It's finally time to get started with what I hope will be an excellent success. Oh, and confessionals will be in bold.
Total. Drama. Everything!
00000000000000000000000000000000000
"Hello viewing world!" exclaimed a late 20's-early 30's man that most people know and sort-of love, "I'm Chris McLean, ready to launch another season of Total Drama. The rules for this season are pretty much the same, but our contestants are different. I gathered 24 characters from nearly all types of fiction. And oh, will we push them to their breaking point? So sit back and enjoy. This is Total. Drama. EVERYTHING!"
*theme song* (This is how the song goes, with the actions during the lyrics above them)
Hey Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine!
Chris is shown with a megaphone, then it zooms over a cliff before cutting to Stan Pines fishing out a boot.
You guys are on my mind.
The boot is thrown off the line and lands on Ash Ketchum's head. He rubs his head while Pikachu zaps it and Dante, who's right next to him, laughs.
You asked me what I wanted to be,and now I think the answer's plain to see.
Dante stops laughing when Double D is shown with a disapproving look. Then Fred accidentally knocks Double D over and Fred's shown rubbing his head apologetically, then tries to back away and bumps into Julie.
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Julie and Fred both wave their hands in apology, and their attention gets caught on Princess Bubblegum running from a candy-loving bear while Nom Nom grins at it and rubs his hands mischievous.
I wanna live close to the sun.
Rarity is inside a cabin choosing which outfit to wear while Mandy watches, her eyes rolling.
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won.
Mandy is accidentally sucked out of the cabin by Mega Man's black hole. She punches him so hard he flies into Snake, who's talking with Sam. Both are startled.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way. I'll get there one day.
It cuts to Goku and Superman having that rival stare-down. Then Connie trips and falls on top of Goku, who accidentally uses a Solar Flare, which blinds Shrek, Zelda, and Yusei. All three stumble before Shrek lands on Yusei, and Coco laughs.
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Coco turns and sees Deadpool, who then grabs her and takes a few selfies while Coco looks a little uncomfortable. Deadpool then waves at the camera and Coco walks away.
Na na na na na naa na na na na naa na na na na naaaa!
Toph and Maya are making a polite conversation before Deadpool cuts in again and both girls run away.
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
Lammy is waving at both Toph and Maya as they pass by, and then starts shredding on her guitar.
(Whistles)
Campfire, with Chris and Chef Hatchet (the latter holding a tray of marshmallows) smiling before Deadpool cuts in yet again, agitating Chris. The title is shown and the theme song ends.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Chris stood at the docks of the island (they got a new island for the season). "And welcome back," he said, "Now let's go meet our victims-uh I mean competitors!"
With that, the first boat arrived and out comes a man with silver hair and wearing a red cloak/jacket. On his back was a scabbard with what was obviously a menacing sword.
"Dante," exclaimed Chris, "welcome to the show."
Dante started looking left and right at these new surroundings. "This place is a dump," he said, "I don't know why I bothered."
"Just go stand over there," said Chris, trying to hide his clear agitation. Dante does so, rolling his eyes in the process.
Next boat contained someone quite odd looking. A white-gray unicorn with a purple tail and mane, blue eyes, and three diamond shapes on her hindquarters came out of the boat.
"Hellllooooooo!" she cried out, which made Chris cringe. "Rarity, don't ever do that again," he said.
"Ugh, fine." Rarity huffed, and she went to stand next to Dante.
Up next to arrive was what looked like a normal thirteen-year-old boy, with the exception that he was clad in some sort of a blue suit and helmet.
"I'm Mega Man," he said, "Good to be here."
"Hello to you too," Chris said, and Mega Man went to stand behind Rarity.
The next boat to arrive carried an old man wearing a black suit and a fez hat. He had the expression of both a criminal and a loving family member.
"I'm Stan Pines," he said to the others, "If any of you want to, you can visit my Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls, Oregon."
"I beg your pardon," said another voice from the boat, "but I thought you weren't allowed to advertise that tourist trap of yours."
That voice came from a young woman with long blonde/brown hair and wearing a purple/white dress with a matching headdress. On her left hand was a weird symbol that looked like it had three dark triangles inside it.
"Come on, Zelda," Stan exclaimed, "Don't I have at least a chance to pitch the idea?"
