Four Years Later -
The Christmas Eve parties continued. They grew a little over the years as others were invited to the celebration. Emily came, the one year that she spent Christmas in Nashville. Zoey flew in one year with her boyfriend. Deacon, Rayna and Daphne would come if they weren't having a party of their own. Last year, Maddie had stopped by for a little while and then left to meet with her friends. Gunnar always hosted - well, Gunnar and Scarlett always hosted the party at their house. Will always barbequed, even the year a freakish blizzard hit the city a few days before Christmas Eve. Scarlett always baked an array of cookies and there was always singing, with Gunnar now threatening to record their songs into Christmas album. The gag gift tradition continued as well and that cushioned toilet seat made an appearance at every party. Avery had gotten stuck with it this time and Juliette had already stashed it away in the closet for next year.
Cadence had been so excited for Christmas. She loved being doted on by her all uncles and her Auntie Scar. She had spent two days with Scarlett and Gunnar at the Gaylord Opryland and didn't stop talking about it for days afterwards. Will and Kevin took her to an outdoor lights festival and Papa Glenn had taken her to see The Nutcracker. She'd even gotten to help Scarlett bake cookies for the party and loved it when her Uncle Gunnar made a huge deal out of how good they were.
Juliette thought her daughter would sleep late since they'd gotten home after midnight, but Christmas morning Cadence was up early and ran circles around the living room, begging her mother to let her open her presents.
"Not yet. You know we have to eat breakfast first." Juliette glanced up from the mixing bowl and saw her daughter's blonde hair streaking past the couch again. She put the egg she was about to crack back in the carton. "Okay, Cady Jo. Come here." Juliette left the kitchen and went into the living room, picking up the little girl that barreled into her arms. She grabbed the toy microphone that had been one of Will and Kevin's gifts the night before. "Why don't you sit right here," she sat Cadence in one of the chairs surrounding the island, "and sing Mama a song while she finishes breakfast."
"Okay." Cadence raised the microphone to her lips and then put it back down in her lap. She cocked her head to the side. "Mama, what should I sing?"
Juliette cracked the egg over the mixing bowl, grimacing when a piece of shell fell in with it. "Shoot." She glanced up at Cadence. "Um, I don't know, baby." She stuck a finger in the bowl and slid the broken shell up the side, feeling triumphant when it didn't slide back in. "How about Jingle Bells?"
Her daughter started in on her song and Juliette stopped whisking the eggs and watched Cadence until she finished. "That was beautiful, Cady Jo. You sounded real good."
"You want to hear it again, Mama?"
"Of course I do," Juliette said. She poured a little milk in the bowl of eggs and continued whisking. "You keep singing while I finish this and then we'll wake Daddy and-"
"And then presents?"
"And then presents." Juliette poured the eggs into the skillet and broke off a piece of bacon to pop in her mouth.
"Daddy!" Cadence squealed.
"Morning, sweetheart."
Juliette turned around as Avery walked through the living room. He stopped by the chair Juliette had pulled out and kissed the top of Cadence's head. "You and Mama are up early."
"Hey, baby. I figured I'd let you sleep in this year," Juliette said, stepping over to get her own kiss. She pressed her lips to his, enjoying the rush of warmth of flooded her body whenever she was near her husband. "I'm almost finished," she said turning back to the stove. She opened the oven door, pulling on an oven mitt to lift the French toast casserole out and set it on a trivet.
"Looks good."
"Yes, I did a very good job taking it from the refrigerator and sliding it in the oven."
"Regular Betty Crocker," he said, snagging a piece of bacon for himself.
She made a face at him, but raised herself up on her toes to kiss him again. "Could you set the table please? As soon as these eggs are done, we'll be good to go." She'd just picked up a spatula when they heard the cries coming through the monitor on the counter.
"You go," Avery said, taking the spatula out of her hand. "I've got this."
"All right." She took the dishtowel from her shoulder and put it on his, then left the kitchen. "Sing for Daddy, Cady Jo. Mama will be back in a minute." She patted Cadence on the head as she walked by, quickening her steps as the cries got louder. She jogged through her bedroom and down the hallway to the nursery. "Hey, hey," she said, approaching the crib. The baby girl's cries slowed to a whimper and she pulled up on the crib railing, reaching her hands out towards her mother. "Look who's awake." She picked her daughter up, kissing the dark curls that clung to her forehead. "Good morning. Let's get you a fresh diaper and some breakfast. How does that sound?" She laid the baby on the changing table and tickled her belly, finally getting a smile from the 10-month old. "There's my sunny girl." Juliette changed her diaper and refastened her clothes, smoothing her hand over the words, "First Christmas" on the pajamas that were, of course, a gift from Gunnar and Scarlett. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I know you'd probably rather eat in here, but your big sister is so excited about her gifts. It's gonna be breakfast on the go." She adjusted her top so the baby could nurse and started down the hallway holding her daughter in her arms.
