Chapter 26: Fallen
I have quite a few essays to grade this weekend and I'm not looking forward to it. The ones I've read so far have been painful to say the least. I've already decided that some of the students essays are so bad that they are going to have to re-write them. Hopefully it'll only take one re-write to get the students to start doing their best the first time around.
Even though I have a lot of grading to do I don't plan on spending the entire weekend doing so. I have to have at least a little fun.
Olivia gathered everything she needed off of her desk.
Tonight I have my usual plans with Harrison and Abby. Tomorrow is annoyingly still up in the air. And Sunday I know for sure will have to be dedicated to work.
"All set to leave Ms. Pope?" She heard a familiar voice ask.
"Yes I am Principal Grant." Olivia said before looking up to see Fitz standing in the doorway.
So now were alone in my classroom. No worries though. We're not that careless and stupid...
I think.
Olivia walked till she was directly in front of Fitz.
Damn he smells good today. I feel like-
No! I have to keep it together.
"If you'll excuse me I'll see you Monday. Have a good weekend." Olivia hurriedly said.
Thank god he moved out of the way.
"I'll definitely have a good weekend. I've made some plans."
Seriously?
For us?
Olivia fought to keep her smile normal and relaxed.
"I'm glad to hear that."
"Yeah, I just have to call my friend tonight to make sure everything's a go."
I can't wait to hear from him!
"Oh, I bet there won't be any problems." Olivia adjusted her purse on her shoulder and turned to walk away. "Bye Principal Grant." She called back.
Fitz smiled as he watched her walk away.
I have plans but there's still one thing I have to take care of...
Who's going to watch Jerry? I have someone in mind to ask but I have a feeling I'm going to be looking for other options.
"Hey Cy! Wait a second!" Fitz yelled as he raced to catch up with Cyrus at his car.
"Whatever it is 'NO'." Cyrus wasted no time saying.
"Huh?"
"I know you too well Fitz. So whatever you want the answer is 'No'."
I expected this much but I still have hope I can convince him to change his mind. I at least have to give it a shot.
"Do you have plans this Saturday evening?" Fitz asked.
Cyrus rolled his eyes. "I was hoping to spend some time with James."
"Oh..."
Does a grown man doing "puppy eyes" work on another grown man?
I'm desperate so I'll try it.
After a few seconds Cyrus shook his head and said "Damnit Fitz what do you want?"
Fitz cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you could watch Jerry for me tomorrow?"
Cyrus burst into laughter.
I did say I had to try...
"Come on Cy! Mellie's away this weekend and I wanted to make some special plans..."
"No way! The last time I watched that kid I let him talk me into turning off CNN to watch one of his movies. I don't know what it was called but the shit going on in that movie combined with his craziness reminded me of a bad acid trip."
"But...Wait...What?" Did I hear him right? "You did acid? I never knew that."
"Hey, I was at a party trying to be cool, ate a couple of brownies that happened to be laced, and the next thing I knew I was being chased by an enormous pink elephant with a nasty attitude and a group of Oompa Loompas singing 'What do you get when you cross an elephant and a gay guy.' Scared the shit out of me. I woke up the next morning in an alleyway having wet my pants. No clue how I got there."
Fitz laughed till his stomach hurt. "I can't believe you never told me that story before."
"Well, it's not exactly one of my shining moments. Regardless, I'm sorry my friend I can't watch Jerry. Anyway you should spend your weekend looking for a place to move into."
"That's on my list of things to do but it's not number one." Fitz told him.
Cyrus opened up his car door. "Good luck on the weekend Fitz. I'm sure I'll be able to tell how it went by the look on your face the next time I see you."
"Tell your boyfriend whom I have yet to formally meet 'Hi'."
"I will and be sure to tell your lover to keep her yoohoo covered up at work."
God I could punch him sometimes.
"Goodbye." He said to a laughing Cyrus.
Olivia sighed as she slid in the the bathtub.
Very few things top a bubble bath and a glass of wine. I wish I had time for this more often.
"I've made some plans."
What plans? Olivia questioned as she reflected on what Fitz had said earlier.
Maybe I shouldn't go out with Harrison and Abby tonight. It would suck if he called me while I was at the bar. I can't imagine it would be any less awkward than the first time it happened.
Didn't I call him 'Finland' or something like that? She shook her head and laughed.
Everything that's happened since I met him has been crazy. I never thought I'd be in a situation like this but then again who does? When I'm alone it's easy for me to say 'this is wrong' , 'he's married,' and 'I need to end this' but when I'm with him it's nowhere near easy. With him, what I know is wrong feels so right.
Olivia took a sip of wine before she put it down, leaned back, and closed her eyes.
