CHAPTER 8

FOUR POV

I don't know how they do things over in the Candor faction. They have that whole honesty, black and white crap that they tell everyone but seriously they have forged so many documents just for me I would hate to know how many other documents in our city are false. It isn't like I will ever tell anyone, it is to detrimental to my existence to open my mouth. But I have to wonder if there isn't someone over there who knows all the secrets we are all keeping and will one day decide it is time to start spilling them all. Dad told me that it will never happen and I trust him. So I just have to let it go and not worry about it anymore.

My nightmares are back to the basic Marcus beating me like I have always had. I have stopped screaming out in the middle of the night. I think mum and dad are happy about that; mum was really starting to worry about me. Plus she has been needing more sleep since she found out she is pregnant. Glad I won't have to be around when they have a new born waking them up at night. I still remember what a screamer Charlie was.

I'm supposed to have my aptitude test tomorrow. I don't understand why I have to go; I don't care what the test says. I'm going to pick Dauntless no matter what. Zeke is saying the same thing; we have been trying to convince dad and Hana that they should just let us hang out at home for the day. Why go to school, we aren't going back there after tomorrow and who cares if we do the test. We know where we belong. Nothing is going to change my mind.

Zeke and I are sitting at a table with the rest of the Dauntless who will be taking the aptitude test today. As usual we are one of the louder groups. The Amity and Candor tables are almost as noisy as we are. The kids from Erudite all have their noses in books. Then I look over and see the Abnegation table. I shudder as I see the kids at that table. They are all sitting quietly. No one is talking; there isn't any interaction with each other. That could have been me, it should have been me. I look at my friends sitting here with me and then I steal another look at the Abnegation table. I know I am where I belong. It is in this moment that I realise just how lucky I was that day. Not just because I am still alive but because for the last nine years I have been able to have friends. I have been able to have fun. I wouldn't have had any of that in Abnegation. I probably wouldn't even have made it to the aptitude test. I am sure Marcus would have killed me. But it also makes me think of Beatrice. I still miss her. Even after all this time. She was my one true friend. No one has ever known me like she did.

Then it makes me think of how much my real parents hate me, how to them I was nothing. I don't understand why anyone would want to be my friend when I am so broken that my parents didn't want me. I am awoken from my miserable thoughts with Zeke nudging my arm. "Dude it's your turn," Zeke says.

"What?" I say.

"The lady over there is calling your name," Zeke says pointing a lady.

I go to get up from my seat and I almost fall back down. The Abnegation are the ones who volunteer to administer the aptitude test and standing waiting for me is Natalie Prior. I haven't seen her since the day I had the fight with Beatrice. I don't even remember what we fought about only those five words she had yelled at me that had pierced my heart. Then I remember telling Mrs Prior how I was going to marry Beatrice when I grew up. That memory always makes me smile even though it then makes me sad. Beatrice thinks I'm dead and I am in a faction that she would never think of joining.

I walk over to Mrs Prior and I avoid eye contact with her. I don't want her to recognise me. Really I know that she won't but I feel that it is better to be safe than sorry. I'm definitely not the little boy that I was the last time I saw her. She motions me into the testing room and I walk into the room in front of Mrs Prior.

"Hi my names Natalie I will be administering your test today," Mrs Prior says.

The walls of the room are covered in mirrors and the ceiling is bright from the lights that are covering it. There is a long chair that is in the middle of the room with a machine next to it. I don't know what to expect in here, but I wish that Zeke and I had blown off the test like we wanted too.

"Please take a seat," she says.

I walk over to the chair and I sit down. Natalie comes over and places an electrode on my forehead and another on her own forehead. She hands me a vial of liquid. "The test will start once you drink this," she tells me. I drink the liquid and then the room goes dark.

I open my eyes and I find myself back in the cafeteria. The cafeteria is empty, only the long tables are here. Then I see two baskets on one of the tables. I hear a women's voice. It says "choose."

I walk over to the baskets and see one has a chunk of cheese in it and the other has a huge knife. I choose the knife. I can only think that the knife is useful in so many situations but the cheese, what good is that I've already eaten lunch so I'm not hungry.

I hear a door open and a really large dog has entered the room. The dog starts to growl at me. I know I have the knife in my hand but the thought of killing an innocent dog makes me feel sick. I am standing there trying to figure out a way I can get out of this situation without having to harm the dog. The dog keeps inching closer and closer to me. I keep backing away. Every time the dog moves closer I move back away from it.

Just as I think it is going to pounce I see a little girl across the room. She reminds me of Charlie, she holds out her hands and squeals, "Puppy!" I cringe as I see the dog turn towards her. The dog starts to run towards the child and I don't even think I just run after the dog and try to grab it around its huge neck. As I grab the dog I land on the floor and the dog and the girl are gone and I am sitting in the chair in the testing room.

I sit up and Natalie takes the electrodes from our heads. I am sitting waiting for her to instruct me on what to do when she hands me another vial. "I need you to drink this," she says. I just sit there looking at her. I must look confused because she raises the vial and says, "I need you to drink this now, it is really important. It is going to make you vomit but I need you to do this."

