Don't own Darksiders or I've Got No Strings from Pinocchio. Once again, thanks detrametal. Is that it? Yeah? Then I'm leaving. Sooo… enjoy… danishes. I don't even like danishes…
Where am I? Who am I? How did I get here? Whoa… Who izzat? That is one big dude. These are the questions, and one statement, that ran through my head after coming through the Serpent Hole before all of my memories came rushing back. It was all a huge headache and I wondered if War experienced the same momentary confusion. Seeing as how he was actually standing and I was on the ground, I doubted it.
I got up with a groan as Big Red started to walk off.
We got there without incident to find Samael sitting on one of the gargoyles, which was no longer puking up blood. Maybe it ran out.
I hid behind one of the other stone monsters, still close enough to hear what was being said, while War and the Watcher went on.
"I trust that she suffered?" Sam asked, getting down.
"Not nearly enough." Answered the Watcher.
What a suck up.
The Horseman handed over the Heart and Sam snatched it from him.
"Beautiful…"
I guess everyone has their own opinion.
"It's no use hiding, human."
…Maybe he's talkin about a different human. I'll just stay here and-
My thoughts were interrupted as an orange/black mist surrounded me and I rose in the air.
"Hey! The fuck?! This is so not cool! Okay, it's a little cool!" I was brought out from my hiding spot and ended up face-to-face with Samael himself. I also somehow ended up upside down… "Um, hi there Sammy. Do ya mind puttin me down? Ya know, gently and on my feet, if ya can. Also, how'd ya know I was there?"
"I have my ways, little human." He chuckled.
I managed to sit up and cross my arms, "I ain't little! Everyone else is just huge!"
He chuckled again but set me down and I quickly got up and hid behind the Horseman.
"The second Guardian - the Griever, moves in tunnels beneath this place. But first, there is an… obstacle that must be removed. Ulthane. One of the Old Ones."
Old Ones? Great, just what we need, an old crotchety dude shakin his fist at us ta get off his lawn.
"You didn't mention that before." War accused.
He barely mentioned anythin before.
"Changing the deal already, Samael?" the Watcher barged in.
Someone changes side fast.
"Be silent, filth." Sam said, backhanding the Watcher and sending him flying.
"Thank you! Bout time someone did that." …I couldn't help it, the sprite had it coming and I'm just glad someone finally gave it to him.
"My business is with the Horseman." He said, turning back to said Rider. "Ulthane is no ally of the Destroyer… but you won't find the Griever without confronting the Black Hammer."
Wait, which one do we have ta "confront", Ulthane er the Black Hammer? Er are they the same person… Old One… thing?
"And that will require strength you don't possess… huh… yet."
Sammy stretched his hand towards the fallen sprite, surrounding him in the same orange/black mist but this seemed to cause the Watcher pain. Yay!
"URK! What the hell do you think you're doing Samael?"
Causin ya pain. What does it look like he's doin?
Sam flexed his clawed hand and every time he did caused the Watcher more pain. I'm starting to like this dude.
"Tell him Watcher." He said, dropping the sprite. "How you stifle the Horseman's true power in order to keep him on the Council's leash." He turned to the Rider then, "War - destroy this parasite."
Please do us all a favor and end him. I thought but decided to stay out of this. And how did Sammy do that neat flamin eye trick?
"You so much as blink at me and the Council will end you. BOTH of you! I'm PROTECTED!"
I couldn't help it. I blinked at him. Twice. I'm such a rebel.
"Not in here." Sam told him before turning back to the Horseman, "You are War! Rider of the Red Horse! Not some puppet on this pathetic creature's strings!"
He has a point.
"War. I will make you suffer!"
They're like the little angel and demon on Big Red's shoulders. For once, I'm rootin fer the demon.
"Focus your anger. A great rage stirs within you, clawing to get out."
A black mist came from War's gauntlet and the air around him started to heat up as he walked towards the grounded Watcher.
"You MUST release it. Or a puppet you'll remain."
The Horseman let out a roar before partially turning into some giant, fiery, awesome-looking monster and slamming his fist into the Watcher's face.
