A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Tanith or Valkyrie, wish I did though. Val is still 24, still her POV.

It had started to rain softly as we drove and I fell asleep to the lulling music of the wiper blades. I awoke the hear the radio on softly Herb Alpert's 'Rise' pouring from the speakers. Skulduggery's long fingers tapped gracefully on the steering wheel in time to the music, his head nodding in appreciation. He'd put his disguise on, but I could still read him. He was relaxed for once, and unguarded. Even through the covering layers I could feel his contented smile. He was humming softly to himself in a way he did only when truly pleased. I was delighted to see him this relaxed so I said nothing and closed my eyes again.

I felt a bony elbow poke into my ribs. "Valkyrie, are you awake?" His velvety voice sounded hopeful.

"Yes."

"I thought so. You know I've been happier these last few weeks than I have in a long time. "

"I noticed."

"Any idea why that is?"

"You won the Irish Sweepstakes?"

He laughed, pleased. "Clever, that. No, I'm happy because my good friend Valkyrie Cain is with me, and always has been. Plus she was happy when I got rid of that dreadful facade."

"I never wanted to say anything, but it was a little creepy, even when it wasn't malfunctioning."

"Indeed it was. But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, like cryogenics or pet rocks. But seeing you in the armour has reminded me I should take pride in my devilishly handsome good looks. Don't you agree?" He titled his head at me, fishing for a compliment.

"You know I do. I'd like to take that disguise and burn it, and don't think I wouldn't. I've always found you striking."

"My blushes, Watson!" He teased, bringing a rise of heat to my own cheeks.

"I take back every nice thing I ever said, about you, you know that?" I growled. To his delighted laughter I added "You should blush."

"Oh ho, should I now? And what, pray tell, dearest combat accessory, what would ever make me blush?"

I was silent for a long moment, then admitted: "I got nothing." He amused sound turned into a delighted chirrup as 'The Girl From Ipanema' came on. I ignored the lyrics, though it would have been nice if they were true.

We pulled into the diner, the open sign still lit. Inside a lone waitress stared out into the night, completely ignoring the Bentley. Impressive. Inside she took my order and didn't even give Skulduggery a second glance. I wondered briefly if she was a zombie. Though from the way she snapped her gum I doubted it.

"Well!" Skulduggery miffed, as she walked into the kitchen, "Women usually fall my witty charm."

"So that's what you call it, is it? I thought the proper word was annoying."

Skulduggery sniffed again, feigning offense. "Just because you can resist my charms doesn't mean other women can."

"I so don't want to hear this."

"It's sad, but true. Ever woman I meet is instantly and helplessly besotted with me forever. I've broken ever so many hearts, Valkyrie, merely by being me." He sighed dramatically.

"You keep telling yourself that." We paused as my coffee arrived.

"So, Valkyrie." There was an odd note in his voice, and I looked up at him, askance.

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Where do you see us, after this case?"

"Annoying each other, as usual."

"You don't want to do something more constructive with yourself? College perhaps?"

"I've been to the school of hard knocks and thanks you have a street education. Besides, can you see me sitting in a class, paying attention?"

"No, not really." He admitted.

"It's settled then and we don't talk about it from now on."

"We don't talk about a lot of things." He grumbled. My cheeseburger came and I nodded to the waitress. She slapped the bill on the table indifferently and disappeared once more into the kitchen.

"Charming woman." Skulduggery murmured.

I ate in silence. A silence Skulduggery apparently felt obliged to fill. "I was thinking that when the case is over, we could do something. Other than work, that is, as fun as it is to chase the bad guys. Maybe you need help cataloging the rooms in your mansion, or I shall develop the notion to write my memoirs. Or the Earth will crack open and swallow the Sanctuary whole and we'll be unemployed and need to go job hunting."

I raised an eyebrow and put down my half finished burger. "You've been putting a lot of thought into this, haven't you? What makes you think we need a plan? Ours tend to blow up in our faces anyhow."

Skulduggery paused, seemed to find the table really interesting. "Well, the truth of it is, Valkyrie, you'll be able to be an independent detective after this if you want. The Sanctuary wouldn't mind seeing me on my own again, you know."

"The day the Sanctuary tries to tell me what to do, I leave, Skulduggery, and I'm taking you with me."

"You'd do that for me? Give up the prestige of being an independent woman?"

"I've always been an independent woman. I've had people telling me I can't be your partner for over a decade because I was too young, what will the excuse be now? I'm an adult?"

I could feel him wince. "I think that is it exactly. Ghastly isn't worried, he knows you know your own mind. But do you still want me, Valkyrie? I am old, you could get a younger partner."

I blinked. "Skulduggery Pleasant, I'm surprised at you. Where's the massive ego that sees your age as a point in your favor?"

