"In Need of Wings"

Chapter the Twentieth

There is no emotion, there is peace…there is no death, there is the Force.

There is no emotion. There is no death…

Always that small voice inside her, starting from when she was just a youngling, training to become a Jedi. Always that small reminder. But in the moment, the voice wavered, as it had so many times before.

Tucker's scream for help over the comm cut short by the explosion. Axe's last words.

The battle had been long and pointless. They lost so many…too many. She was fourteen years old and she already wanted to kill herself. But if she did, she would render herself even more useless to the rest of them.

If you had obeyed orders this would not have happened, Ahsoka told herself over and over as she sat hunched over in the hangar of the Republic frigate, scratching at her gloves. If you weren't so stupid and such a failure all those soldiers—good men under your command who trusted you!—would still be alive.

It was you. You killed them.

Maybe Anakin was right, that this is the reality of war. But shouldn't she have known that? Shouldn't she have known better? It was no wonder everyone still treated her like she was a child when she threw away her own comrades like toy soldiers…that is how little she deserved forgiveness.

Outside the dreaded Citadel prison, the same voice came back to taunt Ahsoka again. Even Piell's mauled body, torn apart by the anoobas, falling limp in her arms. She could have done better…she could have paid attention just a little more, ran just a little faster, fought just a little harder. What's one drop of sweat from her brow to save another life? But she did not. It was all her mistake.

Skyguy says you're too hard on yourself. Stop saying all of it is your fault. Just because you lose someone doesn't mean you could have done something to stop it from happening.

That was easy to hear safe inside the Temple, the place she once called home. In meditation or in a training session with the other Padawans. When it was just her and Anakin, and sometimes Rex, sneaking away from their camp to take a joyride on a stolen speeder, and pretend there was no war for a little while.

It was different when your friend's brains oozed down your face and all you could hear was their cry for help echoing around you. It was much different when the Force was so heavy with the ache of betrayal that you forgot what it was to feel anything anymore.

There is no death.

And yet, Anakin Skywalker is dead. The Jedi are dead. The Republic is dead. Everything Ahsoka used to believe in, and everyone she trusted, lies dead around her. Lava and fire consumes all the green in the galaxy. The sky is turning red. Love and trust turn to ashes.

It burns out all life, but it can be trusted…it is inevitable, like the dusk. A constant dread.

Fire is death…and if death is reliable as an inevitability of time, would it not be a comfort? Would fire not be a comfort as well?

You will only find peace with fire and death.

Mustafar is calling the former Padawan of Anakin Skywalker. Mustafar is the only home she has left. Only there can she accept the fact that she, too, is dead.

There is always death, Snips.

A hollow scream burned the back of Ahsoka's throat when she saw Bane lying motionless on the ground.

No…not again. Not again, she thought.

This time, she drew both her lightsabers, and turned to the guard who had shot him. She welcomed the fire that burned every memory of what she had been taught…justice, serenity. They were no more now. All she had left was her anger.

Something about the guard's helmet looked different than the other guards. He had a T-shaped visor on the front colored red, and carried two blaster pistols instead of one single rifle like the other guards.

Ahsoka ran towards him and slashed her lightsabers with every intent to kill. The guard slipped out of the way, but the impact knocked off his helmet. He looked back at her in a split second moment that stunned her. She must be seeing things again.

"A clone…?" A young clone? That couldn't be right.

Wait.

"I'm not a clone. I'm Boba Fett," he snarled at her. Now she remembered the small scar above his right eyebrow that she had seen years ago when they ran into each other on the Florrum system. "And you're coming with us, Tano."

"Kill me first." She slashed at him again but stopped to deflect the blasts from the other guard. Before she could send a lightsaber tip across Boba's neck, she heard a cry behind her.

"Two of you…?" Boba looked behind Ahsoka, then back at her. "I was told there was only one Jedi."

Ventress. Ahsoka felt her presence in the alley, heard the hum of her lightsabers. The former assassin stood over the dead body of the guard, and Ahsoka stepped back so they stood shoulder to shoulder. Boba aimed his blasters at them, and she could see the slight fear in his eyes. "Who sent you here?"

"You have no idea at all?" Boba asked.

"Ana—Vader…" She glared him down, eyes burning with rage. "He's sending bounty hunters after us now?"