I've got no strings, Ta hold me down, Ta make me fret, er make me frown, I had strings, But now I'm free, There are no strings on me
"You are reborn!" Sam said, mysteriously releasing bats into the air and laughing.
Did he kill 'im? Tell me he killed 'im. Wait, where'd the bats come from?
"What… was that?!" the sprite asked, picking himself up from off - or maybe I should say out - of the ground and rubbing his head.
I would also like ta know what that was, and why, and how ya ain't dead?!
Deciding he got what he came for, War walked off.
"The Horseman is broken, but there's still much power in him. For a moment I saw… one who would stand alone against the Destroyer's ARMY."
I know I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't help it, "What am I? A lamppost?"
"What?" the demon asked, turning his gaze to me.
Act meek! Meek! Guys like this love meek people, makes 'em feel powerful… er somethin. Then again, I doubt he needs ta feel powerful.
I changed my voice to something sweet and more innocent, held my arms tightly against me, started chewing on a fingernail, and kept my head down as I spoke. The picture of a scared little girl. "I-I mean, I may be just a human but I'll help Big Red out any way I can. Even if I gotta fight angels, er demons, er undead. I don't mind. I ain't scared o' em."
"Is that so, little human?" he asked, getting closer.
I tried to shrink into myself in response to his closeness, "I-I ain't little. You're just big." With that, I turned and ran after the Horseman, hearing the demon chuckle behind me.
"What was that?!" the Watcher asked, catching up. I could hear the laughter in his voice.
"It's called actin, asshat. At least I didn't get bitch slapped by a demon then ground inta the floor by my charge."
He flew in front of me, making me come to a halt, "You're starting to annoy me human."
"'Starting ta'? Damn, I'm losin my touch."
The sprite reached to grab the front of my hoodie but missed and ended up grabbing the two necklaces I wore instead.
I could see his jaw moving as he spoke but the only thing I could hear was a dull roar that grew in volume and intensity with each passing second. Nobody touches my necklaces, unless by accident. Nobody except myself, that is. One was a diamond ring I got from my grandparents on a chain and the other was an arrowhead on a leather strap from my dad.
I could feel myself smile before my body started to move by itself.
"What are you smiling for?!"
I grabbed the Watcher's arm in one hand and started gently picking his fingers off from around the precious jewelry.
All the while he yelled at me. I didn't listen. The roar was still sounding in my ears and just wouldn't go away until I put this poor creature out of his misery. Or at least hurt him a bit.
Once I had his hand removed, I grabbed his throat and slammed his face into the concrete. Bending his arm back behind him painfully, I sat on his back to make sure he wasn't getting up any time soon. I pulled out one of my pocket knives and used it to clean out from under my nails
"Get off me human bitch!"
I grabbed the back of his head - Is that his hair? - and pulled it up a bit before slamming his face back into the ground, "Quiet while We are thinking." The smile was gone. The Queen was back. And We were pissed. Yes, I'm using the royal We. No, I'm not cra-… Moving on!
"Listen you pathetic creature, if you ever even think about touching any of Our things again without Our permission, We will cut you a mouth on your disgusting face then break off your fingers and shove them down your throat one by one. Then We shall sit back and watch as you choke on them. No one will miss you once you are gone. You are replaceable. You are nothing. Kill yourself now and save Us the trouble of having to do it. We shall even lend you one of Our knives." One way to tell if I'm actually pissed off is if I'm taking the time to pronounce everything correctly. Stupid queen complex. Not like I want to have it! Gets my point across though.
The Watcher started to yell again but I didn't listen and drew my hunting knife from its sheath and stabbed it into the ground close enough to his face that it sliced his cheek a bit. Black blood ran from the new wound and down his face, almost invisible against his skin.
"Do We make Ourselves clear?"
The sprite chose to remain silent and just glared up at me.
I smiled at him, "I'll take that as a yes then." Jumping up and sheathing my knife, I chased after the Horseman, humming some tune from an old video game.
We caught up with him in time to see him throw the Crossblade at a stray flame then at an inactive bomb on the red rocks blocking our path causing it to explode along with the rocks.
