Don't. Own. Darksiders. Random. Cat. Noises. Thank. You. Detrametal. Also. Cake.

Green, green, green everywhere! Blue is actually my favorite color but used to living out in the country where everything is green then suddenly stuck in the city where it's all grey… Do any of you know just how happy I am right now?! Extremely.

I ran ahead of the Horseman and under the miniature waterfalls to get a better look. The streams created by the miniature waterfalls at the edge of the tunnel ran off a valley like area already filled with water. Crumbling buildings could be seen rising up out of the water farther off. Crows flew here and there, cawing at our arrival. It's good to see that some animal life still remained. Plants covered every surface, even the rocks were covered with green moss. The air practically smelled of green.

This was sanctuary.

Except for the Mr. FSC but we'll worry about him later.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I rolled up my pants legs and splashed around in the water, giggling all the while.

War watched me but looked as if he was remembering something.

"Whatcha thinkin 'bout?" Wasn't none of my business but who cares?

"We need to move on." He answered, walking off down the small path along the edge of the valley.

"Liar. Thinkin 'bout cha girl?"

He didn't respond so I took that as a yes.

"Ya wanna talk about it?"

"No."

What he doesn't know is that I can get anyone to talk to me. Unless they are actually unable to talk, that is. "C'mon, at least tell me her name."

"…Alina."

"Allefty then. So was she another Horseman er what?"

"She is a demon."

"She is"… well that rules out the "she's dead" theory. Unless that's what he's in denial bout instead o' a breakup.

That's when some Fuglies dropped down from somewhere - almost ruining my good mood - and stalled our conversation. Their resistance was futile… or something like that. Anyway, they didn't last long, of course. Neither did Mr. FSC and we were able to continue on our way.

I decided to try and keep him talking and changed the subject, "I could really go for some cake. How 'bout chu?"

"Cake?"

"C'mon, ya gotta know what cake is. Ya know, basically sweet bread covered with icing and sometimes decorations?"

The Horseman just looked at me and shook his head.

I sighed, "When this is all over let me find the ingredients somehow and a working oven and I can make some cake. Ooh, and some cookies. I'd kill fer an orange right now. Oh, er strawberries." Thing is, I wasn't really all that hungry. I just wanted something sweet.

More demons appeared and stopped our one-sided talk again. But one of them was different. He was still fugly, yeah, but he had better armor and a different weapon. I think it was time to upgrade Barsus. The regular fuglies went down one right after the other until the only one left was the 2.0 version.

"Go on ahead Big Red, this one's mine." I was going to earn that new, more scythe-like, weapon. Taking it after the Horseman got the kill just didn't feel right.

Big Red went on and the demon actually seemed okay with this as he let him pass.

I placed my book bag on the ground before giving the demon a bow, "Hello Mr. Fugly 2.0, my name is Hope and I'll be your executioner this evenin."

He let out a roar before charging at me.

"Missed me!" I sang, jumping out of the way. Another swing, another dodge, another spit-filled roar.

"That's gross dude. Ya won't get any ladies like that, man. I know I wouldn't go out with ya, cain't speak fer anyone else though. I mean, at least brush your teeth every once in a while. Oh, and don't forget ta bathe." Another swing, another roll out of the way.

"After that, we'll work on your clothes. Girls love a fashionable man. But not more fashionable than they are, o' course." Again with the attacking! I'm trying to give him some good advice and help him get a girlfriend and here he is trying to kill me! Oh wait… I started this.

"And we have ta do somethin with that hair. Do ya even own a brush? Do ya even own hair?" You know the routine by now.

"Guess it's my turn now." I sighed. "I want ta see blood. Throat slicin it is!" Did I ever mention that I may be a little bit disturbed? And I don't mean the band.

I waited until he charged again and repeated the usual dodge and clotheslined him with Barsus, bringing him down. It was easier than I thought it'd be. He seemed dazed so I took my time sitting on his chest and pulling my knife from its sheath. My bad.

Mr. Fugly 2.0 was considerably less dazed than I originally thought and grabbed me by the throat and held me suspended in the air as he got up. Once on his feet, he let out a creepy chuckle and said something in a language I couldn't understand. Wait, they can talk?!

In any case, I didn't like the look in his red eyes. So, I did what any other normal girl would do in this situation… Crotch kick! Okay, it wasn't exactly a kick since I used Barsus to hit him instead 'cause I didn't want to stub my toes on his armor.

Either way, it had the same effect as he dropped me on the ground in favor of grabbing something else in pain. In my defense, he made me do it.

Grabbing the handle of his weapon, I Spartan kicked Mr. Fugly 2.0 of the edge of the path. He hung on still but I hit his hand with Barsus and he let go. Barsus 2.0 was mine.

I sat back on the grass. "Holy bloodbath, I was worried there fer a sec. But I got my new weapon!"

I grabbed my book bag, leaned the old Barsus against some rocks. Felt kind of bad to just dump it like this but… oh well.

I caught up to Big Red to see him fighting two more demons that jumped down from above but got there too late to help. I promise it wasn't on purpose.

