A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, or Valkyrie. I don't own Paul Young either. Val's still 24 and story is still her POV.

Madam Lovegate was waiting for me in her office, the tea ready. She came forward to embrace me. "I heard about the dreadful thing that was sent to the Sanctuary. But don't worry, you'll both be kept here until this madman is caught. I hope it didn't frighten you, dear. You know he'd do anything to remain by your side if he could."

I suppressed a frown. She was offering an opening, a chance to talk about my feelings for Skulduggery. But I hated talking about my feelings with anyone, and how Skulduggery and I got along was really none of her business. For a woman who specialized in love, she didn't know the first thing about how it affected me. "I've often thought of doing things like that to him, to be honest."

She made a clucking sound as she poured the tea. She pushed a plate of small pastries towards me and I politely took one. "That doesn't mean you don't love him. But tell me, does this help the case?"

Again, with the love. Was she making subtle digs? I wondered if she was really being friendly, but kept my face neutral as Skulduggery had taught me. "We don't know yet. We need to see what forensics comes back with. We don't even know who the victim was. Hopefully he wasn't alive in the way Skulduggery is."

"He, my dear?"

"The eye sockets, and the hip structure, I'm assuming he's male."

"Ah, and it didn't bother you at all seeing a skeleton everyone assumed was Skulduggery mutilated like that?" Now that was a dig.

"Of course it bothered me, but I can process that later. Right now we have a case to solve."

She shook her head. "You two are the strangest couple this Sanctuary has ever seen. You constantly insult one another, you argue, you have a blatant disregard for the niceties and sweetness that should rule any relationship."

"We're very nice to each other, Madam Lovegate. I punch him in training all the time and he returns the favor."

"You're always making jokes, but this is serious my child."

"I am serious."

"No, you're not. You two are the same. You think your quick wits and clever comebacks will get you out of anything, but they won't. You can't talk your way out of this one. The armour will get you where you need to go if you can keep your love in the forefront, but what happens if he says he doesn't love you?"

"He did." I stated flatly. The lie was worth the look of shock on her face. Because for one instant I'd seen the malicious joy in her eyes. I shrugged and stood to go. "No big deal. We're still partners and I'm fine with that."

"But the armour. Oh, girl, the armour."

Ghastly greeted me in his office. The box and everything else has been moved. "And how was Madam Lovegate?" He asked, teasingly.

I barked with laughter. "Other than she's apparently a Paul Young fan, I didn't get much out of her. How does she stay here if she doesn't actually do anything, Ghastly?"

Ghastly shook his head. "I wondered how long until her romantic nonsense got to you. She just goes on and on about love, I honestly don't know how you stood it this long. Still, she does make wise decisions even if she is a bit barmy."

"Wait, she's crazy?"

"Well, yes, actually. I hope you haven't been taking actual advice from her."

Skulduggery snorted. "Why, Elder Bespoke, would Valkyrie ever do a thing like that? She only asked the woman's advice about that armour, advice which," he turned to me, "I hope you know, Valkyrie, is as much her own fantasy as reality. Don't believe everything she tells you, just the stuff I agree with."

"What?"

Skulduggery waved a dismissive hand, laughing. "Please. She's only kept on at this Sanctuary because she's harmless. She's the Elder who would never start a war. She loves everyone too much."

I glanced over at Tanith, who shrugged. "Well I did hear she is, well, a bit daft, but she is sweet."

"So anything she told me was a lie?"

"Not a lie." Ghastly said. "Just her own version of the truth. All we know about her is what you know. She fought on the battlefields, she was known as the Grey Angel for her grey armour. But after a key battle she shut down, never lifted a sword again."

"The next thing we knew," he continued, "was that she was making love philtres and other nonsense. She is at the Sanctuary in gratitude for her service, but honestly, other than her healing work, she doesn't do much. But she is, as Skulduggery said, the voice of reason."

"But how did she pick up a sword then and fight me?"

Skulduggery looked at me. "Magic, Valkyrie. Most likely like your own armour. The sword did the fighting, not her. Not that she isn't highly skilled, but if that magic broke..."

"Which brings us to your armour, Valkyrie." Ghastly cut in. " You boots should be ready soon, or they will be if I can get out of this blasted Sanctuary."

"Why should you get to leave when we're trapped here?" I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

"That's exactly what I said Valkyrie. The man will get no sympathy from me."

