Don't own Darksiders! Thanks to detrametal! Ya know, while going over this I started to reevaluate my life and I feel now I should open up a bakery that sells only cookies and brownies. Perhaps the occasion human sacrifice. But that's an adventure for another day.

We exited the tunnel to find a wide open space littered with cars and crows. Water tumbled down on either side of us to join small pools below. There were very large doors - I guess they were doors - directly in front of us and to the left. Destroyed buildings surrounded us, covered in plant life. In the middle of all this was a very large hammer basically radiating energy.

Don't touch it, don't touch it, I wanna touch it!

I left the Horseman to go soak my feet in the pools as he went to get the hammer. He would probably make this quick so I had no time to chill but relax while you can, right?

I had just started to relax when I heard War grunting with the effort it took to lift the weapon.

"Come on, already!" yelled the sprite. "What are you waiting for?!"

Ya ta shut the fuck up.. I thought."Ya got dis Big Red!"

From out of nowhere came a deep Scottish accent, "You plan on usin' them hands ever again… You'd best not go touchin… that what ain't yers." See? So it was a good idea I didn't touch it.

I turned - practically jumping out of the water - to see War with Chaoseater already drawn and pointing it at some giant Scottish looking dude sitting on a car and studying his nails.

Completely unperturbed by the sword pointin at him… we got a badass up in here!

He stood and kicked the car he was sitting on clear over the buildings and beyond.

Now was that really necessary?

"Ulthane." Stated War, propping his weapon on his shoulder.

Thane of Cawdor? Don't know what or who that is? Read some Macbeth.

"You know me. But I don't know you." Hammer said, getting in Big Red's face. "And I don't like strangers. Especially the uninvited kind. And maybe who you are don't matter as much as what you want."

So he is a crotchety old dude wantin us ta get off his lawn. Called it!

"I've come for the Black Hammer."

That hammer ain't black. Men really are color blind.

Hammer let out a very hearty laugh, "Really now?! Well, you're welcome to give it another go." He said, walking off, clanking with every step, "But after that, I best not catch you around here again."

Oh my glob… that accent!

"It's you." Said War.

"What's that now?" Ulthane asked, turning back to the Horseman.

Uh-oh…

"The Black Hammer… It's you."

Dammit! I thought we were keepin that a secret!

Hammer popped his neck with a loud, almost painful sounding, crack. "Do yer worst. But let me tell you a little secret, boy. The one in the dirt, is by far… the easier of the two." He said, getting into a sprinting position for whatever reason before charging towards the Horseman.

He just called Big Red "boy"… someone really is a badass.

The Old One instantly grabbed War in a bear hug and practically crushing him - seriously, I heard bones cracking - then threw him up and head-butting him. Wow. I like this dude.

The Horseman went flying a little ways before landing on his knees and leaping to his feet. Big Red rushed up to Hammer and slashed at him with Chaoseater while dodging the Old One's powerful punches. Amazingly, War's attacks did little to no damage.

I would try to help but I was taught to pick my fights carefully. I was staying out of this one.

"That blade's big." Said Ulthane. "But I'm bigger."

I stood away from the fight, wondering who I should cheer for. I'd been with Big Red this whole time and he'd pretty much protected me so I guess I should cheer for him. But Hammer was just so cool. And that accent… I decided to keep my mouth shut for once and just watch.

War tried attacking with Chaoseater again but it still didn't work.

"Haw, yer pullin' yer punches, right?"

No, unfortunately, he ain't. Besides, I don't think Big Red's the kind ta "pull his punches" anyway.

"WATCH OUT!" Hammer shouted before jumping up and plummeting the short distance back to the earth and causing a shockwave. How nice of him to warn Big Red.

That's when the Watcher came out, "That blade of yours is useless against him. Perhaps there is another way."

But what other way could there be? I hated to even think it but War might actually lose. We'd be like seriously screwed then. I mean, who else would go after the Destroyer dude? The angels? Psh! The only thing they've been doing is getting in our way.

"C'mon Big Red! Ya got this! Ya can think o' another way ta beat this loser!" I didn't mean that. Ulthane's not a loser. I hope he didn't hear me.

Apparently he did as he turned my way and laughed, "Quiet little missy." Then he focused back on the Horseman.

Why does everyone call me little? I mean, I guess I am compared to them but still… It does nothing for my pride.

War went back on the offensive, his blade still doing nothing. He even tried the Crossblade and the Horn and they did nadda. Not. A. Dammed. Thing. I hope he had a better plan than that.

What? I cain't do all the thinking. Big Red's gotta grow up and learn for himself.

"I almost thought you were serious." Hammer laughed. "Yer throwin glass against stone, boy."

It seemed the Horseman finally came up with an idea of how to beat the Old One. Or at least I hope he did. He returned Chaoseater to the place on his back then somehow rose into the air where a red mist surrounded him until he became that… thing again. Ya know, that giant, awesome monster/demon that he turned into before he pounded the Watcher into the dirt. Good times.