The baby reached up, putting her hands on her mother's mouth. She'd done that since she was tiny. If Juliette didn't look at her while she nursed, the baby would pat her face as if she were calling her mother's attention back down to her. Juliette stopped in the master bedroom, pausing in front of the bed and hummed the same tune that she had when Cadence took her bottles, rocking a little as she stared down at her daughter. Avery said he couldn't tell, but Juliette swore her eyes were slowly changing from the bright blue she'd had as a newborn, growing more and more green with every day that passed.
Saying their second daughter had not been planned was an understatement. Juliette cried for hours after the first pregnancy test came out positive. She sent Emily to the store for more and took them in succession, breaking down a little more each time she saw the results in the display window. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Emily took Cadence home with her so Juliette could tell Avery, but when he got home from the studio, she burst into fresh tears and could only point at the test sticks still on the counter in their bathroom. He sat her on the edge of the bathtub and crouched beside her, assuring her that everything would be okay. He spoke her fears aloud, saying that if she got PPD a second time, they would recognize it and get help. He promised her they wouldn't lose each other again. Despite his words, she could see the anxiousness in his eyes and she slid off the lip of the tub and pulled him close. They sat on the bathroom floor, holding each other and she prayed that he was right.
And then the pregnancy was a difficult one, more so than Cadence's had been. She knew she wouldn't be able to perform or travel, but the factor V Leiden was more of an issue the second time around and after a scare at the end of her first trimester, she had to take daily shots of an anticoagulant to prevent developing another blood clot. Avery would give them to her, twice a day, pinching the skin of her belly and injecting the medicine slowly. He apologized after each one, no matter how many times she told him he didn't have to.
"It's not your fault. It's my gene mutation," she'd said.
By her seventh month, her stomach was already stretched tight and it was difficult to find a place where she had enough loose skin to pinch. One night he'd stared at the dark bruises lining her abdomen and touched his fingers to her skin. She noticed the tears in his eyes and struggled to sit up on their bed. "What's wrong?"
"We can't do this again, Juliette. It tears me up inside to do this to you every day."
"Oh, babe." She reached over and wiped his tears and they agreed that two daughters would be enough and there would be no more pregnancies, unplanned or otherwise.
At first, the threat of post-partum depression loomed overhead like a dark shadow and she was terrified about the possibility of getting it again, but Avery kept reminding her that it wasn't a guarantee and there wasn't much sense in driving herself crazy about something that might not happen. She started going to therapy again, proactively, and Dr. Kitley agreed that maintaining a high-risk pregnancy was enough to worry about.
Once they explained it to Cadence, she was as happy about it as any toddler could be. She constantly asked when she would get to meet her new sister and Juliette would never forget the smile on her face the first time she felt the baby kick.
Avery was just as attentive as he had been in her final months when they were expecting Cadence, which was a good thing because her second pregnancy lasted a full month longer than her first. The baby was a week overdue and when she finally went into labor, Juliette was so relived she could have laughed through the first couple contractions.
Later, Avery held their new daughter, adjusting the hospital-issued beanie over the baby's curls that were as dark as his own. "Now that we've met her, are we still set on Melody for the name?"
She'd thought about how they'd struggled to find a name for Cadence. The middle name had come easier. Juliette had known that she wanted their daughter's middle name to be Jolene weeks before she was born. Avery said he didn't mind, but he had asked her why, considering everything that had happened.
"I know I spend a lot of time talking about the bad, but there was some good between us too," She'd told him. "Mama was working so hard on getting better and I can forgive her now. I'd like to think that if she were here, she'd enjoy being a grandma."
Thinking back to that conversation, Juliette knew that she wanted their second daughter's name to reflect the forgiveness she'd received from her loved ones when she was struggling to get her life back together.
"I want to name her Melody Grace," she said. "Because grace is what got me back home."
