A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Ghastly, Gordon, or Valkyrie. Val is still 24, still her POV. Extreme Valduggery ahead, you have been warned.

I hadn't walked ten steps when heavy fists started pounding on the front door. I was half way down the stairs when an all too familiar voice thundered at me, accented by blows so hard the door shook in its frame. "Valkyrie Cain, you open this door now!" Skulduggery Pleasant roared.

"Go away, Skulduggery, it's over!" I yelled back, not about to give up my freedom. If he thought he could pull what he'd pulled and just walk back into my life he was mistaken.

"Valkyrie! I am warning you, you open this door now!"

I reached the foot of the stairs and crossed to the door. "Or you'll what, Skulduggery? Hit me like you're hitting the door? Go away, we're over! I NEVER want to see you again, EVER!"

"Valkyrie," His voice was dangerously calm. "Valkyrie, back away from the door, please. I'm coming in."

"I'm backing away because I'm going upstairs, Skulduggery! You do anything to that door and I'll have Cleavers here so fast it will make your head spin." I turned and had stomped half way back up the stairs when the front door exploded inwards. I turned in shock, looked down at Skulduggery as he stepped through the now empty doorframe. He looked up at me, his chest heaving. The look on his skeletal face was wild, lost. He was terrified out of his mind. Skulduggery held his hands up to me in helpless entreaty.

"Valkyrie!" He breathed. I couldn't hold the tears back as I ran down the stairs to meet him. He wrapped his long arms around me, his entire body convulsing with his sobs. His grief was vocal. A frightening wail that only grew in intensity as his arms wrapped tighter and tighter still. "Valkyrie!" He rasped. Then he was kissing me desperately, bringing his teeth down on my mouth, then my cheeks and forehead, the top of my head, my neck. Repeatedly he sought out new places, pressing his teeth wherever he dared, his hands roaming in agitation, clutching when he could no longer stand not holding me in them.

My hands stroked him back just as feverishly, finding his ribs, his spine, his neck, the top of his skull, knocking his hat to the floor in the process. I kissed him back, pouring all my my soul into every kiss, making contact with his forehead, then his jawline, then his neck, I desperately grabbed at his collar so I could place deep kisses on either clavicle.

Skulduggery groaned in utter misery, still not convinced I wanted him back. He repeatedly his process of feverish kisses, trailing them down my neck, adding gentle nips in between, repeating my name as his hands roved restlessly, gripping my clothing tightly. "Skulduggery!" I gasped at last, and he wound his arms tightly around me, bringing his teeth down on my lips with such intensity that I felt an electric current pass through me. I grasped the back of his skull pulling his closer still, and he opened his teeth in invitation, one I knew I had to take.

I couldn't have held back even if I had tried, and at that point I was beyond trying. At long last I could taste him, tracing his upper and lower teeth in wonder. I repeatedly caressed his maxilla bone, and he cried out, groaning, his entire frame shaking as he begged me to repeat the action. I complied and then he opened his jaws wide, nipping me firmly above and below my lips, pressing down, desperate to elicit sounds from me as well. I couldn't hold back my helpless whimper, and then his hands were roving once more, going ever closer to places he hadn't dared touch before, and he was nipping my neck without mercy. I returned the favour, only to feel him use him newly found talent to breathe in, his nasal cavity buried firmly in my neck, the resulting suction drawing a yelp of surprise from me.

I felt his entire body jerk in response and he reared back, his teeth finding my lips again, but this time far more calmly. His caresses were much more sedate now, and he was putting all the affection he could in each tender kiss, looking at me in between kisses. "Valkyrie." He breathed one more, caressing my face. "Valkyrie, please! I need you! I need my bride!" His whole body started to tremble and I realized he was crying again. I couldn't hate him then, any idea of being cruel to get my revenge evaporated and his tremors increased and the eerie, keening wail resumed.

I kissed him fully, as any lover would. I stroked his skull, repeating his name. "Skulduggery! Skulduggery! Don't you ever do something like that again, do you hear me?" I was crying again as I kissed him, my entire body shaking. He wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into a chaste kiss, his own body trembling.

"Valkyrie Cain, I love you." He whispered brokenly. He placed his teeth on my lips again, then drew back slightly, fear of rejection written on his skeletal features.

"I love you too, Skulduggery." I said, drawing him back in for a final magnificent kiss. We remained that way for the longest time, and when we at last parted it felt like part of me went with him. He was reaching for me again and I realized he not only didn't have a disguise on but his gloves were gone as well. I didn't ask any questions, I only took out his ring and slipped it on his finger, taking out the note with the other hand and letting the flames I drew consume it.

