Chapter 18: Blue Balls

"Do you think your father will try this again?"

"I have no clue. I'd like to say no since I don't think things went the way he planned yet I wouldn't put it past him."

At least I haven't heard from his since Friday. If he could just let me be. Give me some space for once.

"Your father reminds me of my own father." Fitz told her.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He also tends to be controlling and has always tried to map out my life to his satisfaction. For the most part, in his eyes, I've only done one decent thing in my life."

At least he's done something that his father sees as a good thing.

"What's that?"

"Marry Mellie." He said with a humorless laugh.

That's the 'decent' thing he's done in his father's eyes. How? I don't get that at all. I'd say that has to be his BIGGEST mistake.

I wish I knew how to ask about it without it being obvious that I believe he's made a dumb decision.

Did his father set him up? Even if that was the case it was ultimately Fitz's choice to go through with it. I really don't understand.

Though I can't really say anything because I don't know how his relationship with his father is except that he's controlling. I don't know what it was like in his household growing up. There had to be a lot of pieces that played a part in him marrying someone that he doesn't seem to like let alone love. Unless maybe their relationship wasn't always the way it is now.

Fitz watched as Olivia's curious expression changed into one puzzlement.

I wonder what's going through her mind. I did not see the conversation heading in this direction.

I thought I'd try to find out more about this Frank guy but I brought up my father instead. I wanted her to know that I understand about her father. When she asked what decent thing my father believes I did, I gave her the honest answer. I wish I could say it was anything other then that but I can't. I don't want to lie to her. I want to be as open as I possibly can though there are some things I haven't even come to terms with.

My family's pretty fucked up and the only thing my parents ever agreed on was Mellie. I think I could've easily rebelled against my father because I lived for that. I thrived off of it but I would never want to disappointment my mother. The last thing I would want is for her to stick me in the category of being like my father. Though right now I kind of am...

Fitz let out a deep sigh.

Is Olivia's mother in her life?

Fitz coughed a couple times of times to get her attention.

Olivia looked at him still puzzled.

How long was I lost in my own thoughts?

"Did you say something?" She asked.

"No. I, um, just had something in my throat."

"Oh."

"It's obvious you're not close to your father and I can understand why, but what about your mother?" He asked.

Olivia froze.

My mother. I don't really think about her too often anymore. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

She felt arms wrap around her and pull her in followed by the soft yet cold press of lips to her forehead.

Shit, I'm crying. Shivering and crying. Suddenly I can feel the cold. It's time to go. I need to go!

She tried to pull away but he tightened his arms around her.

"It's ok Liv. You don't have to say anything. Just let me hold you."

I don't know what happened to her mother or between her and her mother but it's definitely something I know not to bring up again. Unless she wants to talk about it I'm not ever going to mention it.

Olivia didn't know how long she sat wrapped in his embrace.

I wish I could spend the night like this. I don't want to go anymore. It sucks that the reality is we both have to get back home.

"Fitz?"

"Yeah..."

"We have to go," She told him as she forced herself to part from him.

Before she could stand up he placed both of his hands on her face and turned her towards him.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

I can hear the deep concern in his voice and damn I just... She stopped herself scared to think about how she feels.

"Yes. I'm fine."

Fitz gave her a questioning look.

"Really I am."

He leaned closer into her and gently placed his lips on hers.

"You're lips are cold yet they make me feel warm." She told him with a smile.

"You know it's only going to get colder. We really need to find another place to meet. Though I have no clue where."

"Me either. We'll figure it out."

We have to figure it out!

Fitz stood up and grabbed one of Olivia's hands to help her up.

I hate leaving her. It seems harder and harder to do.

"I guess I'll see you at work..."

"Um yeah but no funny business Principal!" She unconvincingly warned him.

"Oh alright." Fitz said with a pout.

He watched her turn and start to walk away before she turned back around.

What's wrong? Maybe she's not fine. He thought as she came back towards him.

"One more kiss for a good night's sleep." She said and puckered up her lips in a ridiculous manner.

Fitz laughed before he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

What could be better than this?

