I'm back! And I still don't own Darksiders! Thank you detrametal! Short sweet and to the point! Unlike usual. Even I have to admit that I babble quite a bit but not this time! This time I'm getting right to the story! No lengthy author's note at the top for me this time! Nope! And no random things like pumpkins or penguins or pumpernickel or dinosaurs. No sir, not this time! But anyway, on with the story! Enjoy walnut brownies! Wait… crap it!

We came out the back door of the library and into a blistering inferno. Well, it was a blistering inferno to me, the Horseman acted like the heat didn't even affect him. Then again, it could just be me. I was never good with hot things. Especially guys… But anyway!

While passing through a building that was split clean in half, we were attacked by some orange monkey/dog/demon things, which War dealt with quickly, and we continued on our way like nothing ever happened until we reached a huge platform suspended above a huger pool of lava by also huge chains. Had to be the Prison. No doubt. Little doubt. Not much. But just enough.

"Hey, who's that?" I asked, pointing at the demon pacing across the platform. "Is that the dude we're lookin fer?"

War pushed me behind one of the spiked rocks that lined the walkway to the prison, "Stay here."

"Hey! I won't get in the way, I promise! I wish ta know things!"

He just walked off towards the Prison, and the demon, who shall be named General for reasons.

General caught sight of the Horseman, "Drum heim gol straga bor." He said in some weird language.

The fuck is he sayin?

"Non straga sindora." Big Red answered him in the same language.

The fuck is he sayin?

General laughed at whatever was said. I didn't think War could make a joke, or take one for that matter… "Do you know what's imprisoned here? There are things even YOU should fear Horseman! Once you were strong. But now you are weak. And you are alone."

I was tempted to run out there and prove General wrong but stayed where I was. Seemed like a good idea.

"The Destroyer knows of your coming. Even now, he moves his legions against you!"

Destroyer this, Destroyer that, blah, blah, blah. I bet he ain't so bad in person… demon… What is the Destroyer anyway?

"Then I will make this quick." War answered.

General roared, "Destroy him! To my side, dogs!" And they started to fight.

The platform was surrounded by some orange flame-ish stuff that prevented anyone from coming out or going in. Not that I tried or anything…

The Horseman immediately went on the attack, easily dodging General's. After a while General yelled out, "Destroy this fool!" and went on the defensive and summoned some smaller demons.

"That's cheatin ya dirty, scum-suckin bastard!" I yelled.

Needless to say, yet I need to say it, it didn't take War long to deal with the Fuglies.

"I will take your HEAD!" General yelled, attacking the Horseman with some spinning attack that left him dizzily leaning on his ax.

Again, War attacked. Again, General summoned baby demons, "Take this fool's life!"

Again, they didn't last too long.

They repeated the song and dance with a lovely "Bathe in his blood!"

"Pathetic. You fight a losing battle." General said as War dealt the finishing blows with General's own weapon. Nice touch, if I do say so myself.

Now that General was gone, and the barrier was down, I ran forward to join the Horseman as one of the three stone gargoyle started puking up blood.

"…Ew…"

"Over here!" the Watcher said, coming out of War's gauntlet and floating over to a non-puking gargoyle.

"No dur! Never would have guessed." I mumbled.

Big Red grabbed hold of the statue and started to push it forward.

"Just ONE hideous, blood puking gargoyle? The plumbing must be stopped up…" said the Watcher.

"Er it could just be that the gargoyles ain't where they're supposed ta be therefore the pipes, er whatever, ain't connected properly makin it where the blood cain't flow. But it's a wonder, if that's the case, that the blood ain't just spewin up anyway. Then again, it could have clotted. Blood tends ta do that."

My explanation earned me a sextuple glare, which I returned with my own double glare. Glares for everybody! Even Big Red joined in.

Once War got the second gargoyle in place, blood came from its mouth and flowed to the circle in the middle of the Prison, causing something to roar and the whole thing to shake.

"Please tell me that's supposed ta happen…"

Stepping over the blood streams, we went to the third, and final, gargoyle.

"If this were my pad, all the statues would flow with blood - not just the one." Watcher spoke up again.

"If this were your pad, I wouldn't be caught dead here." I told him. And was ignored.

Big Red pushed the statue into place and the blood started to flow.

I hid behind a gargoyle as another roar sounded and the center of the platform sunk allowing orange flames to come up instead.

"War! Are you here to play executioner?" came a deep voice from out of nowhere. A giant demon with upside-down wings, horns and…a tail…came out of the flames and landed in front of War. "They should have sent all four of you."

"I have no interest in killing you, Samael."

So that's Samael… pretty cool. He has my approval in the looks department.

"Ha! The Destroyer? He's beyond your reach. Beyond mine."

"Has prison made you a coward?"

