Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon or Gundam Wing. But I do own a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Oh wait... nope. I ate it.

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Fuseiseki : Failure

Chapter Eighteen : How to Save a Life

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"How am I supposed to make this decision?" He was speaking to himself. He sat in the gardens of Sanq, at the large fountain he'd come to grow fond of in his stays. He'd not had contact with anyone since Relena had said her piece. Didn't know how to face anyone with this weight on his shoulders. One life to save the world? The decision had been easy before, when it meant taking down the evil to save the good. But taking Relena's life? Could he really do it? She'd already made her decision. But he wasn't so sure.

He'd researched all day on the computer of Mercury. Looking for any other way. There was none. Separating the crystal from Relena's soul would destroy her no matter what he did. He couldn't help thinking if Usagi was here that she'd know a better way. That she'd know what to do.

He cast out what power he had, feeling the sigils of Mercury and Neptune flare to life on his forehead. Searching... He knew where she was. The base Chaos currently inhabited had the strongest focus of dark energy anywhere.. It was in Juuban District, Japan. The very place Usagi had lived so many centuries ago. He didn't peg evil beings for being nostalgic, but it seemed Chaos was comfortable there. He cursed aloud. There was a veil of dark energy that kept him from reaching her. He'd expected as much. He'd tried this several times in the past few hours.

"What would you do Usagi?" He said aloud, to no one, his voice broken. "What would you say?" He sighed. "You'd say not to do it, I'm sure. You'd say we could fight without the crystal, just to save Relena. Allah, I don't know what to do."

He put his head in his hands. Time was running out. There was a sudden pain in his chest, suffocating, choking. When he could breathe, which had only seemed like a moment, he was looking up into Trowa's eyes.

"Oh Allah." He whispered. "That Monster." He cold feel the raw pain from here.

"L4 is gone Quatre." Trowa said quietly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Trowa seemed not to know what words to say. His home was gone...but Quatre knew Catherine was safe...they hadn't much of an attachment to the place anyways. "Please... Go tell the others." Trowa lingered at his side for a moment, and then gave the Arabian man a quick kiss on the forehead, going to do just that. Quatre winced in the darkness of his room, alone again.

It all hurt so bad. The pain was overwhelming, The decisions he was being forced to make were like being physically stabbed in the chest, over and over again. Would it ever end? Would it ever be okay? He didn't know anymore.

...

She touched the bruises on her cheek, her neck, with careful fingers. The skin around them was still angry and red. She smirked at the mirror, a slow progression from the frown she'd had set on her face since she came to this dark place. It had been worth it. She knew Chaos did not want to kill her. She had settled for pissing him off every chance she got. These bruises had been for spitting in his face when he had leaned close enough.

It had been two days since she had been captured, as far as she could count. Time seemed to stop in this place of darkness. She saw only Vega and Kione for meals once a day. Some bread, water. Chaos had told her before he'd marked her with his strong hands, that she looked lovely so skinny. Bastard. But she was taking it well, in stride. She believed the end would come one way or another. Thinking about the means in this situation wasn't worth her time. Her faith kept her from curling into a ball and crying.

Funny, after all the lecturing she'd done, all the worrying, she was satisfied to put the weight of this battle on the shoulders of her Knights. She really did believe in them. Though her very heart and soul wished there was another way, in this situation, they were all this world had left for protection. She wished she could speak to them. There was a heavy fog of interference in this place, that dampened her, made her feel weak all the time. Her heart still hurt at the loss of so many lives while she was trapped, helpless.

Today, Chaos had dressed her in an elegant black gown, the sides open to show her creamy pale skin. This too, flowed like a wedding dress, dragging across the floor as she walked. He seemed to favor this type of gown. She was disgusted at the look of lust in his eyes when she'd seen it on her. She'd die before she'd let him have her.

Her thoughts were interrupted, as they had been at almost every moment she'd been here. She didn't remember sleeping very much. Either Kione, Vega, or Chaos appeared at any given moment to taunt her or drag her somewhere. It was Vega, this time.

"Master requires your presence my Queen." She stood, shaking the skirts of her dress so they wouldn't tangle around her legs as she walked. There was no use arguing. If she did not go with Vega, Chaos would come himself.

The door opened behind the pale girl, and she turned to lead Usagi down the dark hall. "Vega?" Usagi had never addressed the girl before, besides telling her not to call her Queen. She had stopped trying when she realized it was never going to work.

