20:

This is the start of something big.

The picture, although entirely confusing, has given me newfound motivation to continue searching for the truth. It's been hidden away for so long, and I've only just started looking. But I'm ready, though. I'm ready for whatever I'm going to find out.
I've spent the last couple days outlining what I already know, and possible places I should probably start.

I know only a few things right now. 1.5 is our mother, and she got pregnant with us the night of, or very shortly after, our dad's birthday. She seemed to have a strange pregnancy too, which there's not much I can draw from that for right now. I just don't have enough to pull from to get any farther. I want to ask 30 about it more, but something's telling me he's still really attached to her in some way. I don't want to overwork him. he could be more emotionally fragile than I always seemed to have thought. I think I just really want the satisfaction of figuring this out myself.

I'm actually very worried about 30. I think he was close to mom, and even loved her at some point. Maybe he was just never able to tell her how he felt. I suppose it's a possibility that we'll find out someday. He's been a lot more honest about it recently, so who knows what kind of information I might have... in a year? A month? Maybe a week? Maybe today. Who really knows?

I begin my search, just checking any possible databases to start. I will look everywhere I can. No archives, medical files, history texts, or even picture books will go untouched. No information is safe from my hands, eyes, or mind. I can do this. If I can, I will approach each of my caregivers and older friends about it. I will scavenge any information I can.

In the past, I just accepted that the world was cruel, and that bad things happened - so I just believed that my parents could be anybody, dead or alive. But always hearing about the fallen leader of Romulus, and then 30 admitting that we came from her... something just hit me that day. It lit this angry, determined fire inside of me, and now it won't go out.
Fifty percent of the mystery is already solved. I think that's where I got the motivation to start searching for answers. The past of my sister and I, as well as that of our forbearers, is hidden, shrouded in mystery for all except those who might have been there. I just can barely imagine it. What could have happened? How bad, or what even could have been so bizarre that it landed my sister and I (and even my caretakers, friends of my mother) in such a dump of a situation?
Despite all these unanswered questions, I am going to search, no matter how long it takes me. I swear on every important thing to me that I will get to get to the bottom of this. I'll look through anything. I will do whatever I can so that this unsolved mystery stops eating away at me. Nothing is going to stop me from figuring this out. I will be bothered, I will get anxious, I will toss and turn when I sleep at night until I can find the truth.

I start my journey in the library, assuming my regular position at my desk. I start with the archives from a few years ago. Mom is one of the first names listed, because of her number, presumably, either that or because she was an authority figure. Oh, I just want to know what she was like. I wonder about it almost every day. I start reading the record, which is just her basic information - number, sex, height, and such. But then, under medical notes, something catches my eye. There's a scribble written down an sloppy black ink that she has fertility problems and is unable to get pregnant. Huh, that's... odd. I put the file down on my desk for a second, exhaling and trying to keep my confusion levels at a stable place. I put my face in my hands.

All of a sudden, I jump when I her footsteps near me. I was too focused, and or overwhelmed by this conflicting information I seem to have found. I recollect myself and look up, and 26 is there, standing not too far away. OH MY GOD. I start to panic when I look at his smile.

"H-hi, what can I do for you?"
"Here's your book back. Thanks for it, it was pretty helpful." he smiles and I'm pretty sure that a piece of my heart chips off.
"Oh, don't thank me, thank the person who wrote it." I chuckle.
"Ha, well, you know what I mean."
"I do. Anything else I can help you with? Do you need another book?"
"No, I'm good for right now." He looks at me and pauses. "Hey, are you alright? You seem pretty stressed. Maybe I'm not the only one who needs some time away from books."
"Hah, maybe I do. I've just got some stuff on my mind, that's all. But I certainly won't bore you with all of THAT."
"Oh, don't worry about it. You look like you could use a break. If you're up for it, you should come hang out with me and my friends sometime, if you're cool with that. You're 45's sister, right?"
"Yeah, she's my sister. And..." Oh my god, I'm so nervous I'm having chest pains. "...sure. I'll hang out soon, whenever is fine with me."
He returns a friendly grin, and invites me to come get together for a game of sorts, in just a few days. I tell him that'll work, and he says he'll see me then. He leaves, and I just happily panic in my chair for a little bit. This can't go bad. He means well... my sister will be there... it'll be fun.

