Chapter 24 - Y

Damn it! I ran from the library and down the stairs, trying to cover my hurt with anger. I ended up going to the courtyard. I shoved passed people to get down the stairs towards the east gate then to the corner behind the stairway. I wasn't going to leave, I just didn't want people to see me. Here I was hidden even from the guards at the gate.

Damn it! I clenched my teeth and punched the wall with almost everything I had. "AAH!" I let out an angry scream of pain. I had probably broken my hand. Holding my sore hand in the other, I leaned my forehead against the cold stone wall. He said he was going to turn him down! He-. Most of my thoughts stopped at that point and all I could focus on was my hand. Shit, that hurt. It wasn't the first time I'd done something stupid and regretted it later, but it was one of the most impulsive. I took a deep breath and grunted a sigh.

"Yurick," I didn't need to look to know who that soft voice belonged to. "Tell me what's wrong," she said sweetly.

"It's nothing. I'll get over it," I lied.

She put her hand over mine and started healing it. "You're crying," she looked ominously down at my hand then at the wall.

I felt my face with my other hand to my face to find it was completely dry. "I'm not-," I started.

"I can hear you," she looked me in the eye and lightly touched my chest. She always knew. It was silly of me to think she wouldn't. "I was on my way to the library when I saw you run out here. You were crying so loudly," her concern was written everywhere.

Finally, the emotional barrier was destroyed. Zael had been chipping at it with all of his good and bad moves and Mirania was able to just knock it down in three seconds. Then again, I suppose me banging on the other side certainly helped, whether intentionally or not. I fell to my knees limply and stared at the ground. She knelt down in front of me and pulled me into her embrace.

"You don't have to tell me, but I recommend that you do. It will help, even if only a little," she whispered sweetly.

"I just can't handle it. Everything; life, feelings, the past, the future. They scare me," I couldn't cry. I wanted to now, for the first time, but couldn't. "I don't want to be alone again!" I shoved my face into her shoulder and let her sooth my pain with her warmth. She didn't say anything. She just let me rant. "First my dad left, then my mum died. I was so alone and now," I mumbled into her sleeve, "it's like he's going to leave me, too! And I- I don't know what to do."

She pulled back and took my face in her hands. "No matter what, you will always have us. I care about you very much. Even if I leave for any reason," she put her hand to my chest again, "I'm here. All of your memories are here. Remember that." She smiled the best smile I had ever seen. It reminded me of my mother; not bright, not false, but honest and hopeful. I leaned towards her as she held me again, allowing myself to feel safe even though I was vulnerable.

After what only seemed like minutes, she said, "People are starting to go inside. The Count must have something important to say." She stood and offered me her hand. "Shall we go?"

I wiped my face just to make sure I hadn't cried then took her hand. "I really am starting to hate this castle. After this I'm going back to the tavern." She smiled and we walked together to the ballroom on the other side of the castle.

Mirania met up with Dagran when we got down the stairs. I leaned against the back wall and crossed my arms. I saw Count Arganan in the centre of the room. To his left were General Asthar and Sir Therius. To his right was Jiral and Calista…. and Zael. His eyes met mine. Why is he up there with her? Shouldn't he be down here with the Mercenaries, not up there with the royals? Ugh. I was almost too exhausted to care anymore. I looked away then towards the crowd to get my mind off of things that weren't important at the time. There were more important things to think about, like why we were here.

Finally, one of the knights cleared his throat and all attention was turned to the Count.

"I have gathered you all here for a very important announcement. This horrific assault has taught us one thing: that the threat to the Gurak has by no means been consigned to history." Some murmurs were heard, but died quickly. Why is he announcing this now instead of after it happened? Is it because of the castle repairs? Then I remembered that the Military troops had just come back from their Gurak base raid. "Fortunately, the crisis was averted, but the Gurak may be planning to strike again! You must realise I will not sit back and simply wait for this to happen! And so I declare today, we shall take the fight to the Gurak Continent!" Every head was turning, some shocked and others fired up and ready to go. It made sense to me.

The whispers died down when the Count spoke louder. "For at last we have the power to make this a reality. A man with the Mark of the Outsider has appeared and he will awaken an ancient power hidden deep within the island." Zael! I looked towards him. He was wide eyed and took a step backwards, to which Calista grabbed his hand and pulled him back. I glared. "Gentlemen, I give you Zael!" She pushed him forward a bit as the Count threw an arm towards him. "Our saviour!" More whispers were heard, not all of them good. I wanted to object, but I was still upset with him, so I didn't. "He will allow us to achieve our greatest ambition. To destroy the Gurak and bring peace to the Empire." Zael would have looked fine to anyone else, but to his friends he looked nervous and twitchy.

The Count then turned back to the crowd. "We have already dealt the Gurak a significant blow by assaulting their front-line base. Now I shall make these two, Zael and Dagran, knights in training and retainers of my court in order to assure our victory." My head jolted up in surprise. Right, because they did all the work… then I realised that I didn't want to be a knight anyway, so I really didn't care other than the fact that Syrenne, Lowell, Mirania, and myself were completely unmentioned when we did just as much as they had, only in a less problematic way. "Grant them your full support." I looked around the room for facial expressions and stopped when I got to Jiral. It was great, he was so angry, I could see the steam coming from his ears. Then I became a little confused. Zael looked towards Calista and, instead of fawning over him like she usually did, she looked away almost as if she was ashamed of him.

I wonder what happened…