"Yes Mistress?" Usagi frowned, but continued.

"Why do you serve Chaos?"

The girl answered almost mechanically. "Chaos is the Master. The creator and destroyer of all. To serve him is of the highest honor." Usagi's frown grew deeper.

"The highest honor huh?" She said mostly to herself. She was greeted with only silence from the girl that walked ahead of her. "Bullshit."

...

"Quatre?" He had given him space for the past two days mostly because he knew the situation called for it. Not one of them, he knew without asking, could make such a decision. It was breaking his Koi in two. And the pressure was on after the attack on L4. Troops were being sent into space to collect the debris. Soldiers were mobilizing for another attack. It had come out of nowhere, with no warning. Chaos had proved he was a force not to be messed with. When he looked up, he could see the pain in his koi's eyes.

"Trowa." His voice was soft, hoarse, as if he had not used it in quite some time. It was abnormal for the one who usually carried the conversation in a room. It hurt to see him like this. He crossed the space between them, and crushed the unnaturally pale Arabian in his arms. he had missed him in his absence. Worried for the sanctity of his mind. "I've made my decision." He pulled back to look at Quatre, searching his eyes and finding nothing at all to read. It threw him off

"You have another day." He said quietly, still searching for something, anything.

"Another day won't make a difference." Quatre said, still completely unreadable. "Another day won't change my mind. So much has happened already."

"You're sure?" He asked because he wanted him to be. With no way of telling which direction his Koi was heading towards, and no real want to ask, he needed to at least know he was sure.

"I am." He sighed. It was late. The Moon shown down in a tiny crescent from his bedroom window. "Stay with me Trowa? Just for a moment, before I tell you all what is to come." He nodded. He had been hoping he'd ask. He sat on the bed next to him, holding his hand, craving just being in contact with him. Wishing he could help. Knowing there was little he could do but follow blindly.

If he'd had the choice, the burden, he wan't sure what he would do. The soldier in him told him to take Relena's life. The family man in him, the one that Catherine brought out with the love in her eyes, that Quatre brought out with his soft touches and sweet words, said it was impossible to do. He didn't ask what Quatre had decided, just laid back and let the blond curl up on his chest, his breathing slow and steady. Whatever the choice he seemed assured. At peace almost.

"I don't think I will ever believe in tomorrow again." Quatre said. "Usagi is the same way I think. Reckless because there is only this moment to live. You cannot be sure of the next." His voice vibrated in his chest where Trowa could feel it's resonance. It gave nothing away.

"I don't think I ever have." Trowa said, truthfully. "But you're making me think now is the time to start."

Quatre laughed. It was a pitiful mockery of happiness. "Everything has changed so fast. I feel as if we are caught in a fire with no water to put out the flames."

"The best thing to do when you have no water, the only thing, Is let the fire die out itself." Trowa said. Quatre snuggled deeper into his chest,

"Perhaps that's just what I'll do."

...

He'd been agonizing over it for two days. Brooding in his room with nothing to eat and a computer screen before him that held no help. There was no fixing this. The longer Usagi was with Chaos the more he feared for her life. And that fact that saving her meant ending Relena's... it was killing him inside.

So he stood there at her door, his hand paused for a moment before he rapped softly on the wood. When it opened, she stood before him in a beautiful blue sundress. It brought out the color of her eyes. His own softened at her appearance. Hers were red and swollen from crying.

"Hiiro..." She looked surprised.

"May I come in?" She smiled, but it was half-hearted. He adored her strength. It was what made him so fierce when it came to protecting her. He wasn't so stupid that he didn't realize what a gem she was. She just wasn't his gem.

"Of course." She moved to allow him entrance to her room, closing the door softly behind her. When it was closed, he did the thing he'd been wanting to since he'd destroyed the shelf of books. He scooped her up in his arms and held onto her for dear life. A surprised gasp had escaped her lips, but her arms slowly returned the embrace.

"Hiiro...I..."

"Shhhh." He didn't want her to speak. Didn't want to hear anything she had to say. Didn't want it to ruin the moment, to put him off track from what he needed to get out. "I will always love you Relena. Maybe not in the way you'd like me to. But you will always have a place in my heart. You always have. And I want you to know above all else, that if I was in Quatre's position, I couldn't pull the trigger."

