It's time for episode two to go underway!
Check it out.
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"Last time on Total Drama Everything," Chris announced, making his known recap, "24 characters from all over fiction have become Total Drama's newest victims-uh competitors. A few of those lucky (and not-so-lucky) contenders include, but are not limited to, a magic princess, a tourist trap proprietor, a devil child, and the craziest Marvel character I've ever seen. But out of everyone, only one will walk away with one million dollars. Today, we get the ball rolling. All with a classic thrill. Which team will win the first challenge? Who will make like Michael Jackson and beat it? Find out here! On Total. Drama. Everything!"
*theme song* (I'm not retyping it, but you know the theme song from the previous chapter.)
Everyone was asleep in their cabins (even the boys, who have finally gotten past Deadpool and Shrek's snores) and didn't appear to have a care in the world. But everyone was about to have a very rude awakening.
Literally.
"RISE AND SHINE!" came a familiar voice on a megaphone. Chris certainly had not lost his ability to ruin people's mornings. A lot of groans and screams started being heard.
"This is not how an internet celebrity is supposed to be treated," said Nom Nom, rolling his eyes.
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Nom Nom looks severely irritated. "I was only able to fall asleep over Deadpool's snores at around 2 A.M. Then this guy wakes us up at 7. 7! I need my beauty sleep!"
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Eventually, everyone was dressed out of their pajamas and in the mess hall. Of course,Chef Hatchet was the one cooking the food. And of course, the food was revolting. The only two willing to eat it were Goku and Shrek. And even then, only Shrek could fully stomach it. Everyone else was either picking at it, taking a few risky bites, or ignoring the gray goop completely.
Pikachu was trying to taste it, but it was horrible to him to. "I feel your rat thing," Snake whispered to Ash, "this stuff stinks." Ash nodded in agreement.
Meanwhile, Coco was having a chat with Lammy over stuff the others didn't get. "Cococococococo?" Coco asked Lammy. Lammy replied with, "Nope, the guitar's all I have in terms of music."
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Coco is still speaking in her language, but there are subtitles. "I am so glad no one can understand me in here. I can say what I want!"
"Where do I start? Lammy's definitely the one I most have in common with. She's definitely a friend. But that Deadpool guy is even more full of himself than Bloo ever was. That's saying something."
Then Chris comes in and whispers something in her ear. "What?! There's a translator in here? Uh oh!"
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After some time, Chris walked into the mess hall. "So how did you enjoy breakfast?"
"I wouldn't know," Mega Man pointed out, "I can't eat." That caused Dante to whisper "Lucky."
"Well get ready, because you first challenge begins in just a few hours," Chris said to everyone before leaving the mess hall.
Deadpool was excited. "First challenge! I hope it will be fun."
"Meh," Dante mused, "probably going to be the classic cliff-jumping challenge."
Sure enough, a few hours later, everyone was in their swimwear (except Deadpool because I don't want to reveal what's under that spandex yet) and at the top of a cliff.
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"Called it," said Dante.
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Yusei couldn't hide his vexation. "So you're really rehashing the cliff on us?" he asked Chris, "Don't you ever realize that someone might wind up hurt?"
Chris responded with a laugh. "Hahaha! I've done this challenge in two previous seasons, and no one's got hurt yet. So shut up, duelist boy!" he yelled. Yusei responded to that with an "Ugh!"
So Chris got the ball rolling. "As your little friend over there was so kind to point out, your first challenge is, yes, the cliff challenge. All you have to do is jump and land in that target. If you land in the target, your team gets a point. If you don't jump, you don't get a point and you'll have to wear a chicken hat for the rest of the day."
Double D's legs were shaking. "What happens if we miss the target?"
"Then you get a point," Chris explained, "and the chance to get eaten by sharks, which we put in the outside area." That caused Double D to gulp.
"Before we begin," Chris asked, "is there anyone here that doesn't know how to swim?"
Only one person raised their hand: Toph.
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"My parents gave new meaning to the word 'overprotective'," Toph explained, "especially since I can't see. So I never learned how to swim."
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Chris threw her a pink tube floatie with a seahorse head on it. "If you want to jump, use this," he said to her, "the producers said we had to give the swimming-challenged a freebee."
"Whatever," Toph muttered, getting it into position.
"One more thing," Chris explained, "you may use any means you can to slow down you descent, but you cannot fly into the water. Got that, Superman and Goku?"
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"Fine by me," said Superman.
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"Dang it!" yelled Goku.
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Finally, it was time to get things started. "Green Ogres, you're first."
Julie was looking over the edge of the cliff. "Ok," she asked her team, " who wants to go first?"
None of the ogres raised their hands. "Seeing as you asked," said Mandy to Julie, "you automatically volunteered. Now jump, you big baby!"
