Disclaimer: I own no part of Pirates of the Caribbean. Original characters and plots are owned by me.

Chapter 12

Shattered

It was as if the floor had fallen away under my feet. Anguished shock broke over me like some monstrous wave crashing ashore, and I stood motionless, drenched in betrayal. But in the next instant, my father's temper, heretofore dormant, seemed to explode within me.

Baring my teeth, I lunged at the woman and grabbed her by the hair. "Get out!" I shouted. I dragged her to her feet and shoved her into the day room. Snatching her petticoats off the bed, I turned to Hector with murder in my eyes and pointed at the woman.

"Pay her!" I demanded. "This damned well isn't her fault!"

As Hector made haste to give her some coins, I strode across the day room. I threw open the door, and flung her petticoats out upon the deck. By now, I was shaking with fury.

"Keep moving!" I ordered her.

She held the coins nonchalantly in one hand. "I'm not leavin' 'ere before I've dressed," she sniffed.

"You danced on that table without being dressed," I put my hand on the hilt of my scimitar and felt the muscles in my shoulders begin to tighten, like an animal about to spring. "Get out. Now." Hector watched from across the room, keeping utterly still. He was gazing at me as though a wild lion had let itself into his quarters, and one false move might prove fatal to him.

The woman departed with a smirk and I slammed the door after her.

Hector made a few attempts at clearing his throat, and I realised he was far from sober. "I thought ye were at the Faithful Bride," he mumbled.

"And I thought you were true to me," I snapped, my eyes flashing fire. "Apparently, we're both wrong."

"I know yer wonderin'-," he began, but I interrupted.

"Indeed I am. I'm wondering what you do while I'm in London, since this is what you do when I'm right here."

"Damn London!" he shouted suddenly. "That be all ye want – to go back to London so's ye can gallivant with rakehells!"

My temper soared to match his. "Gallivant with rakehells? How? By escaping from prison? Or having the King throw a smelly old wig at me?"

"I should never have agreed t' yer joinin' the court!" Red-faced, he began lecturing me loudly. "They're hangers-on; every man-jack of 'em lookin' fer a quick romp with a silly moll."

"How dare you!" I shouted. Narrowing my eyes, I went on in steely tones. "I doubt not that you've amply consoled yourself in Tortuga, sir. And the men you call hangers-on are poets, diplomats, philosophers . . ."

"I call 'em what they are, madam!" he bellowed. "If you're too bewitched by the glitter t' see it, 'tis no concern o' mine." He began to pace about the room.

"If I've been bewitched by anyone it was you!" I glared at him, my hands on my hips. "But no longer!"

Hector stopped moving, and watched as I marched to the door and turned to face him.

He took a step towards me. "Don't you dare follow me," I said in a quiet, threatening voice, wanting to put a million miles between myself and Hector Barbossa. I walked out, slamming the door.

At first, I had a momentary fear that he would come after me and begin another row or worse, but thankfully, he did not. There must have been something in my voice, an echo of my father, perhaps. Whatever it was, I suspected that he didn't quite dare to cross me.

Tears stung my eyes as I seized my duffel and left the Medusa, not caring who saw me or what they might think. My emotions overran me, swirling like a storm tide, and my only thought was to find refuge. Fortunately, everyone was still in town; the ships and dock were deserted. Without pausing to think, I quickly boarded the Pearl.

I slung the duffel over my shoulder and climbed the ratlines to the dark, empty crow's nest. There I huddled, hugging my knees, until the shock and outrage faded, leaving only the hurt. When I could no longer keep hold of my anger, my body sagged. At last, I lay on my side and began sobbing.

Long ago, Hector had told me to save my tears for when I needed them. What a foolish saying that was! I had more than enough, and always would.

How could I ever have thought it would end differently? I should never have believed him. He had probably tired of me only days after my return. Perhaps he had thought to hand me off to Jeremy. My aching chest felt hollow, scraped clean of fleshy tissue, scorched from the inside, like the empty gourds my uncle would bring back from exotic places.

Now I would be alone forever. I had always known that Hector could produce the greatest joy in me, and by that same power, he could inflict the greatest pain. I had taken that chance, trusted and loved him, and this was the result.

