The peaceful sleep I had blessedly drifted into didn't linger, and rest didn't find me that night. Every creak of the makeshift home, every twitch of the Paladin next to me roused me instantly, keeping any rest from finding me. Several hours into the night I finally gave up all together and tried, as softly as I could manage, to push myself from the home-made double bed.

"Can't sleep?" asked Danse in the dark, his form hidden from me since we blew out the candles hours before.

"It's rare when I can," I replied honestly, rubbing my face after giving up on trying to look him in the eye. "You can rest though, I wont leave without you."

"I find it hard to relax away from the brotherhood," he said, now pushing himself into a sitting position.

I nodded, even knowing he couldn't see me. I was tired from a day of hard fighting, but the fear I had of the nightmares that plagued me kept me from rest once again. I didn't want to see my old life, and I didn't want to see those I loved ripped from me once more.

With a large stretch I stood from the bed and began lighting the first candle in reach. With the small flickering I glanced over at my companion, sitting up with his legs over the side of the bed, once again shirtless. A flash of Nate rousing me from my sleep for the soul purpose of having sex so he could relax enough to rest ran threw my mind. Shirtless, and with soft kisses, he would start at my shoulder, work his way up to my neck, and when I was fully awake, begin descending lower. Warmth spread threw my body at the thought and I was forced to turn my head so Danse couldn't see the flush coloring of my cheeks.

My urge for physical pleasure only grew worse everyday since I stepped out of the vault. Preston almost got jumped by me once, my will power just managing to reign me in before I turned our friendship into something very different. My body craved the touch of another, thanks in part to just how sexual me and Nate had been, and the lack of human contact I had suffered being frozen. Time may not have meant anything to my mind, but my body seemed to know it had been ages, almost literally, since I was touched.

With a vicious shake of my head, I pulled my pistol harness from the dresser and secured it around myself. "I'm going outside for some air," was all the warning Danse got before I was out the door. I thought I heard him call out to me, but wasn't much interested in knowing what he had to say. Male body, close proximity, horny self spelled trouble. Escape before I made a mistake I couldn't take back was my only option.

The early, early morning air was crisp, and the only lights in the sky where the dotted stars, and some green streaks and flashes to the south, telling you just how close you where to death. The moon was no wear to be found that night, but it would likely rise just before dawn.

At night, I could almost forget that this wasn't my world. The stars still twinkled, the moon still arched it way across the sky, and the air still held that chill, telling you dawn had yet to arrive. Sunrise would come soon though, and just like that, I would know my world is gone. The lifeless trees, the brown grass like stuff the whipped in the breeze, it would all be there, screaming at me, saying I didn't belong.

The crunch of the ground had me flipped around with my gun drawn to eye level almost instantly. Danse didn't miss a beat though and just continued forward, almost arrogantly sure I wasn't going to shoot him, even with him lined up for a kill. He wasn't wearing his power armor, leaving his human body all to exposed and vulnerable.

With a snort, just glad he was now wearing a shirt, I pulled back my gun and holstered it once more, "Its not nice to sneak up on a girl."

"Had you not run from me like I was a monster there would have been no need," was his clipped reply.

I rolled my eyes, not particularly in the mood to explain myself, before once again turning my gaze south. The green streaks of lightning in the distance had my full attention. They where beautiful, but it was funny just how often something beautiful would kill you.

I felt, more then saw, the Paladin come a stop at my side, also watching the distant southern horizon. "When will we depart?" asked the Paladin, seeming to have picked this question over another by the tone of his voice.

"The instant dawn breaks," I replied, not turning to look at him, "It's to risky to move threw the glow in the dark, knowing as little as we do, even at the risk of getting seen at sunrise by something nasty. I will not die in a radiation field, not when I'm so close."

I could feel Danse looking at me, but I didn't return the glance. It remained that way for several long moments. Me staring at the horizon and the Paladin staring at me. I didn't know if the man, or the terrain to come unnerved me more. When I couldn't take it anymore, I turned my head to look at the soldier, a chastising remark on the tip of my tongue, when I felt his hand, brush aside a few strands of my hair that had pulled free from the ponytail I always kept it in. The sudden physical contact shocked me into silence, leaving me standing there with my mouth slightly open his eyes focused on my face, fingertips lightly brushing my cheek.

Reality seemed to kick back in then as the Palidin's eyes met my own, and his hand dropped slowly back to his side. "I… apologize," he said after a brief silence, his eyes darting to the ground for a moment. Danse offered no more explanation as he turned on his heel and headed back inside the dwelling.

