Chapter 12 - Y

Marry Calista. Did he want to do that? Was it something that he thought about?

"Yurick, can we talk?" Oh, no. I wasn't sure if I could have this talk if it was what I thought it was. I nodded. He pulled me aside through a door. He wanted to speak privately. I was confused, though, because we were in the bathroom. There was a bath already prepared. "Can we soak while we talk? I'm really tired." I remembered his back and nodded again.

We disrobed and submerged our bodies in the bath. I had my back to his chest as I leaned back into his arms. "Are you thinking about your decision?"

"Yes. I don't want to do it." I was actually shocked.

"Why?" I turned my head so I could see his face.

He looked awkwardly at the wall. "I don't want to get married, yet. And those 'knights' are rude and lazy. I don't wish to be one of them. However, Dagran has a point when he says that I have to think about you guys. It isn't only for me."

I don't know why I said this next bit or how I even said it. "You should go through with it." His body became tense and, as a reaction, so did mine. I looked down at the water. "You've been dreaming of being a knight all of your life. Why not go for it. Technically, we would be right there with you."

He sighed sadly. "Why would you tell me that?" His arms wrapped tightly around me. "Do you realise that if I take this offer, I have to marry Calista?" I did realise that. I didn't like it, but if he was happy, in some sort of twisted way, I would be, too.

"I do realise that." That was hard to say. I can't imagine how hard it was to hear. No-one has any idea how much I wanted to say that I didn't mean it, to take him into my arms and kiss him, to tell him that I loved him. This was so hard.

"So," he sounded so close to tears that it made my heart shrivel up and bleed out, "do you even care?" The bleeding had just ceased and my heart was trying to force out everything I didn't have left. My body was turning inside out. This hurt so much.

"Yes. I care for your happiness and if being a knight makes you happy, then I say go for it." I had to say that in one breath because I almost failed to take another. His body went limp. I could feel his eyes glued to the back of my neck. I couldn't do it. I turned my whole body to face him, straddling his legs, and saw him crying. I broke. "I don't mean any of that! I'm sorry!" I kissed his forehead and caressed his neck.

"Don't you?" he mumbled.

"No! I only said it because I thought it would make you happy. If saying no to this makes you happy, then do it." My hands slid to his chest and I kissed his cheek tenderly. His tears didn't slow and neither did mine. He pulled me to him and slowly, passionately kissed me. I could never say no to this. This was something I couldn't turn away. "I'm sorry," I whispered into his lips.

"I will always love you. I will never leave you." He put one of his arms around my waist and the other hand on my neck, pulling me closer. I lightly wiped away the tears from his face with my thumb. I could feel him smile. What the hell was I thinking? Why would I even say that? We kissed again and I let him do whatever he wanted from there.

After what seemed like a few minutes later, a knock at the door broke us apart. "Zael?" It was Mirania.

He cleared his throat a little. "Yes?" He wasn't crying anymore, but his eyes were still red.

"Dagran would like you to run out to get some supplies," He was about to reply, but before he said anything she added, "Before you ask if he can do it himself, I should add that he said that only you knew where he was talking about for the items."

He sighed. "Alright."

We slowly rose out of the bath and dried ourselves. He kissed me several times before we were actually dressed and about to leave. After I put on my clothes, I realised that he had unbraided my hair again. When did he do this?

He smiled and opened the door a crack. "Are you coming now or in a few minutes?"

"I'll be out in a few minutes." I had to braid my hair. I rarely ever took it out myself. It would be far too obvious and we would get caught if I didn't fix it. Like they wouldn't already know. He left, closing the door behind him. I felt my lips with my fingertips. I never wanted to make him feel like that again. I loved him too much to let him be taken by some royal girl. I was confident now that I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. He would say no to the Counts offer and we would leave and continue our lives as they used to be.

Side-Note: I apologise to the people who made it through to chapter 16 then were incredibly confused by why that is now chapter 18. The reason is because I was a total fart nugget and forgot two chapters while I was uploading. This is the REAL chapter 11. please enjoy.