"In the repair shop, I'm afraid. You don't think I'm too old do you?" He tilted his head endearingly.

"I'm still waiting for you to hit adulthood, so no, I don't." I felt his smile as I finished my burger. Now he was fussing about his age, and seeking me to boost his vanity. The man was getting stranger every day, and I loved him for it.

Shortly after we got back in the Bentley my mobile rang. Tanith.

"Hello, Tanith."

"What's my favorite sister up to?"

"Wondering why you called."

"Ow. It's nothing, I mean, well, almost nothing."

I sighed. "What happened."

"Ghastly isn't speaking to me right now."

"What did you do?"

"A fine sister you are. All I said was we're both adults and things could move a little faster."

"That," I said, trying to suppress my laughter and failing, "was the wrong thing to say. You can't push Ghastly into anything, even if it's something he wants." I saw Skulduggery turn his head to stare at me, but he said nothing.

"Well, did Skulduggery say anything?"

"No, why would he?"

"I have an idea they're plotting against us."

"Men are always plotting against women. Say Tanith, would you be a dear, sweet sister and do me a favor?"

"Yes?" She sounded amused. I ignored Skulduggery's snort of contempt.

"Well it's two favors, really. First I want you to research the armour for me in the Sanctuary library, but don't let on you are doing it for me."

"OK..."

"Second, and I will apologize if I'm wrong, but have a sample of Madam Lovegate's tea analyzed. I also don't want you or Ghastly drinking it."

Skulduggery swerved the Bentley onto the shoulder and turned his head towards me. Tanith sighed. "How am I supposed to get a sample?"

"She's always foisting tea on us. It would be even better if you could just get a sample of the leaves, though if she is enchanting the tea or the pot itself is enchanted we'll find nothing. Maybe it's my finely tuned paranoia but doesn't she seem strange to you?"

"Well yes, and I'll get the sample, but what's going on? She forced a cup on me this afternoon I could have filched some tea leaves for you then."

"Think of it. She only ever has women in to tea, a real hostess and tea lover wouldn't do that. Have you ever seen a man in her office, ever?"

"No, come to think of it, I haven't."

"And whatever made you say what you did to Ghastly, it wasn't you talking. You aren't like that. She switches from telling you-" I paused, clearly I couldn't say this in front of Skulduggery.

"She did it to your too, then? First she was on about Ghastly being incapable of love because of his face."

"She what?"

"Don't shout. Then she switched to how in love we were, but it would never work out. What's her game, do you think?"

"I don't know, for now. But don't drink any more of that tea." Tanith agreed and we rang off.

Skulduggery was staring a hole through me. "What, exactly, was that all about? And don't lie, Ghastly and I noticed you two spending so much time with her."

"Madam Lovegate's been trying to interfere with Ghastly and Tanith. She's also been trying to make sure I no longer speak to you. If I didn't know any better I'd say she wants me killed in that armour. I know she's angry that you're pleased with it." I could feel him raise a skeletal brow and continued. "You should have seen the look on her face when I lied to her about something she was needling me with. She acted nice, but there was pure malicious glee in her eyes. She's one of those dreadful old women who hate younger women at the very least."

Skulduggery nodded. "The tea?"

"I noticed feeling and thinking things I normally wouldn't, but it only happened after the tea, and if I'd been wearing the armour before it the effects were delayed or never happened. She managed to disappear the day I'd worn the armour to train with her, but the next day when I hadn't worn it for hours..."

"She managed to see you. Well, that's quite a bit of detective work, and I'll admit, I missed it. I never drank tea, but you're right. For a woman who puts on airs of a Victorian lady she should serve everyone tea, and certainly should entertain men as well as women." He nodded again and pulled back onto the road. "How did you know something was wrong?"

"Shes a frenemy. First she told Tanith, well that's honestly Tanith's business, but she keeps changing her story and tactics."

"Then we can assume anything she told you about the armour may well be lies. See? This is why men are better friends. We aren't always plotting against you, despite your rather unenlightened views of us. We are loyal, and we know our own minds." He gave me a pointed look before continuing. "I'm sorry for whatever happened between Ghastly and Tanith, but you're right, he won't be rushed into anything, even if he does want it. I wonder who it was that taught you to be so insightful? Oh, that's right, me."

I grinned at him. "They'll be all right. I'll wager anything once Ghastly hears about the tea he'll forgive her."

"You think she'll tell him?"

"I'm assuming she will. She might need him to distract Madam Lovegate. I think if he sets foot in her office she'll be plenty distracted."

"What a devious young woman you are. I'm glad you're on my side. I'm also rather glad you chose me as your friend over Madam Lovegate."

"As you said, men do make better friends."

"Indeed we do."