"Impressive!" Hammer shouted at the sight.

Damn right it's impressive! I still ain't entirely sure what it is but it's Hella impressive!

War swung his giant, flaming sword at the Old One and it actually did some damage! I'm guessing it did something since Hammer yelled out "Bloody Hell! Urrggh… That… stung a little."

Big Red got in a few more good hits which resulted in a "Mmph, lucky shot!" from Ulthane.

Lucky shot my ass! That was skills bitch! I'm suddenly hopin that no one here can read minds… I'd be in a lot o' trouble if someone could.

The last hit knocked Hammer back a few paces, "I ain't been tagged in millennia… Hmm."

He must be really good at hide-n-seek. Guess that's why he's livin way out here.

Having turned back to normal, War charged at Ulthane who did the same.

That's when they showed up to ruin the party. And it was just getting good.

A blast from an angel's weapon came out of nowhere and hit Hammer, stopping him in his tracks. We all looked up into the sky to see angels floating down.

Is Aen up there? I wondered as I ran over to join the Old One and Horseman and hid behind his bulk.

In the middle of them all was the skank Uriel. She landed on one of the cars, her wings causing dirt to fly up, "One hundred years… Since the day Abaddon was taken from us I have prayed from this moment." She lifted off again, flying closer to War and point her sword at him. Stupid angel.

Meanwhile, Big Red kept Chaoseater's point in the ground.

Who does dis bitch think she is?

"For your crimes, I would see you tried in the White City. But until this world is free of the Destroyer, its gates are closed to us. And justice will not wait."

Poor you. It's your fault fer comin ta Earth.

War still didn't say anything but I could hear metal creaking as he gripped Chaoseater's hilt.

"I sentence you, here and NOW!"

Time seemed to slow down as the Horseman swung the massive blade in a reverse grip, running it along the angel's blade and causing sparks to fly.

Suddenly, Ulthane's hammer came plummeting down from above, hitting one of the angels and completely obliterating him when he hit the ground. It also caused a shockwave that sent cars, and myself, flying.

"Yer justice can wait till we finish our little scrap missy."

We all looked up to see Hammer on top of a building while one of the angels started walking, actually walking, towards the hammer that crushed his comrade.

One: how in the Nine Rings did he get up there so fast? Two: don't tell me that angel's bout ta do what I think he's bout ta do. Bad idea, bad idea! He don't like people touchin his hammer!

"There ain't no sport jumpin' into a tussle what don't concern you. Go'on! Fly away, pigeons! 'fore I pluck ya."

The Black Hammer "plucking pigeons"… that's somethin I would love ta see.

The angel that was actually walking grabbed ahold of the giant weapon he was heading towards.

Idiot.

"Blasphemer," he grunted, trying to lift the hammer, "it is you who takes sides… in a battle that doesn't… concern you…"

Hammer let out one of the weirdest laughs I'd ever heard, "Bwawwwwhawwhaww! Please… Allow me." He jumped off the building and landed beside the angel, almost crushing him, and wrapping a giant hand around the shaft of the hammer. Time seemed to slow again as the Old One swung the weapon and hit the angel, sending blood and feathers flying.

"That's what ya get fer touchin' what ain't yerz." He said, hefting the hammer onto his shoulder. "I'd duck if I was you."

That's when the competition began. I guess it was a competition since Hammer was counting under his breath how many angels he killed.

Hammer grabbed the back of my hoodie as I was walking towards the Horseman and lifted me into the air before setting me on his huge shoulder. "You sit here little missy."

"Um… thanks." That was all I could say. I'm sitting on a giant's shoulder while he runs around and kills angels. What am I supposed to say?

Ulthane and War ran off in different directions to fight the angles who mostly stayed high up in the air.

"Keep them feathers flyin' boy!" Hammer shouted as he slammed his hammer into an angel who had gotten too close. Meanwhile I hung onto his scarf thingy for dear life.

"Shove off, pigeons! Out of my way!" he shouted, smashing another's face.

"Yeah!" I joined in. "Ya ruined a good fight!" My ride just laughed.

All the bigger angels with shields seemed to gather around Hammer who just took them out one after the other no matter what kind of attacks they used. A favorite was jumping up and slamming back into the ground, creating a blue shockwave. By the way, where did Uriel go?

I caught a glimpse of Big Red as he cut off an angel's wings before stabbing him in the chest.

"My pillow needs a little stuffin'!" An endless source of jokes, this one.

"We will not yield! Your justice is at hand!" one of the angels yelled a moment before the Horseman killed him.

"Bring him down!" yelled another. "For the light!"

"Ok, now you're just showin' off!" Ulthane shouted at War as he took down two angels at once.

