Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon or Gundam Wing. But I do won a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Oh wait... nope. I ate it.

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Fuseiseki : Failure

Chapter Seventeen : Hard Choices

...

Duo was leaning against the counter in the kitchen. He had showered, and changed his clothes. As many of them had. Hilde was next to him, in a swiveling chair, and the room was occupied with many other people. Everyone was there in fact, save Hiiro and Relena. He sighed, and ran a hand though his hair. They hadn't seen Relena since she'd run out into the night. There were guards of Sanq currently searching for the distraught Queen, and Hiiro had locked himself in his room.

His leg pained him little. His chest, little more than an extremely sensitive scar. The wound on his head had already healed. He had watched the bullet pull itself from the skin of his leg in the shower. It seemed having the powers of the planets came along with this accelerated healing. He was glad of it, because they had no time to rest. No doubt Hiiro would appear soon.

"You've explained the circumstances." Milliardo said. "With regret, I fail to see what can be done."

Quatre opened his hand, and in it a computer appeared. In the same moment, A visor covered his eyes, blue in color, and he scanned the screen with fast eyes. "I know where they are." He said.

"Where did that come from?" Noin asked, staring at the Blonde Arabian. He shrugged.

"It's become easier to access many things lately." He said, his fingers flying over the keys of the small computer. "I'm sure all the guys agree with me. I'm not sure where it all comes from, but we have many weapons at our aid. Hiiro was right in saying it. We can go and retrieve her."

"You'll get yourselves killed." Everyone looked up at the new voice in the room. Relena stood there, both hands clasped at her chest.

"Relena." Duo growled, though he barely meant to. "He has Usagi, We can't just..." She raised a hand to cut him off.

"I know." She said quietly. "I know allot of things now." She brought her hand back to her chest with the other, over her heart. It looked... strange. She was shaking slightly, but her voice was strong. "I would ask that someone retrieve Hiiro." She said. "And after, that you all meet me in the study. I have much to tell you."

Duo looked at Hilde, who stood, and followed Relena with quick feet through the doorway she had just entered, wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulder. He then turned his gaze to the rest of the occpants of the room. Quatre's computer had disappeared as quickly as it came.

"I'll go." Duo said, turning to leave, wondering all the while what bothered him about Relena's stance, the way she held her hands. He gave Hilde a quick kiss, and walked towards his comrades bedroom. He could be sure of nothing anymore. The world was slowly going to hell.

...

"Hiiro." He knocked on the door and said his comrade's name at the same time. The door opened as if Hiiro had been standing behind it. The stoic pilot's eyes were blazing. Duo's eyes softened in return. He'd showered, and changed, and his cuts and bruises were healing, fading, but he still had that air of battle about him. He was fighting every moment without her. It was painful to see.

"You have to come to the study. Relena wants to speak to all of us." Hiiro did not speak. Did not move. The whole of his person was as if in stone. Carefully, Duo raised his hand, setting it on the shoulder of the person he considered to be his best friend. "We're going to get her back." He said. "But we can't just go barging in without a plan. Hear Relena out."

His posture loosened up, only a bit, and he nodded, stood, and closed the door behind him before following Duo down the hall.

...

Quatre was filled with a dread that was not his own. He wondered at them, them being the conflicting emotions that poured from the Queen of Sanq. She held her hands at her chest still, clasping them over her heart. She was hunched in the seat she had chosen, different from her normal Queen-like air. They waited in silence for Duo and Hiiro to show. When they entered the enclosed study, Hiiro leaned against the shelves of books, and Duo took a seat next to Hilde on a plush couch.

Quatre watched, as Relena's eyes lingered on Hiiro for just a moment, and his on hers, before she took a deep breath. What she was about to divulge, he would have never guessed.

...

Her head hurt. Her heart hurt. It was one reason she clutched it so. But the other reason... "I know why Usagi gave herself up. And I know how to get her back."

All eyes were on her. She was used to it. She'd been a figurehead for so long, but in this instance it made her nervous. "When I ran... it was because this feeling was building inside me, this need, and when I stopped... Queen Selenity appeared to me."

"Usagi's Mother?" Duo asked. She nodded. Her hands were still shaking. "But she's dead." She nodded again.

"Just as the Senshi came to you out of pure will to help Usagi, Queen Selenity came to me. It seems that when Usagi landed, the power that was capable of destroying that base was lost. A power that has been ingrained in her from birth. A power trapped in a large crystal to focus it."