I'm so excited and terrified for the coming future. But I don't think I should overwork my heart just yet.

25:

Seneca Falls is such a dump. Romulus is barely better, mostly just because there's more people. The people of Romulus all very good-hearted and stable, but once again, I'm back in the situation in which I don't fit in. I know I can very blunt, and that I always try to get what I want... I guess that's just not our way here. I think I used to be worse, to be honest. I had wanted 1.5 so bad that I just became so rude, but now that she's dead, I think I see much more clearly. While I've upheld most of my views, I don't think I have as much of an edge as I used to. Yes, I still consider myself an angry, overconfident person, but I'm staying that way because a part of me still really likes who I am. I guess I just wanted things to go according to plan. I miss 1.5, though we did not get along. I really don't all the details on how she died, all I know is that she got stabbed one morning and they couldn't stop her bleeding fast enough to save her. They tried for the whole day, but it just didn't work. I remember sitting in one of the work rooms with V and the others until one in the morning. I was so impatient, and the others were mad, but it was just because I really wanted to know if she lived. Even though I couldn't have her, I did want her to be alive.
But, there was one thing I had a grudge about. 30. Those two have been together since goddamn day one. I had a jealousy towards him, and even though I basically hated the guy, I hoped he'd treat 1.5 right and keep her safe. But now, now I'm mad because he didn't. He let her die, I know he did. The world's not the same without her, and it's all his fault. I know he tried to save her, but maybe he just wasn't fast enough. If it were me, I would have stopped at nothing until she was breathing again. That's why I'm mad. He quit. He made promises he'd be there for her and never let her go. But things just didn't work out, and now she's gone forever. I yelled at him after I found out that she died, promising I'd get him for this. He brushed me off but I think that he'll regret it. I wasn't bluffing when I told him I'd get revenge, I just don't know what to hurt him with, because the one thing he loved is gone. I think maybe I've just been thinking both too much and too little recently.

I spent the last few months back in Seneca Falls, because I just wasn't having a good time in Romulus. I've been feeling left out, so I just figured I'd step away.
Barely anything has changed there. They're still just doing their thing they were doing before we left, and even before that. Their lives must be so boring - I don't even know how they live like that.
The only things I've really noticed is that both Doctor V and Doctor S's hair are much longer than the last time we were all there. Doctor S also seems a lot closer to Doctor H. Those two should probably get back together already and just get it over with. Even when I was there last time, it was so easy to see that there was something going on between them. I don't really care all that much, but I hope they figure something out soon, because there's so much tension between them. Sometimes it's hard to be around them because you can feel it. It's weird, but we're all pretty weird I guess.

There are days where I'm considering just putting all of this behind me, moving to a different clan, like the one in Rochester. I heard it's pretty interesting there - lots of unique personalities, very musical people too, I've heard. Eh, who knows, and who really cares anyway. Maybe I should forget about 30 and 1.5 and everyone else. There's barely even a point in getting revenge.

That night, I go far a walk, feeling emotionally exhausted by all the things I don't ever talk about. I think all of my anger is seeping out of me slowly, and I don't know whether that's a good or bad thing. I stand out in the fields, and just close my eyes, letting the cold breeze brush against my jacket. When I reopen my eyes, I look up to see the northern lights, not faint, but not bright either. I can just barely see the colors reflecting on the snow. I see a bright pink one in the distance, but as it lights up the sky, I see something else on the ground. I step closer, the snow crunching under my boots. I squint so I can see whatever it is better.