"Look, Boba, honey…how about instead of doing the Empire's dirty work for them, you lay down your weapons, and we won't have to kill you painfully?" Ventress smiled at him, as if there was something she knew about Boba Fett that Ahsoka didn't.

"No, I'm killing him anyway." Ahsoka glanced at Bane.

Boba rolled his eyes. "I only stunned him, you know. My job is to bring you in alive. The Empire isn't a fan of body bags, it seems."

The fire in her gut suddenly felt cold and sickly. So she had not lost Bane after all…her anger at Boba did not change. He could have killed Bane.

"Ventress, get Cad out of here. I'll deal with Fett."

Boba quickly shifted his glare between the two. At Ahsoka, who stood her ground with lightsabers crossed in front of her, and Ventress dragging an unconscious Bane out of the alley, not bothering to avoid the puddles of muck and getting him soaked as a result. Ahsoka could see it in his eyes…the undeniable fear of them. Two against one. He was mentally sizing Ahsoka up, she could tell, which could only mean he already had a good idea of how his skills matched that of Ventress. His eyes shifted again, mind racing.

Barely fourteen years of age and he was already all grown up and acting like an adult should. It put a sting in Ahsoka's stomach as she remembered what had made her grow up at age fourteen.

Finally, Boba turned and ran. Kid was smart. That meant more danger later on, now that Boba knew what he was up against.

"We can't let him get away." Ahsoka clenched her jaw. "I'm going after him."

"No! He's trying to split us up. If you go after him, he'll take you down." Ventress was holding onto Bane's ankle with one hand and pulling her hood over her head with the other.

"But…" Ahsoka took a deep breath, realizing her mind had become clouded ever since she saw Boba shoot Bane. It had thrown her off enough that she killed that hunter.

That whisper continued ever so quietly, and soothingly. It knew exactly what she wanted to hear.

There is always death, Snips.

Come to Mustafar and you will find peace again. Come home to me.

You know you will never go home any other way.

She shut her eyes. She knew that voice. The voice that told her to give up so many times now, in too many battles on too many star systems, came from a place not from her own mind anymore. Not the ugly thing that reared its head with every fear and insecurity. But from that old connection she wanted back more than anything. It felt so familiar, so intimate, so…at home. What had once been hers and now was lost.

It was Vader.

Come home to me.

Keeping herself physically active seemed to be the only distraction, for now. Ahsoka approached Bane, still lying unconscious. Now thanks to Ventress, his coat, shirt, and face were soaked in muck. She knelt by him, turned him over to lie on his back, and gave him a firm little shake. Even though it had only been a stun blast, Ahsoka still breathed a sigh of relief when he coughed hoarsely and came to. At least one person she cared about had made it another day.

But with bounty hunters after them now, who could tell how many more days they had left? She trusted their abilities to survive and stay on the run, but Boba had to be the first of many. It might not ever stop until both of them were either dead or back in Vader's clutches.

Bane shook the muck out of his eyes and felt his back where he had been hit.

"What happened…?"

Ahsoka grabbed his hand to pull him up.

"You're going to hate me for telling you this, but…Boba Fett shot you with a stun blast," she said grimly, recalling how Bane had previously described the two Fett's, Jango and Boba, with unpleasant vernacular. This news would hit much more than just his ego. "Sounds like the Empire hired him to bring us in alive."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Wish I was."

"Great…so where's the kid now?" Bane slowly sat up and muttered something about his hurt back.

"Took off…he figured out he couldn't take all of us on his own. We'll be better off staying away from him." Ahsoka looked at him, then wrapped her arms around his neck.

Bane frowned and glanced up at Ventress, but she gave no explanation for it.

"Is something wrong, 'Soka?" He stiffened, feeling awkward, as he always did with hugs.

Ahsoka held onto him for a few moments longer, then reluctantly pulled away. Now she had muck all over her too.

"When he shot you, I thought you'd been killed."

He looked about to scowl at her, say something sharp about how she needed to use her head more instead of getting carried away. But at the last moment his eyes softened slightly. Bane held onto Ahsoka's arm firmly.

"I'm all right, little bit. It's okay."

"I know." She bit her lip…gods, this feeling again. Knowing what it would do to her to lose him. Remembering how she found him on Coruscant.

"Are you two done yet? We should really get going."

Ahsoka glared at her as she helped pull Bane to his feet.

