A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, Cleavers, the White Cleaver, Strom, Tipstaff, or Valkyrie. Yeh Yeh and Doctor Galen Morgagni are my OCs, though. Val is still 24, story is still in her point of view. Thanks to those still reading!

I awoke the next morning, perfectly content to stay put right where I was. Of course we were probably needed, but the sun hadn't quite risen yet. I did need some coffee though, so I at last got up reluctantly and set about making some. Skulduggery stayed in deepest meditation, but shifted, grasping for me. He turned his skull slightly from side to side, and I realized he was showing his displeasure over me moving, even in his sleep. His jaw opened and closed, a soft cry coming from him. His face looked pained, upset, worried. I sighed, left the hot water and climbed back into bed. Almost immediately, Skulduggery rolled towards me, clasping his arms around me.

I stroked his skull then gave in to his efforts to roll on his back and drag me on top of him. I'd just settled back in when I heard the barest snort of suppressed laughter. "Skulduggery Pleasant, you big faker! I thought you were having a nightmare!" I growled, attempting to get back up. That man never did have to do much to make me angry, and right then I was livid.

Skulduggery wrapped his skeletal arms tightly around me and made one of his happy chirrups. "But you came back to bed, Valkyrie, you were worried about me!" He was trying very hard to look cute and adorable to escape my early morning wrath. The problem was, it was working.

"Skulduggery." I sighed, stroking his skull affectionately. "You're a terrible man in the morning."

"Skeleton."

"Say that a little louder so the official can come arrest me on morals charges." I growled, once again going to rise. Skulduggery tilted his skull, looking hurt.

"Fine. Don't marry me then. See if I care." He tilted his skull away from me, taking his arms away. "You're right, Valkyrie, I'm only a skeleton. It would be wrong of you to be with me. I won't hold you to our engagement." I heard the tears in his voice and turned his skull back to face me, kissing him deeply. He returned the kiss, flipping me on my back, pinning me under him. Then he pulled away and burst out laughing.

"I can't belive you fell for that!" He was laughing so hard he was doubled over as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Oh, Valkyrie," he minced in a high mocking voice, "we simply mustn't marry. T'is wrong, t'is wrong!" He flung a dramatic arm over his eye sockets, then doubled over once again, falling off the bed to lay of the floor, convulsing with hysterical laughter.

"Idiot." I growled, but I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice. I got up to make the coffee, happy there were some instant packets at least. Skulduggery was still making wheezing sounds of amusement, but I went and sat by him when he patted the floor.

"Disrespecting the rest of the dead, that's what you are. You living girls, always wanting a helpless skeleton who can't say a word to defend his honour."

"You say plenty of words." I growled. Skulduggery propped himself on one elbow, wiping away tears of amusement. "Those are new, not to be insensitive, Skulduggery, but do you actually cry, or-"

"Mmm." He nodded in amusement. "They are real and no, I have no idea how or why. I don't even have tear ducts. I think the water or whatever it is comes from my skull, which is kind of disgusting, come to think of it."

He put a gloved finger in his mouth, touching it to his maxilla. "They are salty."

"Wait, you can taste now?"

"Yes, apparently so. I can't eat of course, and putting food or liquids against my bones in large amounts isn't a good idea, but I can taste now, just like I can smell that coffee. It smells heavenly, by the way." He said, dropping a not-so-subtle hint.

I fetched a spoon taking some out for him. "Let it cool for a second, Skulduggery. You are of course going to ruin your gloves if you keep this up, you know."

He tilted his head at me. "You do it then." He said happily, opening his jaws. When I just stared at him in shock he spoke again. "No really, I insist. As my friend and partner you should be happy to do it. Just a drop to taste is all." I dipped a finger in the coffee, grumbling as I reached in and gently touched the coffee to his maxilla. Skulduggery's teeth closed around my finger gently and I swear he winked at me. "Mmm, coffee tastes good, but you taste better." He managed around my finger. I felt the heat rise to my face and he released my finger, making a soft cooing sound at me.

"You're a crazy man, I hope you know that." I grumbled.

"Crazy for you, maybe." He said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Skulduggery took out his pocket watch, considering it. "Four AM. How do we manage to do this so often? Still, I bet we can sneak out and back for some breakfast if you'd like, my treat of course. A woman who's going to be arrested on morals charges needs a good last meal."