There they are. Two figures on a blanket, cuddling and kissing. Ew. Well, I suppose they think they're alone, considering no one's ever out here. I'll give them a break. I try to identify the figures when a blue wave crosses the sky, but one has a black jacket and hood on. The other has a giant patch on his face, but that's all I can really make of him. He's a big guy - really tall, with broad shoulders. I hear him say something, and then chuckle. The realization hits me - it's 30... with a girl. Maybe he's finally moved on? Or he's using the girl to try and fill the emptiness in his heart?

"You know how much I love you, right?" she says to him. My shoulders go numb when I hear the voice. It's been... about three years since I heard it. It... it can't be. She's DEAD.

A yellow wave goes by as he pulls her hood down a bit so he can kiss her. My eyes widen when I see her face, then I just run. I go far away, and in my anger, I hide.

I saw her, I know I did. Nobody can tell me that I didn't. Is this all a goddamn lie? I knew I could never trust him, I knew it! But... her too... She lied! She lied to us all! We've all sitting here crying and remembering her tragic loss each year, while meanwhile, she hides out from society and bangs her stupid fucking boyfriend whenever she wants! Those selfish, careless pieces of shit!

I was wrong to try and get rid of my anger. They're both here, so I guess it's time. I'm too mad. I know what I have to do now.

20:

It's been about two weeks, and my research has gotten me barely anywhere. It's sooner than I thought that I'd hit a dead end, and to be honest, it's bugging me WAY more than it should. I just... I have so little information, and I can't pull much from what I have. Everything is inconclusive, and I just want to know so bad. I want to look harder, but I know that I probably won't find much. I just feel so stuck. I decide to put all my work away for now and maybe just take a break. I decide to leave the library for the day, and maybe just go for a walk or relax or something. I just put on my jacket and leave a note on my desk, explaining that I've left for the day.
I head down the street, just minding my own business. I see 21, a good friend of mine, leaving her parents' house, and we talk for a few minutes. She asks me if the library's still open, even if I'm not in there. I tell her that it's open. She asks me if I know where she can find a book on biology, so I give her the section too. I think it's sad that I'm in the library so much that I have the sections memorized. I really need to get out more. 21 thanks me, and heads off in the other direction. I get close to home, and pass the corner that the mechanic's shop is on. 26 works there, and just as I remember that, I see him leaning against the wall outside, trying to pry some kind of box open with a screwdriver. He looks up as I'm walking, and I wave when he sees me. He smiles and gestures for me to come say hello. I cross the street carefully, and greet him.
"Hey, what's up?" he asks. "How are things?"
"Oh, they're fine. How are you?"
"I'm going pretty good, just taking a break... sort of." he laughs, still trying to pry the metal box open.
"So, what's that box?"
"My boss said it's filled with wires. He pulled it out of some old clock or something. I've been trying to open this thing for probably twenty minutes now, but one side is like, welded shut."
"That's... weird." I say, smiling a teeny bit.
"I'm considering smacking it on the ground or on some rocks a few times. I think that might be my only hope."
"Hah, maybe."
"I'm going to the fields. We never got a chance to hang out, so you want to come with me?" he asks.
My hands shake a little, and my chest feels all nervous and tingly, but I say yes. He grabs his tool belt, and we walk westwards out of town together.

"So, I hope this is cool with you." he says calmly.
"Yeah, it's totally fine."
"Alright, awesome. I was just checking, because your sister said you're on the quieter side. I mean, I hope one-on-one isn't awkward or anything."
Oh, god... I can't imagine all the things 45's probably told him about me. Probably plenty of embarrassing things too... ugh, great.
"No, no, I'm all good. 45 thinks I don't ever go out at all."
"I initially figured you'd be more comfortable with a group of friends, so I'm sorry that didn't work out as planned." he chuckles. "Your sister talks about you a lot, but I figured I'd actually get to know you just in case she decides to embellish anything."
I shrug.
"Thanks, that actually means a lot. I'm cool with anything, it's just nice to be out of the library and hanging out with somebody new, I suppose."
"Yeah, it's nice."