How many weeks has it been that we've known each other? Not that many yet I'm falling for him. I think I'm falling in-
Immediately her eyes popped open.
Is that even possible? I dated Edison for close to a year before I actually said the words 'I love you' and my feelings were nowhere near as strong as they are for Fitz.
Damn I think I have an illness. I must be sick.
There's no way he feels the same way. Feelings like this don't happen this quickly.
Do they?
There must be something wrong with me. Maybe my hormones are all out of sorts.
Olivia took a deep breath and picked her glass of wine back up. She took a sip before she leaned back and closed her eyes again.
Shit. I'm in love.
"Dad are you sure you're not going to be sad this weekend?"
"I'm sure kiddo. I'm excited for you. I wish I could be the one to take you to your first college football game but it's ok. Especially since we made the Ninja tent tonight!"
"Yeah! I love when we make our tent!" Jerry exclaimed before getting serious "We have to focus now. Remember I'm Raphael and you're Michelangelo."
"Ok." Fitz said as he ducked down in the tent like Jerry.
It's official that Liv and I can go out this weekend!
"Michelangelo stop smiling! This is serious."
"Oh, Sorry Jer-. I mean Raphael." Fitz corrected after receiving a stern look from his son.
What are the odds of one of Jerry's friends inviting him to a game to watch his brother play this weekend. And he's actually going to be staying overnight because of the long drive there and back. The Moore's want to have some time to spend with their eldest son so they won't be making the drive back till late. I can't complain because that actually works out for me.
I do wish I was the one taking him to his first college game but maybe I'll get the chance to take him to his first pro game someday. No one would be able to top that.
"He's coming! Remember Megatron is extremely dangerous. We have to be at the top of our game." Jerry told him.
Fitz furrowed his eyebrows. "Isn't Megatron a Transformer? Isn't that a whole other movie?"
Jerry rolled his eyes. "This is pretend dad. That means anything can happen!"
"That's right. I forgot."
"Ssh, wait for it Mikey. On the count of three."
The intense look on his face makes me want to laugh every time. It's like he needs to take a shit or something. Fitz fought his urge to laugh.
"THREE! Come on Mikey let's kick a-. I mean butt!"
I think I will go out for a little tonight. Olivia thought as she grabbed her coat. It seems pathetic to wait around for his phone call. I'll just come home earlier. If he does happen to call while I'm still out I'll just tell him I'll call him when I get home.
Yeah that's what I'll do because I know I'll drive myself crazy sitting around here. Plus I do want to spend most of the weekend having fun and that includes tonight.
I'm not as young as I used to be. Pretending to do karate and running between rooms may be good exercise but it could lead to my early exit from life. Fitz thought as he laid spread out on the floor in Jerry's room.
"That was pretty good! Now we have to hurry and get back to the tent."
"Raphael, Daddy needs a break." Fitz said tiredly.
"You're not my dad you're my brother."
I wonder if a dad's 'puppy dog' eyes work on his 7yr old son?
Jerry let out a sigh. "Oh alright." He said before plopping next to his dad.
Once I get my breathing under control I think now is probably the best time to talk to Jerry about his mom and I since he won't be here most of the weekend. And waiting till after Mellie returns home doesn't seem like a smart idea.
After a couple minutes passed Fitz sat up.
I didn't rehearse this. I don't think I really could. I just have to see where the conversation goes.
"Jerry? I can call you 'Jerry' now right?"
"Yes." His son said laughing.
"There's something serious I need to talk to you about."
Jerry eyed his dad curiously. "Ok..."
I know I need to get his point of view on all of this. I simply don't know where to start.
"Jerry what's it like for you when you, your mom, and I are all together? I know all of us don't spend a lot of time out together but think about those few times when we were out together and the times when we're all at home."
He's fidgeting so much and his expression is like he's trying to figure out what he should say.
"Do you want me to be honest?" Jerry asked.
"Yes. I want you to be completely honest."
Jerry fidgeted some more. "Um ok. Well you guys fight all the time. I don't even understand what you're fighting about must of the time. I don't like it. When we're all together no one seems to like each other. You get mean. Mom drinks a lot of that weird water..."
At least he still thinks that's water.
"And sometimes I feel like mom dislikes me even more than when it's just me and her."
Fitz hugged his son tightly when he noticed a couple tears start to run down his face.
God it hurts me to hear this. I never knew he felt this way. And it pisses me off that Mellie's actions, and mine, make him feel like his mom doesn't even like him.
Fact is Mellie never wanted to be a mother and she sucks at parenting but I do believe she loves and cares about Jerry. And I know criticizing Mellie right now is not going to make things any better.
"Jerry I'm sorry. Your mom and I both love you very much. I had no idea how our fighting was affecting you. I should've been more aware. Your mom and I are so often focused on what's wrong with each other that we over look you sometimes and I'm truly sorry for that."