Oooooh! Burn! I wonder whose bitch he was…

Samael roared in Big Red's face, spitting fire, yet the Horseman didn't even flinch.

"Perhaps there is a way…"

Wow, he's more bi-polar than I am.

But, you will need to get inside the Destroyer's spire. The Tower is guarded by four of his Chosen. Bring me their Hearts."

Doesn't he know that everyone uses souls now?

"And ask me no questions..."

Why?

"My reasons for helping you are my own."

Oh, okay… Why?

"Where can I find these 'Guardians'?" War asked.

I thought they were called the Chosen?

"First, seek the Twilight Cathedral, where the Bat Queen Tiamat has gone to roost."

Tiamat? Hydra? Has he been playin Final Fantasy?

"The whole of her domain is a blistering inferno. By land, you will never reach it. Find the high ground… with this."

Samael waved his clawed hand, which was glowing blue, and suddenly War had blue and black wings… and so did I.

I spun in a circle, trying to put the wings out or make them go away or… something so I wouldn't get caught by Mr. Huge Scary Demon. Finally, they disappeared and I tuned back in to the conversation.

"And bring me her still-beating Heart!" Wrapping his wings around himself, he sunk back into the platform.

I went to meet War, "Why would he go backinta his prison?"

The Watcher appeared, "Hmm…the Twilight Cathedral. Samael said something about seeking the high ground? Might be tough - for a muckdweller like you."

"If he's a 'muckdweller', then what the Hell're you? The muck?"

Watcher disappeared back into War's gauntlet with a snarl.

"Ya know, I get the distinct impression that he doesn't like me."

Being ignored yet again, I followed War back the way we came until we reached a giant crack in the ground that prevented us from going any further.

I looked down to see lava flowing below, "That's hot… How're we gonna get across?"

As if in answer, a blue…glowing…windy looking orb looking thingy appeared in the middle of the crack.

"Well, that might help in some way but I'm unsure as ta how… Any ideas Big Red?"

That's when the Horseman jumped, opened the wings recently acquired by Samael, hit the blue orb, flew higher and landed on the other side. He looked back, waiting for me to follow.

"Okaaaay, just give me a sec." I backed up a bit, ran, jumped, and…flew… Okay, that's exaggerating. It was more of a glide. I landed on the other side, sticking the landing. "Awesomeness! Can we do that again?"

Suddenly… Zombie attack!

I pulled Barsus from its place from between my back and book bag as War did the same with Chaoseater.

"I'll get the babies if you get the Mr. Spontaneous Combustion." I suggested.

He just grunted and went after Mr. (see name above).

It didn't take us long and soon we were across the crack on the other side on an abandoned train tunnel…shot through with spikes. We passed through a hole in the wall and into an underground cave filled with, you guessed it, lava… and monkey/dog/demons. After them, we flew up to a higher ledge, with help of another orb. Then we came to the vines…

"Umm… dude, I cain't even reach that."

Luckily, War knew how to solve this. He picked me up and threw me to where I could grab onto the vines, which were super icky.

Grab onto them I did. I clung to the vines like a scared cat as the Horseman climbed up past me, "I'm not sure whether ta thank ya er cuss ya out so bad a sailor would be put ta shame."

He ignored me and I followed him across the wall, past the…whatever…that popped out, across the ceiling and to the ground on the other side. Where he dropped and I floated down. These wings were really handy. And my arms really hurt.

"Hey what's this?" I asked, noticing a stained glass window on the cave wall. "What a weird place ta put a window…" My musings were cut short by more hounds attacking but War easily blew them into the lava with the Horn.

We came to another crack in the ground with no blue orb in sight. Big Red could jump this thing like it was nothing, as for me…

"Um…couldja…?"

He picked me up again and threw me across the crack where I rolled to a stop on the other side.

"Thanks!" I called, spitting out dirt, "I think…"

He joined me and we continued on through a narrow tunnel until…we reached a huge pool of lava… luckily there were two blue orbs floating above it to help us across.

I leaned over the pool, feeling the heat radiating off the lava, "Well hot damnation… literally…"

War went first, easily crossing the lava pool, and waited for me on the other side.

Again, I backed up, ran forward, and jumped. And barely made the first orb. Behind me, my wings flapped of their own volition when I hit the first orb and I rose higher. High enough to hit my head on the ceiling and float down to the next orb and then the other side of the pool. The Horseman was already walking off and I ran to catch up with him. Not that that's anything new.

We reached a ledge and War silently offered to throw me again but I declined and climbed my way up - it was more jumping than climbing actually - but we made it up and found ourselves in another train tunnel.

And a graveyard.

Congratulations! You found the second note! Having fun yet? Neither am I… Anyway, yeah…. Whatever.

It's still just me,

Hope