We get out into the fields, where there's a bunch of rocks clustered together. 26 starts laughing and running towards the rocks.
"Are you ready for this?"
He jumps and chucks the box at one of the large stones, but it doesn't break open. Once it falls into the grass, he picks it up, only to see that there's now just a giant dent in the side of it.
"Well, shit." he jokes.
"Have you tried any of the tools you brought with you, other than the screwdriver?"
"Nah, but let's try it!"

He's goofy... but I like it. He means well but he's never too serious. Seeing him laugh and stuff makes me feel a lot better than I did, and it distracts me from the dead end I've been stuck on. 26 is a nice guy. I don't feel so bad for liking him now.

We spend almost forty minutes trying various methods to get the box open, when finally the side pops open from hitting it repeatedly with a wrench. Wires and metal bits spill out onto the rock we were sitting on, and they kind of just initially explode out. We just look at each other and bust up laughing, and I'm not really why... but it felt really nice.

I return to my library the next morning, feeling a lot better than I did yesterday. It felt excellent to step away from all of this for a few hours, and talk to someone I really like. I feel really refreshed, and my mind feels energized, so maybe if I'm really feeling it today, I can make some progress. I put my bag down at my desk, and take off my jacket. I sit, trying to do some paperwork, and to not look at the small folder of the information I've collected so far. For only a few minutes, I'm able to avoid it before I just start staring again.

It's gotten me nowhere. All I've done is stare at it, so... I've decided to leave it alone for a few weeks. Maybe if I put all my work down for a while, it'll just come to me. I mean, I hope it does, but there's no way I can ever really know. I guess I all I can do is keep hoping.

20:

I swear to god I'll find it. I'll get to the bottom of this no matter how long it ends up taking me. I'm currently in a dead end, so I've decided to put it down for a bit. It's driving me nuts, but I think it's for the better that I don't touch it right now. I've just tried to distract myself otherwise - by burying myself in books, hanging out with 26 and his friends (one of them being my sister), and taking frequent breaks and naps. Basically, just not being in the library or near my research. It's too tempting to work on, and it's not getting me anywhere.
I've made so little progress, but I think I'm due for a break, considering I found out so much at once. I had fooled myself into thinking that the initial pace of my findings would represent the whole scenario in which I find my father, but I clearly see now that I am wrong. I'm almost glad that I'm taking a break from this. I've had plenty of time to make some new friends and try some new things. It's really helped me, and I feel a lot more refreshed now that I've stepped away. I feel a lot mentally sharper, and I'm sure that'll help me once I decide to return to my work.
There is only one thing that's crossed my mind - one person... one suspicion that I think I have. I saw one of my caretakers a few hours ago. His name is 28. He has big eyes and a ton of patches on his arms. I heard he was also really close to mom, so... maybe I should look into that more? It's really strange to think about. 28... could be our dad. Is that weird?
Eh, I need to forget about this for a little while. I told myself I wasn't going to think about it, so I'm not going to. What I am going to do, though, is take some time to relax and enjoy other things, and I'm sure I'll return to my work when the time is right.

1.5:

"How do you feel?" 2 asks me. I sit on the couch, really wound up internally. I feel like I need to get something out of my system, and I have no idea why I feel this way.
"I feel fine, not weak or anything. I've been a lot better recently."
"Well, that's great. I know you felt a little run down last time we met."
"Yeah. It was bad. I was starting to get worried." I fiddle with my fingers nervously.
"Well, you're alright now, and it was all resolved." he pauses, smiling a little. "So, if you don't mind, I'm going to get some things ready for your physical."
"Alrighty, 2." I laugh. "I'll be here, that's for sure."