"The Ginshinzou." Her eyes turned to Quatre. This, Selenity had told her too. The only one who would know just how to return the power to Usagi was her Arabian friend.

"Yes. The Ginshinzou. But there is something Usagi didn't know. Something that was hidden from her from the very start. The Ginshinzou was not just her source of power. It was a piece of her very soul, separated from her until she was fully prepared to use it. When she fell, she unconsciously cast it away from herself, and to keep itself safe, it sought out a carrier, a place to rest until Usagi was ready once again. Fighting Chaos almost destroyed her you see. She was on the verge of death when she landed. Only the memories of the ones she lost kept her alive."

"So you know who the carrier is then?" Trowa asked. Quatre was squirming next to him. She could see it in his eyes that he already knew where this was going.

"I do." She said. Her hands were shaking again. "Do you remember what Usagi's last name was? In the centuries before this one?"

"Tsukino." Hiiro said it gruffly. "Usagi Tsukino." Relena smiled, Knew her eyes were watering. She was scared, and she was resolved.

"Yes, Older sister to Shingo Tsukino, one of my very own ancestors. A thousand years removed." She looked down at the floor, looked up again. "So it would make sense, that the Ginshinzou nestled itself inside me. I am the carrier."

"What does this mean?" Milliardo asked. "For you?"

Relena sighed. Here it was, the moment she'd been dreading to say aloud. She remembered the cool voice of Selenity, whispering it ever so softly, saying how sorry she was. "The removal of the Ginshinzou will end my life." She said. "It has joined with my soul." She clenched her fists tighter to her chest. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.

Quatre had his computer out in an instant. He scanned her with fingers flying over the keys, his eyes wide in disbelief. "In front of me the whole time." He whispered, and she turned tear filled eyes to his.

She jumped when Hiiro threw a fist into the bookshelf he'd been leaning on, and books rained down. His anger could not be contained, it radiaited from him in waves.

"You cannot possibly think we could..." Trowa said quietly.

"Yes." Relena whispered. "I trust you will make the same decision I already have. Usagi needs the last piece of her soul to save this world. And you will give it to her."

"I will not have it." Milliardo stood as he spoke, strongly. "We will find another way."

"Please." Relena whispered, and looked up at her brother, louder this time. "Please brother, don't make this harder than it is. This is the only way." She understood Usagi better now. Understood why it was so easy for her to put her life on the line, time and time again. Because her sacrifice literally meant the world. One life for billions. It was a simple choice, no matter how scary.

"Onna, we will not take your life." Wufei finally spoke. He had taken everything in stride up until now.

She sighed. "I thought you might see it this way." She said. "But none of you have any choice in this, save Quatre." She turned her eyes to the Arabian boy, who looked at her through the lens of his light blue computer visor. "He is the only one who can separate the Ginshinzou from myself."

"Quatre you can't possibly..." Noin started. Quatre cut her off with a raised hand, one that was shaking uncontrollably.

"Leave." He said, and then louder. "Everyone but Relena leave NOW!" Trowa put a hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off quickly, his voice barely contained. "I said now!"

Relena put her head down as the occupants of the room slowly filtered out, jumping when Duo knocked over a table on his way. Hilde was quick to capture his hand from destroying something else. When they were gone, Quatre stood and stepped to her, kneeling before her. His computer was gone. She hadn't seen him put it away.

"They told me I had to find the last piece of her soul." He said, and his voice was broken. "Told me it was up to me and only me. I never would have guessed..."

"Nor would I." Relena answered, and she took his hands in hers, breathing deep, looking down upon him. "This means the world Quatre. You know I would never ask... But it means the world. The world I love...the people I love." Her eyes were filled with tears, but she kept her voice steady with sheer will. "You have to do it."

He searched her eyes, searched her heart. There was a tingling feeling at her fingertips, one she felt occasionally when the blond used his empathic skills. "You are already decided. " He said, and she nodded, quiet. He looked away from her, and then in an instant was upon her, hugging the life out of her, so tight against her she could feel his rapid heartbeat. "I cannot decide now." He said in her ear, and then pulled back, to look her in the eye. "Three days." He said. "Three days and I will make my decision, and no sooner. Until then, I suggest you rest."