I take the vial from her hand and I drink it, it is almost instant. I start throwing my lunch up all over the place I can't stop. This feels horrible. "Stay here, I will be back in a minute," she says. I don't think I could move if I wanted to, I have stopped throwing up, I don't think there is anything left in my stomach to come up. I can hear voices outside the room but I don't know who the voices belong too. I sit back in the chair holding my stomach when Mrs Prior and the school nurse walk in.

Mrs Prior walks over to the computer and I can see that she is deleting a file. She then types something into the computer. I can't see what she has done because the nurse is now checking me over. "He should be alright," the nurse says to Mrs Prior. "You may need to find someone to take him home, if he starts vomiting again he will need to see a doctor," she says.

The nurse leaves the room and then Tori walks in. What is Tori doing here? "Hi Four," Tori says.

I just nod I'm frightened if I open my mouth I'll have more than just words come out. Tori and Mrs Prior are having a whispered conversation that I can't hear. This is getting frustrating now. "Tori is going to take you home Four, she will explain what has happened once you leave here. Your test result has been entered as Dauntless," Mrs Prior says and she leaves the room.

"Come on Four, let's get you home," Tori says.

I'm not going to argue with her. I don't want to be back in here anytime soon. We walk out of the room, we pass Mrs Prior as we are walking and I see she has a mop and bucket in her hand. I feel really bad for the mess I made. I should go back and help her clean up. Tori takes my elbow and says, "come on, we need to get you out of here, now."

It isn't until we are on the train that Tori speaks. "Four your test results weren't just for Dauntless. They also came up with an Abnegation result."

"I don't understand Tori. How can I have two results?"

"You are divergent Four," she says.

I've heard the word divergent before. Dad was talking about it; he had been having meetings with Jeanine Matthews from Erudite about it. Dad doesn't like Jeanine very much, you can tell because he is always in a bad meeting when he gets home afterwards. Jeanine is trying to hunt down people who are divergent. She is trying to convince dad that he and Dauntless should help. Dad has told her to get lost so many times.

"What does that mean Tori? How do you know about all of this?" I ask.

"Four being divergent means that you fit into more than one faction. Your brain works differently, you can't be controlled. You need to keep this secret, there are people who want to kill you," Tori says.

I knew I shouldn't have gone to the aptitude test. I knew it, I don't know how but I knew I should have just blown it off and then picked Dauntless tomorrow at the Choosing Ceremony. Now I have to worry about what happens if I'm discovered. Will it be safe to talk to dad about this or am I just putting myself in even more danger. He isn't my real dad, will he care enough to keep me safe. Marcus and Evelyn didn't care to keep me safe. They were happy to discard me as soon as they could. Will dad do the same thing now that I'm not the perfect son?

I am lying on my bed, trying not to think about what has happened today. Mum walks in and says, "Four we are going down to dinner soon."

"I'm not hungry," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.

"No," I say. It is a complete lie. Yes I want to talk about it but you will want to kill me if you find out what is happening.

I don't know how long I lie there for but I can see it is dark outside now. I don't really care, I hear my stomach rumble but just ignore the hunger pains in the pit of my stomach. It probably doesn't help that Mrs Prior made me throw my lunch up all over the test room floor. I hear a soft knock on my door and see Amar enter. He is holding a tray of food for me.

"Whatever is going on Four you still need to eat," he says.

"Thanks," I say. I am really hungry and I appreciate the gesture of him bringing me something to eat.

We sit in silence while I eat the food on my plate. After I have finished eating Amar looks at me and he says, "You're divergent aren't you?"

What do I say? I don't want to lie to him but what will he do. I think back to when I was nine and Marcus had beaten me within an inch of my life. Maybe I should already be dead anyway. So what will it matter if they kill me now. Maybe I've been living on borrowed time anyway. I nod my head to answer his question. It doesn't feel as real if you don't speak. I have always felt that. Probably why I nod so many of my answers to people. Then they can't hear the emotion that I sometimes can't control in my voice.

"It's okay Four. We can help you out with this. You are going to choose Dauntless aren't you?" Amar asks.

"Of course, where else would I want to be?"

"Just checking," he says with a chuckle. "Your mum and dad thought that you may have been divergent. That's why they sent me to talk to you. You see I'm divergent too."

"Oh, what does it all mean Amar? Tori explained it to me but what is the problem, I love Dauntless I would never think of being anywhere else," I say.

"Jeanine Matthews from Erudite is trying to hunt down and either kill or experiment on anyone that is divergent. She is one sick bitch that one is. She goes through our files when we get to stage two and tries to find out who is divergent. We have had a lot of 'accidents' over the years and we know that Jeanine is involved. Your dad has been trying to stop it from happening. That is why Tori is at the aptitude tests and one of the reasons I became an initiation trainer. We are all working with Natalie Prior from Abnegation to try and stop Jeanine," he says. "Even though I will be looking after the transfers, when it comes to stage two I will be running the simulations so I can make sure nothing happens to you."

We sit and talk for a while longer. He explains how I will need to get through the simulations as a Dauntless. Amar and I have been training since I was 13. So we both know I won't have any trouble with the first stage of training. Now I will only have to get through stage two and everything should be okay.