The next day bright and early Ghastly had us at the Sanctuary. The tea had been analyzed, and proved to be ensorcelled to cause the drinker to be susceptible to suggestion. "No wonder it didn't work on you, you never listen." Ghastly told me drily. Tanith came over and cuddled into him, and he continued, an arm around her. "I wanted you both here to see her arrest, and now I go storm the castle."

We all walked into Madam Lovegate's office, and she looked up in dismay. "You, you cannot be in here, you simply cannot!" She said, looking from Ghastly to Skulduggery. "I don't want men in my office, it isn't proper, get out!"

"That's sexism, that it." Tanith said softly. She'd positioned herself in front of the door and I stood off to one side. If Lovegate tried to run we'd bat her back and forth. Hard.

"I don't care what it is, young lady! You can't talk that way to me, I'm an Elder."

"Were an Elder." Skulduggery said, slipping his cuffs on her wrists. "Madam Lovegate I'm placing you under arrest for the use of sorcery against my partner and Tanith Low. Also your obvious attempts to disrupt the effectiveness of the Sanctuary through the use of said teas. What would you call that, Valkyrie?"

"I can't say what I'd call it, there are gentlemen present. But plotting against the Sanctuary breaks some sort of law, I'm sure."

"Plotting, plotting?" Lovegate said bitterly. "I was trying to help you. You know my specialty, Valkyrie, Tanith." She said ingratiatingly. "I just didn't want you two to end up with men who are so ugly, that's all." I saw Ghastly stiffen as if he's been slapped, and Skulduggery became very still. Neither man spoke, so I did.

"Coming from the Virgin Queen, as that does, it's hardly your real reason, is it, madam?" I snapped the last word out, walked towards her with my shoulders bunched. "You're a bitter, frustrated, lonely old woman whose spent too much time interfering in the lives of others. Exactly how many lives have you ruined, hmm? How many women have you driven to despair or suicide? Oh yes, I think we'll find quite a few, now that we know to look for them." I looked at her steadily and she averted her gaze. But I wasn't finished with her.

"You don't specialize in love, you never have, your specialty is hate." She turned ashen, started to tremble. "You know what your major malfunction is? You've never been in love, I don't think you're capable of it or any other single decent emotion. And as for ugly, look in the mirror lately?" I hissed.

She sagged in defeat and Tanith gave a whistle. "Remind me never to insult Skulduggery in your presence, well done that. I'd also like a few words, if I may?" I nodded. Ghastly and Skulduggery just stood to one side, looking dumbfounded as did the gaoler who'd come to collect her.

Tanith smiled wickedly. "You know that sword of yours is really impressive, so impressive I did some research on it. You weren't the Grey Angel. That's a lie you told. The Grey Angel was Valkyrie's great grandmother to so many generations back. You," Tanith leaned in close, "Stole that glory and that sword from her. You wanted the armour for yourself too, because the man you wanted ended up with her, didn't he?"

"You couldn't stand that he'd go for her, when you'd just wanted him for a plaything. You, who thought he was ugly because of his war wounds. You who looked at him like a cripple and left him to die. You just sat back and watched as the rescue went on, then stepped in and pretended you orchestrated the whole thing. You, you I don't like." Tanith finished with a snarl.

We both stood back, glaring at her as the gaoler at last came forward to claim her. We were both furious and Skulduggery and Ghastly were still silent, examining the carpet. I struggled to get my temper in check. "It's all right, Elder Bespoke. I'm not going to go assault her in her cell, though that's what she deserves." My voice was strained, I struggled to beat down my anger before I continued. "Suffice it to say, she made a mistake insulting either one of you in our presence."

Ghastly gave a shrug. Her words still stung them both. I looked at Tanith, but she wasn't saying anything. I let my anger recede. "Look, we're women. As much as we try to ignore that fact because we live in a society where we're the equals to men. And the one thing that sets any decent woman off is to hear another woman talk that way about the men she cares about. It might sound stupid to you rather handsome gentlemen, but so far as Tanith and I are concerned we have your honour to defend."

Ghastly, looked up, smiled at me, pleased with the compliment. "I've just never seen either of you that angry before."

Skulduggery nodded. "I think we'll have a new Sanctuary policy of never letting women interview other women alone. I'd always wondered why some of our detectives were walking around in a rage for days. Certain female suspects also had a way of getting 'hurt' at times. Now it all makes sense."

Tanith giggled. "I just bet they did. Women have our own way of dealing with other women, is all. That, by the bye, sister, was a wonderful speech. I'm surprised you didn't haul off and smack her one."

"Oh, it hurt more without the smack."

"I know." We smiled at each other and strolled out of the room well pleased with ourselves, leaving Ghastly and Skulduggery to ponder what they'd just witnessed.