"Alrighty then," said Julie, "it's just a 100-story cliff into a lake full of man eating sharks." And she jumped, landing in the safe zone. Her team cheered as she surfaced and went to the beach.
One by one, the Ogres kept jumping. Zelda used Nayru's Love to shield her and slow herself down. Coco flapped her wings steadily while she was jumping. Dante used his telepathic powers to stay on target. All three landed in the safe zone.
Then, it was decided that Fred would jump next. But when he looked down, his answer was "Not happening."
"But why not?" Shrek asked him.
"I don't want to get my ascot wet," Fred replied. Sure enough, he was wearing that familiar orange neckwear.
Mandy couldn't believe what she just heard. "You idiot!" she yelled at him, "Why did you even bring it up here? And who cares if it gets wet?"
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"I never thought I would ever say this," Mandy said, "but Billy has competition."
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Fred was stunned at her reaction. "I'll take that chicken hat, please," he told Chris, who threw one at him. Fred grabbed it and put it on like a pro.
Mandy glared at Fred angrily before she jumped herself. If she had any emotion as she fell, she didn't show it. She simply kept that permanent scowl as she landed in the safe zone.
So it continued. Connie jumped after Mandy, but since she had no means of slowing down, she got the full speed; thus Connie spent her fall to the safe zone screaming.
Stan was the same way, freaking out as he fell. Superman, however, was able to use the cliff to slow himself down by simply using his feet to slide down. Both reached the safe zone.
Ash, who was wondering something, turned to Chris and asked, "Does Pikachu have to jump with me?"
"Yes," Chris replied. That caused Ash to shake his head. "Then I'm not jumping."
"You too?" Mandy asked from the bottom of the cliff, "It's just a rat! It can-"
She was interrupted by another jumper. This one was Yusei, who landed in the safe zone (and splashed Mandy in the process).
"Considering the fact that Pikachu's my best friend," Ash called from the top, "I don't want to see him get hurt. Besides, if got wet, he could wind up shocking everyone." "Pika!"
Lammy shrugged at her own team. "Fair enough," she said as Ash was given his chicken hat (Pikachu was given a miniature chicken hat).
The last to jump for the Green Ogres was Shrek. "If everyone would be so kind as to back away from the water, that would be great," he called to his team below.
"Uh I'm sure it would be fine," replied Connie.
"Ok," Shrek called, "don't say I didn't warn ya!" With that, he jumped. "CANNONBALL!"
(Think about this, readers. Owen was 296 lbs when he jumped in the first challenge in Island. Shrek is at LEAST 15 lbs heavier. And both jumped from about the same distance. You guys can figure out the rest.)
Every single Ogre was messed up after the huge splash receded. Stan was found hanging from a tree, while Coco was on the sand, her eyes rolling. Shrek had landed in the safe zone and was now on the beach, surprised at his jump's aftermath. "I told y'all ta move," he told everyone.
Chris was looking down at the mess. "I should've let them go second," he said, laughing, "That would have been an awesome finisher."
After a while, he composed himself. "Ogres have 10 jumpers, 2 chickens. Cute Koalas, you're up."
Rarity, knowing her hair had already been ruined twice, decided she might as well jump, albeit wishing she could protect her hair.
"Don't worry," she said to her hair, "I'll make sure to make you a better style than ever before." With thai, she jumped. As her magic was used primarily for beautifying stuff, she had no way to slow down. However, she wasn't all terrified, and she landed in the safe zone.
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Rarity is soaking wet. "I have a feeling my hair is only going to suffer worse during the show."
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Goku was next, using repeated kicks into the rock to slow down. Maya decided to jump together with Lammy, who was scared. Mega Man used his Mega Blaster to fire at the ground, slowing him down as well. All would also land in the safe zone.
"My turn!" Deadpool yelled, and he jumped. His plan was to use his teleportation belt to skip parts of the descent. For a second, that was working well. Then, when he teleported for the third time, his belt exploded. The force sent poor Deadpool flying over the safe zone and into the shark area.
P.B. was looking over the edge of the cliff for him. "Do any of you see him?" she called.
At that moment, Deadpool surfaced, apparently now chased by sharks and screaming. He was going so fast, he was practically running on the water. The poor guy arrived on the beach looking like he was mugged.
"Hey you ok?" Goku asked him.
"I'm fresh as a daisy," Deadpool replied. Then he started getting bugged about something. "Wait! Do I have to say that line?" He starts yelling at the camera. "Hey TheMasterKat! Do I really have to say I'm fresh as a daisy? (Author's note: Yes, yes you do. Now shut up!) Ugh!"
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"I should get more respect than this," Deadpool said, "I'm me!"