I laughed and cuddled into him. "You do know I'm not attracted to you in some weird kind of way, right? Yes, you're hot, but I wouldn't do anything with you ever if you weren't able to participate or consent, you know that, right?"

Skulduggery stroked my hair. "Of course I do, Valkyrie. If you were an actual necrophiliac my being able to move and think and speak would ruin all your fun, though I suppose the romantic kinds would protest otherwise. Still, the important thing to remember is I'll be safe from arrest. I'll be happy to tell the judge it was all my idea too, as they haul you off to the gaol."

"You're all heart, you know that?"

"No, I'm all bone. But finish your coffee. Flouting Ghastly's wishes and getting you some breakfast awaits us."

Even at four AM the Sanctuary would have been a hive of activity, being a city unto itself, so we escaped out the window, Skulduggery wrapping his arms around me, then rising into the air. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, and we soon landed not far from a small strip mall, the signs for the McDonald's and Chinese place blaring bright like neon into the night. Skulduggery tilted his head. "Burgers or possible feline homicide victims, you choose."

"Skulduggery, that's mean!"

"Of course. Around here I'm sure they catch rats, or maybe shrews for those nugget things they call chicken." He grinned at me from behind his disguise and I shook my head.

"Well as tempting as a 4 AM burger sounds, I should go see if they have any of those chicken dumplings that come with the hot peanut sauce, and some tea would be nice."

"Vegetable rolls?"

"Yes-"

"And wonton soup, I'm supposing, plus pepper steak?"

"Right-"

"Good, excellent choices." Skulduggery led me in to a bright orange booth, and listened to the elderly owner's few words of English, then answered in perfect Chinese. The man smiled, clearly happy to find someone to talk to, and his grand gestures made me worry he'd cook the whole kitchen in an effort to please us.

He went back into the kitchen at last, singing happily. I looked at Skulduggery, who merely shrugged. "I am over four hundred years old, Valkyrie. The language, and that was Mandarin Chinese or Pǔtōnghuà by the way, isn't really all that hard to pick up. Well, for me. You'd need a translator. But that's what I'm here for." He said, giving my hand a comforting pat. I wanted to be annoyed, I wanted to say something smart and spiteful like I usually would. But I could feel the adoring gaze from behind his disguise and reached out to hold his hands instead.

"You're in a really good mood this morning. You're actually looking forward to getting married, aren't you?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm. But as I said, as far as I'm concerned we are married, we only need wait for certain things to please Ghastly. I owe the man that much."

The owner brought out the tea in a beautiful pot, placing the small cup before me and pouring. "Xie xie, yeh yeh." I managed politely and he beamed at me before scurrying back to his cooking.

"Where on Earth did you learn Chinese?" Skulduggery asked.

"'Ni Hao, Kai Lan.' It's am American kid's show, to tell you the truth I don't even know if the words were in the right order, but he seemed happy."

"You also seemed more polite than normal, saying thank you, honouring him with the title of 'grandfather'. Does he remind you of your own?" Skulduggery asked wistfully.

"I never knew either grandfather to tell you the truth, but yes. I suppose he makes me want him to be my grandfather. I never got to experience that."

"If Strom were still alive I bet he would have liked to hear that. About himself of course. I think he liked you well enough, though he wasn't the fond grandfatherly type come to think of it. More of the inappropriate type considering he was flirting with China. But I'm sure we can find you a grandfather somewhere if you want one."

He was positively beaming, and it all suddenly clicked. "You liked having a family, didn't you, Skulduggery?"

"OF course I did, Valkyrie, and I have one again. There's you of course, and Ghastly and Tanith. I suppose Erskine counts, and Tipstaff can be the annoying uncle nobody likes." We both laughed. I didn't say it to Skulduggery, but I wanted a family too, to replace the one I lost. I didn't have to of course, the way he held my free hand as we sat there told me he knew and understood. "By the way, I've told him I simply can't eat due to a rare medical condition, but it would give me the greatest pleasure if he cooked the things you wanted and would join us. I didn't think you would mind."

"That was sweet of you, Skulduggery, I hope he does join us."

"Well if he doesn't I see someone else who will." I turned to see Ghastly and Tanith entering, Ghastly holding the door for Tanith. She blushed slightly and walked in, then smiled hugely as she spotted us.

"Sis! What are you doing out of the gaol? Uh, I mean Sanctuary." She amended, catching Ghastly's annoyed look. He didn't like the dreary place anymore than she did, but he was an Elder.

