Chapter 23 - Z
"Fine, I'll go. But I hope you know I'm doing this per your request, not his," I told my brother after he spent most of the morning trying to convince me to go see the Count. I stood from the table where Dagran, Lowell, and I had been sitting and made my way outside.
The breeze felt good. I'd been stuck in the same bed for the past few days and it was stuffy. The fresh air was wonderful. Every time I walked the streets of this city, I was just overwhelmed with this sense of peace. It honestly was one of the loveliest towns I had been to on my travels with the group.
I made my way to Castle Gate Plaza and was startled when a guard came up behind me.
"Master Zael!" he saluted and I jumped slightly, "You have been summoned by Count Arganan. Please go to Lazulis Castle." He almost sounded desperate, which made me think that they might have gotten reprimanded for my not going sooner.
"I'm on my way there now, thank you," I nodded to him and he took off.
The castle was actually quite lovely as well and most of the people were very kind. Some of them were rude and snobbish, but in general, they were good people.
The Great hall was gorgeous, but what else would you expect. It is a castle. There were still rumours about our release from the dungeons flying around. One group of people I passed were talking about how strong we must have been to break out. Did he not realise that we were still walking around the city like nothing happened?
I approached one of the castle guards. "Have you seen a friend of mine? He's slightly shorter than me, white hair, mage…"
"Yes'sir, I believe he went to the library," he said quietly, trying not to cause too much of an echo, I guessed.
I knew I was here to see the Count, but it would be nice if I could just peek in on him for a second afterwards.
I went up two flights of stairs and around a corner to find the Count's room.
"The Count awaits you," the guard said, opening the door.
"Thank you," I nodded to him.
"Zael, how nice of you to join me," the voice made me shiver a little at how cold it sounded. "Have you come to a decision?" I walked up to his desk where he was tapping his fingers impatiently. I hadn't quite made up my mind yet, which is why I had been avoiding him, so I'd have to go with whatever my gut told me at the end of this part of the conversation. "Soon you will become a knight and, if you perform well, I would consider letting you marry Calista. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?" his grin was a mix between conniving and creepy.
"I haven't quite come to a decision yet. I'm not entirely comfortable with forcing her into something she doesn't wish to do," I said honestly, but that wasn't the only reason.
"I see, but do not forget that Calista and Jirall's engagement has not yet been cancelled," his grin was still unnerving.
I thought about it for a few more seconds. He's not saying I have to marry her… and Dagran and the others… I kneeled down. "I swear allegiance to the Count," I said boldly, looking at the ground.
He stood and gestured for me to rise. "Good boy. You've made the right decision. Now my mind is at ease." He walked around his desk and towards the middle of the room. "Calista is sure to be happy, as well." He looked over his shoulder. "I hear she's quite fond of you."
I didn't say anything. My mind kept cursing at me. Shit.
He clapped his hands together. "Excellent. I hereby grant you this sword, treasured within the Arganan family. It is known as the Fallen Angel," he walked over to the wall and lifted a sword off of its hangings. He held it out for me to take. It was similar to a knight's sword, but had a longer, skinnier hilt. I took it, noticing its fine craftsmanship. It was definitely old, but it was very well built. He walked towards the window, his hands behind his back. "Things will get a lot busier around here. I'm expecting great things from you." He then told me that he was making a formal announcement that we were supposed to attend in an hour then dismissed me.
I need to clear my mind. I went across the castle towards the library and stuck my head through the door. The only person I wanted to see was standing against the wall next to the door.
"Hey," I spoke softly as I closed the door behind me.
He glanced at me and looked away, but quickly looked back. "Oh, hi," he smiled.
I walked over to him and stopped next to him, telling myself that I couldn't kiss him or hold him here. It was a shame. I really wanted to hold him. Instead I leaned my shoulder against the wall and just stared pleasantly at his face. "I just wanted to stop in for a second. There's going to be a gathering of sorts in about an hour," I felt my hand twitch towards his, then pulled it back. What the hell have I done? I can't go five minutes in the same room with him without wanting to touch him. How the hell am I going to pretend we have no real relationship? Now with the Count trying to marry me off… and I practically accepted…
"Oh really? What for?" he unfolded his arms and looked at me dead in the eye.
I looked down at the ground, "Umm," but before I could speak a little mage girl with short hair ran up to Yurick to show him something.
"That's rather impressive," he praised her. He was so adorable with kids. She blushed.
While he continued to look at what she'd brought him, she turned to me and whispered, "I'm going to marry Mr. Yurick when I grow up. I promised him I would." Her smile was so large.
I gave a small chuckle. "We'll see," I said under my breath as she took her book back from him and ran back to her twin brother.
He smiled, apparently hearing what I'd said. "What you have other plans for me?"