They brought Melody Grace Barkley home and Cadence, who was still having trouble pronouncing her l's, immediately christened her sister Mewodie and then shortened it to Odie when the baby was a few weeks old. She was the best big sister, and Juliette and Avery often told her that. They would let the toddler hold her little sister, supporting the baby's weight while Cadence wrapped her arms around the receiving blanket. Juliette often got tears in her eyes when she saw them together. She often felt overwhelmed with love for the two of them, and amazed that she had somehow been so blessed to be their mother. Cadence asked her why she was crying one evening when Avery brought her in their bedroom to kiss the baby good night.
"Mama's crying happy tears," she'd said.
Avery lifted Cadence onto his hip and looked at her, his eyes more intense than usual. She recognized that look and knew he was just making sure she was okay. She'd caught all of them, Emily, Glenn and even Bo, watching her a little more closely since she'd given birth. And although it sometimes annoyed her for them to regard her as if she were a bomb waiting to go off, their concern endeared them to her. She was incredibly thankful to have them as her family. Now that Melody Grace was nearing her first birthday, everyone was relaxing a bit more as if they were all beginning to believe that the demon of post-partum depression that had nearly destroyed her life wasn't going to plague them again.
She'd been able to enjoy her second child's first months in a way that she hadn't with Cadence. The guilt from that would sneak up unexpectedly, tugging at her happiness. The first time Melody Grace rolled over in her crib, the baby had looked up, her mouth and eyes opened wide as if she couldn't understand how the world had gone topsy turvy. Juliette laughed at her expression and then felt an unwelcome wave of sadness when she thought about not being there to witness that moment with Cadence.
Juliette had learned to talk to her husband when she had those feelings instead of bottling it up and dwelling on it for days. Avery was her safe haven and she knew with complete certainty that she could trust him with all of her brokenness and he would be her strength when she was weak. He held her and listened and then told her not to focus so much on what she had missed and that she had many, many more first moments to look forward to with both of their daughters.
She chose to enjoy the milestones - she had absolutely relished the first time their infant daughter slept through the night - but also the humdrum of their everyday routine. So when Melody Grace patted her face with her tiny hand, Juliette stopped and gazed into her gorgeous eyes, giving the baby her complete attention. She kissed her daughter's hand and then held it in her own.
"I see you, baby girl. Mama sees you." She stood in front of the bed for a few more moments, nursing her daughter in the quiet room until she heard Avery calling her from the kitchen. "All right," Juliette said to the child in her arms. "Let's go say good morning to Daddy and Cady Jo and see what else this big girl wants for breakfast. 'Cause it's not just milk, huh?" She left their bedroom, slowly heading towards the kitchen. "Not just mama's milk anymore."
The baby released her mother's nipple and reached her hand up again. "Mama," she said, touching Juliette's mouth.
It was the first time her daughter had directed the word to her and it hadn't been random babbling. Tears sprang to Juliette's eyes. "Yes. I'm Mama," she said, kissing her baby's chubby fingers. "I'm Mama and you're my grace. My sweet, perfect Melody Grace."
Every year, Juliette marveled at how different the holiday was for her daughters than it had been for her when she was a child. Cadence and Melody Grace would never know hunger pains or the disappointment of waking up to nothing on Christmas, no tree and no presents. They always had a tree set up in the living room and her mother-in-law sent personalized ornaments; this year a first Christmas globe for Melody Grace and a silver C for Cadence. Juliette found that she enjoyed decorating for the holidays, hanging stockings for each of them from the fireplace and choosing a wreath for the front door. Even more than that, she loved the look on her daughter's face when she opened her presents. She and Avery never bought a lot, preferring to give a few very special and very wanted gifts rather than spoiling the girls with a lot of toys.
Cadence's got her favorite gift from Santa, a little doll that had been at the top of her Christmas list. "Mama," she squealed, running to show Juliette the toy. "Look! Now I have a baby too."
"Oh, she's cute! Let me see your baby," Juliette said as if she hadn't wrapped the toy just hours before. "What's her name?"
Cadence thought about it. "Can I name her Avery?"
"You want to name her after your daddy?" Juliette asked.
Cadence's chin bobbed up and down as she nodded enthusiastically.
"Well, look at that." Juliette leaned back against her husband's chest as they sat on the couch watching the girls play. "She named our grandbaby after you."
She felt his laughter rumbling through him and he wrapped one arm around her. "Look," he said, pointing at Melody Grace as she used the ottoman to pull herself into a standing position. "She's going to be walking soon."
"I know," Juliette said, pouting a little. She twisted around so she could see his face. "Are you happy with what you got?"