I didn't feel good a few months ago, and I really thought I somehow managed to get pregnant again. 2 checked me out, and it turns out it was just a false alarm. My blood pressure had just gotten a little low, so it was messing with me, but it's all normal now, and nothing has really changed since then. But... the weirdest thing happened to me that day, and I still really don't know how I should feel about it. It was like deja vu, sitting down, talking to 2, nervously awaiting whether or not I'd be expecting a baby. I was scared, and maybe even a little disappointed in myself for not thinking of the consequences. I think 30 and I just get a little caught up sometimes, I guess. Just being with him is really great, and I doubt that we really ever think about what could end up as a result (although it'd be incredibly rare). All my results that day came back negative, and that's where it became strange for me. When I found out that I wasn't pregnant, I was actually... disappointed. I think I actually wanted that to happen. I don't know why, considering how horribly it went last time. I doubt anyone would ever even think about having a baby after a situation like that.
I just don't understand why I felt the way I did. It still bothers me whenever I think about it, and when I'm alone, sometimes I feel empty, so I rub my stomach as if I were with child because it makes me feel safe for some reason. If anything's wrong with me, I think at this point, it's my head.
2 performs the exam, doing everything he normally does. He starts out just asking me about any pains or weird symptoms I might be having. I tell him I've been fine. Then he checks me over for any marks on me or any physical abnormalities. He checks the tenderness of my abdomen, and listens to my heart and lungs. Lastly, he takes my blood pressure (and a sample), and a few measurements.
He's about to finish up, and then he looks at his clipboard and stops.
"Oh, woopsies, I missed a question! It must be these old eyes." he jokes a little. "You haven't had any surgeries since the last time I saw you, right?"
"Oh, no I haven't. Last thing I got done was the pelvic reinforcement - it was put in when I had the twins."
"Right. It's a good thing that you have that, dear. Say, if you did come to me and find out you were pregnant, you'd be fine because of the reinforcement. That metal's so strong, nothing could ever happen to you."
Okay, okay, hooooooold the phone.
"Wait, huh?"
"Yeah, if you had another baby, you'd be absolutely fine."
"Oh... wow."
"Modern medicine is an amazing thing, isn't it?"
My heartbeat starts to speed up. I imagine what I felt like when I was pregnant... and I miss the feeling. Never in my life did I think I'd be saying this... but I think I'd like to be pregnant again. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right. I want to have another baby. I let it soak in in my head.
"Yeah, 2." I respond quietly. "It really is."

20:

I think I've got it! Well, um... I mean, I'm confident, but I think there's a lot more mystery than I can understand right now. So... I've come to an interesting idea about all of this. It'll probably add to the confusion, but if I get it right, then everything will make sense.
I've come to believe that in order to keep us safe, there's probably a big lie or two involved in our story. If I can figure out what it is, that'll help 45 and I immensely.
Once again, I take the paper outlining everything I know so far and I wonder if any of what I already know is false. My head starts to hurt from how much work this is going to be. I take my books up to my little library nook, a small balcony with chairs, couches, and tapestries. It's been a pretty slow day, so maybe I'll work and even take a nap up there or something. I climb the ladder and put all my things down on the coffee table, and then, of course, I hear the door open. I look over the side, to see 30 and 45 entering, and 30 laughing hysterically at something.
They both look around once they see I'm not in my usual spot.
"Hey, 20! Where the hell are you at?" I hear 45's voice echo through the front hall.
"I'm up here!" I wave my arm so they both can see me.
They climb the ladder and have a seat. I sit on the couch, and 45 flops onto it, making me flinch. 30 sits down in the chair across from us.