He felt her smile into his shirt, felt the tears ebb, warm and wet. "I've always loved you Hiiro. And I always will. I have made my decision to save this world. To save Usagi too. Because I want you all to be happy."

He released her a bit, so he could look down on her, into her tear filled eyes. "Your selflessness is what makes you so amazing."

She smiled, and he saw it this time, and on another plane, in another life, it might have broken his heart. These feelings were still new. He knew only enough to know that if he didn't say what needed to be said, and watched her give her life for his sake, the sake of their world, he would always regret it. "I will miss you Hiiro."

It hurt, to hear her say it in finality. Enough that his next moment was only clouded with the need to show her just how grateful he was. Slowly he bent down, and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Arigatou Relena." He said. And then he spat out what he had been meaning to say most of all. "I won't let you do it." Her eyes froze on his, shifting from a dreamy look to one of confusion. He was sorry for a moment he'd let her believe he was okay with her decision. He would not let her die. There had to be another way. Usagi would forgive him. It's what Usagi would do. "I meant what I said. I will always protect you. Even from yourself."

She broke from his grasp, and looked down. "Arigatou Hiiro." She whispered. "If it is alright, I would like to be alone now." He nodded, because he wasn't sure what else to say, how to continue. He watched her sit on her canopy bed, turning to open the door for himself. As he shut it, he could not help feeling something was horribly and terribly wrong.

...

Wufei was nervous. It was something he couldn't remember feeling in quite awhile. He stood next to the chair that Sally sat in. Everyone was present. A day early, Quatre had announced he had made his decision, and they should all meet in the study to find out what he had decided. It made sense. He felt bad for the Arabian however. Chaos' actions had made it hard for him to wait any longer on this.

Relena looked like a porcelain doll. She was dressed in a lovely blue sundress, her make-up done. Strange, she never usually wore her make-up here with them. Pale and quiet, she was wringing her hands. This made him nervous too. He'd never seen her like this, slouched over, drawn in. She was a regal, strong woman, one he of all people, was proud to know. It was Injustice to see her so weak looking.

It wasn't right. He'd though a lot about it in the past few days. And still, even though it meant the world, he could not accept taking Relena's life. If Quatre tried... he was undecided as of yet to how he would stop him. He quieted when the Blond finally opened his mouth.

"I'm going to make this simple." Quatre said, and his eyes turned to Relena. "I won't do it." There was a collective sigh through the room. Wufei heard his own released breath, loud in his ears. He hadn't realized he'd been holding it. They were all relieved. It solidified why he stayed around these people. They fought for good, but they were not murderers. They were all more than willing to fight their hardest to keep Relena alive.

"Quatre." Relena's voice was soft, resigned. "I'm sorry you see it that way." She stood, and Wufei tensed with the rest of the occupants of the room just because they sensed what was about to happen. She raised a gun from seemingly nowhere, and laid it to her right temple. "I love you all." She turned her eyes to Quatre, tears were running down her face. "You will do what you must, all of you will, and so will I." She turned her eyes to Hiiro's last. And then she pulled the trigger.

He could hear himself screaming. But wasn't sure if it had been words, or just animalistic noises. Hiiro was at her side first, but the blood, bone, and brain matter told a story all their own. She was gone. Relena had taken her own life in lieu of Quatre's decision. Oh, what a clever, sefless angel she was. What a heartbreaking fool.

He watched Hiiro looking down on her, his eyes dark and cold. He heard the sobs that escaped from Sally, Catherine, and Hilde. Listened mutely to the voices of Milliardo, calling for a doctor, for anyone. Heard his own heartbeat, so loud it was a scream in itself, There were no more words. It didn't matter. Relena Darlian Peacecraft was Dead.

...

Wow. What a cliffie! I have to be honest, when I was writing this chapter, I had no idea what direction it was going in. I knew I wanted to connect Relena and Usagi by blood, and that Relena should be the carrier of the crystal, but beyond that, all of this just flew off the top of my head. I hope you all understand why it's progressing so fast. It went from Quatre's job, to something Queen Selenity brought out in the open. I like to keep it fresh, so the storyline keeps changing. Relena Darlian is Dead! I hope no one is too mad. She did what she fully believed was necessary. She really is a strong character with a good heart. It's why she and Usagi being related is so believable. In the next chapter, find out what Quatre has to do to procure the crystal, and how Usagi is faring in Chaos' hands. Remember to review! Ja,