Several minutes later I watched in amusement as he first had to clean up the mess he created, then installed yet another door. "Skulduggery, where did you go when you left this morning?"

"You want the truth?" He looked at me, uncertainty written on his face.

"I'd appreciate it."

"I went to find a way to kill myself."

"You what?"

"Valkyrie!" Then I was in his arms again, and he was kissing me deeply. He drew back to look at me in his misery and tears started to pour from his eye sockets, and I kissed them, whispering his name repeatedly.

"God, Skulduggery. Why? Don't you know how much I love you?"

"I hurt you without even trying, Valkyrie! Do you have any idea how much worse our wedding night would be? I've never even been with a woman since I died, as far as I know I could seriously hurt you by trying to- You weren't- A woman's body was never designed to consummate a union with a skeleton." He pulled away.

"Oh, Skulduggery!" I reached for him, but he backed away, shaking his head.

"No Valkyrie! I'll hurt you, I know I will. I had to leave our bed last night because I couldn't bear the thought of no longer holding you, and I know I was causing you pain. Oh God, Valkyrie, you don't know how much my heart is breaking right now. I love you, but it would be utter cruelty to ask you to marry me. Yet, I can't not marry you. Valkyrie!"

I went to him, holding his skull gently in my hands, refusing to let him turn away. "Skulduggery, we will find a way. I wanted to last night, you just gave up too quickly. Being with you felt just fine when I was wrapped around you. Don't you think any lover would have places on him I might not be comfortable lying against? You should have given me more time, allowed me to move to adjust to your body. I adore you Skulduggery. I WANT to be with you. Please. We have to be together. I love you."

"But Valkyrie, when we marry, there won't even be a layer of clothing to pad my bones from you."

"I thought you intended to sleep with your suit on."

"I do, just not on our wedding night, obviously. Though if I were a bad guy I'd plan my attack for then. But it would be very hard to show you how I feel with too many clothes between us." He purred, pressing into me with a sigh of relief, one skeletal hand caressing my hair as the other found my waist. "Forgive me?" He asked, his velvety voice hopeful.

"For what? You got frightened, Skulduggery. Though had you managed to hurt yourself, that I wouldn't forgive you for, not ever."

He pressed his forehead into mine. "I suppose it would be very greedy of me to ask for another kiss before letting you go?" I smiled and kissed him in reply.

We did eventually make it to Gordon's private study. He glared at Skulduggery who clutched my hand, refusing to let go.

"What right do you have destroying yet another door, Skulduggery, and carrying on like a bean sídhe? Where on Earth is your disguise? Don't tell me you drove here like that!"

"No, no, I took it off on the front porch."

"In broad daylight? God, man, think!" He turned to me and his expression softened. "You don't even have to say a word, Valkyrie. I know you love him. I think you're marrying the village idiot, but you have my blessing for what it's worth."

I smiled, turning to look at Skulduggery. "He's right. You are the village idiot, but I'm marrying you anyhow."

Skulduggery nodded. "I can see how it is. A shotgun wedding. I always knew you'd resort to violence, Valkyrie." His voice was slightly brittle, but it was good to hear him teasing again.

I leaned in and kissed him, drawing a contented sigh from him, and a groan of disgust from Uncle Gordon. "Oh please, Valkyrie. Do you have to kiss him in front of me? I mean really, now. The man has no shame, but you know better. God."

I grinned at his display of mock disgust. Uncle Gordon indicated he wanted a few minutes alone with Skulduggery, and I reluctantly left then, going downstairs. I knew then of course that my sense of freedom and contentment hours earlier had been false bravado on my part. I needed Skulduggery. I hadn't imagined he needed me so desperately in return that he'd try and kill himself rather than live without me. I was thankful that if he had tried it hadn't worked. I hadn't seen any broken bones, but I wouldn't ask him, I couldn't cause him that type of pain.

When he at last joined me in the living room he didn't even have to as me to slide over into his lap so he could hold me tight against him. He kissed me again, tenderly, his smooth skeletal hands roaming freely over my body. I caressed his skull, worked a hand down to his neck, stroking the vertebrae gently, listening for changes in the soft murmurs he was making to tell if my touch pleased him or not. My lips found his teeth after the briefest parting, and I kissed him as fully as possible, not resisting when he once again parted his teeth, matching them with my lips, but not daring to go as far as I had earlier.