"Actually, no." Chris told Stan, who then (while grumbling something about no appreciation) went over to the other side of the dock with Zelda.
The next boat arrived at that moment, and out came a teenage/college girl with red hair. She was wearing a green suit which seemed super high tech.
Chris couldn't help but stare. "Oh, we're still rolling," he said, "Welcome to the show, Samantha."
"You can just call me Sam," she pointed out, "Everyone does." And she went to where the other were standing. "Hello," Sam whispered to Dante, who said hi right back.
The next to arrive didn't need a boat. He was seen flying towards everyone. This new competitor was wearing a blue and red suit, and on his chest was a giant yellow "S".
"Oh gosh," Mega Man muttered to himself, "Superman's here. We're all toast."
Superman chuckled. "I heard that," he said, "And no need to worry. I'll only use my powers to help out, not to win."
"Big words from a guy wearing his underwear inside out," Dante whispered to Rarity, and both giggled, causing Superman to roll his eyes.
"Here comes contestant Number 8!" Chris exclaimed. Sure enough, the next boat docked at that moment. Out came the MOST ADORABLE LITTLE KOALA BEAR EVER! He had gray fur, huge eyes, and an expression of one who thought highly of himself. BUT OH, WAS HE CUTE?!
Rarity then screamed in delight. "Eeeeh! Aren't you just the most adorable little fellow in the world?!" She ran right over to him and started hugging him tightly. "I just want to eat you right up!"
The poor koala was barely able to get her off. "Get off of me!" He straightened out his messed-up fur and composed himself. "The name's Nom Nom. I'm not one for making friends, so just get a look at this season's winner." So he walked to the other side of the dock with his nose in the air.
"Next up," Chris said, "we have Julie!" The next boat came with who everyone figured was Julie. She was wearing a pink jacket and black shirt with a white skirt.
"It's good to be here," she said to the group, "I hope we can have a lot of fun."
Nom Nom rolled his eyes. He wasn't here for fun. He was here for the money.
Another boat arrived, but a weird thing about it was it had no passenger. Everyone stared at it for a moment.
"That's odd," Chris muttered, "I swore there was-"
At that moment, someone materialized behind him. He had brown hair (I'm using the younger version by the way), matching short beard, and wearing a dark blue suit. Chris screamed. "Aaaahhhh!"
The man gave a small laugh. "Knowing your history of abusing your competitors," he said, "I had to do that."
Chris composed himself and said, "This is David, more commonly referred to as Solid Snake, or just Snake." This new spy walked over to where Sam was.
"Hi there," he said to her. Sam couldn't help but smile.
A moment later, another boat arrived at the dock. Its competitor this time was a young man in his mid-to-late teens, wearing a black shirt, blue/orange jacket and pants, and gray/orange boots. Not to mention the wild black/yellow hair and piercing electric blue eyes. The most puzzling thing about his appearance was a yellow marking on the left side of his face.
"Everyone," Chris stated, "this is Yusei."
The new guy waved his hand. "It's good to be here," he said.
"I should let you know dude," Chris mentioned to him, "that these guys don't play that card game you love so much."
"Dang it!" Yusei exclaimed as he went to join the others.
The competitor to arrive looked as though a simple breeze would blow him away. He was a skinny kid wearing a red t-shirt, black shorts and tennis shoes, and a weird looking hat.
"Uh why are you wearing a sock on your head?" asked Stan.
The kid looked shocked at the question. "First of all, it's not a sock. Second, it's best to keep to your business, thank you very much. Thirdly, my name's Edd. Two D's, so I'm called Double D."
Stan shrugged at Zelda. "What did I say?" he whispered to her.
Within moments, another boat docked. This time, the contestant was a little girl with short blonde hair and wearing a pink dress with a flower on it and black shoes. She would've been adorable if not for her malevolent face. One look into her eyes told everyone (even Superman) that they did not want to get on her bad side.
And she certainly didn't have a GOOD side.
"This is Mandy," Chris introduced, "she-"
But before he could finish, he received a hard shove that knocked him over. "Put a sock in it or else!" Mandy growled, "Oh wait, there's a sock on that guy's head that will do the trick." She was gesturing to Double D's hat.
When she got to the other side of the dock, she stood next to Julie, whom she glared at as she glared at everyone else. Double D was too scared to correct her that his hat wasn't a sock.