Finally they killed all the angels there. Hammer put his hammer onto his back - where it mysteriously stayed - and ran towards the round door off to the side, "Over here, stranger."

Why is he callin Big Red a stranger? It's obvious he knows who he is.

I could hear the Watcher come out of War's gauntlet behind us, "I hope this Old One knows where he's going. We came for the Griever's heart, remember?!"

"I think he knows where he's goin." I shouted back. "And lighten up! Big Red deserves ta have a little fun every now and again."

"What are you waiting for?!" Hammer yelled at them. He opened the door somehow and held it until War had passed through. But now we were at a dead end. Blue crystals blocked our way between two buildings and the road ahead had crumbled.

But it's okay cause more angels decided to show up! Yay…

Big Red picked up one of the abandoned cars and threw it at them, grounding one to where he could finish it off. Soon they were done and we were back to our original problem of being stuck. Luckily, Hammer knew how to get us out of that mess. He simply took his hammer and smashed the crystals. That was easy. However, there were more on down. After that, we were back in a more open space with more angels.

While War was dealing with the last angel, Hammer and myself - had to go with him really - went on to the next door.

"Get over here, blast it!"

The Horseman slammed the angel into the ground then punched his chest plate until blood spewed up from the wound and out of the angel's helmet. After he was done, he ran over to join us.

Through the door, more angels showed up. Hammer threw his hammer up at one of them, bringing him down. I really hope Aen's not here.

The Old One got the last one this time by throwing him up and backhanding him. Whoo! He then went to the edge of the cliff and called Big Red over, "Over here, stranger."

War came over and before I knew what was happening, Hammer had him standing in the palm of his hand and was throwing him into the side of a building. He broke through the wall and into the building though.

"Can I go next?" I asked the Old One. It looked pretty fun.

"Not if you fancy breakin yer neck little missy."

"Oh… okay. Next time then!"

He just chuckled at my silly human behavior.

Then, more angels attacked.

"The Hellguard stands ready!" one of them said.

Well whoop-de-doodle-doo fer you.

"Shove off, pigeons!" Ulthane told them again.

After he was done with them, he went to the edge of the road where some inactive bombs were on the pillars on the far side holding the road up. "C'mon! Give us some help over here!" he shouted to War. "Are you gonna move this thing, lad?"

Big Red came into view through a hole in the wall of the building where an active bomb was.

"What are you waiting for, drop this thing." Was Hammer's encouragement. He seemed to be very impatient.

The Horseman did the obvious thing to do and picked up the bomb and threw it at the inactive ones, making the road collapse to where we could cross it. He went on to find another way.

As we crossed the bridge, I plucked up the nerve to ask my ride a question that had been bugging me, "Um, Mr. Hammer… Sir?"

"What is it lassie?"

"Ya do know who Big Red actually is, right?"

"I have my suspicions."

"Then why do ya keep callin him stranger."

"Cause maybe he's not who I think he may be."

"Oh… okay?"

We had gotten to the end of a bridge - and Hammer smashed the way back for whatever reason - when a different kind of angel appeared who had golden wings, white armor, and carried a cannon. He went after War though and left us alone.

Once Hammer saw Big Red come out of the building - carrying the angel's cannon, might I add – he threw his hammer up, jumped up after it then threw it at the crystals that barred the Horseman's way, smashing them into pieces.

"For the Hellguard!" one of the angels on the other side yelled. "Bring him to justice!"

Some of them flew over our way but Hammer took them out easily enough. War even laid down a bit of cover fire for us. Wasn't that sweet of him? Then again, maybe he just wanted to win.

Ulthane didn't talk that much besides to taunt the angels and the occasional grunt. I was content to sit back and enjoy the ride. Except more just kept showing up which made that a little hard.

"The Horseman approaches!" another warned his comrades as War made his way down the path, blasting at them with the cannon.

"WATCH OUT!" Hammer actually warned one of the angels before jumping up and slamming back into the ground himself. Made my teeth hurt.

Again, the Old One helped Big Red out by smashing the crystals in his was before calling out to him, "Over here, stranger." Except that there was no way for War to get over here…

In any case, more of the fast angels with the swords and shields seemed to be showing up. Didn't matter, they eventually died.

We ended up in a nice little corner under a tree. Always gotta look on the bright side.

"Slay him!" we heard as two more of the golden winged angels appeared but they went after War.

After they - and the normal ones that joined them - were dealt with, we continued on our separate ways. Ours was blocked by a long row of the blue crystals which Hammer destroyed in one go. Talk about awesome. We made it to the end and waited for the Horseman to join us.

"What are you waiting for?!" Ulthane shouted impatiently.

Big Red jumped over to our side and we continued on together.

Farther down, Hammer destroyed some more crystals, revealing a hole in the wall where a treasure chest sat. See? He is kinda nice. I didn't get to see what was in the chest since we went ahead of War. Boo.