He repeated the invitation, still making soft murmurs. "Valkyrie, please. Don't back away, please." I took his invitation then, sure my heart was going to beat out of my chest then and there. His reaction was more controlled this time, but suddenly he had shifted, and I was on my back on the couch, Skulduggery on top of me, letting his full weight come to rest on me, however briefly.

I pulled him back down gently. He was heavy, but his weight against me felt wonderful. I sighed happily as he settled his skull on my shoulder, his long arms wrapped around me. His hips rested on mine, and he'd somehow managed to put his legs between my own, but there was nothing sexual in his gesture. He wanted held, and I obliged him, listening to his soft sounds of appreciation. I kissed the top of his skull and he nuzzled into me, his teeth finding my jaw for a kiss, then a gentle series of nips so soft that I barely felt them.

"You behave, Mister, or I'll nibble on you." I teased.

"Nibbling sounds like a wondrous idea." He replied, starting in on my earlobe.

"Skulduggery!" I giggled.

"Hmm?" He asked, pressing his nasal bone into a rather sensitive area of my neck. I gasped at the sensation and heard him chuckle slightly. "I'm remembering that for our wedding night, you know. But that isn't where I'll be pressing."

"Skulduggery Pleasant!"

"Saying my name already, are we? Then I simply must let you up." He rose, looking at me with an expression half way between smug and satisfied.

"You are a terrible man."

"I never said I wasn't. You'll be happy to know Ghastly has resumed work on your dress, but not before threatening to do things to me I wouldn't repeat in front of a lady. I'll tell you though, since you're no lady."

"Very funny."

"I'm always funny."

"No, you're always annoying."

"Funny, or you get to practice celibacy on your wedding night."

"Fine by me, since that would include you by default."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You started it."

"And now I'm ending it. Now where was I? Ah yes, Ghastly was threatening me, but first admit I'm funny."

"You're funny, all right."

"Be nice."

"Fine, you're funny."

"Right you are. Well, Ghastly threatened to take his shears, you know, the big ones, and do utterly dreadful things to me with them. He promised I'd be a girl skeleton by the time he finished. He said it in perfect Gaeilge too."

"I imagine he did." I smiled.

"You seem to be missing the point. He threatened your husband, Valkyrie. Please feel free to call and threaten him in return like a loving wife."

"We aren't married quite yet, Skulduggery."

"A minor detail. You are already my beloved bride, therefore I am your precious husband and you must defend my honour to your father. I insist."

"You're aren't kidding, are you?" I sighed and got my mobile out, putting the battery back in. Ghastly picked up on the third ring.

"I suppose the fool is there with you now? I won't hold it against you if you kill him, Valkyrie. Daddy is good friends with the Grand Mage, go ahead and kill him, sweetie."

I laughed. "But da, I like him!" I mock whined.

Ghastly snorted. "You're dress is coming along quite nicely, though I'd really love to have some bone accents to put on it. I'm sure he told you where I'd like to take them from, the whining git."

"He did."

"You realize the big, brave warrior is hiding behind his wife? God, you've changed him, Valkyrie, and for the better. We don't have any updates so you two try and get along. Not too well until you're married properly of course."

"Dad!" Ghastly just laughed in reply and rang off.

Skulduggery tilted his head quizzically. "You're safe Skulduggery, he isn't going to kill you. He's still working on the dress so you know he intends for the wedding to take place."

Skulduggery nodded. "But what about you, Valkyrie, are you angry at me?"

"Not anymore. I couldn't stay angry, not when you slew yet another fearsome door to defend me."

"Ah, well, he was guarding the castle keep and simply wouldn't move."

"Said the man who can pick locks."

"That would have taken too long, and I was rather upset if you recall."

"I know, Skulduggery, I was too. I think my artifical state of denial was about to come crashing down when you called."

"Then you did miss me?"

"Lord, you're thick."

"I don't like to make assumptions, Valkyrie. Having hurt you, just by wanting to hold you-"

"It was a tiny bit painful, yes, but we could have adjusted. We did fine just now."

"We did at that. But still it hardly seems right to ask you to settle for me."

"I'm not settling. I'm getting the world's only skeleton detective. That counts for a lot, you know."

"So it would seem. But I am serious, Valkyrie. It will hurt when you're with me, I can be tender, but still, you're not meant to be with a skeleton. As gentle as I'd be, I know it would still hurt for you."

"It would be painful with any man the first time, Skulduggery. I know you don't intend to hurt me. I don't intent to let you, I'll let you know if something is too painful."

