Things That Would've Been

At age 2, he would've been his grandparents' favourite grandchild. They would've given him tons and tons of toys for his birthday and for Christmas, and he would've been one hell of a spoiled child.

At age 3, he would've become a big brother. And even though he wouldn't have gotten that much attention anymore, he would've adored his little brother, even more than he would've adored his parents.

At age 5, he would've been confronted with death for the first time when his dog would've died of old age. He would've cried for hours when his mom would've told him that Eddie was gone forever.

At age 6, he would've met Cas in primary school. They would've become best friends immediately, and their mothers would've joked about them being more like brothers than like friends.

At age 8, under the old oak tree, Cas and him would've sworn to be best friends forever. And even if they wouldn't have known that then, they would've kept that promise, but in another way than they would've imagined.

At age 11, he would've kissed Cas under the same old oak tree, just to know what kisses feel like. And when he would've kissed the blonde girl from next door a few days later, it wouldn't have felt half as good.

At age 14, when Cas would've gotten his first girlfriend, he would've realized that he didn't like him as friend but as something more. He would've lied awake for hours and night, thinking about that kiss from three years earlier and wondering what it would feel like now.

At age 15, he finally would've mustered up the courage to tell Cas what he feels like. He would've been the happiest boy in the world when Cas would've told him that he felt the same and would've kissed him right on the lips.

At age 16, he would've come out to his parents and they would've loved him regardless.

At age 18, he would've graduated high school, and he would've watched Cas giving his graduation speech, wondering how you can be so in love with someone.

At age 20, he would've cried into Cas' chest when his father would've passed away after a heart attack. Cas would've held him for hours, without saying a word, and he would've realized that one day, he would marry him.

At age 24, he would've graduated from college, barely passing the last exams, and Cas would've surprised him with the keys to an apartment he rented for them together.

At age 26, he would've breathed out a yes, tears of a pure happiness streaming down his face, when Cas would've kneeled down in front of him and would've asked him to marry him.

At age 27, he would've walked down an aisle in a black suit worth a month's salary. He would've breathed out another yes before kissing Cas as hard as he could.

At age 30, he would've adopted a beautiful baby girl. They would've called her Clara, because that means bright, and she would've had a bright, happy future.

At age 48, he would've watched Clara graduate, holding his husband's hand and cheering as she would've given her graduation speech, just as Cas would've done years earlier.

At age 60, he would've held his beautiful grandson, and he would've made him the same spoiled and happy kid he would've been as a child.

At age 82, he would've died of old age; just days after Cas would've passed away. He would've just fallen asleep and never woken up again.

But at age 1, he dies of pneumonia.

And so all those things stay things that would've been but never were.