Captain's Personal Log: Crescent Nebula, Tasale System, Ilium

Part IV: The Justicar

I approached the long-legged Justicar warily. She was perched serenely on the low wall behind Detective Anaya's desk, glowing blue. "I've got the name of the ship. Your fugitive left here two days ago on the AML Demeter."

The asari opened her eyes. "Shepard. You impress me. You fulfilled your part of the bargain and I will fulfill mine." She unfolded herself and hopped down from the wall. I took a step back, away from her and backed into Thane whose hands went around my waist to keep me from backing up further into him. Was it my imagination or did he keep them there a little too long? It was my imagination. I just met the guy. The asari turned to the detective, "I am ready to leave immediately, if that will satisfy your superiors, Detective." The cop indicated her assent.

After I told Samara to meet us on board the Normandy, she shook her head. "I must be sworn to your service so that I am never forced to choose between your orders and the Code."

I looked at her skeptically. I wasn't completely ignorant when it came to alien cultures, but Justicars were a mystery. I wasn't all that keen on mysteries. Something weird happened to the Justicar's eyes as she looked at me, almost as if they turned inside out. She then knelt with one knee on the floor and bowed her head, her arms held stiffly toward the ground. The officer stood up and I heard the boots of the two men come up beside me to see better. With her face aimed toward the floor, Samara recited, "By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code." Her biotics flared so strongly I felt the vibrations in my bones and I stepped back again. Thane shook his head as if to clear it of something. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I had a feeling it was unprecedented.

Samara stood up and the blue glow surrounding her went back to normal Detective Anaya, her voice awed, said, "I never thought I'd see a Justicar swear an oath like that."

It was the Justicar's who held my attention, however. Her chin raised proudly, she looked at me and pronounced, "If you make me do anything extremely dishonorable, I may need to kill you when I am released from my oath."

I blinked. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, sister. I'll see you back on my ship."

I'd had to kill half the Eclipse on Illium to get the Justicar to join us, but since I seemed to be making a hobby out of slaughtering mercs, it wasn't too much trouble. She'd ensconced herself in the Starboard Observation deck, thereby guaranteeing I wouldn't be visiting her too often. Something about that wide open window into the depths of space gave me vertigo and far too many flashbacks of being spaced.

I'd gotten a message that there were two more team members to pick up. Somehow, Cerberus managed to buy the services of the best thief in Citadel space and some old warhorse mercenary out on Omega. I wasn't looking forward to going back there. Neither was Garrus, I'd guess. But Donnally down in engineering needed some discontinued part that could only be found there.

However, I also had a few other urgent errands to run for my current masters. Have I mentioned how much I hated, with a white-hot burning passion, the horned symbol that adorned my ship and my uniform at present? They wanted me to pick up a new hovercraft. Garrus practically salivated at the prospect of a new vehicle to play with and Tali could barely contain her glee at the same. I remembered our former tank now in its final resting place on Alchera. I hoped this thing was more maneuverable.

We finished up on Omega and I kicked Donnelly's ass at Skyllian 5. Mostly because Tali kept hinting what cards he had. She was apparently quite the card counter and she wanted Donnally to lose to me. Later, she told me it was just more fun that way instead of beating him herself. I put the credits aside to buy them something the next time we were at the Citadel. My ill-used conscience was twitching at cheating my crew. Whereas I wouldn't have blinked if I'd cheated Garrus or Tali, Joker or Chakwas. Speaking of... maybe Tali and I could try the same trick on Joker later.

But then, they were my friends. I felt a brief pang of longing for Kaidan which was quickly flattened by anger. There was no time for that. I had to go find a flying tank.

Joker dropped us off, admonishing us to, "Drive safe, Vakarian! Don't let Shepard behind the wheel!" Garrus actually laughed. I hit him with the butt of my assault rifle as I slung it over my shoulder to rest on its magnetic holster on my back. He grinned at me.

The Hammerhead was more cramped than the Mako or even our Kodiak shuttle. There were only three seats in it: the pilot, the copilot and a jump seat set farther back than I'd like. I'd asked Thane to join us, mostly because I didn't trust assassins any more than Jacob did, but not for the same reasons. Disliking him because he was a "precise mercenary," made no sense since, technically, we were all mercenaries at the moment. I distrusted him because he was sneaky in ways I didn't entirely understand.

Garrus glanced at me over his shoulder as he got ready for the drop into atmo. Ever since the first mission in the Mako, he'd driven the landing vehicles. This fancy piece of tin was no different. "Shepard, sit down."

"No. The more eyes on this the better. And there are no windows back here. We're looking for data caches after all." I pointed out, leaning on my elbows braced on the backs of both seats.

Thane glanced back at me then at Garrus, "I am certain we can keep Shepard safe, Officer."

Garrus shrugged, "Her safety isn't what I'm worried about. Try not to make me crash this thing if you land in my lap, Shepard."

I grinned but went back to the seat. "You're such a killjoy, Garrus."

He reached up and flipped switches. "Sit down, Shepard. At least during atmospheric entry."

I'd just finished buckling myself in, crash webbing included, and resisted the urge to tell him, "Come back here and tie me in yourself," just to see if I could get his neck to turn blue in embarrassment. But that would be too much in front of the new team member and it would be unfair of me to poke at him out of my own irritation. Had Tali been here I might have. Instead, I told him, "I'm ready. Wake me when we're down." After all, there was very little for me to do on the drop itself. Krios knew more about being a copilot than I did.