He looked at me as I splashed up to him and showed him my new weapon with a smile. He didn't return it and we continued on. Jerk.

On the up side, it really was a beautiful day. Also, why are there so many crows?

Walking, more walking, literally jumped by more demons, I really like this new weapon, and woke up Rock Man.

"Forgive me, friend. I would grant you passage were it within my power. Do for me what you have done for my brethren, and I will hinder you no more." He said.

Ya ain't no hindrance ya poor baby.

"There must be another way." Said War.

Why? It doesn't seem that hard ta kill those Lurker dudes. Then again, I'm not the one doin the fightin so what do I know?

"The Curse must be broken. Then, you may pass."

Don't worry Rock Man, Big Red's got this in the bag… right?

He, like the other, breathed orange on us and everything got all freaky again. Good news is that it didn't burn as much this time and there were no blood tears! Yay!

"Find where these Shadow Lurkers hide and KILL THEM ALL! They can't be that hard to find." Commanded the Watcher. Anyone else having deja vu?

So we went back the way we came and towards the first beam - I just noticed that there's like a smaller eye on top of the beam - only to find that the Lurker dude wasn't there. The Horseman jumped off the walkway and down onto a little rock outcropping down below. Not seeing a way back up besides swimming, I stayed where I was.

What? I'm not getting my clothes wet for nothing.

I sat and waited for him, watching the screaming faces rise up from the ground. Finally I saw the orange beam disappear and crawled over to see him jump into the water and swim to the next one that was on top of a building. I followed along the walkway as he disappeared. Not much else I could do.

He came back out, the second one disappeared and he jumped back into the water.

That's when I saw something fly - more like crash really - into the tunnel where the first Lurker dude was.

…I really should have learned my lesson with Shadow Man but… Oh well.

Setting my book bag on the ground, I jumped down from the walkway - it's gonna be a pain to get back up - and used the wings to float down the last couple of feet onto the outcropping.

I stepped as softly as possible so that my bells wouldn't jingle as much and heard muttering up ahead. Finally the mysterious, crashed, muttering, whatever came into view.

An angel. Oh carps.

He was sitting on a rock, his… Halberd! It's called a halberd! His halberd leaning beside him on the same rock. His helmet was off revealing a handsomely chiseled and tan face with short white crew cut hair. He held onto his arm while muttering to himself.

I inched closer to get a better look only to end up stubbing my toe on a rock…

"Yebat, tā made, neuken, merde, irumabo! Vybliadok! Kuso iwa!" I wouldn't recommend trying to translate that.

The next thing I know, my back is pressed against the wall with the halberd at my throat.

"Whoa dude, calm down. I know it seems kinda backwards ta say this but I ain't gonna hurt cha."

His weapon lowered a fraction as he looked at me incredulously. How awesome is that word?

"A human…"

"Yeah, I'm a human. And you're an angel. Anythin else ya wanna point out, Captain Obvious?"

"You're the human that has been traveling with the Horseman." Well, I guess I called him Captain Obvious for a reason.

The sarcasm demon was rising up again but I pushed him back down, "Yes I am. I'm also tired o' things constantly tryin ta kill me so couldja please put this down?" I asked, poking the weapon still at my throat.

That's when I noticed the blood. It was running down the angel's right arm and dripping onto the ground. Instantly, escape plans started to form in my mind, all of them took advantage of his injury. Instead of executing any of these plans, different instincts took over.

"Oh my dude! You're hurt!" I ducked around his weapon to inspect the wound.

"Back away, human!"

He tried to back away himself but I grabbed ahold of his uninjured arm and pushed him back down onto the rock he was sitting on earlier.

"Be quiet and sit down! Oh, and take off your armor ta where I can get ta the wound."

I guess out of shock, he did as I told him while I took his weapon and my own and leaned it against the wall. When I turned back, the angel had taken off the entire top half of his armor, showing off a well-muscled chest and arms.

Deep breath. Ain't the first time ya seen a guy shirtless.

No, but it's the first time ya seen a shirtless guy this hot in person. Told you I was never good with hot things.

So? We're here ta treat the wounded. Not gawk at their body while they sit there bleedin.

Fine, but just a little bit more.

No! We don't even know the guy!

So?

…Good point. It can't hurt ta look a bit more…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started towards the angel.

He watched me with wary glowing white eyes as I drew closer. For whatever reason, this offended me, "Oh, just chillax already wouldja? Do ya honestly think that a weak, currently mostly unarmed human, such as myself could hurt cha?"

He relaxed just a little but he still watched me.

Well, it's a start I suppose.

A start o' what?

Shut up already! I don't have multiple personalities! Ya don't exist!

Sighing at my own crazy, I looked at the cut on the angel's shoulder. It was deep but it didn't look infected and the bleeding had already started to slow.

"Damn, wish I had a first-aid kit er somethin. Maybe a fish-bone needle and cat gut. Er at least a rag ta wipe the blood away." I mumbled to myself.

The angel started to shift and I was about to tell him to sit still when he pulled a white cloth from his pocket.

They have pockets?!

Apparently so…

I thought I told ya ta shut up and go away!

"Will this do?" he asked, handing it to me.

