light, steady weight of the Shadow's magic, helping to keep the spell. She was grateful for it, at least he understood her need and allowed her to never occurred to her to really wonder why.

Her bare feet skidded to a stop, kicking up dust and being scraped by twigs littering the ground. Her hands shot out and grabbed at the bark of a tree in front of her, catching herself before pressing into the trunk to hide. Daniel was leaning against the other side, arms crossed and glancing around every few seconds. Elle's heart, already fast and hard against her chest, leapt into her throat and she pressed her lips together to keep it from slipping out. He just looked around, occasionally fidgeting, like he was watching or waiting. Elle had no idea what for, and for a few moments was just happy to look at him.

But it was only a few moments before she couldn't take it anymore. Before looking at him, alone and expectant and a bit nervous, was too much. Too tempting. He was alone. She wanted to just reach out, pull the magic hood down and have him see her, hear her, talk to her. Remind her she wasn't alone, that he still loved her as much as she loved him, and that this wasn't forever. That it wouldn't hurt forever and she wouldn't be scared but strong forever.

But he never did. And she never reached out. She turned and kept walking further into the forest, struggling to yank air into her lungs and past her dry lips, sandpaper tongue, and closed throat.

She had collected herself by the time she ran into Harry. Not literally, of course. She stepped over a tree root and looked up, and there he was. He stood there, front facing to the side so she saw him in profile. He had his arrow notched and was walking with deliberate but quiet steps, chewing absentmindedly on his lower lip as his blue eyes wide and alert. Elle smiled softly, watching the little boy who was so much older than he looked hunt. They all were, herself included, so much older than they looked. Elle felt like she was much older, but when she looked into water and saw her face, she looked the same.

She walked alongside Harry as he hunted, just glad to see him and be around the kid. The longer she watched—minutes, hours, she had no idea—the more she noticed something off. She remembered Harry, he was always so talkative and energetic and happy. Now, though alert, he didn't seem as happy, as free. He seemed tired, and Elle noticed purple bruises under his eyes. His shoulders were slightly hunched. Elle felt a stab of sadness, but knew there was nothing she could do. She reached out, sliding the cloak off of her, she just wanted to touch him, to comfort him, to find out what was wrong and how she could fix it.

The Shadow swooped silently from the tops of the trees, but Harry didn't see him. Elle did, her eyes met his glowing white ones. He was still, staring at her, he didn't speak for fear of the Lost Boy below him realizing his presence. Elle pulled her hand back to her side, cloaking spell slipping back over her. He flew away, and she turned and walked in another direction without looking back at Harry.

Elle brushed herself off, said a short goodbye to the Shadow, and began the walk back to her home. The moon was completely out now, so she walked quickly but silently, undetectable as usual. She didn't feel hungry, she didn't want to go cook herself dinner, another meal shared only with herself. Not even the mermaids ate with her, but they had their own diets anyway. Besides, Elle didn't want to speak to them yet, not even sweet, compassionate Grazie.

Elle gasped and stopped short when she looked up to find herself face to face with Daniel. He was looking straight at her, attentive and hopeful. All she could do was stare, speechless. The cloaking spell was still completely on, she could feel it, an invisible, heavy cloak. But his blue eyes were piercing, and she felt something warm and large bubble inside her, rising to her lips.

"Daniel," a deep, gravelly voice drawled. Elle whipped around, following Daniel's line of sight. Her heart stopped then, she was sure of it. Felix was stepping over a root, hood up, shoulders hunched and face tilted down. Elle was so happy, yet so incredibly sad. Felix walked right past her, his shoulder brushing against hers, but he didn't react. He walked past Daniel, who fell into step next to him and the two strode into the woods. Elle followed, she couldn't lose her brothers just yet. It hurt, every step ripped open her chest and made her vision blur, but she missed them so much it was impossible to leave.

"So now what?" Daniel asked, puzzled. Their voices were low, not quite secretive but certainly not for all ears. This made Elle even more encouraged to follow them.

"We wait," Felix said simply. He continued, "Pan says the truest Believer isn't born yet, but we will find him when he is." A pang went through the middle of Elle's chest at his name, but she didn't let her steps falter and kept up with the boys, despite Felix's typical long strides.

"When will that be?" Daniel seemed a bit doubtful, Elle frowned. When had the Lost Boys ever doubted him?

"Pan never fails, Daniel," Felix cast a smirk down to him, in that moment looming over Daniel as if he were hundreds of feet taller instead of just a few inches. Elle shrank back a bit.

"What about Bae?"

"What about him?" Felix countered. Elle had never met Bae, but she remembered Curly telling her about him. He had come ashore when she was in exile, and left before she returned, apparently. However, he had allegedly been on the pirates' ship long before. Elle scowled, not liking him automatically.

"We plundered Hook's ship for him," Daniel argued. "He was important, Pan said it was him."

"They look similar, and Pan believes there's a connection," Felix amended. "We don't have to wait long, the curse has already been cast. Just a little while ago."

"When she—" Daniel began to ask, but Felix cut him off with a sharp look. Both their mouths twisted into grimaces, but Daniel took a long breath and reworded his question. "Before or after?"

"Right after," Felix mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. The two walked in silence for a bit, Elle following. Daniel opened his mouth right as a boy appeared in front of them, face stony. Elle looked up, wondering why the Lost Boys had stopped. Her eyes met his, and she could have sworn they saw her, focused on her. She didn't wait to be certain, she turned and ran, forgetting about her brothers and focusing only on getting away. She glanced back a few times as she crossed the whole island, the fastest she ever had, but she saw no sign of him following.

She stopped running when her bare feet splashed in the shallow tide at her inlet. Doubled over, panting, Elle was thankful that no mermaids or Shadow greeted her. That was too close. But he hadn't come after her…perhaps he hadn't detected her. Was she really that powerful?

Elle knelt, curled in on herself, in the ankle-deep water, ignoring the saltwater wetting her torn, bleached, stained dress up to her thighs, ignoring how it would make the dress stiff, her face wet from the spray. She pulled out the necklace Michael had made for her, so long ago, and held the pendant in her palms, resting her hands on her water-veiled knees. She traced over it with her fingertips.

Elle curled up on her side in her little cot, fingers tangled in the necklace, gripping it so tightly her knuckles paled further. She fell asleep, and every time she woke up, she held it tighter.