I would have continued the flirtatious jokes, but suddenly Calista popped back into my mind. My smirk faded and I scratched the back of my head. "I actually have to tell you something," my chest was starting to hurt and I could feel a small headache coming on. He stared at me intently. "Well, umm, I talked to the Count and," I couldn't even finish, but I didn't need to. He caught on.
"You accepted didn't you?" he turned his face away so I couldn't tell what his expression was. He sounded blunt and emotionless like he usually did around everyone that wasn't me.
"I can explain," I started.
"No need. I get it. I can't get in the way of your dream after all. It would be foolish of me to try," he crossed his arms again and started towards the door.
"Yurick, I-," I called and reached for him.
"I'll see you in an hour," he said, seemingly getting colder by the second.
What have I done?
I followed after him, but he was gone a lot faster than I had expected him to go. I felt terrible for pulling him in every direction. Just when we were settled and everything between us was fine, I'd go and screw it up again. These last few times have all been around Calista. I didn't want to marry her, but I didn't hate her either. I wanted to help her get out of being stuck with that dirt bag. At the same time, Yurick was all I wanted; my everything. I even forgot how much I'd dreamt of being a knight when he was around. Yes, it was a dream of mine to become a knight, but I didn't want to give him up in order to reach that dream.
I turned the corner and could have sworn I saw her.
"Calista?" I called, but she walked away like she didn't hear me.
Now what? Who do I go after? I have no idea where Yurick went. Besides, I don't think he wants to talk to me. I'll let him have some space, I guess. I need to speak to Calista anyway. I ran after her. I crossed the connection bridge towards the sleeping quarters. Her room was in the middle, right? I knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again.
"I'm sorry, Lady Calista's just left. Said she needed some air," a sweet looking maid said softly.
"Thank you," I smiled. I knew exactly where she was. I followed the nearby stairs to the ballroom and saw her leaving for the balcony. I followed. "Calista?"
"Zael, I'm glad to see you up and about again," she looked out over the edge of the city. "I was really worried."
"Uh, yeah," I stood next to her and looked down at the courtyard. "I never got to thank you for showing up at the hearing. They declared me innocent because of you."
She spoke softly. "That's okay… you were protecting me as well. Isn't that why you didn't tell them the truth?"
"Well, actually-," I started. I was going to tell her about Yurick finally, but she cut me off.
"Can I talk to you about something?" she turned to face me. I nodded. "I overheard you talking to my uncle." Oh. Well, umm… crap. "Please," she held her hands together, "you have to refuse his offer!"
Should I just pretend I haven't decided yet? "Why? It would be all over. You wouldn't have to marry Jiral."
She looked down at her hands. "People have tried to help me in the past, but my uncle or Jiral would always find out and terrible things would happen," her voice started shaking. "So many people hurt… because of me!" she sounded like she'd cry at any moment. She looked back up at me with a strong and sure face. "I may not have a clue about the outside world, but I know this world a lot better than you do. It's not some fairytale world of knights and princesses like in stories, but a world where people cheat and murder for their own gain without blinking an eye! There is no freedom here. Only treachery and deceit. I don't want you in a world like that."
"So you'll just marry Jiral? You're alright with that?" I crossed my arms and looked down at her.
She looked away. "Of course not, but what choice do I have?"
"Well," I scratched my neck, "I figure I should tell you before you go back into that room," I gestured towards the ballroom. "I sort of already pledged my allegiance to your uncle."
"You did what?! And you didn't tell me sooner?" she put her hands on her hips.
I threw my hands up in surrender. "It kind of just happened, but I did it for you and Dagran and Syrenne and Lowell and…" I thought of Yurick and how he was the only one 100% opposed to the idea. I let my hands fall back to my sides. "I just want to do right by everyone. This was our dream."
She sighed and took my hand in hers. "Those who seek to please everyone, please no-one and, inevitably, hurt themselves." There was a pause for her words to sink in, and they really made me feel like I'd made the wrong decision. But what would the Count have done if I had turned him down? If he is how Calista says he is, what's to stop him from forcing me to help him? I know he only wants my power, but at least this way I can help some people. "Thank you, for thinking of me. Shall we go?"
We could hear the sounds of people gathering in the ballroom. I nodded and we walked back together then stood near the edge of the throne steps. I looked out towards the crowd and saw Yurick leaning against the back wall. We made eye contact briefly before he quickly looked away.
I'm so sorry.
Side Note: Many apologise for being late with these last three chapters. I recently bought a wii u to replace my wii, which broke during my move, and lost my save file so I had to start over. I'm attempting to write as fast as I'm playing. Thank you for your patience. I really appreciate that many of you have read this far and I am UBER glad that some of you have favourited my story. That means a ton, really. Please enjoy the next few chapters as they come out.