"Absolutely," he said. "Especially with my favorite gift sitting in my lap." He pulled her in for a kiss and she melted against him, smoothing her hands across his chest.
"I love you, baby," she said, looking into his eyes. "Merry Christmas."
"I love you," he said. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Barkley."
After presents, they went out for a walk. It was a sunny winter day with no hint of snow, but the air was crisp and they bundled their daughters up. Cadence tucked her baby doll in the toy stroller she'd also unwrapped from under the Christmas tree and set off down the sidewalk in front of her parents. Juliette pushed the stroller while Avery walked beside her, holding a travel mug of coffee.
One of their neighbors, Mrs. Thompson happened to be outside and she stopped them at the end of her driveway to wish them a merry Christmas.
She leaned over to peek at the baby in the stroller. "She's a sweetheart. Spitting image of her father," she said, smiling at Avery. She turned to Juliette and teased, "Did you have anything to do with her at all?"
"I've got the stretchmarks to prove it," Juliette said, her voice sweet.
She continued to gush over the baby until Cadence tugged on Avery's hand, ready to continue on their way.
"You know she was teasing," he said as they walked away, watching as Cadence ran a few steps in front of them.
"I know she was," Juliette said. "And she does favor you." They took a few more steps in silence. "I was pregnant for 10 months, labored for 9 and a half hours and gained 54 pounds just to pop out a female version of you, but-"
"Forty-one weeks and it was just a little over 8 hours," he corrected, taking a sip of his coffee. "And you were beautiful the entire time."
"But I wouldn't have it any other way," she said, finishing the sentence with a smile.
He leaned over and kissed her temple. They walked further down the street until they neared a corner. Avery called out to Cadence to come back and take his hand so they could cross and Juliette looked in on the baby.
"Odie's asleep already," she said once they got to the other side of the street.
"Are we really going to call her Odie?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he frowned. "I heard Will and Gunnar calling her that yesterday."
"Babe, I think that ship has sailed."
"Odie Barkely," he said with a shake of his head. "Not exactly the name I envisioned for my daughter."
"Come on. Odie Barkely doesn't sound like the name of a hit country artist to you?"
He chuckled. "That's not the first thing that comes to mind. More like wrestler or professional hockey player."
"Maybe she'll be a wrestler or a professional hockey player," Juliette said, shrugging her shoulders. "I want our girls to know they can do anything."
"I agree. And if they're anything like their mama they'll succeed at whatever they chose to do."
She glanced at him, loving the way his mouth curved into a smile when he looked at her. "I love you," she said. The words were completely inadequate for how she felt about her husband, but she said them. She said them often, hoping they conveyed a spark of how grateful she was to be his wife, friend and the mother of his children. Her family was a precious thing and she did not take a single second of her life for granted, knowing too well how fragile it could be.
"Babe," Avery said, interrupting her thoughts. "Have you thought out about what you want to do about nursing when the tour starts?"
The Truth Is tour had been in the works since they'd finally finished the album she had partially completed when she found out she was pregnant. She had fulfilled her contract with Luke and the new tour would be the first since her return to Highway 65. Juliette would be forever thankful to Rayna for even considering welcoming her back into the fold. Co-headlining was Rayna's idea and as much as she had hated it before, Juliette knew it meant a slightly shorter set, which she and Avery were hoping would be a little easier to manage with two little ones along for the ride. The first leg was already sold out and Avery was wrapping up the projects he was working on so he could go with her, at least at first.
Everything was different now that they had two daughters to think of and she was mentally preparing herself for months of being on the road and also thinking that it would probably be her last big tour for a while. Cadence was due to start kindergarten in the fall and Juliette had already decided that no matter how successful the tour was, she wouldn't agree to extending it because she didn't want to miss her daughter's first year of school. Time was already passing too fast. She had a hard time believing that Melody Grace would be having her first birthday right after Valentine's Day.
"I'm gonna wean her. I don't necessarily want to, but I don't want to deal with pumping and all that while we're on the road. I wanted to make it a year and we'll be close to that by the time the tour launches."
"How do you think that's going to go?"
"I think she's gonna fight it with every ounce of her little body, but we'll get through it."
Cold air whirled around them as a breeze blew through, rattling the naked trees on the street. Juliette looked ahead to where Cadence had stopped walking and was picking something up off the ground.
"Ready to head back?" Avery asked.
"Yes," she said. "It's getting chilly."