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Sam was laughing her head off. "Finally someone doesn't make the safe zone," she cackled, Now let's see if I can make it." And she dived perfectly, landing right into the safe zone.
P.B. looked at Double D, asking if he would jump. He just fainted. "I'll take that as a no," said Chris, putting a chicken hat on him. P.B. decided not to worry about it and jumped, landing safely.
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"Yusei was right," said Double D, "this challenge has too many ways for someone to get hurt."
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She was followed by Snake, who also simply dived. Next was Nom Nom, who made a simple cannonball. Both made the safe zone. Finally, there was only one person left to jump. Despite the floatie, Toph was extremely hesitant.
"Toph, if you jump, your team wins the challenge," explained Chris, "So it would be best to go for it."
It was the most nerve-wracking moment of the entire challenge. But Toph finally decided she had nothing to lose.
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"Whatever she does," said Snake, "I'm sure her continuance in the game depends on whether or not she jumps."
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"Just jump already!" Maya cried.
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And she jumped.
Everyone watched as she used her earthbending abilities to make stepping stones from the cliff. Finally, she landed in the safe zone. Everyone was worried, as it took her a second to come up, until she surfaced, still with the floatie in her grasp.
"Oh my God!" she yelled, "I did it!"
Chris was happy to deliver the news. "The Cute Koalas win! The Cute Koalas win!" The Koalas team cheered with happiness.
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"We won the first challenge!" Lammy beamed, "I'm not leaving first!"
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"Well I jumped," said Dante, "so I'm guaranteed to stay. But who is leaving?"
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Chris walked over to the Koalas. "Congratulations! And for your prize, you get a hot tub! And you're safe from elimination!" That caused a lot of cheers.
He then walked over to the Ogres. "I'm sorry Ogres, but today wasn't your day. Better decide who becomes the first to leave."
At that, the Ogres knew their answer, and they glared at the two people who were wearing chicken hats: Ash and Fred.
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The Cute Koalas were busy hanging out at the hot tub. Currently Lammy, Deadpool, Sam, and Double D (who was giddy with relief that he wouldn't leave, considering he was the only Koala that didn't jump) were in the tub while everyone else was relaxing nearby.
"Out of curiosity," asked Sam to Deadpool, "didn't Chris say no fourth wall breaking?"
Deadpool just laughed. "He's just jealous because the author wants to go out with ME and not HIM." (Go out with you? What?!)
"To the Killer Koalas!" Double D toasted, and everyone drank their soda cans (or was allowed to pretend, in one case).
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That night, the Green Ogres were in no condition to make a toast. In fact, they were all at a familiar bonfire pit, a few looking nervous. Chris came in with a plate of marshmallows.
"The ballots have been cast," he announced, "and you all know the routine. Whoever doesn't get one is out of here for good. And I'm surprised. Your votes weren't really diverse. When I call your name, come get your delicious safety."
"The first marshmallow goes to…...Shrek." Shrek picked up his marshmallow, clearly happy.
One by one, the competitors went to claim their marshmallows.
"Zelda."
"Julie."
"Superman."
"Connie."
"Yusei."
"Coco."
"Stan."
"Dante."
"And Mandy."
The only two left were Ash and Fred; the ones who had refused to jump.
"Two chickens in front of me, only one moves on," Chris said to them, "Neither of you jumped during the challenge, but for different reasons. Fred, you didn't want to get that ascot of yours wet, which I think is a stupid reason? Ash, despite keeping your pet safe and not charging his powers, you still didn't jump. Does your team think you care more about Pikachu than them?"
Ash was hugging Pikachu, fearing for the worst; Fred was trying (and failing) to mask his fear.
"The final marshmallow goes to…"
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"...Ash."
Ash was surprised for one second, before it turned into relief as he went to pick up his marshmallow.
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"Ash did have a legitimate reason to not jump, even if it was weird," said Connie, "but Fred didn't jump to protect an ascot? He's got to go."
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"Get out of here, ascot boy!" Mandy exclaimed.
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Fred was only slightly surprised with the results. "I should have known this would happen. But hey, this thing looks good on me though." Everyone rolled their eyes as Fred was loaded into the familiar cannon from Pahkitew. Within moments, he had blasted off into the air. "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!" could be heard in the distance.
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"The way Mandy tends to scare her team may prove to be quite useful for my game," said Nom Nom, "and I could use a nutcase like Deadpool to draw attention away from me. I think I found my alliance members."
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"Well, that's one down, 23 left to torture," said Chris to the camera, "What amazing stuff do we have for our competitors? And who will be the next to take the cannon? Find out next time! On Total! Drama! Everything!"
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And done! Poor Fred. But hey, at least his ascot's safe.
See you next chapter! And in the meantime, I'm going to get to the bottom of exactly why Deadpool said I was in love with him!
TheMasterKat out!