"You know, this whole thing was your idea. One of us could have been killed." Ahsoka put away her lightsabers. "Let's just get out of here already."

Bane didn't argue, although Ahsoka figured he would as soon as he fully recovered from the stun blast. He followed her out of the alley, a sulking Ventress lagging behind as she looked around in case more guards were coming. But Ahsoka felt safe for now. At least in the physical sense.

She had lost too many as it was. All it would take was one more and it would kill her, she knew. As strong as she had to be right now, there was no way she could do it alone. She needed her companions.

Now you understand, Snips.

Bane put his hand on her shoulder, briefly silencing the voice in her head again.

"Hey, little bit, hear what I said?"

"Sorry. Spaced out."

"I know a place on the Muunilnst system where I can get the ship upgraded. We could use that. And an employer who just opened several contracts is out there too…if I can get one of those, that's an easy hundred grand."

"We'll do that," she said absently, not fully on Nar Shaddaa anymore. Just like before, the fire and ashes of Mustafar, and the odd sense of comfort that came from it, was calling to her again.

Darth Vader stood in front of a large hologram in the center of Emperor Palpatine's office, hands clasped in front of him. Elsewhere on Coruscant, the Emperor was holding another session in the Senate. While he was busy dealing with straightening out political affairs, Vader worked behind the scenes. Doing all of the Empire's dirty work and never getting the publicity the Emperor had.

The hologram depicted the Jedi Temple…or rather, what used to be the Jedi Temple. Now it was a design for the new Imperial Palace to stand in the old Temple's place. The final touches on the blueprints had been finished that morning, left by Vader and the Emperor to look over before they were approved.

Vader did not dare begin to wonder how he felt about it. The Temple was where the Jedi had trapped him for years. It was also where he had slaughtered the younglings.

He did not know how long he stared at the hologram, studying every detail etched into how the Temple would be torn down and the Palace put back in its place. Only that he instantly shut it off when a call came in from the Emperor.

"I have good news, my Master," Vader said as soon as the Emperor asked for an update on what had happened since. He almost smiled a bit, happy to tell his master something that would improve his day. Make him proud of Vader, even. "My former apprentice has begun to turn."

"Oh? You have found her weakness?"

"Her ties to the Jedi Code are weakening. Her only companions are two criminals, and she only trusts one of them." Vader's smile grew. He felt pleased with himself for saving the best for last. "Let them be eliminated, and Ahsoka will have no one else to go to but me. I will be the only one she has left."

"Can the bounty hunters you commissioned for her capture finish the job, then? Are they…capable?"

"Of course they are, my master. I only hired the best." He hated that he felt an inclination in him to defend the young hunter named Boba Fett. The Emperor's look of disapproval when Vader approved Boba for the commission…what was so wrong about that one being a little young? He had the skill and experience. Besides, Vader knew what it was to be looked down on for one's age. It put a strong bias in his decision to end up hiring Boba Fett for the job, in the end.

"Then send one of my new Inquisitors to bring in your apprentice. I will let you decide which one."

What? No… Ahsoka was his apprentice, no one else's. No one else should touch her, much less one of the Emperor's little assassins, with their pathetic Force-sensitive abilities. None of them should even know Ahsoka existed. Vader was stronger than twenty of them, easily. She's mine…mine! he wanted to scream.

On top of this cruelty, he had been allowed to choose which Inquisitor. His Master knew what he wanted and gave him the choice of who should take his place.

I do everything for you and you're still taunting me… Vader clenched his fists…but it only took a moment before the anger subsided into a cool nothingness. As if this isn't what I deserve after everything. I did hire young Boba just out of spite to my master…this is my punishment.

"Yes, my Master…" Vader said quietly. "I know someone who will be perfect for the task."

"Oh?"

"Yes. An Inquisitor who used to be Ahsoka's friend…before Ahsoka was betrayed by her. She can do it." Vader smiled again as he imagined the look on his apprentice's face when they would meet again. She would break down, surrender…then she would finally be back where she belonged. In his arms.

A/N: I was soooo excited for this chapter because I'm really into the whole Vader/Ahsoka dynamic and I have a lot of ideas for it that will be great fun to write about. Especially how that dynamic can potentially destroy Ahsoka's relationships with Bane and Ventress.

Also, if you didn't figure out who the Inquisitor in the end of the chapter is, you'll find out soon enough anyway