I stood there, with my mouth hanging wide open, one palm pressed to the check that man had been touching, at an utter loss for words. I had no idea what he could have been thinking, or even what I should be thinking. Such a gentile brush of fingers from a man so hardened by combat was… very unexpected…

We spent the rest of the morning in utter silence, grabbing our gear, eating our breakfast, and without one word, heading out into the glow. I had switched from my normal armor to the hazmat suite, knowing it wouldn't keep me completely rad free, but would go a long way in keeping me alive, and it wasn't long until the trek south was filled with the clicking of my Geiger counter.

The whole day we spent in utter silence. I wanted to ask him what he was doing that morning, but couldn't bring myself to utter a word, and with that bucket on the man's head since the incident I had not even the faintest idea what he was thinking.

By the third pack of rad scorpions killed, the silence was eating at me, and I could no longer take it. I was a character that required noise, and studied to make a living off of talk, so without an inch of thought behind my words I just blurted out the question licking at my brain the whole day, "What the hell was that?"

"What?" inquired the Paladin, either playing dumb, or honestly confused given the amount of time that had passed between now and the matter I was asking about.

"This morning?" I continued, now to far gone to pull back now. I needed to know just what the hell he had been doing… touching me like that.

The Paladin, with that damned bucket on his head, turned to regard me, his face, and thoughts, hidden from view. He just stood there for several long seconds, me only knowing he was looking at me because the eyes holes of his bucket where pointed right at me.

"Well?" I pretty much yelled, the near fishbowl on my head probably hiding my thoughts from him as his helmet hid his form me.

"You looked soft."

Whatever answer I was expecting, that wasn't it. My mouth was hanging open, not that Danse could see it, "What?"

"You looked… soft… smooth… Most women are covered in scars, their skin coarse from hard living… You looked… flawless..."

We both just stood their motionless and in silence for a few extra moments. I had no idea what to think, and no idea what he himself was thinking. I thought my skin looked terrible and rough, the last year of my life adding far more years to the look of my skin.

"I apologize for overstepping my bounds," called the Paladin, drawing my attention back to the here and now, and not the lingering warmth from his fingers I could suddenly feel again. "I just wanted to know if you felt as soft as you looked."

I really didn't know if that was a compliment or not, and before I could decide if I wanted to ask, Danse had turned away and was once again moving toward our objective. After a quick head shake, trying to banish the desire to ask more from the man from my head, I sprinted after him, taking the lead once more as I had the maps. We still had a long way to go threw this irradiated nightmare, and no more time to spend on such pointless things.

Besides, I decided he meant it in and oddity way. Like I was some weird creature that he just had to examine. Kinda the way I was when I saw my first radroach. Sometimes you just needed to poke the thing to see if it really was as it appeared. Yeah… just some freak of nature. That's what I was.

We had elapsed into utter silence again, careful to scan the horizon and keep mental track of where we where. A matter of hours latter saw the day starting to dim. Night seemed to fall much faster in this irradiated hell then it did everywhere else. With a quick scan of the maps I had entered into my pip boy, I guided the Paladin to a small series of tunnels, deciding they would likely be our best bet for protection threw the night. The deeper we climbed into the tunnels, the less clicking my Geiger counter made, until it was all but silent.

I had just about chalked this place up to a haven when I was suddenly yanked back into the chest of the paladin, his helmeted head as close to my own in its encasing as possible. "Listen," he whispered, the air filters in his suite diluting the sound slightly.

Sure enough, there it was. The sound of heavy footfalls, and almost snarling sounding breathing. I had walked the pair of us right into a deathclaw den.

"Shit," I murmured under my breath. Fighting a deathclaw was a gamble, fighting one in close quarters was suicide.

Almost as if reading my mind, the Paladin began to take small, soft steps backwards, pulling me with him, but it was too late. We had descended too far into the tunnels to make it out before the beast noticed us, and we both knew it. It was only a yard or two back the way we came by the time we heard the howl of the beast, and its four legged sprint for us.

Before I had any ideas about what to do, I felt my body lifted and then tossed back from where we came. "Run!" yelled Danse, leveling his rifle. Due to the hulking frame of the paladin I couldn't see the deathclaw, but by the way he began shooting I knew it had come into the man's view.

Panic began tugging at me then. I was slowly pushing to knees, just staring wide eyed at the Paladin's back when the deathclaw full on tackled him, the two of them falling to the cave floor just in front of me. Every instinct in me told me to run but for the life of me I could not make myself move. I couldn't even form a coherent thought.