And then he let her go, slowly, with careful hands, and walked away. She slumped in the chair of the study, looked at the books that had fallen on the floor, the table Duo had turned over, and cried. Head in her hands, heart in pieces, she cried.

...

The dress was the most comfortable thing she'd ever worn. And though she hated to admit it, she looked lovely in it. It was cut low, showing off more cleavage than she was used to, and trailed on the floor like a wedding dress. The entire thing was dark red, crushed velvet, and hugged every curve to her knees before it flared out. There were red slippers of the same material that went with them, she put them on with shaking hands.

She looked at herself in the large vanity mirror, her eyes threatening to fill with tears. She raised her hands to her neck. His fingerprints still laid there, dark bruises on her pale skin. She pushed the tears away and sighed, settling herself on the vanity chair and taking to brushing out her long midnight black locks.

She missed her friends with all her heart. At the very least she mused, they were still alive. Yes, and though it seemed the distance would break her in two, she was assured by the resolve she had come to. If it took her own life, she would find a way to stop Chaos. Kill him, and save this world and her friends. And Hiiro. Goddess she hoped he'd forgive her. It mattered not, since she'd probably never see him again, but she hoped anyway.

She set the brush down when she felt the presence of another in the room, and without turning, saw Kione in the reflection of her Vanity Mirror. He was smiling.

"You look very pretty my Queen." He said, and bowed. She pursed her lips for patience, and stood.

"I'm not your Queen." She said for the second time. Kione smiled wider. He seemed to enjoy her discomfort. She sighed, brushing at an indiscriminate speck of dust on the lovely dress she wore.

"Chaos requests your company." He said with another bow.

"Does he?" She said, and he voice had become cold at the thought of him. "Lead on Little One." Kione did just so, and the door behind him opened by itself, allowing them to exit into the darkness of the corridor. There was some sort of charm on the door. One that allowed only certain people through it seemed. She'd tried to open it herself not long ago. It hadn't budged even with a push of her powers.

Her steps echoed in the long hall, the swish of her dress dragging along the floor soft, and continuous. At the end of the hallway they came again to the large room that was the place of Chaos' throne. She frowned when she saw another Throne beside it, this one slightly smaller, but decked in the same royal colors.

"Does it please you?" Chaos said with a smile. "I had it made not too long ago, for my lovely Queen."

"I doubt there shall be much that pleases me anymore." Usagi said. "Have you brought me here just to show me this useless chair?" Chaos bristled, but the smile stayed on his face.

"No, that is not all." He said. "Sit." She was overcome by his power suddenly, and like a puppet, though she tried hard to fight it, her legs brought her to the ridiculous throne and sat her down. "Comfy?" He asked, and then laughed. She could not keep the fear from her eyes. She was not strong enough to fight him without the Ginshinzou. Oh how she'd wished it had never left her grasp. "Look..."

Her head turned toward the far, empty wall of the large room under his influence, her eyes widening when a picture appeared. It was the Colony of L4, floating in space. As she watched, the entire colony exploded. Her heart exploded with it. All those people. Gone in an instant.

"Why?" The words came from her mouth in a whisper. He laughed loud. Her fingers clenched the smooth fabric of the Throne arms, so hard her hands hurt.

"Why not, Dear Serenity? These Humans are of no use to me. I'll destroy them as I see fit, and you will watch every agonizing moment. Can you feel them? All those souls crying out? It's music to my ears."

She felt a lone tear trail itself down her cheek. She didn't want to cry in front of him, but this... "You're a monster." She whispered. He laughed again.

"Yes, a beautiful monster." He said, and stood, stepping before her. She stared up at him with horror, and could only do just that as he leaned in and captured her lips in a bruising kiss. Her stomach revolted, but she could not pull away. He held her there, under his power for a moment, biting her lip so hard it bled before pulling away. "That is something even you cannot deny. It amuses me how you detest my very existence, yet your heart beats so fast when I touch you... when my lips meet yours..."

"It would be pointless to tell you that your body is not desirable." Usagi said. "You know it all too well to be true. It is your blackened heart I detest. The blood on your hands."

"And yet you hold so dear those boys. The human killers. That one in particular... what was his name?"

"I belive it was Hiiro, Master." Kione answered in a jubilant eyes darted to him for a moment, though her head did not move. She had forgotten he was there.

"Yes," Chaos said. "Hiiro."

"Do not speak his name!" She said it before she could stop herself, her cheeks flaming with her anger. Chaos laughed.