"It's ok. Parent's have dumb moments too."
"Yes we do."
He's only seven but sometimes he's seems to be more mature and more insightful than any adult.
"I wanted to talk to you about this because there are going to be some changes in our lives. I'm pretty sure the changes are going to be hard at first but I think in the end, for all of us, it will be for the best."
"Are you leaving?" Jerry asked suddenly full of panic.
"I'm not leaving you. I would never leave you. I am..."
I have no idea how he's going to take this. Even though he sees that his mom and I aren't happy that doesn't mean he'll accept that things need to end between us.
"You're what?"
Fitz took a deep breath. "I'm going to be separating from your mom."
"So you are leaving..." Jerry said. His voice laced with sadness.
"I will probably be moving out of the house but like I said I'm not leaving you. I'm going to be looking for a place that will be great for the two of us until everything can be worked out."
"Are you and mom going to get a divorce?" Jerry asked with wet widened eyes.
I wish there was some way to soften this but he's a smart kid and wouldn't forgive me if I wasn't honest with him. I need him to be able to trust me throughout all the changes that are about to occur.
Fitz sighed before answering. "It looks that way kiddo. For a very long time your mom and I haven't been happy. Are relationship is unhealthy for us and for you. I don't know if your mom will agree, but I feel this is the right thing to do."
Jerry frowned. "So you haven't talked to mom about any of this?"
Not yet. And it's going to be interesting when I tell her. I definitely don't want Jerry to be around when I do.
Fitz cleared his throat. "No."
Jerry put a hand on his dad's shoulder. "Oh. Well don't worry because I know a kid on the playground who's dad is a priest. I bet for a small fee he'd be willing to read you your last rites."
"...I'll see you guys later." Olivia said as she stood up from the booth. Harrison and Abby got up too.
"Have a good weekend Liv. Call me if you need anything. Ok?" Harrison asked while giving her a hug.
"Of course." Olivia said before she turned to give Abby a hug.
"I'll probably call you sometime on Sunday." Olivia whispered.
Abby smiled and nodded.
"Bye." She said one last time before heading for the door.
I'm glad I got a few minutes to talk to Abby alone tonight about this weekend. Of course she was excited but she did remind me of the conversation we had not too long ago about not letting Fitz string me along.
It made me think that depending on how much time we have together tomorrow. I want to find time for Fitz and I to talk about where things are going. I'm not one to give ultimatums and I certainly don't want to be the sole reason he decides to end his marriage. I just feel it's important for me to know where things stand. Is there any possibility that we could have a real relationship that's not behind closed doors?
I hope there is.
As soon as Olivia got into her car her phone started to go off. She immediately picked it up when she saw who it was.
"Hi."
Why did I say that like a girl talking to her crush for the first time?
Fitz smiled at the sound of her voice as he sat on his bed.
"Hi. How are you?" He asked.
"Good. I just got into my car."
"You're going somewhere this late at night?"
Where could she possibly be going? I hope she's not meeting someone...
"No, I'm heading home from hanging out with Harrison and Abby."
"Oh, that's right." Fitz said relieved.
There were a few seconds of silence before Fitz said, "I'm calling to see if you're free tomorrow?"
I hope she trusted me and didn't make plans. I know she hinted earlier that there wouldn't be a problem but things can change and-
"I'm free all day tomorrow." She said interrupting his thoughts.
Olivia held back a laugh as she heard him let out a sigh before saying "Awesome!"
I think he might've been a little worried. None of that confidence from earlier.
"So, what do you have planned for us Principal Grant?"
She sounds so damn sexy when she calls me Principal Grant.
"I'd rather wait to tell you in the morning when your at home." Fitz told her.
"Ugh! You just want to torture me or make me beg!"
"Come on, am I that type of guy?"
"Yes." He immediately heard her say.
"Livvie..."
He practically growled my name. How am I going to sleep tonight? I want to know what we're going to do tomorrow. I'm especially curious to know how we're going to go out in public. Even though Mellie's out of town there are plenty of people who know him around here.
"How about you call me when you get home and then I'll tell you my plans. Fair?"
"Be prepared to hear from me in about a minute!" Olivia told him.
"Don't you dare speed Olivia!"
"Whatever Mister! Bye!"
Fitz shook his head as he looked at the phone and saw she had hung up.
Guess I'll get out of these clothes. He thought as he pulled out his PJs.
Damn she drives me crazy, but I sure do love her.
Suddenly Fitz froze.
Shit. I don't think I ever fully expressed that to myself. I've always let the thought drift off but it's become clear...
I'm not falling for Olivia anymore.
I've fallen. Hard.
And I don't ever want to get up.