-Chapter XXXIII- Welcome to Equestria, Swifthoof!

-Ponyville, Equestria

-March 30th, 2012

-7:30 P.M.

-Nicholas

When I awoke, I was too entranced by the dream I had just endured to even realize the scenery that now surrounded me, nor did I realize my lack of balance as I stood. Who was he talking about? And...who the hell is Head Start? I began to take a single step forward, but fell flat on my face. I lifted my head, my mind racing with confusion. I looked down at the ground where I thought my hands were, keeping me off of the ground. I tried to stand again, but only repeated the same process, leaving me on the floor of the cave that I was now in. I began to look frantically about, my mind chanting the same word repeatedly. SHIT.

Judging by the brightly-coloured terrain, I could only begin to breathe heavily and hyperventilate as I examined my new forme. "No no no no no shit nononononono shit!" My hands had been transformed into a flat surface, my body now covered with a thin layer of tan fur. Still in denial, I could only try to stand on my hind legs as I clumsily tried to run out of the cave that I had awoken in, but only got to the mouth of the cave before falling flat on my face yet again. I could've cried.

Equestria, the very same country of ponies that I despised and resented. Their race was weak, seemingly completely pacifistic, and literally a breed of Brightly-coloured. Magical. Talking. Horses. "This is not happening..." I muttered quietly. Now I was a pony myself. I tried to figure out how to sit in this forme and figure out how and why I was supposed to be in Equestria, but when I fumbled backwards and hit my head slightly on the wall of the cave, I heard a distant laughter.

Of course, my instincts kicked in and the first reaction I had was reaching for my sword, struggling to stay on two...uh, hooves, but while I leaned back on the cave wall for support, I then realized that I would not be able to wield my blade in the typical fashion. The butt of the sword simply poked my hoof when I tried to grab it, but I could not with my lack of hands. I began to fall forwards, but this time I caught myself, feeling very awkward as I stood in place on all four legs. After a moment or two of figuring out how to go about the situation, I instead reached around to my side where my sword was sheathed in a belt connected to a saddle on my back with my head. Oh my God I've got a saddle on my back. This is just wrong. 50 Shades of Wrongness. I faced forward again once I grabbed the sword, now wielding it in a somewhat familiar fashion with my mouth, gripping with my teeth that almost...suited the grip of the blade.

Awkwardly and confusingly, I "trotted" up to the mouth of the cave from where the laughter seemed to have come. "Whosh out ter?" I asked through the sword between my teeth. I looked around the brightly-coloured field that surrounded the cave, full of flowers and whatnot, and began to return to the shelter of my place of awakening. I stopped when I heard soft steps echoing throughout the cave, ever so lightly. I quickly turned back around and began to dash out of there, but was stopped when a head poked out right in front of me from on top of the exit. "Waahhh!" I yelled out in surprise, dropping my sword. "What the-?"

She was a mare, it seemed, with a bright-pink body colour and hot pink mane that seemed to bounced about her head with curls like I've never seen before. Her eyes sparkled brightly as her smile did just as much. She looked over me in curiosity, paying close attention to my eyes. As she grew closer, I moved my head away from her, leaving us in an awkward silence. "Uhh...hi?" I said uneasily.

The suspicion instantly disappeared from her expression, and she automatically responded positively with a gasp and another smile, she bounced in her place. "Hi!" she said joyously. "OhmygoodnessyoumustnotbefromaroundherebecauseIknowjustaboutifnoteveryponyfromaroundhereandyoudon'tseemfamiliar..." she spoke so quick I could barely understand what was going on.

She began to speak in her without-a-breath sort of way until I stopped her mid-sentence. "Hold on there...pinky..." I said, calling her such a ridiculous name according to her even more ridiculous colour pattern.

She gasped again, "How did you KNOW that was my name?!" she asked excitedly, stopping her bouncing.

I was reluctant to respond, but slowly replied, "Lucky...guess?"

"My name is Pinkie Pie!"

"Hi...Pinkie Pie." I tried to look behind her to figure out where I was. Of course, that wouldn't be of much help, I didn't know the first thing about Equestria, every lesson Max tried to teach me about the lands that I so loathed I simply ignored. He always told me I'd be in Equestria one day, but I never believed him...which mean he knew I'd be turned into a pony, too! Dammit Max... "So...what were you trying to say?"

She cleared her throat, and with a smile, began again as she bounced in place again too. "My name is Pinkie Pie. And welcome to Equestria!"

I looked at her with a confused look. "I'm Nick and...wait, what makes you think I'm not from Equestria? I'm...I think..." I trailed off, looking over my new forme, "...that I'm I pony, right?"

"Yeah, but you just don't have the same...feeling as an Equestrian pony..."

Equestrian...pony. That makes plenty of sense. "How so?"

She looked into my eyes again, examining them really hard. "Well, everypony has a gleam and a sparkle in their eyes that say 'hi! I wanna be your friend!' but yours is something kinda like 'I really feel like killing somepony right now'." she finished, trying to imitate a lower voice. "Plus, you really look like a mare, but I...think you're a stallion? I dunno but anyway welcome!"

"I don't look like a mare...do I?" I asked, looking over my hooves.

She nodded, "Yeah, you have the face and body of a mare, but you have a stallion voice and attitude!"

"Whaddyamean, attitude?"

She smiled brightly yet again, "Exactly!"

I sighed irritably, "Where am I?"

"You are right outside of Ponyville! Right about...thattaway!" she said with a hoof in the air to the right. "But one way I can tell you're not from around here because I know everypony in Ponyville and I don't know you, and I also saw you appear here last night OH you should've been there- well I guess you sorta were but I mean you should've SEEN it it was sooo cool! You were like BOOM and there was this flash of light and I just happened to be passing by and I was like 'Ooohh' and I watched you ever since then but how's a good way to get to know you better..." she trailed off. Good thing, too, she was beginning to speak at the speed of light again. "Ooh, ooh! I know! I'll throw you a super-duper-special-surprise welcoming party!" she yelled into the morning air as she jumped into it with the biggest smile yet. Her eyes shot open as she realized she had said it out loud, and she slowly floated back down to the ground. "Youdidn'thearthatthough!" she said quickly before quickly jumping back into the air, gone within a second with a only a cloud of dust to prove her presence.

I looked to the right over to where she said "Ponyville" was, but she was completely gone. I saw the town, but not her galloping towards it. I blinked a couple times in disbelief before getting ready to follow her. When I turned around to fetch my sword still on the ground, I noticed movement in the darkness. When I pointed my blade at it, I realized that it was Stealth, also in a different forme. He was shorter and stouter now, with no wings but still the same coal-black scales. This breed of dragon I did recognize from Max's teachings as a Messenger Dragon. "Of course..." I muttered to myself as I picked him up with my mouth on the back of his neck between my teeth like a cat and her kitten, and placed him on my back, sitting on the saddle.

Now completely irritated and annoyed by Equestria, only being there for about fifteen minutes and I was already sick of the place. I sheathed my sword yet again back in its place, and I quitted the cave, heading for the town of Ponyville.