The drop, strangely, was the fastest thing we did in that thing. The rest was tedious as hell. Except for shooting geth. That was always fun. I unbuckled my safety harness and went back to leaning on their seats. Garrus didn't bother to say anything, just glanced at me over his shoulder and went back to dodging energy bolts from the colossus. "Who the hell gave us this thing, Shepard? She's got less shielding than a volus enviro suit!"

"Cerberus." I chuckled with mirth I didn't feel. "Maybe they went broke putting me and the Normandy back together and got it on sale?" I heard Krios laugh softly next to me.

"From an elcor used ship salesman, probably," Garrus drawled.

After the damage alarms began screeching from a glancing blow by a colossus' energy bolt, I had to agree with our joking assessment. This thing was a tin can with the defenses of one. I leaned my head back on my headrest. "I miss the Mako."

"You and me both," the turian replied.

After we finally discovered the fate of the scientists, I stood and stared at that shiny liquid metal globe for which they'd apparently died. "Look familiar?" I demanded.

The sound of the turian and the drell holstering their weapons reached my ears. "Eletania, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Get ready to catch me if I pass out." I reached out a hand to touch it. Krios' unfamiliar hand closed over mine.

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"Two things, Krios. You don't know me well enough to touch me." I wrenched my wrist out of his hand. "And aside from one other person, I'm the foremost Prothean expert in the damned galaxy."

"I was unaware of that." He put his hands up and stepped back.

"Yeah, it's one of the reasons I'm so indispensable. I feel like a walking encyclopedia." I cracked my knuckles. "Stand back." I glanced at Garrus, "You ready?" At his nod, I reached out to touch the sphere again, bracing myself for another migraine brought on by information overload. I touched the cool surface and it rippled. But instead of filling my head with data and forcing me to my knees, the thing shuddered a few times and began shrinking. "What the fuck?"

"What'd you do, Shepard?" Garrus demanded.

"I didn't do anything, dammit!" I walked closer and stared at what was now a small, liquid metal pulsing sphere. I picked it up in my hands and stared at it.

I felt Garrus get closer. "What's it feel like?"

"Warm. Sort of. Kinda glassy." I took one glove off with my mouth and ran my bare hand over the shiny surface. Nothing happened except that it rippled again.

"Shepard, that can't be a good idea."

"I don't really care, Garrus. Let's go. At least I have something to decorate my cabin with." He snorted.

The annoying information gathering with the Hammerhead was at an end, at least. Now, I just needed to figure out this stupid sphere. This mission had been a giant waste of time and now all I had to show for it was a ball I could display on my coffee table. I bounced the the thing in my hand a few times experimentally. I threw it as hard as I could against the opposite wall. Two male voices shouted, "Shepard!"

The sphere halted its own forward progress and flew back to my hand. I stared at it blankly. "What the hell?" I held it out to Garrus.

He shook his head, "I'm not touching that." I raised an eyebrow at Krios.

"I have no desire to touch it either, Commander."

"Your loss. Let's go home."

Of course, the minute I got back to the Normandy, Kelly Chambers had a few messages for me. Jack had apparently found something. Jacob got a strange email he wanted to talk to me about, and Samara had gotten a lead on her fugitive. I rolled my eyes. Everybody wanted something. The requests hadn't helped my mood one bit. Before I went to talk to my crew, I changed out of my armor and sat the sphere on the table in front of my couch. It pulsed weakly at my release and then sat dormant.

I put my uniform on and sat on my couch, my head in hands. I still wanted to fly apart at the seams. I ran my fingers through the hair I hadn't put up yet. A blonde curl wrapped around long olive-skinned fingers. I shuddered. No. I wasn't going to dwell. Dwelling hadn't helped me get over Akuze, it wouldn't help me get over Kaidan. Musky aftershave and burnt ozone filling my nostrils as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. I stood up abruptly and walked over to the fishtank. Absolutely not. I spun on my heel and the first thing I saw when I turned was my helmet. The helmet Garrus had retrieved for me. Crisp, dark curls wrapped around my fingers. I clenched my fists. Air. Gasping for air, spinning out of control, away from my ship. I needed air. Why couldn't I breathe?

I spun and punched my locker, the pain in my fist bringing me back to myself. Memories would get me nowhere. My crew needed me, so I would help them. Maybe I'd help myself in the process. Maybe I'd forget Alchera for awhile.

Jack hadn't gotten any evidence off the OSD yet, but had found where she'd grown up. As she related the tale of her childhood, I felt my blood run cold. There but for the grace of God... Why was Jack reminding me at every turn how much worse my childhood could have been? Why did I still want to punch a wall? I told her we'd go blow up her prison. What the hell, blowing things up was usually fun. I ignored the little logical voice in the back of my head that told me Cerberus had still been Alliance during Jack's formative years.

Jacob had gotten an email from an anonymous source that relayed the distress signal from his father's long disappeared ship. I hoped it wasn't going to be a Flying Dutchman situation. I had no desire to fish frozen crews out of the black.

Samara's request was more straightforward and far more interesting. She'd found her fugitive on Omega. I stood with my back to the viewport and willed myself not to roll my eyes at having to go back to that pisshole. The most interesting part? The fugitive was actually her daughter. And her daughter was a vampiric serial killer.

Because just a plain serial killer would have been dull?

I turned to leave and her calm voice stopped me, "Is there a reason you do not look out of the viewport, Shepard?"

I stared straight ahead, "I can't look out into space, Samara."

"That is an odd condition for someone who lives in a space ship, is it not?"

"Not when you've died out there."