"You know?" He said. "You are quite beautiful when you are angry." She glared at him with a force she wished fervently could kill him. Hating all the while the emotions he stirred in her. Her perfect opposite, the yin to her yang. He was gorgeous. Everything about him spoke of dark beauty. It had been that way when he had been in Galaxia's body as well. Not that she'd ever had a strong taste for women. His allure was hard to ignore. But she could not forgive him. There was a difference between the blood on Chaos' hands and the blood on Hiiro's. Hiiro fought for good, killed to save. Chaos killed for the pure pleasure he got from it.

He brushed the tear from her cheek, and brought his hand to his mouth, tasting it. She shuddered at his touch. "Your pain tastes lovely." He smiled and put his hand out, waiting for her to take it. When she did not, he pressed his power upon her, and her hand raised of his accord, twining with his. He pulled her to standing, and led her into the darkness of the hallway. As he led her, he spoke. "This is just the beginning. Only the beginning of your pain and my pleasure. I find myself growing more fond of you, now that you are in my presence. Perhaps, after I destroy this world I will keep you. How long do you think your light will shine? As you watch me destroy everything that comes my way?"

She bowed her head, refusing to answer. Perhaps this had been a mistake. She was too weak to fight him. She'd rather have died by her Knights side than suffocate in this cage. "I hope my light fades sooner than later, should that be the case." She said, and he laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

...

It was a slow spiral. Her vision was blurry from the tears, and her eyes were sore and swollen. She was passing back and forth between being completely sure of her decision, and pitying herself for the choice. She knew it was the right one. Knew with this one gesture, this one gift, she could save all of the people she longed to protect. She'd never felt so powerful... or so helpless.

She hiccuped. A culmination of the short breaths she took between the sobs. There were no tears left, only the harsh feeling of sadness in her chest. There was a knock on her door. She knew who it was before it opened. Milliardo. Her wonderful, strong elder brother. She'd been hoping he'd come.

He came to her bedside and she sat up, throwing her arms around him when he sat. "I feel as If I am falling." She whispered. "Endlessly falling."

"You don't have to do this." He said, and his arms were tight around her. She felt rather than holding onto her person, he was holding onto her soul, for dear life, an anchor on stormy seas.

"I do." She said, and pulled away just to look into his eyes. She could not read them. She had never been able to read him very well. "And if Quatre says he won't do it I will find another way. I am terrified Mili." The nickname was one she barely used, and only in private. "But this is the right thing to do."

"We don't even know if Usagi is still alive." Milliardo tried to reason. "To put your life up for just a chance..."

"She is alive." Relena said. "Can't you feel it? We, who are descendants of her in some way, blood. She still sings to me."

"She wouldn't want you to." He had her there. Usagi would never ask her to do such a thing. She knew that.

"No, she wouldn't. But I'm going to do it regardless." She could read his eyes now. They were full of sorrow, of fear, something she'd never seen. It scared her, to a degree. "Please Mili. Don't do this." She grabbed his hands, squeezed them. " I love you, you know that? I always will. I'm doing this to save you too."

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I know." She watched the tear run down his face, and said one last thing before they fell into companionable silence. "I love you little sister."

...

Hiiro was conflicted. More than he had been in a long time. And angry. Seething in fact. He could not quell it. There was no thought that made it so. How could he choose Usagi's life over Relena's? Maybe he didn't love the girl the way she really wanted him to... but he cared for her still. Had promised to protect her. How was he supposed to protect her from this?

And then there was... Usagi. Just thinking the name made his heart hurt. They'd never have been in this predicament if she hadn't given herself up. He wanted to be mad at her for it. Couldn't be. She had done what she had seen fit to save them. He just wished it hadn't had to be this way. He'd rather have gone down fighting by her side than ever release her into the arms of that evil bastard. She knew it. It was why she'd put up the barrier.

It was the first time in a long time he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He punched the wall in his fury, ignoring the pain. He watched in morbid fascination as the small cuts closed, and the bruises healed over. Physical pain was temporary. But this... This feeling in his chest was permanent, suffocating.

...

The emotional turmoil starts. Kill Relena and strengthen the fight? Or fight tooth and nail and hope it's enough? Our boys are unbalanced and teetering off the edge, while Usagi wilts in her prison. What could possibly happen next? Stay tuned to find out. Until next time, Ja, .