"Whatcha doing?" 45 asks, sticking her foot in my face. I remove her foot from my personal bubble and give her a look, and say I've been looking more into mom's history and stuff, and that's just been giving me a little trouble recently.
"I'm just a little stuck, but I'm sure I'll figure it out." I tell them.
"Yeah, I bet you'll find out the truth sooner or later." he gives me a sympathetic smile, almost as if he were sorry for something.
"You know, considering we're having so much trouble figuring out who our dad is, maybe we can just conclude that mom was a bit of a hoebag and leave it at that."
I nod a little, but mostly try not to laugh about how 45 just delivered the word 'hoebag.' 30's eyes go wide, and his expression turns to one of disapproval.
"Oh, nononono! Your mom was NOT like that. Like, ever. She just... made a bit of a mistake, I guess." 30 stutters. I want to laugh at this too but I just keep watching them talking.
"That's the most virginal-sounding thing I've ever heard you say, dude." 45 smiles condescendingly.
"Thank you, but in truth, it's something I'm far from." he jokes.
"Woah, dude! What?! Do you have a girlfriend you haven't told us about?"
"Oh, no. I don't."
"Who the hell were you banging then? How many V cards have you stolen?" She cocks her brow, smirking.
"It's... a long story. And just one, if you really needed to know that."
"Welp, I've got all day to listen. So, spill the beans, broseph."
I kind of just look to him and shrug.
"Alright... well, this is some sensitive material and you two are probably going to be totally disgusted by the end of this."
"Hah, try me." 45 says, lounging back onto the couch.
"Soooooo... uh, back in the day, I guess you could call it, even though it was only a few years ago... I was... dating your mom."
"YOU FUCKED OUR MOM?" 45 screams, flinging her arms in the air.
"Wow, okay, let me tell the story. It's a lot more complicated than that." 30 scratches his head and gives us an embarrassed smile.
"OH SHIT! THE PLOT HAS DEEPENED, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" 45 keeps shouting.
"We got together just a couple of weeks after meeting. Not much was really going on... things didn't get very serious for few months. We were mostly just trying to survive, and we promised each other that once all the fighting was over, we'd actually really get into the relationship."
"Well, how'd that go?" 45 asks.
"It went great. I mean, we were together for a long time, almost four years I believe. I wish I married her before she passed away... but things just didn't work out."
"Wait, what happened?" I ask. What if 30 is our father?
"We split."
"Why?"
"I wanted to have kids. But, she couldn't get pregnant, and she just felt really pressured, I guess. I loved her no matter what, but we decided to go our separate ways. She left a few days after my birthday. Soon enough she found another guy, but I never really knew him. After a few weeks she found out she was having you guys."
"Wow, karma's a bitch, huh?" 45 says.
"Both me and your father were sent out on missions, right before your mom found out. I was kidnapped, and your father disappeared on whatever mission he was on."
"Oh, god..." I mumble. (This IS some helpful information, though.)
"With the help of a few friends, and your mother, I was able to escape. 1.5 accepted that the guy she had slept with had died, and admitted that she had never stopped loving me. We decided to get back together, and I promised her that when she had the baby, I'd raise it and treat it as if it were my own. Like, when I say I really loved your mother, I really, really, loved her. I would do absolutely anything for her. I wish she was here, she'd be so proud of you both."
"I'm sure..." I say quietly.
"I... was always afraid she'd pass away. Her body wasn't meant to have kids, and things just went downhill during the birth. She... only made it for a few minutes after you guys were born. She got the chance to hold you both, and sing to you before she started to fade away."
"You must be so hurt..." I say quietly. A part of me feels guilty for being the reason she's gone.
"It was the most awful thing in the world... but I try to remember all of the good memories. I try to do what she would have wanted."
"That's... actually wonderful that you're trying." I tell him.
"Thank you... I miss her every day, but I have you guys. You both look so much like her, and it's so comforting."
"I mean, we see you as a fatherly figure anyway. It's funny to think that you would have been even if things were different." 45 murmurs.
"Well, I'll always care about you guys no matter what."

That night, I narrow down who our father could be. It's either 28, the unknown mystery man that 30 mentioned, or... just 30. Of course that helps, but there's just so much. I try lining things up again but I just end up feeling frustrated, and emotionally overwhelmed from what I heard today. I just end up going home and going to sleep. I feel like I'm desperate to really know the truth... and honestly, I am so, so tired.