When the next boat arrived, everyone hoped there wasn't someone like Mandy on it. They weren't disappointed. He was also blond, but muscular, and with a kind expression (and an orange ascott).
"I'm Fred," he said while smiling, "and I'm here to compete and maybe set an awesome trap." He went to stand next to Yusei. Both said hello and hi-fived.
"Our next contestant," Chris introduced as the next boat showed up, "is Connie Maheswaren!"
Connie stepped out of the boat. She had long dark hair, glasses, and normal clothing. She did, however, have a sword strapped to her belt. "Hi there. I hope we can all get along and stuff."
"What's with all this friend stuff?" Nom Nom asked insolently, which caused everyone to stare at him. "Unlike you all, I don't need friends. I'm a star on the internet, and I only need me."
At that moment, the next boat arrived. It was a girl of about 12 years old, and wearing a short-sleeved kimono. What was unnerving about her was that her eyes looked so blank, they were almost white.
She introduced herself. "My name's Toph. And if you're wondering about the eyes, I happen to have been born blind."
"Are you sure you should be competing considering you can't see?" Chris asked.
That question got a huge rock out of nowhere in Chris' gut. "I still know where everything and everyone is," Toph explained, "and it works wonders for my powers, so don't worry about me."
"Ooh, do that again!" came a voice from another newcomer. This one appeared to be a lamb, wearing a red t-shirt and jeans. On her back was an electric guitar case. "How were you able to do that?"
Toph explained, "It's an ability I have. I can control all manners of earth."
"So cool," said the lamb, "I'm Lammy, by the way." She and Toph went to join the others on the far side of the dock.
The next arrival was…..well…...he was scary looking. He was fat and green, with trumpet-shaped ears, and wearing a white shirt and vest. He was a scary-looking dude. Everyone screamed except Superman and Mandy (both for obvious reasons).
"Can ya all calm down?" the ogre asked. Then Chris grabbed a horn and squeezed it, making a loud noise and silencing everyone.
"Shrek's not going to eat any of you," he explained, "he's a good ogre, and he's happily married,"
Everyone was still freaking out. "What difference does tha-?!" Connie tried to say.
"To a princess," Chris pointed out.
That caused everyone to go "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
"I'm just here to win some cash," Shrek stated, "and 'ave some fun while I'm at it."
Rarity couldn't help but ask, "A good ogre, huh? Is there anything about you that could still scare us though?"
Shrek decided to give her his best answer: "Rawoooooooaaaaaarrrrrr!" Rarity's hair and fur shook.
"...wow…" She stood mostly in silence and awe.
The next arrival, like Superman, also didn't need a boat, as he could also fly. He wore an orange gi over blue underclothes and had crazy black hair.
"Hi there, I'm Son Goku," he introduced himself to everyone, "and I'm here to have the most fun ever and-ooh how did you get that mark on your face?" He was, of course referring to Yusei's marking.
"Uh…" Yusei was clearly surprised by Goku's eagerness and curiousity.
Superman walked over to Goku. "Long time no see, Goku." Goku gave him a determined stare in return.
"Wait you guys know each other?" asked Mega Man. Goku replied with, "Don't ask."
Just then, Goku smelled something. "Is that….candy?!"
Sure enough, the scent came from the next arrival. Everything about her was pink and candy. The dress, the hair, everything.
"Hello good people," she said, "I'm here to com-Aaaahhhh!"
Goku, his appetite kicking in again, had started to chase Princess Bubblegum around, wanting to eat her. That is, until he crashed into a tree.
"Hate to burst your bubble...gum," said Chris, laughing at his own joke, "but Princess Bubblegum is not allowed to be eaten. We don't want death threats from the Candy Kingdom."
P.B. sighed in relief, while Goku said "Dang it."
The next arrival certainly wasn't made out of candy. In fact, she seemed normal. She had black hair and was wearing a very pretty kimono.
"I'm Maya Fey," she introduced herself, "it's good to be here. I hope we can all get along. This is so cool!"
The next to arrive seemed as though he wanted to start already. He had black hair, and was wearing blue jeans (cut to the chase, he's wearing his original outfit from the first season). On his shoulder was a strange yellow rat-like creature.
"I'm Ash Ketchum from Pallet Town," he called before the boat even docked, "and Pikachu and I are going to rule this season!" "Pika!"
