A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Gordon, Billy-Ray, Tesseract, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still Val's point of view. 'Stardust' is a standard, done by countless artists. There is some suggestive content ahead, so be forewarned. Oh, I am American so I'm not picking on US citizens here. Well, maybe a little.

Later that afternoon I sat drowsing in my office chair. I had left Skulduggery to 'The Gentleman Detective' and had my music player out. My earbuds were in, and my eyes were closed, so I didn't even see the skeletal fingers that must have crept up silently. Suddenly the jack to my Skullcandy earbuds was tugged loose, and 'Stardust' poured into the room. I started, fumbling for my player, while Skulduggery laughed hysterically. "You listen to Mel Torme?" He wheezed in delight.

I glared at him. "Only a few songs! 'Stardust' is just nice to listen to. God, Skulduggery!" I felt the heat rise to my face, and he only laughed harder, slapping my desk in amusement.

"My partner listens to The Velvet Fog." He tittered, reaching up a skeletal finger to wipe away non-existent tears of amusement. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"This is not funny." I growled. "Me liking his music is no more strange than me watching 'The Paris Express' to see Claude Rains." I immediately clamped my hand over my mouth as Skulduggery staggered backwards slightly, his mirth increasing.

"Who's been," he wheezed, "such a good influence," his spasms of laughter increased, "on you? That's right, me!" I just buried my head in my hands and at that moment I understood why Ghastly did it so often. The only thing to do now was to wait for Skulduggery's amusement with teasing me to pass, and it was, slightly.

"What I was going to ask you was if you'd like to go to a late lunch at the diner. I'll confess I'm not keen on training right now as I really don't want to bat around the future mother to my children." I got up and went to him, easily entering his embrace. I knew some women would have been disgusted to feel nothing but bone up against them, repelled by his hardness as opposed to the relative softness of human flesh, but I found him comforting, I always had. Skulduggery craned his head down, kissing me softly, one skeletal hand caressing my cheek gently. He pulled back, gazing down at me in utter adoration. He knew how to make up for teasing me, I'd give him that.

"To tell you the truth," I said, settling into his bones even closer, "I don't want to bat the future father of my children around either. At least not until he's given me children, at any rate."

Skulduggery made an amused sound. "Well then, lunch it is. Let's be off then."

We walked towards the Bentley our arms around each other, and Skulduggery stopped to open my door for me. I smiled at him and I could feel him blush through the disguise. He still wasn't used to me showing him appreciation or affection, and he might never get used it it, I reflected. I remembered to lean across and push his door open, and he gave me a surprised look when he got in. "Seat belt. Wherever did you pick up that kind gesture from?"

"You know, I don't know. I just remember hearing somewhere a woman should do that for the man driving. I guess my mom told me."

He put the Bentley into drive before answering. "I admire the women of your family more and more. I admire you more and more, no offense meant Valkyrie, but you really have changed on this case. You're not so-"

"Self-centered and thoughtless?"

"I was going to say unaware of me in certain ways, but yes. You are more thoughtful towards me, it is certainly true, kind even, though you have always been kindly towards me. You've matured, and yes, you are less self-centered. Taking an interest in the case, becoming my full partner, it is much appreciated." He paused, seemingly unsure as how to go on. "You're also more aware of me as a man, and that is appreciated most of all. I think if you asked me to dry you off after a shower now I couldn't be held responsible for my actions."

I felt myself turn bright red. "Sorry about that, Skulduggery. I was aware I had feelings for you then but I still saw you as my best friend and partner. I didn't see you as a man, not the same way I do now. That must have been awkward for you."

"Oh, I didn't mind too much." He said, a rather devilish note coming into his velvety voice. "I did after all, hide my face form you, but got to see you reflection naked. That was a lot of fun actually, even if I did realize it was seriously malfunctioning."

"Skulduggery! I wasn't even seventeen yet!"

"Well, that will teach you not to prance around naked in front of your mentor, now, won't it? At least not until after we are married. Besides, I'm teasing, I wasn't quite attracted to you at that point, though drying you off after a shower and seeing you naked in bed except for a sheet at times didn't help things much."

"Oh God, Skulduggery. I didn't even realize-"

"I know you didn't. You saw me as 'safe' and I wasn't about to do anything to break that trust, even when I did start to become interested. You really do try the limits of a gentleman's self-control at times, but it gave me a chance to prove I am indeed a gentleman, so I didn't mind too much." I groaned and he patted my shoulder fondly. "I'm much happier these things happened with me than anyone else, you know. So, as awkward as it was, I was rather happy it was me, because I knew I'd never hurt you. I used to wake up suddenly from meditation when I'd think of what could have happened with another, lesser man."

"I was terribly lucky, wasn't I?"