He called for Cadence to come back so they could turn around. "Look!" she ran back to them, her cheeks bright and flush with cold. She held up a rock she'd found, thrusting it in Avery's direction. "It's a heart."
He took it from her and held it up to inspect it; the white rock was indeed heart-shaped.
"That's for you, Daddy."
"Is it for me?" His voice was full of love as if she'd presented him with a diamond instead of a bit of gravel.
"Yep." She ran back to get her toy stroller, blonde pigtails bouncing behind her.
"That little girl has got you wrapped around her finger," Juliette said. "Completely."
Avery smiled at her and slid his arm around her waist, pulling her into a hug. "All my girls do," he said. He leaned over to check on the sleeping baby. "Even…Odie."
She laughed at his expression, as if he'd tasted something he didn't like. They walked another block back towards their house, calling out to Cadence every now and then to slow down and wait for them.
"I can't believe Scarlett and Gunnar are going to have a baby," he said, taking another sip of coffee.
Juliette giggled, remembering how excited Gunnar had been before they'd made their announcement. He'd almost blurted it out before Scarlett had a chance to get up from her seat. "I think he'll be a great daddy," she said. "And they've been trying for a while."
"I know. I'm happy that it worked out for them."
She didn't say anything for the next few steps, but then finally admitted, "It does make me sad to think that this is our last baby." She glanced at him. "Soon she's gonna be running up there with Cadence and then they're gonna go to kindergarten and then to college."
"That's a bit of a leap, Juliette."
"You know what I mean. I just want to enjoy every single moment before they grow up into teenagers and tell us we've ruined their lives."
He chuckled. "Well, today we have a preschooler and a 10-month old who are both very happy with their parents, Cadence especially since she got almost everything she wanted for Christmas. As for the rest of our lives, we'll just keep doing what we've been doing. Taking each day one by one."
"One by one." she repeated. That was how they had finally come back together years ago, taking each day as it came. He rescinded the order to terminate her parental rights and they went to therapy for a while. They moved slowly, but both of them were committed to working on their marriage and ultimately he would tell her that he thought it had strengthened their relationship.
They walked back to their house and Facetimed the grandparents, including Papa Glenn. After dinner, they put both their girls to bed (it took Avery some time to convince Cadence not to pile her new toys in the bed with her) and settled in the living room.
Avery dimmed the lights and plugged in the tree and they faced each other on the couch, sipping mugs of hot chocolate. As they had done the past few years, they reflected on the day. How successful they'd been at playing Santa, sneaking the gifts from their closet to the tree after they got home from the Christmas Eve party. How happy Cadence was with her presents and how quickly Melody Grace had taken to ripping wrapping paper off boxes. They strategized over how they were going to get rid of the toilet seat at next year's Christmas Eve party. They argued, playfully, over the last of the leftover barbeque. They talked about work; Avery's plans for Deacon's next album and a new song idea that had been bouncing around in Juliette's head for days. They sat together in silence and enjoyed each other's presence.
"Listen," Avery said, smoothing his hand over her leg. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you. Remember that I promised you that we could go anywhere you wanted for a honeymoon. I was thinking maybe next year around this time we could go somewhere. The tour will be over by then and Cadence will be on her first holiday break from school."
She cocked her head to the side, unconsciously mimicking her daughter's gesture from earlier in the day. "Avery, I'm surprised at you. I think Gunnar would hunt us down if we didn't show up at his house on Christmas Eve next year."
"Thought you might want to do something different."
"I don't," she said. She laced the fingers of her hand with his. "This is my honeymoon. Every day that I get to spend with you and our girls. And the only thing I want you to promise is that we'll keep having our Christmases here in Nashville with our family."
He used his free hand to caress the side of her face, staring at her with that look he had, the one that could start the butterflies fluttering in her stomach from across the room. "Juliette Barnes Barkley," he said. "I promise you that we'll keep having our Christmases here in Nashville with our family for the rest of our lives. You've got me forever, baby."
She straddled his lap, smiling wickedly before leaning over to place her lips next to his ear. She twirled her tongue around his earlobe, then whispered, "Are you ready to unwrap your gift?" She sat up, unbuttoning her top to reveal the lacy red bra underneath.
He raised one eyebrow at her, his mouth breaking into a grin. "God, I love you," he said, lifting her from the couch. She wrapped her arms about his neck and pulled him in for a kiss as he carried her to their bedroom.
And we're done! I hope you enjoyed this little Christmas story as much as I enjoyed writing it!