Seeming to forget the earlier incident, the Watcher began to complain… again, "Why is Samael wasting our time with this Black Hammer Business? Argh, well, I guess we should get on with it."
We passed through the new hole in the wall and into a… yay, more tunnels. Clean flowing water could be seen through the grate beneath us. War chose to take the straight way down on the grate while I preferred using the stairs on one side. No way was I going to trip and break something trying to go the same way. Out of that tunnel and into another with both ends blocked so that the only way to go was through another doorway. Which is why the demons - and one undead - thought that it was a good time as any to attack.
A blue Mr. Spontaneous Combustion crawled out of a blue portal on the ground while Fuglies came out of red ones. Ya know, maybe the blue portals are for undead and the red for demons… Anyway, War took out Fugly after Fugly, - and I did help - occasionally hitting the undead on the side, but more just kept on popping up.
On the upside, the Horseman eventually did enough accidental damage to Mr. SC that he decided that it was time to really earn his name and explode, except it didn't which was really weird 'cause it acted as if it was. After that, Fuglies stopped coming up and we were finally able to leave. Exhausted and injured, but free.
Going through the now open doorway, we found ourselves in a room with a giant fan but no floor. We stepped onto the, thankfully, stationary fan. Below us, another one spun around pretty fast and way below that was a pool of water. Cool but it would be a very good idea not to fall.
We walked down the blade towards the center of the fan and jumped onto the next one which lead to a doorway, which lead to a hallway, which lead to a room with two demons in it, which were guarding a crank thing, which War turned once the demons were gone, which caused the top fan to start slowly turning, which made a very loud and annoying sound, which hurt my ears. That it? Think that's it.
Going back the way we came, we jumped onto the now moving blade and waited there until it came to the only door we hadn't passed through yet.
Big Red got off first and was immediately attacked by the Fuglies waiting there. As I tried to follow, my foot slipped on the slanted concrete and I fell. It seems I'm only clumsy when my life is at risk.
Catching hold of the ledge, I held on and prayed that the fan would break somehow and stop before it could knock me off. There was nothing else to grab onto that I could use to pull myself up. I was screwed. Curiosity overpowering common sense again, I looked down. The other fan whirled around below and the water looked like a steel slab. Probably would feel like one too if I hit it from this height. That's if either of the fans didn't get me first. I could hear the Horseman still trying to fight off the demons and I couldn't let him expose his back to them just so he could help me.
Deep breaths. Calm down. Think, Hope, think!
On either side of me were small ledges that the fan passed right over.
Deep breath. If ya fall and die that's it. Humans are gone. As far as we know anyway. Death will come quickly so no worries. No pain. Little pain. But only a little. Dammit! I said calm the fuck down! Yes, I realize I'm lying to myself. No, I don't care.
I slowly made my way over to the closest ledge. As I tried to get my foot on it, I loosened my grip for more reach. My mistake. My loosened grip, along with sweaty hands, caused me to slip again. My grave would be a watery one. This was so not how I wanted to go out.
A metal covered hand clamped around my wrist. I say wrist but it was actually my whole forearm. I gave a relieved sigh as War pulled me up, a blood covered Chaoseater still clutched in his right hand.
He set me down on shaky legs and I instantly fell to the ground. I may not fear death but a near-death experience will make anyone shaky.
"Thanks…" I told him. You're okay, you're okay. You're safe...
Finally able to stand, I threw my fist into the air, "Allefty! Let's move on!" Still had to walk with my hand on the wall for support. No way was I leaning on the Horseman.
We walked down the dripping hallway, the sound of the fan following us the whole way, until we were stopped by another demon attack, along with a Mr. FSC. I'm afraid I wasn't much help with this one.
Didn't matter, it didn't take long for War to kill the Fuglies and Mr. Fake Spontaneous Combustion, who shot screaming exploding skulls at the Horseman and laughed if they hit. He needed to die…re-die. Re-die he did, with his fake exploding.
We continued on again and it didn't take us long to finally get out of the damn tunnel and into bright sunshine, fresh air, and…
"Beautiful…"
Sorry for the cutoff. Wait, no I'm not!
Maniacal giggles,
Hope