"I couldn't face the food, sis. The prisoners eat better." I said as she slipped in beside me. Ghastly grinned at that, delighting in the confused look that crossed Tanith's face.

"I thought the prisoners didn't have to eat?" She asked.

"That's what Valkyrie meant, Tanith." Ghastly replied, clearly amused. She blushed again and I wondered what they had been up to in the van on the way over. Then I stopped wondering because with Ghastly being my dad the thought made me queasy.

The owner came out, saw Ghastly and Tanith and clapped his hands in delight. He said something to Skulduggery who nodded, then the owner disappeared into the kitchen repeated the words 'wode jiating' over and over, quite happily, chuckling slightly. I looked at Skulduggery and could feel him smile. "He said 'my family'. He hasn't seen his own in over two hundred years, so he asked if he could adopt all of us in a sense. Seeing as how he says he's nearly a thousand years old, and rather lonely here, I agreed. So you have your new grandfather."

Ghastly smiled. "See? I told you you'd have a magical family. Now of course that means you have to come visit him wherever you're at the Sanctuary, I insist."

"I will. He seems very sweet. I wish I knew more Chinese though, so I could talk to him."

"Who says you'll ever return here alone, Valkyrie? I'll be more than happy to translate until I've taught you Chinese." Skulduggery offered.

"Skulduggery, I can't speak twenty words of Gaelic, yet I live here."

"Then I'll teach you that as well. Improve your French, perhaps some German. It helps greatly when you're in a foreign Sanctuary since they'll often talk about you right in front of you or argue about things you shouldn't know in their own language. Not everyone is that stupid, but enough of them are."

It wasn't long before the owner came out smiling, pushing a cart laden with a tremendous amount of food. He welcomed Ghastly and Tanith, telling them they were also his children now, but adding slyly that he had only one granddaughter before smiling at me, Skulduggery translating. We all offered to help but he served us, then sat down at a chair he pulled up. The meal was heavenly, everything I had craved plus roast duck, pickled vegetables, what looked like eel, and several other delicacies Grandfather or Yeh Yeh insisted we all try.

When all the food had been eaten the sun was high in the sky and I realized with a start we'd spent over four hours in his company, enjoying the food, tea, and Yeh Yeh's endless stories. He was sweetly charming, a clever storyteller, and I got the impression he had been one in the Imperial court. There was something about him that reminded me of the old stories of Oriental dragons coming down to interact with humans, and I was utterly charmed.

When he pulled me into a hug before we left I smelt a certain pleasant musky odor, that somehow reminded me even more strongly of the stories. I swore I could almost feel a warm scaled body beneath his clothing, just for a second before he felt like a frail old man again, and his wink when we parted confirmed my suspicions. He was magical all right, but then all dragons are.

Ghastly drove us back to the Sanctuary in the van, smiling at us in the rear view mirror. "Oh, almost forgot. No running off at night for Chinese unless you tell an Elder first, you two. Bad detectives, bad." We all laughed, and it was a good ride, the sun warming the inside of the van nicely. Skulduggery looped an arm around me, pulling me close, and I nestled into him, enjoying the warmth the van's temperature lent to his bones.

Tanith would look over occasionally at Ghastly, and they held hands as he drove, a silent communication passing between them. At a red light she leaned over and kissed Ghastly, a sight that caused at least one pedestrian to smile. We pulled up to the Sanctuary at last and Skulduggery and I exited quietly, leaving Tanith wrapped in Ghastly's arms.

Skulduggery grinned at me as we returned to our room and he could shed the disguise at last. "I think those two had a really good idea, don't you?" He kissed me deeply, his contented sigh growing into a soft growl as I returned his kiss, stroking his skull.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, opening his mouth in invitation. I took his invitation, not surprised when he used his newly found skill in response, and although I had no experience in such things, I imagined it felt right. Clearly it would take us some practice to prefect out technique, lots and lots of practice.

Skulduggery seemed content to explore the new skill, caressing the back of my teeth, exploring with a velvety touch. Suddenly his body jerked and I pulled back to look at him. He let go of me and backed off several paces. "It would appear I can feel through the shadows if I choose to attach them to myself, and well, that was a bit much, considering."

"Sorry. I just- I've never done anything like this before, Skullduggery. Sorry." I apologized. He made a soothing sound.