1.5:

The undergrounds are quiet. I took a nap on the couch after talking with 2 because I just wanted to sleep on my thoughts, to see if I still felt the same when I woke up. It's... a big decision, and I still have to ask 30 about it. I mean, I doubt he'll say no, but I just want to discuss it with him anyway. I think that I also just really want to hear his voice. Since I talked to 2, I've been feeling very attached and "hug-y," which is weird. I just can't wait for him to come home... I saw him this morning but for some reason I just miss him ridiculously (maybe it's just because I want to talk to him about this baby thing). This came up so suddenly, but if 2 was right about being able to do this again, I really, and surprisingly, don't want to object.
Just a few moments after I wake up, I hear a door squeak open, so I pull my blankets off of me and get up from the couch. I stand up slowly, looking around. I brush some dust off of me and run my fingers through my hair a little, trying to fix it a little after laying on it.
Through the doorway on my right, I see 30 standing on the opposite side of the room, taking off his cufflinks and removing his jacket as he usually does whenever he gets home. I just look at his face… he just has this radiant look of happiness in he eyes, and of course, a big grin slapped across his lips.
I open the door to our bedroom, stretching out as I enter. He glances over at me when he hears footsteps coming towards him.
"Well, hello there." he says, still smiling happily.
"Hey yourself."
I walk up to him slowly and slip under him arm. After what I just figured, out I kind of just want to be close to him. He returns the hug and rubs my back a little. I just shut the world out while he's close to me.
"I love you, 30... so, so much."
"I love you too, you know that. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, just feeling super attached today."
"Well, that's fine by me. Be as attached as you want." he jokes. He brushes the hair out of my face and kisses me. "Your affection is always welcome."
I just smile, not knowing what to say.
"So, how the appointment with 2 go? Is everything looking okay?"
"Yeah, everything is good - no issues whatsoever." I tell him.
"Well, that's great!" he says. He looks at himself in the mirror again, scratching at something on his face. He just ignores it after a few seconds. "You look like you've got something on your mind - just saying. If you need to talk to me, just say so. You know I'll always be here for you no matter what happens.
"Yeah, I... need to talk to you about something." I say, scared to make eye contact.
"Well alright." he turns to look at me. "Are you okay? Is something going on?"
"No, no. Everything is fine, I just finally had a realization today...and... I just wanted to ask you something a-about... your opinions." I rub my face out of worry.
"Opinons? On... what, exactly?" He looks a little bit concerned.
"Like... um, if we were to ever have another baby."
He pauses, trying not to smile.
"Are you pregnant?" He steps a little closer, almost ready to give me a big, excited hug.
"Oh, no, I'm not. But when I was with 2 today, we just did the regular exam, and then he went on telling me about the reinforcements they fixed me up with back when I had the twins. He said they were holding up great, and that they're strong enough for me to have another baby if I wanted to, without anything horrible happening. And when he said it... it just sounded so nice. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I just think of it and it makes me feel so... secure."
"Wow." he says, smiling big. "I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Yeah, I really couldn't believe I was thinking it."
He just stays quiet for a few moments. Grinning, thinking.
"You... you really are a trooper. After all the bad things that happened, I can't believe you still want this. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, I swear - I'm actually overjoyed that you've been thinking about it."
"Yeah, it came on quick. I've had this weird feeling for almost a year now, and I never knew what it was. A couple of months back, when we thought I might be pregnant, I was almost excited... and then we found out that I wasn't, and I got really disappointed. And today, when 2 said I could have another baby, realized what that feeling was."
"In truth, I was on board a few months back. I wouldn't have been upset at all if you found out you were." he says, with some sympathy.
"So..." I look at him sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck.
"You say it first. I want to hear you say it." he crosses his arms jokingly.
"I... want to have another baby." My shoulders feel a lot lighter once the words come out, and an almost embarrassingly large smile appears on my face.
He smiles too, and seems like he's trying not to laugh from how happy he is.
"What about you? Is that something you'd be okay with?" I ask.
"As long as you're safe, I wouldn't mind it one bit."
He hugs me really tight, lifting me off my feet. I start laughing, and he spins me around until he starts to get dizzy.
Something's changed, but it's the good kind. I close my eyes and start looking forward to what'll be a good future ahead of us.

