A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Erskine, Ghastly, Tipstaff and nobody but a fool claims to own Death. Massive thanks go out to The-empty-masquerade for the fave and follow.

And dig in we did, and I looked at Skulduggery. "All our favourite foods." I said as we got the basket open and proceeded to cook a feast, the statue of Death as the Grim Reaper watching over us as we did. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I asked as I saw to bacon and sausage.

"She?" Skulduggery asked, looking up as if the word had startled him. "I never told you she was female." He immediately clamped his gloved hand over his mouth in horror over his obvious slip and I looked at him.

"And why shouldn't I be female?" A lovely and rich voice asked and I looked over to see Death clad in a black robe standing by her statue. She held up a hand. "Please. I mean you no harm. I'm your Death, Valkyrie Cain. For even you must pass one day, being Darquesse or not." She sounded warmly amused and as I watched she morphed from a skeleton into a beautiful woman.

She held out her arms and although I knew better I went to her and cuddled in and she stroked my hair soothingly. "I forget my magical children can see more than one aspect at once. I must have given you a fright." I burrowed in tighter in response and she crooned lovingly. Child, she'd called me child. I have a mother again.

Death stepped back to look at me. "You'll always have your mother, dear one. And you'll always have me. You happened to just see your man's aspect as well."

Skulduggery actually blushed in reply and looked away. I could swore he was smitten, but I didn't mind. There was something about her, something warm and loving and comforting. I knew it could be a trap, that she could just be a mage leading a group that put her things in place, because the reaction had been downright magical.

Schools had closed, but not out of fear. For a holiday. People were celebrating the wonder of the statues, paintings and gifts, for not a single person had been missed. Not a one. Not an unborn child, not a homeless person, not anyone. "Why us? Not that I mind, but-"

I trailed off as we got breakfast finished, Skulduggery loading up a plate for her before I even thought of it. He got her chair reverently and saw to her food and coffee and she thanked him. They both looked smitten, but in a way that didn't threaten me. She had the same affect on me, after all. It was all I could do not to crawl into her lap and ask her to feed me.

"Why not you?" She asked, sounding amused again. "I know you still don't believe in me, Valkyrie Cain, nor you, Skulduggery Pleasant, and that there's nothing I can do to change that. But, you'll see, in time, you'll see." She vanished, leaving her plate untouched and Skulduggery and I exchanged uneasy glances.

"That wasn't Death, no matter who or what that was, it wasn't Death." Skulduggery muttered as we sped towards the Sanctuary, the Bentley's engine roaring in delight over being set free.

I nodded. "Sorry, for a moment, I wanted it to be, you know?"

"I know." He said gently. "I was thinking of the old gods of Ireland by the way when I answered you. So don't go getting ideas that Death and I are best friends."

"So, we hallucinated then?"

"No, she was there all right, but did you see how she didn't eat?"

"She is Death. I mean, maybe she wasn't hungry..." I trailed off. Why couldn't we ever get a nice case for once?

Tipstaff met us and escorted us into Erskine's office. He looked at us wearily. "We've had teams out all night. Not a trace of magic, maybe it is just mortals having a lark but I don't think so." His own basket and statue sat on his desk and it triggered a thought in me.

"The statues, the baskets, that's it." I said and Skulduggery turned his head sharply to me.

"Of course." He said. "Of course, well done, Valkyrie. Now we know why they are everywhere, but we need to work backwards to how if we want to figure out what she or they are after."

"What?" Erskine asked.

"The statues. The paintings, even the baskets. Whoever she really is, she's using them to be close to where she needs to be."

"All right, but by every single person in Ireland?"

"What if they are meant to work on us?" I asked and Skulduggery shrugged but I went on. "It's like a really old episode of Doctor Who. Remember? All the cubes and they did something to people. Collected them or something?"

"Then why overlaps on buildings or in parks? No, we're missing something. I don't think we're looking at weaponry. Maybe she or they mean well, but think of it, Valkyrie. Why pick Death as a symbol?"

"Necromancers?"

"Maybe. And she seemed sweet enough, but remember. If it was Death, an actual personification, which, by the way, is not possible, why need us?"

"Maybe they've messed up." A deep voice rumbled as Ghastly joined us. He hugged me then escorted everyone to his office for tea. "The way I see it," He continued "is this. Someone, more powerful than us, upset a balance somewhere. Someone goofed big time. And you three, for whatever reason are part of it, but I think we all are. Every one of us."

"Ireland saves the world?" Erskine tried a smile to see if Ghastly were joking and got a level stare in reply.

"Are you that ashamed of your heritage that you think we can't anymore?" Ghastly rumbled. "Skulduggery and Valkyrie alone have saved the world countless times, we all have." Tipstaff's mobile buzzed and he answered it, then stepped back to us, clearly excited.