"You promise? You're wedding night should be pleasurable. I'm not so vain-glorious as to assume I can give you that. Well, yes, yes, I am. I will do my level best and I generally excel at everything I do, but hurting you, causing you pain, it's not something I'm willing to do. I was blunt enough before I think, so you understand my concerns."

"I also know you're highly intelligent and wonderfully inventive, Skulduggery. you won't do wrong by me. I trust you, I do. You were willing to kill yourself to avoid hurting me, because you knew you needed to be with me. Don't you see that? God, Skulduggery, you would literally rather die that hurt me."

He nodded solemnly. "That I would."

Skulduggery had asked me if I'd like to come home and so I was packing a cardboard box with the remaining takeout humming 'I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen' under my breath. I was still surprised that Skulduggery was at last being serious about his concerns over our wedding night. I was sure it could hurt at points, having once been whacked with a field hockey stick as a young girl and then walking wrong for a week. But I also knew any pain would never be intentional on his part. I had wanted to point out I was aware of a lot more that he seemingly supposed I was, but he liked the idea of my being innocent so I didn't.

Besides we were three days out from the battle, and so far nothing had happened. I felt good enough to start singing as I finished packing the box, wandering into the living room for a few more books I wanted, singing 'Sunshine' by Jonathan Edwards. I was ready and Skulduggery still hadn't come back down, so I went to the foot of the stairs after stowing the box in the rear of the Bentley, cocking my head to listen. I heard his voice, so I relaxed and went back to the living room to wait. Something was bothering me though, and I couldn't place it.

I reached under the couch, drawing out the Colt .45 Defender pistol, making sure the safety was on before slipping her into one of my many jacket pockets. I thought for a moment and reached under for several clips as well. What did I expect to do, get in a shootout with the cave spirit in broad daylight? Still the preparations made me feel better.

I realized the air in the room had shifted and looked up to see Skulduggery watching me, arms folded, his face relaxed. He looked at me for a long moment, then spoke. "Preparing for war, are we? Good, you should be. I don't like our opponents not showing up yet today. Unless of course they were so wounded they can't. Though if you shoot the killer before I do I'll be very sad, Valkyrie."

I laughed and went to him for a hug. He held me close for a moment, then offered me his arm. We walked out to the Bentley, Skulduggery pausing to glare at his most hated enemy, the front door. I shook my head, laughing again.

Skulduggery turned to me, pleased with himself. "That door is simply evil, Valkyrie. It is always between us when I need to get to you quickly. Besides, as I've often said, doors are for people with no imagination. And bad taste, very bad taste. I hate doors, that door specifically." I pulled him down the walkway, towards the Bentley, Skulduggery straining his neck to shoot a parting glare at his hated foe.

When we got to our front door Skulduggery stopped me after he unlocked the door. Before I could protest he picked me up and carried me in, kissing me deeply before setting me down. "Practice." He said smoothly, clearly preening. I shook my head, then grinned up at him.

"You're a very strange man, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"And yet, here you are with me. The best decision you've ever made, to be honest. Would you- Could you use a lay down? I know I could use the meditation." I smiled and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead me up to our bedroom. Skulduggery kissed me softly before allowing me to get in, joining me without an invitation for the first time. He smiled, a clear signal that I could get as close as I wanted.

I went over to him, caressing his ribs through his clothes, enjoying the contented sigh the gesture drew from him. I knew he had closed what passed for his eyes, and it gave me the courage I needed to draw closer, coming to rest on his ribcage, the rest of my body angled into his, but not on top of him. Skulduggery growled softly, grabbing me, pulling me the rest of the way onto him. We were flush with each other when he looked at me, then hesitantly drew my head down until I could find a good spot on his clavicle.

I relaxed into him, feeling him shift slightly, trying to arrange himself so he wouldn't hurt me. "Skulduggery, it's OK. You feel good."

"But the gap between my ribs and hips can't exactly be good to lay on."

"Mmm, the framework is holding my up, to be honest. How do you wear it all the time? It has to hurt."

"I will suffer for fashion. Besides, I always like to be ready for combat at a moment's notice. That, and well, I'm not quite as impressive without it, Valkyrie."

"I've seen you with you shirt mostly off, Skulduggery. You're very impressive without it."

"The things you say. I won't have it on for our wedding night of course, you think of that while you sleep." He said in a velvety purr, his skeletal arms coming up to embrace me as we both drifted off into blackness.

Many thanks to my readership for your continued support. If the Valduggery went too far and grossed you out just let me know.