We made it to the next, and final, door.

"You won. Fair 'n square." Hammer admitted. So it was a competition. And Big Red won! Yay!

Ulthane opened the door and we went through into a large courtyard with a fountain in the middle.

As soon as he closed it, Uriel came floating down, "You'll go nowhere Horseman."

Does she even know where we're goin and/er why?

"You cannot escape your fate. Abaddon will be avenged."

She was totally in love with this Abaddon dude. I can tell.

"Defend yourself traitor."

The orange mist barrier stuff rose up around them, trapping them in and Hammer and myself out.

"Gets me all worked up just thinking about killing her, but I'll settle for watching you do it." The Watcher said, coming out for no apparent reason.

"Go Big Red! Ya totally got this! Obliterate that bitch!" I cheered him on. Hammer just laughed that weird laugh of his.

She threw a couple of spinning energy blade thingies at him which he easily dodged.

"You underestimate me." She warned him.

War went in for the attack but was forced to retreat when she started spinning and generating blue energy. She flew up into the air before diving back down, stabbing her sword into the ground and sending out a shockwave. It seemed that this took a lot out of her as she crouched on the ground and didn't move until Big Red started attacking again.

She flew up again and came back down with a downward slash which the Horseman avoided and started slashing at her again.

"Impressive!" Hammer yelled.

Skank did her little spinning, jumping thing again but this time War couldn't dodge it because of the fountain. Meaning a direct hit.

"That little… bitch!"

The attack was more powerful than I thought it would be as War collapsed onto one knee.

Uriel stood over the Horseman, preparing for the final strike.

"Big Red!" I jumped down off Hammer's shoulder and ran towards the fight, easily passing through the barrier. Maybe this one wasn't meant for humans.

"Lassie!" I heard Hammer yell behind me.

I jumped between the two and brought Barsus 2.0 up as the angel hussy brought her sword down.

Remember earlier when I said that I was taught to pick my fights carefully? Yeah, I have a really bad habit of not listening. Also, my body just kinda moved on its own. Don't ask me why.

As expected, the former demon weapon easily shattered at the impact and I was a knocked to the ground.

"Hope!" That was Aen's voice. So he was here.

"Human! Why do you defend the Horseman?!" the skank asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks fer askin." I mumbled, getting up. "I'm defendin him cause I believe he's innocent o' the crimes you're accusin him o'!" Well that was a mouthful.

"He started the Endwar!"

"Ya have your opinion, I have mine."

"Stand aside!"

"Make me bitch." She was just enforcing my "all women are evil" theory. "Big Red, now might be a good time to get up and take over. Not sure how much longer until I realize this wasn't such a good idea." I told him, not taking my eyes off the angel in front of me.

I guess the bitch decided it was time to make me move by hitting me with the flat of her blade. I also guess she was stronger than I gave her credit for as she sent me flying out of the barrier. I hit the ground and finally rolled to a stop just short of hitting the concrete wall.

I tried to sit up but found that a stinging pain in my abdomen got worse when I did. Looking down I discovered that my shirt had been slit open and blood soaking the edges of the cut. It seemed the point of her sword had caught me. Well shit.

Ouch… Can this day get any better? I thought, laying back, closing my eyes, and regretting my life decisions.

It wasn't a killing blow but it did hurt like a mother and it was going to bleed a bit.

I just need a band-aid…

"Aeneas!"

Why is she callin him?

Next thing I knew, somethings was pressed onto my wound and I was being lifted into the air. I opened my eyes to see Aen carrying me.

"I'm sorry Hope." He whispered. "But you're wounded and need help."

"If you're sorry then put me the fuck down. I'll be fine. I don't need nobody's help." I struggled weakly to get out of his hold but to no avail.

Maybe it's worse than I thought. Why is it gettin so dark?

"I can't do that." Aen sounded so far away now but I knew he was right beside me. Dully, I heard Ulthane yelling but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Why the Hell not?"

"I cannot go against orders. And I cannot let a friend die."

"Screw your orders and screw you."

We were raising higher and higher. Down below I knew that the Horseman and the angel were back at it and I could only hope that he was kicking her ass.

"War…" I tried to call out to him before that world went black.

Fuck that bitch.

Injured and pissed,

Hope

She flew as fast as her wings would carry her. Thanks to Vulgrim she couldn't use the Serpent Holes to get the Twilight Cathedral before the Horseman left. Now she had to chase him way back to the Prison. She. Was. Pissed. Not only was she being attacked by angels and demons at every turn, she had to chase her boyfriend while he ran around with a human girl. She wasn't usually the jealous type but she could make an exception. If she could call visions, she would be able to find him a lot easier but nooooo some idiotic force had to be blocking her.

She could see the Prison in the distance now and Samael walking around. Maybe she wasn't too late.