"Well, yeah. Are ya sure ya wanna mess it up?"

"It does not matter."

"Okie-dokie then."

I took the cloth and pressed it against the wound to help stanch the flow of blood. After it stopped bleeding, I'd see what else I could do.

Holding the cloth in place with my left hand, I held my right one out to the angel, "Name's Hope, by the way."

"I am Aeneas." He said, taking my hand and completely covering it with his own.

"Nice ta meet cha Aen. So, mind if I ask what happened?"

"Demon ambush."

"Ah, I see. So you're part o' the Hellguard?"

"Yes."

"What do ya'll do exactly? No offense, but "Hellguard' is an odd name fer a group o' angels."

"We are so named because we guard against Hell's forces. When the Endwar began we came to Earth to battle the demons."

"'Endwar'? Ya mean the apocalypse?"

"Yes."

"So why are ya fightin Big Red?"

"Big Red?"

"Yeah, ya know, the Horseman."

"He rode at the wrong time and started the Endwar before the appointed time. The Kingdom of Man was not ready and was destroyed because of him."

"I doubt we would ever have been ready. Anyway, I don't believe that."

"What?!" He tried to stand but I pushed him back down.

"Big Red don't seem like the lyin type. So when he says he answered the call, I believe 'im."

"How can ya believe him when he may have caused the destruction of your entire race?!"

"Never liked humans much anyway, even if I am one. In any case, he's huntin down all these Chosen motherfuckers just so he can get ta this Destroyer motherfucker and prove his innocence. Ya don't do that if you're guilty. Then you're like 'ta hell with this, yeah I did it'. 'Cause this is way too much trouble if ya are guilty."

"You may have a point Hope."

"Course I do. Also, wouldn't it be easier if ya'll teamed up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ya'll are after this Destroyer dude too right? 'Cause he's the leader o' all the demons here on Earth yeah?"

"You are correct on both accounts."

"Then wouldn't it be easier ta take 'im out if ya'll teamed up?"

"I… had not thought about that."

"It's a wonder why not…"

"I will stop attacking the Horseman and shall try to convince my brothers to do the same but I cannot guarantee anything."

I gave him a smile, "And I thank ya fer at least tryin. That's all we can do sometimes."

By now, the wound had stopped bleeding and I took the rag away to see that the cut had completely healed.

Hm, fast healers I guess. I thought to myself. Was it just me or was the green flower on the back of my hand glowing brighter?

I dipped the now bloody cloth in the clear water at our feet to wipe the rest of the blood off Aen's arm.

"There, all done!"

He looked at his healed shoulder then at me in amazement. "It should not have healed this fast. Hope, do you-"

"Human! Where are you?!"

The Watcher. "Great, just the voice I wanted to hear." I stepped out of the tunnel, "Down here! I'll be up in a minute!"

When I went back in to get Barsus, Aen had already put his armor back on and was holding both of our weapons.

"I thank you for your help Hope." He said, handing me Barsus.

"No prob, Aen. Anytime."

"May I give you a… 'lift' as you humans say?"

"I'd be extremely grateful if ya did."

Outside the tunnel, Aen easily picked me up with one arm and flew up to the walkway where he landed in front of War.

"What is this, human?!" the sprite asked as the Horseman reached for Chaoseater.

"None o' your bidness." I answered as Aen set me down.

"Wouldn't you rather come with me?" he asked. Even under his helmet, I could see the wary look on his face. "You would be safer with the Hellguard."

"Nah, I'm good. But thanks anyway. Besides, I made a deal."

"As you wish. Goodbye Hope."

"See ya later Aen." I waved as he flew off then went ahead before either the Horseman or the sprite could ask any questions.

We went back the way we came and War blew the Horn, waking the sleeping rock giant who just walked off and climbed up a wall.

Finally able to move on, we went through the tunnel behind Rock Man and into another tunnel. Filled with water. Looked like I was gonna get wet anyway.

We dived in - my phone, and therefore my music, was officially ruined - and I clung onto War's back as he swam since he was faster than me. Had to be mindful of when he reached for Chaoseater to fight the electric fish. You read right. Electric fish. Hm.

I think I blacked out for a moment cause the next thing I know, we're on the other end of the tunnel and I'm on my back and looking up at the Horseman.

Please tell me CPR doesn't count as a first kiss. Does he know CPR? Kinda hoping not. No offense to him but… eh.

"Ya didn't… ya know, didja?"

"Didn't what?"

"Ya know, do CPR?"

"CPR?"

Really? "Mouth-ta-friggin-mouth!"

"No, I did not."

"Then I'm suddenly a lot better and we should get movin."

I held onto him again as he climbed up the gross vines - past the rudely exploding skulls - jumped to a thick wire, climbed across it to the other side of the huge hole in the middle of the tunnel, and dropped to the ground.

We went down an adjoining tunnel, ignoring the one that had Vulgrim's medallion hanging in front of it, and finally out into the open.

Great, I'm wet. I hope whatever's in my book bag isn't ruined… And who knew there were friendly angels out there? Really gives me hope for this world. Well, somewhat.

Making new friends,

Hope