However, when their boat reached the dock, both Ash and Pikachu were attacked by a certain unicorn.
"He's even cuter than Nom Nom is!" Rarity squealed, which caused Nom Nom to whisper that he took that offensively. But he wouldn't have to dwell on it forever. Struggling to escape Rarity's grasp, Pikachu used his powers to escape and not only shocked Rarity, but everyone else on the dock.
ZZZZZZAAAAPPPPP!
When it was over, everyone looked like a wreck. The only one freaking out, though, was Rarity.
"MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS RUINED!" Sure enough, her mane was a mess now.
"Oh no, you hair is ruined," Mandy said sarcastically, "whatever shall you do? Whatever."
Chris straightened himself out and got back on task. "Only two contestants left. Here's one right now."
This competitor was one of the most puzzling yet. It was some sort of a plane/bird/ostrich/palm tree crossover creature.
"Cococococo," said the creature, which confused pretty much everyone.
"Huh?" Lammy said.
Chris explained, "Don't worry. When you get used to Coco's language, it's easy to understand her. But all she says is 'Coco'."
Dante was counting on his fingers. "So who could possibly a worse competitor than a fashion-obsessed unicorn, an old geezer, a devil child (Mandy glared at him), and a language-challenged bird?"
That's when he saw the final boat, and he got his answer, "It can't be…."
Chris was ready to introduce his final contestant. "Everyone, this is-"
"DEADPOOL!" came a voice from the boat Dante just saw, and everyone saw who made that noise.
It was a man covered head-to-toe in red and black spandex. His mask covered his whole face, and he had a fair amount of weaponry; two twin kitanas, a couple of guns and bullets, and grenades.
He then teleported off the boat and onto the dock. "Get a load of the awesomeness," he said, "and the predetermined winner of this fanfic!"
"Fanfic?" Ash mouthed at Connie, who shrugged.
Chris was more agitated than ever. "Deadpool,I thought we agreed you wouldn't break the fourth wall while you're here."
Deadpool sighed, "Fine, I'll stop." But as he walked towards the others, he quietly snickered. "Not."
Then his fanboy urges overcame him. "Eeeh! You all are amazing! Can I have your autographs?!"
Dante, having overcome his shock at seeing Deadpool, walked over to him and smirked. "Been a long time since Marvel vs. Capcom 3, hasn't it?"
Deadpool smiled right back. "Likewise."
Chris then decided to get the ball rolling. "Alright, now that everyone's arrived, let's get to the campfire area so we can-".
At that moment, the bridge collapsed. Only Goku and Superman were able to avoid crashing into the water. Everyone else was less fortunate. And Rarity freaked out again.
"MY HAIR IS ALL WET! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"
000000000000000000000000000000000000
Later, after everyone had dried off, everyone gathered at the campfire pit to go over the rules of the show. Some were already friends. Mega Man was chatting with Julie, while Toph was talking with Maya. After a few minutes, Chris came out and told everyone to listen.
"For those of you who aren't familiar with the rules, it's simple. Don't get kicked off. Every marshmallow you get means you're safe. Whoever doesn't get one during the elimination ceremony is out. Any questions?"
Everyone raised their hands (or wing in one case).
"No questions? Good. Nom Nom and Shrek are your team captains."
Nom Nom was pleased. "Wise choice." Shrek was also happy. "I'll do wha' I can."
"Ok then," said Chris, "time to pick."
"Nom Nom?"
"I'll pick Goku."
"Shrek?"
"I'll go wit' Superman." (Snake whispers "Figures".)
"Nom Nom?"
"I choose Mega Man."
"Shrek?"
"I'll pick Mandy."
"Nom Nom?"
"Toph."
"Shrek?"
"Zelda."
"Nom Nom?"
"Deadpool, get over here." (Deadpool struts as he walks to Nom Nom's team.)
"Shrek?"
"I'll 'ave Dante."
"Nom Nom?"
"Maya."
"Shrek?"
"I want Yusei."
"Nom Nom?"
"Fashion unicorn, you're on my team." "Uh, it's Rarity." "Whatever."
"Shrek?"
"Ash."
"Nom Nom?'
"Umm…"
That's when Chris got tired. "This is taking too long. The rest will be handed to you randomly.