A groan of pain ripped from Danse as the beast manged to yank a piece of his chest armor free, trying to dig in to the soft flesh beneath. It hit me then. If I didn't do something the Paladin would die. And after watching my husband die before my eyes, unable to do anything but pound on the glass, I've never been able to just stand there again.

Still without a single thought in my head, I pushed up from my knees, yanked free my shot gun, and charged the beast. I didn't weigh much, but my slamming into the beast managed to just lodge it free of Danse. I had just enough time to pull the trigger, before I turned and ran, the monster hot on my heels.

I could hear the Paladin yelling after me, but I didn't have time to care what he was even saying.

At speeds I didn't know I was capable off, I ran back threw the tunnels and broke onto the surface, just jumping to the left in time to dodge one massive swipe of claws. I had no armor and I knew even one hit would end my trip threw the glow. The beast let out a howl I could only guess to mean it was angry, as I continued to run, trying to get to slightly higher ground. It didn't take long for the deathclaw to follow.

I pulled my leg up a large boulder just in time to miss yet another swipe of massive claws. Turning around I fired as many shots as I could manage at the beast. I knew their belly was their weak spot, but from above I had no real way to hit it, so its head was my target.

A strained noise I had never heard before ripped from the beast as its head dropped to the side for a moment. When it lifted its head once more I saw the damage I had done, one eye gone and only a bloody socket remaining.

This seemed to only anger the beast as it began to climb, faster then I had, using it's claws to dig into the rock to pull itself up quicker. Behind me was a sharp drop a little to far to be safe to jump. I was running out of room and I knew it. I was also stuck reloading, as it always seemed to need to happen at the worse possible moment. My hands where shaking terribly, making it nearly impossible for me to fit the shells into the instrument.

Just as the deathclaws head came into biting range metal hands reached around its head, grabbing hold. I could hear both the strain of man and machine and with a loud yell of effort the head of the beast was yanked sharply, and quickly to the right, followed by a loud snap.

With a thud the beast and the Paladin fell to the ground, beast on top. I was out of breath, near hyperventilating, and could do nothing but stay in my crouched position, hands still shacking, clutching my shells as I stared down at the tangle of metal and monster.

When the bests body jerked, I snapped my shotgun back together, locking in the few shells I had managed to load raising it to my eye level. Danse was sitting up slowly, pushing the beast to his side, just enough that he could climb out from under it. It took my rattled brain a few seconds longer then I would like to admit to realize the dead deathclaw had only jerked because it was being moved by the paladin.

I just stared down at Danse as he slowly made his way back to his feet, his power armor making it a bit more of a chore then it normally would be. The moment he was back to his feet, those almost glowing eyes of the helmet locked on me, "What the hell where you thinking?" he nearly yelled, anger very audible in his voice.

Sill recovering from the large dose of adrenaline, I stared at him wide eyed, "What?"

In one step and reach motion, the Palladin had a grip on my leg and yanked me down from the rock I had climbed up on, pulling me to his own form, "What is wrong with you? Do you have a death wish?"

Helmet to helmet with the far larger figure, my mind began to start up again, "What the hell are you so mad about? I saved your life!"

"No you didn't," was his clipped reply as he seemed to finish doing, whatever it was he was doing while holding me, and set me down in front of him, "You needlessly risked your life when I ordered you to run!"

Anger slowly seeped into my being, "Ordered me?" I repeated. "I'm not one of your subordinates! I don't take orders from you! And I saved your life! That deathclaw was ripping right into your chest! Had I left like you wanted, you'd be dead, and me not long after, so you can just shut the hell up!"

I could hear the man growl in agitation. Ducking around his hulking frame, I pulled back up my pip boy, scanning the map once more. The sun had almost fully set and we definitely needed to find somewhere different to bunker down. As I scanned the horizon, trying to mentally match the map to the terrain, I had to do a quick double take to decide what I was looking at. "Is that..." I began, trailing off as I began walking forward, not bothering to check if the stubborn Paladin was following.

Sure enough I was right, a crashed vertibird was sticking out of a dune, almost fully buried. When I drew close enough, a small beep from my pip boy told me I had picked up a signal. Tuning in, it turned out to be an old distress signal. Pre-war or post, I couldn't be sure, but the male voice talked about being inside a cave not to far from here, and judging by the signal I knew he wasn't talking about the deathclaw tunnels.

Without a word, I headed toward the signal, allowing it to guide me. Soon I led Danse to the opening of a small cave, buried slightly under the waves of sand. The paladin pushed his way in front of me then, moving to check the caves for unwanted wild life, while I moved closer to the corpse broadcasting the message. It was not but torn tattered cloth that had once been clothes and bones, indicating the man had been dead for a very long time. Rescue had never come.