Ghastly sighed. "I'm keeping you both here for your own good, Skulduggery. You might not care that a serial killer wants you dead-"

"He gets his wish then, I am dead."

"But as annoying and abrasive as you can be at times, as an Elder-"

"Forget you're an Elder." Skulduggery said. "Let us do our job. We can't arrest him if you keep us cooped up in here."

Ghastly sighed. "Valkyrie, tell the nice man in the good suit that I made him why you can't leave."

"Because you won't let us."

"Fine. If you're both going to kick up a fuss you can leave. I don't suppose you really are any safer here if he wants you dead."

"That's the spirit." Skulduggery cheerfully agreed.

We were both giddy over our newly won freedom as we got in the Bentley. Skulduggery grinned over at me. "Seat belt, and well done, by the way. I've never seen Ghastly cave in so fast."

He started the car and I relaxed back into my seat. "It was a team effort. If we were both difficult he'd get nothing done with us there. "

"Then I've taught you well. Our superior negotiation skills won our freedom."

"I thought it was our whining."

Skulduggery glanced sideways at me. "Negotiation skills. Children whine, adults negotiate."

He kept up this level of nonsense until we reached his house. But instead of heading in, he turned off the engine and leaned back in the seat. "I could meditate right here." He sighed, stretching out his long frame. Skulduggery pulled his hat down low over his eye sockets and sighed again. "But I can't, can I? If you were a good partner you'd carry me inside. Why weren't you born a boy?"

"Because I'm cuter as a girl?"

"Well, yes, there is that."

"And Madam Lovegate would have no one to foist tea on if I wasn't a girl?"

He laughed. "True. What did she go on about this time?"

"The armour, and then she started in on this speech about love, she frightened me to be honest."

"Love scares you then, does it?"

"Her version of it does. She also lectured me about being nicer to you."

"Ah, now that I agree with. Well come along inside then. We can't sit here all night, whatever were you thinking?"

I had the leftover Chinese for dinner, Skulduggery nattering on about how boring Sanctuary policy was. "You're lucky you're so young, Valkyrie. You don't have to stand there and listen to it. I swear all those men live for is lecturing me about excessive force this, and illegal activities that. So how was your day, then?"

"Well I got lectured on not insulting my partner so much. I'm also not supposed to argue with you or ignore the 'niceties and sweetness' I'm supposed to shower upon you. I swear to God, Skulduggery, that woman is insane."

"The day you start showering me with 'niceties and sweetness' is the day I start worrying about the mental health of my partner. You've never been nice in the way she means. It would make me ill if you were. If you became a woman who did nothing but bat her eyes- No, I simply wouldn't stand for it. Henceforth you are to be as rude as possible to me."

I smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. If you ever want to frighten me to death you can become the frilly little milksop she seems to think all men should be."

"She's confusing men with cats, that's her problem. She wants us all domesticated and civilized." A look of distaste came to his features.

"Well, you've never been civilized, so no worries there."

"Too true. You wouldn't want me to be, would you?"

"Lord, no. Where would be the fun in that?"

"Exactly. Well, you young lady better get some coffee and join me in our office, we do have a case to discuss."

I joined him, and he pulled me into a hug. "I'm very proud of you, you know. I'm sure the contents of that box gave you a fright."

I smiled into his shoulder, hugging him back. "It did. For an instant I thought it was you. I knew better, but still." He ruffled my hair affectionately before letting me go.

"What did it tell you about the killer?" He asked.

"His obsession with you is frightening. He wants to scare you, he wants you to see what's coming. Not to get off track, but how did you ever tell Ghastly you might be a target for the killer?"

"Oh that. Well we found smashed parts of a skeleton at each of the crime scenes. On the skull he carved my initials then smashed it. I found it endearing, really."

"Wow. You can really make friends and influence people, can't you?"

"We need to focus, Valkyrie." He sounded exasperated. "What else did it tell you?"

"Well the use of an actual packing crate is old fashioned, but I don't know if that helps. Did we get an ID yet on the victim?"

"Hmm?"

"The skeleton, who was he?"

"Ah, that. No idea, but from the looks of it the skeleton was from an anatomy lab, so I assume it was dead before he was played with it." His voice sounded bitter.

"You mean tortured."

"You're looking at an inanimate object as a human being, be more objective please."

"Skulduggery, a skeleton isn't a 'thing'. He was, is, a person. Personally I think it's disrespectful of the dead to hang them in labs like that."