"No, don't be. I should apologize, I'm not being much of a gentleman, am I? I just keep thinking you've done all this before, but as I said waiting is one gift I can give you, and I will. Speaking of gifts, is there anything you desire? I know you told me you had something planned."

"That was before I saw you'll get rid of the tracers any time you feel like it."

"Ah, that. Come here, please." He held out his arms and I went to him, feeling his bones as he held me tightly to him. He trembled slightly, then spoke. "When I thought I had hurt you, I left our bed, I told you that. But did I tell you I had nightmares in my meditation? Of hurting you so badly you'd just up and leave? Because I did. The very idea of hurting you by showing you my love was more than I could bear, so I wrote you the note and left my ring. I hoped you'd somehow find me, stop me in time, but I knew you wouldn't."

"I even called into the Sanctuary, hoping Ghastly would know something was wrong, but he didn't. I got in the Bentley and just drove. I wanted to kill myself, Valkyrie, rather than harm you with my love, I truly did. But I couldn't be sure any of the options would truly kill me. I was terrified for your sake to be left even a little bit alive, terrified you'd nurse me back to health and I'd hurt you as badly as I did in my nightmares."

"So I parked on the train tracks and waited for hours for a train to come, but it never did. It never did, Valkyrie, and I wanted it to more that I've ever wanted anything. I just sat there crying because my love for you hurt so much. Then my mobile rang or I thought it did. I pulled off the train tracks to answer, thinking you had called, and then, then the train went by." He smiled sadly.

"Thank God, Skulduggery! You had an angel watching over you."

"Perhaps. There was no call but I swear I heard it ring the way it does when you call. I missed you so very much, Valkyrie, I must have hallucinated it. That's when I realized I couldn't die. I couldn't ever see you again, but I couldn't die either."

"Skulduggery! I love you, do you understand that? I adore you. You ever hurt yourself and I'm following you, do you understand me?"

"Valkyrie!"

"For all you know the killer or the cave spirit sent that nightmare, Skulduggery. We've been together for several nights now and you have yet to hurt me."

"I know, I know. I hope that continues. I'm just afraid that when there are no clothes between us, you'll get hurt."

"I'm sure a clever man like you will figure something out."

"Skeleton. I have actually, but let's not talk about it right now or we won't be waiting until our wedding night. We should report to Ghastly's office, I'm sure there will be all sorts of nifty leads today."

"True, I'm wondering if he'll let us in the cave now that the killer is gone."

"I highly doubt it, but then I doubted you'd ever love me. Well, come along then."

Ghastly was in his office, and he looked up when we came in. "Tea?" He asked me, and I nodded. I wondered if he could function without making tea every time he saw us and resolved not to test the idea. The ritual was his was way of dealing with the case. I noticed Tanith was absent but said nothing. I knew she had to be bored, and now working with the Sanctuary she couldn't spend all the time she wanted with Ghastly. Somehow Ghastly must have guessed what I was thinking.

"Your sister is out picking on Cleavers, spoiling for a fight. I'm seriously going to need you to entertain her every so often, Valkyrie. She's a good asset to the Sanctuary, but she's driving the staff nuts when there isn't anything to do."

I sipped at my tea. "You want me to go entertain her now, don't you?" I asked. Ghastly smiled and nodded. I finished my tea and got up, looking at Skulduggery. "Now be a good partner and do everything Elder Bespoke tells you." I teased.

Skulduggery laughed, but Ghastly looked at me and groaned. "Don't do that, it's creepy." I grinned and left in search of Tanith.

I found her mercilessly berating one of the Cleavers, trying to lure him into fighting. He stood stock-still, his training holding. I knew she hated Cleavers for a good reason, after what the White Cleaver did to her, but I didn't want to see one of the few guards we had get decapitated if he were foolish enough to move either. "Sis, if you break your toys I'm not buying you any new ones." I said dryly.

"Hey!" She said happily. "Want to have a go? This place is boring, there's never anything to do."

"This paperwork, there's reading reports, there's all sorts of things useful to the case that you could be doing." I reminded her. "As a matter of fact, how about going to the morgue with me? I want to see what they've found out first-hand."

"Shouldn't Skulduggery do that with you?" She asked skeptically.

"As Skulduggery so lovingly reminds me, he'll be dead one day, and I'll have to function on my own. Coming?" Tanith grumbled, but went with me. Of course along the way she had all sorts of nosy questions to ask about things she had no business knowing.