As I keeled over the body to turn of the beacon the Paladin returned to my position, checking the Geiger counter on his suite, before pulling off his helmet. While this cave wasn't rad free, it was a far lower concentration, and safe enough to take off your helmet so one could sleep, somewhat well. A dose of radaway would be needed in the morning, but sleeping in a fish bowl was near impossible.

Pulling off my own helmet, I glanced in Danse's direction, scanning the damage to his chest piece. It would need some work, but still seemed to be holding together, and his skin wasn't visible, meaning he wasn't getting to bad a leak. Grabbing my pack, I dug around for a few seconds before tossing the tall figure some radaway, still a little to angry to talk to him, before taking one and injecting myself. The hazmat suite was definitely helping, but it didn't keep 100% of the rads at bay.

Out of almost no where, the Paladin pulled me closer to him, using his legs to pin me down. "What the fuck?" I squealed, trying to warm away.

With his left hand the man held me still, "Shut up," he growled, reaching down with his other hand to roam over the side of my abdomen. "You tore threw it," he added, still holding me still but switching hands so his right hand covered the hole, using his left hand to drag over my bag.

I was turning redder and redder by the second, trying to push the very heavy figure off of me, futilely, kicking my legs in the process. "I can fix it myself!" I fussed, as he ignored me, dumping the contents of my bag on the ground. "Let me go!"

He continued to ignore me, pulling some duct tape from the mess, and ripping free a strip with his teeth. I knew this shouldn't be turning me on, I knew I should be furious, getting man handled the way he was doing, but the more he touched me, the more I didn't want him to stop. Using his right hand, he pinched together the material that had been ripped apart, and with the tape, he pulled the pieces together, sure that the material, designed to protect against rads was fully covering the gap. With two more strips, he secured the hole, ensuring I would be covered.

Once he was finished, my arms trying to push him away, he grabbed both my appendages, pinning them above my head. He leaned down next, as close as his armor would allow, looking me dead in the eye, "Next time I say run," he growled, voice low and rumbling, doing things to me I would rather die then admit, "you run."

I was very grateful the cave was fairly dark so he couldn't see the warmth I could feel in my cheeks. The words that slipped from my mouth next was proof that the filter I had worked hard to farm between my brain and my mouth was utterly gone, "Make me."

"Don't challenge me, Winifred," he warned in that low rumble. I almost thought I heard something familiar in the tone, something I had forgotten the sound of, but something I knew, and liked.

All at once, he was off of me, faster then he had put me in this position. I hated his missing form almost more then I hated him pinning me down in the first place. I didn't know what I wanted to say, or what should even be said, so I just growled, pushing my way off the cave floor, and began stuffing the contents of my pack, scattered everywhere, back where they belong.

My head was reeling, running a hundred different ways at once. I had no idea what really just happened, and no idea what I should even think about it. I knew Danse was stronger then me, I knew he was bigger then me, but you'd be hard pressed to find anything, including some of the insects, out in the commonwealth that weren't bigger then me. I made a living, in this new world, out of killing things bigger then myself. But I had never, since before I lost Nate, been dominated by anyone. Almost everyone I met bowed to my authority, or handed me the reigns. I was the general of the Minutemen, and people recognized. I had no idea if I should like the feeling of not being in charge or resent it.

The Paladin had fallen into a deep quiet, finding a comfortable place to sit on the opposite corner of the cave from myself. I didn't know how to take that either, considering how close he had been just a few minuets before. He was so… unpredictable. I could tell he was used to giving or following orders, and apparently being stuck with me, someone with authority outside his own organization, was throwing him for a loop. Neither of us was truly in charge of the other, and that lack of structure seemed to be eating at him.

I opened my mouth to say something, but slammed it shut not long after, realizing I had no idea what to say. Both of us where right, and both of us where wrong. I was right not to leave him to his death, but he was right about me needing to run. His armor made taking on the deathclaw much more a realistic goal then my flimsy suite.

After a long tense silence, I let out a small sigh and settled into my own corner. I didn't know what he wanted me to say, or if he even wanted me to speak, which was good cause I didn't know what to say. We passed the rest of the night in silence until both of us drifted off into some semblance of sleep.

[AN: Sorry my lovely readers for taking so long to update. I had a baby not to long ago and have received a promotion at work so finding time for me to do my own thing has been a bit of a challenge. For those of you whom have stuck with me, thank you very much. I apologize, once again, for the long delay. I will try to update regularly, but with my life in the chaos that it's in, I have no real idea when the next update will be. I hope you enjoyed, and as always, please review. They're my bread and butter.]