Monday mornings always go so slow. Olivia thought as she walked into the teacher's lounge.

"I feel the same way." Harrison said without needing to hear Olivia say anything.

Olivia practically fell into the chair next to him.

"It's rare that we all get to have lunch together! I'm excited!" Abby said.

"Abby either tone it down or give me whatever drug you're taking that always has you so damn energized." Olivia said tiredly. "You know the kids always return from the weekend having forgotten all that they learned last week."

"And they have the nerve to come to school looking the same way we do." Harrison said before he looked across the table at Abby." Well minus her."

"Hey don't blame me if your weekends sucked."

"I had a great weekend. It's just they all go by too fast." Harrison said with a shake of his head.

"We could have a four day weekend it would go by too fast." Olivia said.

Abby and Harrison nodded in agreement.

Olivia looked up from unpacking her lunch to see Fitz enter the lounge."

Please no coffee spill repeat.

He smiled as if reading her mind.

"I can feel the two of you staring at me. I don't know what kind of reaction your expecting to see."

"You would see we were staring at you if you'd stop staring at him." Harrison told her.

"At least he hasn't noticed." Abby said.

"Oh he's noticed."

"How can you tell?" Abby asked Harrison.

"Because he has the same smug look all guys get when they've been noticed by a hot girl."

"Well, that's just great." Olivia said sarcastically as she let her head fall onto the table.

I don't even care how foolish I look. I'm too tired to care.

Ouch! Why did Harrison just elbow me.

"What the he-" Olivia started before Harrison cut her off.

"Hey principal!" He said.

Olivia looks exhausted. I should go over and see how she's doing after last night.

"Hey principal!" Harrison said as soon as he approached.

"Hi Harrison, Abby,...Olivia. How's everyone doing today?"

"I'll tell you how I'm doing. I need about ten cups of what your having to get through the afternoon." Harrison answered as he got up and headed towards the coffee.

"I'm good principal." Abby replied.

"Glad to hear that Abby. And Olivia?" He asked with a grin.

"Fine as always." She said with a sigh.

Fitz frowned.

He leaned down between Olivia and Abby. "You know Ms. Pope it's ok to say your tired, upset, depressed, whatever. I'm not saying you are but I want you to know that you don't always have to be fine."

Fitz stood up when he noticed Harrison walking back in their direction. "Harrison I hope you and Olivia have better afternoons."

"Me too." Fitz heard Harrison say.

Fitz left the lounge and headed back to his office.

At least there was no embarrassing moment this time. He smiled. I did notice her staring at me from the time I walked in. He thought as his smile widened.

I think I'll try to call her tonight. I'm not going to bring up last night even though I don't think she was or is completely fine. I'll call her and see if she wants to talk. I don't care if we talk about bowling or water skiing squirrels...I just want to talk.

"Did something happen last night?" Abby asked.

"No." Olivia answered quickly.

"Let it go Abby." Harrison said before Abby could ask anything else.

"Fine." She said annoyed.

When Abby wasn't paying attention Olivia looked at Harrison and mouthed "Thank you."

Harrison always knows when to comment and when to let things go. I know he's worried about the situation I'm in but I appreciate that he's stuck to what he's said and hasn't judged me or try to lecture me.

It's a relief.

I appreciate having Abby too. She does get a little over excited sometimes but she does make me think a lot of things through.

I know I'd be completely lost right now if I didn't have them and our Friday night meetings.

Now if I can make it through the rest of today I know I can make it through the rest of the week.

"Fitz which color looks better on me? The blue or the purple?" Mellie asked.

"I guess the purple." He said after a brief glance away from the football game.

"Are you sure? I think I look slimmer in the blue dress."

"Then go with the blue."

Why do women ask men such things. They're never satisfied with how we answer and usually go with the opposite of what we suggest. Granted I don't think most men put a lot of thought into it.

"I think you should wear orange mom. It's a great color! It's my favorite ninja turtle's color! You saw my costume. I'm sure you'll look good in orange too." Jerry said.

"Yes, because I should definitely base what I wear off of a ster-"

"Mellie..."

"I mean mutant turtle."Mellie said with a roll of her eyes. "I'll ask Carol in the morning."