"You want a bachelorette party before you go to your doom?"

"No, those are disgusting, Tanith, a bunch of drunken women waving adult toys and lingerie all around, howling like drunken she-cats." I shivered in distaste.

"Aww, you're no fun. Then you want to go shopping for stuff you'll need for the wedding night?"

"Tanith!"

"What? I'm older and have more experience. I'm going to take Ghastly shopping."

"Wait until after you're married. God."

"What?" She asked stopping, arms folded and eyes narrowed.

"He's a gentleman, Tanith. You don't take a gentleman to a place like that unless you're involved. Some of them not even then."

"Are you saying you wouldn't take Skulduggery?"

"That's really none of your business. I thought all Englishwomen had good manners." Tanith glared at me and fell silent. I knew she meant well, but she had no respect for other people's privacy. Still, I knew I'd hurt her feelings. "Tanith, I'm sorry, but those things are private to me, OK? I've never had a sister before, but I don't think they look at stuff like that together."

She nodded stiffly. I sighed. But we had arrived at the morgue doors so a better apology would have to wait until later. The pathologist, Doctor Galen Morgagni was in, and he waved us in cheerily. "Just about to begin the autopsy, Detective Cain. I remember you enjoying them before, care to observe?" I nodded and following him into the autopsy room, Tanith falling behind. I looked at her and she shrugged, her eyes locked onto a small sign that read "Hic locus est ubi mors gaudet succurrere vitae."

"This is the place where death rejoices to help those who live." I translated automatically and Doctor Morgagni turned, well-pleased.

"Indeed the dead do rejoice to teach the living, I've been doing this job for over three hundred years and I'm still learning new things. The living owe so much to the dead, don't you agree?" The pathologist asked, handing over a small jar of Vick's Vapor Rub, and two masks. I applied some of the rub under my nose, and put the mask on. He also handed over two elastic bands. "Sorry ladies, hair back, rules are rules." He said, his voice muffled by his own mask. He was right. All we needed was trace evidence from ourselves on the corpse. Luckily he didn't seem inclined to make us don smocks or shoe covers.

He took out a slim recorder and dictated as he worked, turning to us to comment as he did. "Can you believe how old he was, ladies? Such a fine specimen for his age. He doesn't look a day over eight hundred, if that." I looked at Tanith and she shrugged. It seemed all magical people aged differently. She was over a hundred and while she was certainly beautiful and youthful looking, Ghastly, who was over four hundred looked no older. No one even knew how long a sorcerer could live, but it seemed to be a very long time indeed.

We watched the autopsy, not speaking, and I made mental notes. Everything about the god or would-be god's body was normal, if unbelievably well preserved. Some parts I knew would be kept as specimens, considering the great age he had lived to.

But there was nothing here in the outside examination I could see that would help with the case. The examination continued, and Tanith turned away slightly as the body was opened and the organs examined and weighed. At long last it was time to examine the brain. First the scalp was peeled back after the skin was carefully cut at the back of the head, but it wasn't done in a macabre way. The dead were truly respected there, even ones like the killer.

Then Dr. Morgagni pulled out a bone saw to begin work on extracting the brain. He hummed as he worked, careful that the saw cut only bone and not the brain as well. With the skull cap removed he lifted out the brain, dictating comments into his recorder. "I'm sorry Doctor, but what is that black mass near the brain stem?" I asked, having wandered closer.

"Why, Detective Cain, I didn't even notice that. It isn't a tumor, it almost looks solid, strange." He used a skilled hand to prize it our from between the brain stem and brain proper with his scalpel. He knocked it into the waiting jar he was holding, and it landed in the bottom with a soft clink. He looked over at me with joy in his eyes. "Quite the find indeed, Detective Cain. I must get this examined at once." He walked off, calling for a tech, who dutifully disappeared for parts unknown to send the object out for the needed tests.

Tanith looked faintly green and excused herself, so I asked if she could send Skulduggery down if she saw him. The body of the killer might have more treasures to yield.

Please Note: I'm well aware there aren't Oriental dragons in the Landy books. Xie xie means 'thank you', Ni Hao is 'Hello' and yeh yeh means 'grandfather' in Mandarin Chinese. Yes, I really did pick that up from a kid's show. But I hope you enjoyed it, feel free to comment!