"Indeed you were, but you are luckier still now because you'll have me as a husband. Then I'll get my revenge on you for traipsing around in your all together. Or all the times you managed to get your shirt shredded to pieces."

"Skulduggery!"

He laughed, reached down to turn on the radio. Mel Torme came on, singing scat. "Fancy that." He said, clearly amused.

"You know, I'm fairly sure I listened to him before I met you."

"Of course you did, Valkyrie. At least now you can admit you listen to him."

"Skulduggery-"

He glanced over at me. "I'm not joking. I'd rather you be open about things than skulking around with Dizzy Gillespie albums."

"You know about that?" I slid lower into my seat.

"Oh, yes indeed. You should have seen your head swivel around one day when we passed a cafe and 'Tin Tin Deo' was on. I thought you'd given yourself whiplash."

I said nothing the rest of the way to the diner, and Skulduggery drove on in amused silence.

At the diner Reba was happy to see us. "Well hello, you two. Sit right on down. The usual, hon?" I nodded. Reba cocked her head at Skulduggery and he shook his head 'no'. She smiled at him and went off for my coffee. It felt kind of odd being there, considering even now a young detective was supposed to be listening in somewhere.

I raised an eyebrow to Skulduggery and he shook his head. Apparently the stakeout had been a bust then, or he'd arranged for them to not listen, or he just didn't care if we were overheard. I'd often wondered how sorcerors could talk freely in public and the truth was, fairly easily. I knew enough not to mention magic of course, and if we did mention a case it must have sounded normal. Skulduggery of course seemed to have other things on his mind. "Still no sign of your picks, we can use mine this evening if you want to practice. I'd also like an excuse to see Gordon, to tell you the truth."

"That sounds great actually. I do want to know he's OK before we do anything."

"He should be. I've been meaning to ask you, after we marry-"

"I'll maintain the mansion and we can visit. I can't see you being happy there. You like your home, our home, and so do I. A man should have his own territory, after all."

"That he should-"

"The mansion will be ours, Skulduggery, not mine, so get that idea out of your head right now."

"When did you pick up the skill of mind reading? Everyone will think I married you for your fortune." He teased.

"If I ever thought that, the roses would look lovely that year." I said dryly.

"My, my. Again with the bone meal. What a fierce woman you turned out to be. How to settle the money situation, then? I don't expect you to pay for anything, clearly, unless I think it is far too extravagant. I'll let you know right now I'll feel free to tell you not to spend anything."

"We leave our accounts in our own names, then? It works for me, and if you even mention a pre-nup I'll kick you."

"Well, it would be wise on your part. How do you know I won't turn out be a bitter divorcé?"

"The father of my children won't be going anywhere soon. Even if I have to chain you in the basement." I growled.

"How you talk! You're serious about children then?"

"Of course! Aren't you?" We paused as my coffee arrived. Reba smiled at us both, then went to wait on other customers.

"Indeed I am, though truth be told, I don't have the greatest track record when it comes to protecting my family." He said it lightly, but I could hear the sting of pain in his voice. The man needed cheering up. Now.

"You were never married to a homicidal, gun-wielding maniac before either. I'm sure the children will be just as mentally unstable as their mother. If anyone breaks in it will be us they have to worry about."

"You were well named indeed, Valkyrie Cain."

"As were you, Skulduggery Pleasant." He beamed at me and the burger arrived. Reba flashed us another smile and refilled my coffee.

"Beautiful day, isn't it hon? You two get out for a nice drive and enjoy yourselves, hear?" We both nodded politely and she beamed at us both before setting the check down and strolling away.

"You know, I'm starting to like that woman." Skulduggery murmured.

"Not every American is bad, Skulduggery."

"I was thinking not every Texan is bad, but yes, that is also true."

"We shouldn't be blaming the great state of Texas for Billy-Ray. I don't think he was born, he hatched."

"Valkyrie!"

"What? He's a total reptile, Skulduggery, I'm surprised he doesn't have a forked tongue."

"Now there's a lovely image. He is cheerful though, you have to give him that."

"I didn't think he picked his name for a ruddy complexion."

"When did we start learning big words?" Skulduggery teased.

"Sanguine isn't that big of a word. I will admit to having to look up Tesseract though. I'm still not sure what he was thinking."

"No, neither do I. He would have been an interesting man to know, if I didn't want to kill him."

"You have that reaction to a lot of people you meet."

"True, I blame the war. Finished? Then let's be off." Skulduggery paid and we walked out the Bentley. "Well, we can have that lovely drive to Gordon's and keep our promise to Reba. I'm just as anxious as you are to explore the locked rooms. Gordon told me once some had been locked ever since he moved in. He just never had an interest in opening them. Strange."

I laughed as we got in. "Not everyone was born with your endless curiosity, Skulduggery."

"Mmm. Seat belt. They should have been. The world would be a much more interesting place if we were all detectives." He pulled out of the parking lot smoothly.