One minute later, the rest of the competitors had a team. Nom Nom, aside from those he picked, was given Lammy, Snake, Double D, P.B, and Sam. Shrek was given Coco, Fred, Stan, Connie, and Julie.
"Nom Nom, I hereby name your team, The Cute Koalas," Chris announced, and the new team's emblem had Nom Nom's face on it.
"Shrek, your team will be known as The Green Ogres," Chris proclaimed, and their emblem had Shrek's face on it.
Dante couldn't help but make fun of the names. "Wow, very creative," he said to Chris sarcastically.
Which caused Chef Hatchet to show up with a meat cleaver in his hand. "We chose captains before you maggots even showed up. And I was the one that came up with those names. You callin' my names stupid?!" Dante just rolled his eyes.
Chris got right back to the point, "Koala cabin's on the left side of camp, Ogre cabin's on the right. Boys get one side, girls get the other. Now, go get settled. Luckily, you don't have your first challenge until tomorrow, giving you time to get to know each other."
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Chris is inside a familiar-looking outhouse. "This is your confessional booth, to be used at your leisure. Want to say something private, do it here. We won't tell the others. Most of the time." He started snickering.
0000000000000000000000000000000000000
"There's no one here that knows how to throw down?" Yusei asked to the camera,"Now what am I supposed to do?
"Wait, just because I can't duel these guys doesn't mean I can't wow people with a Sonic Chick once in awhile. And everyone here seems like they're pretty cool.
"This is going to be awesome. I know it."
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000
"Hi everyone from the Marvel universe," Deadpool called, waving at the camera, "Hello Wolverine, Hello Rogue (he proceeds to say hello to every Marvel character one at a time while being fastforward) and hello Quicksilver!"
"That was fun. I'm hungry."
00000000000000000000000000000000000000
Nom Nom is looking bored, "This is my competition? Please! A blind girl, an overpowered superhero, and a candy princess are nothing. They wouldn't last a day on the internet.
"But some of these guys could prove invaluable. First things first, form an alliance."
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
*Koala Girls Side*
The girls have chosen their bunk beds: Rarity, Lammy, and Sam were top bunks; Maya, P.B. and Toph were bottom bunks.
"So what do you think of the rest of the competitors?" Lammy asked.
Sam was thinking about the question. "I think Snake's a pretty cool guy. He's a spy like me."
"Meh, seems like a nutcase to me," said Toph, "I like your outfit by the way. Cool green jumpsuit."
"It's not a jumpsuit, it's a spysuit," Sam pointed out, "there's a difference."
P.B. was a little jumpy. "As long as I'm kept away from Goku, I'm fine."
"I see he freaked you out that much," Rarity said to her, "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to make this bed more suitable to my liking."
A split second later, Rarity's bunk was covered in purple silk blankets and a pink silk pillow.
000000000000000000000000000000000000
Meanwhile, at the Ogre Boys,
Ash was making a comfortable bed for Pikachu."Here you are, buddy. That should do."
Pikachu nodded in agreement. "Pika."
"Do you bring that rat thing everywhere you go?" Dante asked Ash, clearly shocked (no pun intended) at how a human could have such an attachment to an animal.
"He's not a rat, he's a Pokémon," Ash corrected, "There's a difference." Dante rolled his eyes again.
"Chill out," Fred said to Dante, "what pets do you have that can do something like zap everyone?"
No one could argue with that. "He's got a point," said Superman.
"Hey, who want to visit my Mystery Shack after the show?"asked Stan, trying to do his pitch again.
Somehow, everyone in the whole camp was able to hear that, because a second later, every single contestant (plus Chris and Chef) yelled out, "NO!"
000000000000000000000000000000000000
Hours later, everyone was fast asleep (except the boys, who were annoyed by Deadpool and Shrek's snores). Chris was back on the dock.
"And there you have it," he announced to the camera, "24 players! A million dollars! One awesome show! Tune in next time for our first challenge and elimination right here. On Total. Drama. Everything!"
"Shut up!" came Snake's from the Koalas cabin, "We're trying to sleep!"
Chris gulped. "Was that towards me or Deadpool? Gotta run!"
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000
And...done!
Did you catch my Death Battle reference? If you did, tell me in review or PM.
Also, I will be taking challenge ideas. Either original show throwbacks or brand new tortures. Review or PM about it!
Review!
See you next out!