"It's happened, everywhere, not just Ireland. Things have just appeared in broad daylight. From the reports in the news it's gone global."

The whole Sanctuary was in an uproar and every Sanctuary in the world was playing nicely for once, some assuming Ireland had did this as a show of force, some assuming we were just the first hit. Death clearly was not welcome in a lot of cultures and as Calamity and Billy-Ray joined us they were the only happy Americans we'd heard from.

"Isn't this great!" Calamity enthused. I smiled. She still was beautiful, still dressed in all black cowgirl outfits, and she had a sunny attitude towards Death that Billy-Ray was in agreement with.

"Ya'll know what's coming next, right?" Billy-Ray asked. "If mama Death is making her nest all nice and cozy I reckon she'd fixin' on bringin' back her babies again. Ain't this just like old times? That was one heck of a battle, huh? And if Skul here hadn't sweet-talked Death herself into helping us-" He trailed off and Skulduggery stared at the floor.

"Am I givin' away secrets? I'm sorry." Billy-Ray said and we both knew he was. He'd changed all the villains had and as they all streamed into the huge command center they all took up various areas of research. Only Jack looked frightened and he sidled over to me as the others went to work and I kept my eyes on a news channel, searching for clues.

"You don't suppose, she's, you know, going to hand out punishment, do you?" He asked nervously.

"I doubt it, or we'd be gone already." I assured him and he nodded. "Jack, did you get a gift?" I asked and he nodded.

"I'm just a bit worried. Beautiful hat, it is. But it's like it came from her personal collection. It's got an energy to it." He took off his hat and handed it to me and I felt what he meant. The energy made even my armour pale in comparison. I shivered slightly, if she meant harm she was stronger than any of us. Then I shrugged.

"Collections, yes, that reminds me, will you watch the news feed, Jack?" I asked as another idea came to me. And he nodded as I got up and rushed over to Tipstaff.

"Where did all the gifts come from?" I asked and he stared at me. "Think of it. Unless whoever is behind this is shipping in stuff from an alterate universe there have to be huge shortages worldwide." He nodded and although we were scrambling, no leads were coming up.

There were no massive losses anywhere, there weren't any found yet, at least, and I had to wonder. All the things had been of Earthly origins, they had to come from somewhere, but where? Death appeared abruptly at my elbow and smiled at me.

"Recycling. All those things people assume they were going to throw away and didn't? Then they can't find them? All the forgotten things, the uncounted ones. You'd be surprised what you can do with that much material. All the food would have gone to waste, so why not give you all a little nudge, mm? It won't even be missed and that's the shame of it."

"But, you included everyone."

"Yes. Mages and mortal it makes no difference to me." She gestured and at her gesture I saw shadowy forms standing by each person. I wanted to shout that we were being attacked, but then I realized each person's personal Death was by them. She looked proudly at me. "Every living thing on this planet is mine. Life creates then walks away to create something else. It's not his fault, he's endlessly making more and I'm endlessly seeing to his creations."

"He sounds like an absentee father."

"You hush. He does his best, or she does. Depends on the mood and form Life is in. And they or he see to his creations and keep them company, but not like me, I am ever present. Guarding and nurturing that which life makes. I keep the balance he cannot."

"Because he can't end things?"

"That's right. And now, of course, there's trouble. You'd be surprised by how often it happens. Two things actually. One, a old enemy of yours is returning. He is doing his best to convince the others I'm not needed. That I have no function. That life eternal is what all living things deserve." She sighed. "But you weren't built to live forever. Parts wear out, people get ill. Can you imagine living forever with a terminal illness? It is what will happen if he gets his way."

I shivered. She was right. If there was no cure, if nothing dies, cancers wouldn't either. Decay wouldn't. The world would become terrible without her balance as unwelcome as she was in many places. "What can we do, how can we help?" I asked and she shrugged.

"I chose you three because he had a fascination with you. You have a little more protection right now. But my gifts to the world showed my love, my unwillingness to abandon my children. I love those who belong to me, and everyone belongs to me. If he forces things, my other children will return."

I had nothing to say to that. Billy-Ray was right and this was serious. But the last time the dead had returned was to fight an opponent who would have destroyed the world. I didn't think anyone would have been that powerful that we'd fought. "What's the other danger?" I asked and she looked at me.

"We have rules. We have agreements. So I can do little more than I already have. I've given him a warning, that I won't go away without a fight. I won't let him hurt any of you. But if he can sway the others, convince them I'm evil? I'll have no choice but to leave you. Be warned, Argeddion is returning."

This story is just a ball of sunshine, isn't it? Comments are welcome, you know.