"I'm sure its family was compensated, Valkyrie." He said, drily.

"He's not an it!"

"Right. I'm sure his family was compensated. Are you happy now?" He seemed agitated.

"I'm sorry, Skulduggery. It's just the idea of the killer even wanting to do that to you-"

"I know. But that wasn't me in that crate, you have to remember that. I don't want you having nightmares over this." I nodded, wishing he'd hug me again and knowing he wouldn't. We didn't make much more progress after that. I wanted to tell Skulduggery that he wasn't a thing to me. That he was a person, a man, like anybody else. But that would have shamed him.

I left him to his work, reading his silent cues to know I should go up to my bedroom that night. I didn't want to sleep without him in the same room, but I told myself I was in no position to argue with him. I convinced myself that if I did I'd be back in Gordon's mansion or Skulduggery would simply take his chances on leaving Ireland for good, without me.

I curled up after my bath underneath the sheets, my self-indulgent pity draining me. I tried not to think about how close I was to loosing him, but it didn't work. Then I realized where my thoughts were going and I angrily shook myself. This wasn't me talking. It was the stupid babble Madam Lovegate had been feeding me.

This was Skulduggery Pleasant. My best friend and mentor. The man who redid half his house for me. The man who fed me and clothed me, who never left my side, even when I'd done something incredibly stupid. Who drove me everywhere, even when he knew I had a car of my own, and had in fact, managed to sneakily break down my defenses and have me buy a car and not a bike.

He was also, yes, a skeleton. The skeleton who teased me and annoyed me. The skeleton who couldn't spend five minutes in the Sanctuary without coming to my window like he used to. The friend who looked to me to join him in whatever mischief he was plotting against the bad guys. So OK, maybe he wasn't in love with me, but this was my best friend in the entire Universe, and Madam Lovegate could take the advice that was making me so miserable and choke on it.

I got dressed again, and padded down to his office. Skulduggery sat with his skull buried in his gloved hands. Despair was etched on his features, and I felt my heart soften. He was a good man, far better than I deserved, and right now he needed a friend. "I don't think meditation works like that, even for you." I said and he looked up startled, a pleased smile crossing his features. I returned his smile and walked over to my desk, flipping open my copy of the case file. "Find anything?"

"No, and if I stare at that case file one more minute," he paused to massage the front of his skull, "I'm going to go barking mad. I don't suppose you're up for some night training?" He looked at me hopefully and I nodded.

"Oh, thank God. Well, come on then, though I suppose being a Necromancer you will cheat and finally beat me tonight. Have I mentioned recently how much I hate that ring? Because I do." We headed out to the car, Skulduggery humming to himself happily. At least, I reflected, he was an easy man to please.

Our training that night was more like dancing. We were both just so happy to be free of the Sanctuary. Neither of us was even trying to best the other, just good-naturedly trading soft blows that wouldn't have harmed a kitten. I smiled at his soft taps and jabs landed on my shoulders and chest. He left himself open, and I touched my knuckles gently to his shoulder, then a tap to the chest, followed by a lower touch to the abdomen with the other fist.

"I hope you hit Ghastly harder than this." I teased.

"Yes, that's the theory if I ever manage to hit him. Of course, you're a lot more fun to hit." He lunged suddenly, grabbing me around the midsection and twisting as we fell. He pinned me under him, and knelt on top of me gloating.

I brought my knees up gently, pressed him forward so I could get my hips up off the ground and twisted. He tumbled off, laughing. "No fair, hitting an old man from behind."

I snorted. "Old? You aren't even half of Madam Lovegate's age yet, and you're a mere pup compared to the killer."

"So I am." He mused. "But you should still respect your elders, Valkyrie." He waved an admonishing finger at me teasingly.

"Chronological or intellectual?" I teased back, and he was on top of me again, this time tickling me without mercy. I held up my hands in defeat. "Stop, you win, I surrender." I said, between giggles.

"Good. Hungry? There's that diner we stopped at with Ryan. I think it was an all night one."

"Skulduggery Pleasant, that's the best idea you've had in a long time. Let me get this armour off."

I touched my jaws, felt it fall away. Skulduggery was looking at me head tilted.

"What?" I asked.

"You look different in the moonlight, I never noticed it before. Well come on then, my lady, your chariot awaits." I smiled and followed him to the car, putting the armour in the boot, wondering again just what he was up to. But I knew I didn't really care, so long as he took me along for the ride.