"We'd most likely be out of a job, then."

"Heavens no! We'd still be the best, the rest could emulate our fine example." He made another of his happy chirrups again.

"I like seeing you this jubilant. It suits you."

"You suit me."

It was late afternoon when we arrived at the mansion, and the Westering sun blazing off the windows was a lovely sight. For a moment the whole house seemed to glow from inside, to be alive. I swore I saw movement of the blinds in Gordon's study. "Skulduggery?" I asked in alarm, already getting out.

He answered as we broke into a run. "I saw it. Open the door, then stay behind me." I did as he asked, biting back the temptation to ask if he wasn't just going to kick it in. The key of course as keys always do at vital times, broke off in the lock. "Stand back." Skulduggery ordered. Gun still drawn he splayed his other hand towards the door, manipulating the air and striking it with enough force that the door exploded inwards. We took the stairs at a run, Skulduggery already calling out to Uncle Gordon.

We reached his study at a dead run, Gordon turning to look at us in surprise. "Where is he?" Skulduggery barked.

Uncle Gordon looked mystified. "Where is who? And what in Heaven's name was that dreadful crash?"

"Where is the person who moved the blinds, Gordon?" Skulduggery demanded.

"Oh, that. That was me."

"But you can't touch anything." I said, confused.

"But I can voice-activate things, Valkyrie. It was your idea I get the room mechanized for my comfort. Oh dear, you both saw the movement and thought I was in trouble, didn't you?" We nodded. Skulduggery holstered his gun. "That's very touching, but you both realize I'm not alive, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter." We said in unison.

My uncle smiled. "Well it's good to know you both care for me. But I suppose the door is a total loss, isn't it?" He sighed. "I thought this would happen so there's an extra one in storage in the closet in the main hallway, several in fact. I'd appreciate it if the two of you went and did repairs now. The sun is setting and you never know what will wander in."

We both went down the stairs, and I tried hard not to laugh and failed. "I don't see what is so funny." Skulduggery grumbled. "You don't have to do all the heavy lifting."

"That's what? The third door you've blown off this mansion, Skulduggery? I think you have a deep-rooted hatred for them. Besides, you know I'm here to help." I sad and he smiled in reply.

We'd reached the closet and Skulduggery reached for the replacement door. "Why don't you get the debris as best you can, Valkyrie, and I'll work on taking the rest of the old door down? I think you'll find a broom in there somewhere."

"Isn't that what manipulating air is for?" I asked skeptically.

"Well yes, but well- Go ahead. Should I stand back? I don't want shards of wood stuck in my eye sockets." He muttered. I gave him a pointed look, then turned back to the ruined mess that was the foyer before Skulduggery had blasted the door. Gently I manipulated the air, gathering debris off the stairs, floor, and even some that had embedded into the walls into one tidy pile.

I smiled at Skulduggery smugly, and he tossed me a look half way between pleased at my progress and utterly annoyed at me having thought of using magic first. He'd set the new door to one side, and now his gloved hands flexed in the air. I watched as the screws holding the hinges unscrewed and came away, then the hinges themselves, the shattered pieces of the door followed them to the pile I'd started. Skulduggery looked at me, gloating.

He used the air to manipulate the new door into place, and installed it as well, all without touching it. He tested it from where he stood, opening and closing it several times, using the air. Satisfied he turned to me smugly. "Now that is air manipulation."

"Lord, you're competitive."

"Yes, yes I am. But you're impressed aren't you? I can tell."

"Yes, Skulduggery, I'm impressed, but we still have the debris to take care of."

"Oh, that." He said. He idly used the air to gather it together, keeping it tightly compressed, and walked it out the back to leave it in the same wheelie bin he'd used when he'd destroyed the door the night I'd met him. The night he had saved my life. He sauntered back in, looking even more pleased with himself than usual. Seeing him, remembering that night, and that he'd come to be the man I was in love with, I went to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Skulduggery returned my affection in full measure, pulling away with a contented murmur.

"Well, let's go see if Gordon has forgiven us for killing his door yet, though he should really be praising us for coming to the rescue." Skulduggery said, ruffling my hair fondly. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and I thought we were going to walk up the stairs together, but his other arm came around me and we rose in the air to land in the second storey hallway. Skulduggery titled his head at me when we landed, making another of his delighted chirrups. "That was fun. Didn't think I'd ever get to do that again, considering."

"Considering what, Skulduggery?"

"Well, you have the armour now, and soon you'll Surge, you won't need me to take you places anymore."

I pulled him into a tight hug. "I'll always need you, Skulduggery Pleasant. Don't you ever forget that. I kissed his temporal bone lightly and I swear the man purred in response. He certainly blinked though I still wasn't sure how.