Nove:

It's safe to say that I'm content with my life at the moment. I have a nice place to live, and I've got a solid group of friends. I'm not really even an adult yet, and things are going quite well for me.
I've been in Romulus for several years now, since I was able to escape the prison in Waterloo village (with the help of 30). I was welcomed warmly into town, and despite my unique appearance, I feel that I fit in nicely. There's so many types of people in Romulus, it'd be hard not to find any others with similar interests. I find myself slightly on the quieter side, but there's plenty of others like that. Off the top of my head, 20 and 21 are pretty similar to me, 20 especially. We're both readers, I guess you could say. I grew up with it, and I'm assuming 20 did as well. My mother would read to me nearly every evening, and it's still a really large part of my life. I reminisce for a moment.
My mother had such a sweet voice. It was soft and gentle, and I always felt warm and comfortable whenever she spoke. Just having her hold me and tell me everything would be okay made me feel at ease after a long day. My mom was just the best. Everything about her was so secure. I don't know what my life would be like if she was not present in it. She had hair that was smooth and chestnut brown. Her skin was soft, and she always dressed herself in light greys or whites. And although she was gentle, she was not fragile. Make no mistake, she was perfectly capable of defending herself. She had good strategy, and I think I picked up some of those skills from watching her. I've learned so much from my mother, and to this day, it's all still relevant to me.

I know my mother so well... but... my father is a different story. The twins and I are in the same boat, as far as I am aware. The difference is that I'm not sure whether my father even knows I exist. On the contrary, 45 and 20's father, 30, is perfectly aware of their existence. But it's very weird because they don't know that 30 is their father. He's gone out of his way to not tell them. Sometimes that makes it hard for me to talk to them, and a few of our other friends feel the same way. We actively talk to all of them but somedays it's hard to keep up with what's basically a trick at this point in time. I don't like to lie to anyone, especially my friends or anyone who trusts me. I'm not a rude person, and I don't want to hurt anybody. I mean, I've got my own things to figure out right now... but I hope 30 tells them the truth soon. There is no reason to continue making things so difficult. It would be nice for them to actually get to be a family and to have everything to be okay.

45 and 20 have started searching for their father, when in fact, they're speaking to him nearly every day. I feel very bothered that he'd do that to his own children. 30 is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but it just doesn't seem quite right to me. I know he just wants to keep them safe, and I'm sure he was really affected by their birth... I know he just wants the best for them, but isn't there any other way?

That mess of a situation leaves me with questions of my own. Where even is my father? There's just so much that I don't understand. I just think about how great my own mother was, and I wonder why my father never married her. I just wish I knew what happened. It frustrates me more than I show it. I hope, for my own sake, and that of 45 and 20, that we'll all be able to find the truth.

I turn the page of my book and sigh. I've just been here, rereading an old favorite of mine by Agatha Christie. I'm glad I can just sit here and enjoy this. I live in a small home near the town center. It has mostly floral wallpapers, and the furniture all came from a dollhouse found during the initial construction of Romulus. All of the pieces were refurbished and polished. My home here is one of the only places that's decorated this way, and truthfully, that makes me feel very special - as though it's all distinctly mine, and there's nothing else quite like it.
I just lie there on my bed for a few moments, not reading, just... staring. I look at my arms, also distinct and unique from the rest of society. I just think about the twins and all of the crazy, but yet still calm, social problems that appear to be swirling around and haunting my group of friends as if it were some kind of angry spirit. I must say, when I speak to my friends, it really is an elephant in the room. I just want them to know. But, I want the truth for myself, too. I have my own father to find. We all have stuff to figure out, I guess.
I've decided that I'll start searching too. There's no reason to keep wasting time. We've all got our thing, our one big problem, and we all just have to get to the bottom of it. 30 has to admit the truth, or 45 and 20 have to figure it out. I have to find my own father, too. There's just so much left now to figure out... so many issues to resolve... so many truths to uncover. Seems it's about time we all set off on our own missions.

TO BE CONTINUED