Mellie looked at the clock. "Fitz are you going to let him watch this whole game? He has school in the morning and you know how difficult it is to wake him up!"

"I surely do know. It's you who doesn't know."

"I've-" Mellie stopped. "Never mind I'm going to bed. Good night Jerry. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night mom!"

"It's halftime kiddo. Time for bed."

"You have it recording right? I can finish watching the game tomorrow?" Jerry asked.

"Have I ever forgotten to record a Monday night game for you?"

"Well there was that one time..."

"Jerry it was the Jaguars at the Bucs. I didn't forget. I stopped the recording because you were practically crying over the boredom of the game way before halftime." Fitz told him.

"Oh yeah. But I wasn't close to crying. I was just whining a little and so were you!"

"You're right about that." Fitz admitted. "Now come on."

I have a phone call I need to make.

That bath was the best part of the day. I feel so much better. If Fitz were to ask me now how I am I would say I'm fabulous! Or I would say "fine" just to annoy him.

Maybe I'll watch a little tv tonight. Tiny House Hunting is On Demand.

Olivia suddenly heard her cell phone ringing.

Please don't let this be my father. She quickly grabbed the phone from the nightstand by her bed. She smiled when she saw who was calling her.

Fitz!

"Hello Principal Grant."

"Hey."

Damn he has a sexy voice. Sometimes it has this deepness to it. I can't even explain it. It's just so sexy!

"How are you? And be honest!"

"I'm good." She said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I took a long bath and I feel good."

"Don't ever mention yourself and a bath in the same sentence ever again." He told her.

"Why?" She laughed.

"Because I'm visualizing it in my head and it's not healthy for me. I'd like to go to sleep without blue balls."

Fitz smiled when he heard her laughter on the phone.

"Oh my god!" He heard her say.

"I'm glad you find it so funny. It's extremely painful for a man."

"You got hands..."

"Too many times I've had to do that because of you!"

"Sorry." She said.

"No your not, but it's ok. Remember what happened in my office?"

Fitz started to laugh at her sudden silence.

"You wouldn't..."

"I most certainly would do that again!"

"Ok but I can't help what comes to your mind. I wasn't trying to tease you. I was letting you know why I was honestly good."

"Alright I can't blame you this time."

I'm glad we can talk on the phone now. No more having to wait a week to have an actual conversation.

"I have a question for you." Olivia heard him say.

"Oh no. What is it?"

"Were you costume shopping for Harrison's party that's this Saturday night?"

"Yeah. Were you?" She asked.

"Yep."

I don't know if us being at a party together is a good thing or a bad thing. We probably won't even be able to risk standing near one another. We're going to be surrounded. If anything happens I don't think we'll get away with it...

"So you'll definitely be there?" Olivia asked.

"Yep. I've gone almost every year that Harrison's thrown one. Jerry has a sleepover this weekend and Mellie doesn't do Halloween so I'll be there." There was a pause before he continued. "Are you no longer going to go? Are you worried something might happen?"

I can sense that grin on his from here.

"Don't worry I'll be there."

"You better be."

Damn that sexiness in the way he says certain things.

"What's your costume?" She asked.

"Dracula. Beware!"

Olivia laughed.

"What's your costume?"

I shouldn't tell him. I want to see his reaction. I don't want him to have a clue.

"I'm not telling."

Is she seriously not going to tell me? I'm going to be thinking about this ALL week.

"Come on Olivia. Tell me."

"Nope. You'll just have to wait and see."

I don't like the way she said that...

"That's ok. I don't care anyway." Fitz tried to bluff.

"If you say so." She said with a laugh.

I wasn't teasing him earlier but I will now.

"It's getting late so I'm going to get out of this robe and go to bed."

Was she only wearing a robe this whole time?

"Ooh the cool air against my naked flesh. I wish you could join me under the covers. It would be so nice to feel your warm body next to mine. Remember how you felt when we were in that dressing room?"

"Olivia..." He said in a tone of desperation.

"Well, goodnight Principal Grant. I'll see you tomorrow."

Damn her!