"Then I'll always be here for you. Though I hope I mean far more to you than a glorified air taxi." He teased.

We walked back to Uncle Gordon's study, and he shook his head at us. "Took you two long enough. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We want permission to pick the locks on any locked doors we might find in the mansion." Skulduggery said.

"Permission granted, provided one of you will carry me along on this expedition. Valkyrie?"

"Of course, Uncle." I picked up the Echo Stone, cradle, and the wooden disc with the burnt sigil that allowed Gordon some freedom of movement. One of the few nice things China ever did, I reflected.

"Well, which door first then?" Skulduggery asked.

"Kitchen door!" Uncle Gordon and I both responded at once.

Skulduggery tilted his head. "There isn't a door in the kitchen- Oh, the other kitchen, right."

So we made our way there, Uncle Gordon and I speculating on what could be behind it. He was fairly sure there were hidden treasures. Skulduggery snorted in response. "You'll find old kitchen supplies if anything, you both watch."

We reached the door, Skulduggery kneeling down, and motioning me to join him. I put Uncle Gordon's Echo Stone and disc where he could see, and joined Skulduggery.

"Right, then. The inside of any cylinder lock, and that's what we are looking at here, is comprised of pairs of small pins that must all be engaged in a certain way for the lock to open. That's why every key won't work in every lock. A set of pins is missed or pushed too far upwards, and the lock does it's job be refusing to open. With picks, you must manipulate those pins, and open the lock, all of course, without being able to see into the lock to check your progress. It's done by feel, mostly. You'll be using your tension wrench, that's this flat-headed tool, and your pick."

I nodded, showing I was listening, and for once I truly was, though being this close to him and gazing into his face as his velvety voice played with my ears was distracting. Skulduggery continued. "Your tension wrench is going to help offset the plug the sets of pins are keeping in place, plus it helps make a work surface for the pick to maneuver from. My word, you're actually paying attention, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Right. Well the top pin of each set must be pushed exactly into the housing. A good locksmith will hear the click as it falls into place. The lower pins will come to rest inside the plug, the shaft where you would insert your key. Manipulate each set correctly and the door opens." I nodded again and he continued. "That's about it, really. You could do what is called raking with a broader pick. In theory it opens the lock faster by being pushed in and pulled back out rapidly, but I've found you still have to figure out which pins it did move, so I do what seems to be the harder method."

"But it has a lot more accuracy, so it is the smarter method, right?"

"Very good, Valkyrie. You were paying attention. Now then, take these. Insert the tension wrench, yes, like that exactly, keep applying pressure, good. Now your pick, the pointed end up, good. Can you feel the pins?"

"Yes."

"Good. Try using the tip of the pick to move the first pin set, can you feel it?"

"I think so. Yes, I've got it. Do I just push up?"

"Yes, but gently and slowly. Good, you'll hear a click when you hit the exact position." We heard a noise, but Skulduggery shook his head. "Not exactly, but a good start. Try pushing more slowly and see if you can feel-" There was a distinct click, and he smiled at me. "Good! Now you only have to repeat the process until every set is moved into position."

It took me almost an hour, but Skulduggery was ever the patient teacher, pointing out when I could go slower or be more gentle. When the plug suddenly rotated I almost dropped his tools in surprise. "Good job, Valkyrie, I'm proud of you! Well then, even though it was your pick, the big mean man with the gun gets to go in first, agreed?"

I nodded, happy to let him lead. "Though I'll most likely be defending you from dust mops or old tins of food." He commented dryly. He still drew his gun and clicked the fingers of his other hand, summoning a fire ball, then nodded for me to open the door. "Well, I'll be." I heard him say in amusement. He holstered his gun, and motioned me forward. He found a light switch and I could see before me a small library filled with books that all looked to be rarities.

Uncle Gordon made a sound of appreciation and I made sure to bring him inside with us. The books all proved to be magical and on subjects so rare or old I knew not even China or Uncle Gordon had ever seen copies. Most were hand-bound and written in flowing script. There were even tightly rolled scrolls stacked on one small shelf. Skulduggery shook his head in appreciation. "We could spends weeks we currently don't have in here, lost among the wonders. But you and I have a case to solve, or at least a bad guy to capture and it is late. Gordon, we'll escort you back upstairs for now. Choose some books if you have the means to read them."

My uncle nodded happily and selected several old books that seemed to be written in Gaelic. I despaired over not having paid much attention to what my reflection had learned and resolved to do better in the future by the language that was my heritage. Some day. We left the mansion and headed home both pleased and wondering what other surprises the locked doors held in store. I fell asleep in the Bentley and woke briefly in our bed, still dressed, Skulduggery's arms wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

I think I got the process of picking a lock correct, more or less. Keep in mind it is a skill that takes locksmiths years to learn. Valkyrie is lucky to have such a good teacher.