The worst was that, even now, I desperately wanted him to say or do something that would close the wound he had made. I would have gone to him at once, and never looked back. But he wouldn't, and I couldn't. Everything was broken, ruined.

At first, no one interrupted my solitude. But after I had given vent to my despair for an hour or so, I heard the ratlines creak and sway under a heavy weight. Someone was climbing them. Still curled into a ball, I lifted my head to see who it was.

"It's no use, Brat," said a familiar voice. "I always know where to find you." Jack's head popped up through the opening next to the mast.

He surveyed the scene for a moment, as I lay there, unmoving. "So . . . how long do you mean to stay here?" he finally asked, squinting his cat-like eyes.

"Until I die," I replied dully, and lowered my head again.

"Ah! Well, no worries, then." I heard him climb down the ratlines.

I wanted everyone to keep away. I wanted to disappear forever. I imagined the Pearl far in the future, derelict, abandoned. I would still be lying in the crow's nest, withered and desiccated, with my horribly broken heart. I embraced the pyrrhic image with a kind of grim satisfaction, turning it over and over in my mind.

The ratlines pulled and creaked again, and Jack said, "Here y' go, love. You'll be needin' this."

I opened my eyes and found him holding out a lily. "I'll bring the priest next," he remarked, laying the flower next to me.

"I presume you know what happened," I said, regarding him ruefully. "I suppose you're glad. You did warn me." He wedged himself into the nest, and, with difficulty, found room to sit cross-legged beside me.

"Darlin'," he said. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, remember? Of course I know what happened. The question is – do you?" He pointed a finger at me.

I was bewildered. "What is there to know? He had that-that woman from the tavern lounging in our bed! Must I draw you a picture?"

Jack winced. "Not his finest hour, I admit." Then he surprised me, adding, "But we all make mistakes."

"Why would you say that?" I asked. "You hate him, wholeheartedly."

"Indeed! Wholeheartedly! But . . ." he hesitated, holding one finger against his chin for a moment. "There's Cotton's parrot to consider." He sighed. "Though it pains me to say it, darlin', as I listened to that parrot blow the gaff on you lovebirds, it struck me that I've never heard either of you sound quite so happy."

I gulped, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

Jack leaned towards me. "He makes you happy, mouse. Don't deny it, an' don't go flingin' it away, unless you're dead certain you won't regret it."

Perhaps my heart was not a charred cinder after all, because some tender longing stirred in its ashes at Jack's words. "You want us to reconcile because you truly feel that we make each other happy?"

He turned wary at this, his eyes looking off to one side. "Aye."

So there was more to it. "And what other reason might there be?" I probed. "You're a wonderful liar, Jack, but you may as well tell me."

He grinned. "Good old Brat – should've known you'd twig it." Then, gesturing with one ringed finger, he explained in a conspiratorial voice. "I hear Norrington's planning to sail to a city of gold. In spite of the fact that 'is previous ship was somehow"-his fingers made a rippling motion-"made away with." A gleam appeared in his eyes. "Now. It'd be a shame to fill only one ship with that gold when there's more 'n enough for two. But, if you and your dearly beloved were to patch things up, then Jeremy might be persuaded to do the prudent thing.

"And that is?" Somehow, I knew what was coming.

"Take two ships instead of one to this lost city. Better protection against mysterious vessels, savvy? An' pay 'em both with the gold that's lyin' about."

I sat bolt upright, marvelling at his sheer effrontery. "The second ship being the Pearl."

He frowned as if he were mentally ticking off a list of ships, then answered, "Yup. That's the one."

"Take him yourself," I retorted.

Jack shook his head. "Not on the Pearl, love. I'm not havin' Jeremy Norrington snoopin' about when I've got Sao Feng's map aboard. He needs to be on another ship – your ship."

I was incredulous. "And so I am supposed to sail with a man who has shown every indication of wishing to repudiate his marriage to me, your own sister? A man I discovered in the midst of his low pleasures with that—that creature from the Bride? Just so you can enrich yourself? Is that what you're asking?"

My brother lowered his head a bit, and I saw his eyes travel from one side of the crow's nest to the other. Then he lifted his head and looked at me brightly. "Aye!" he said with a pleased little smile. "I like the way you've put it."

"I thought you were bent on finding the Fountain," I said.

"It's the map, darlin'. Not workin'." He locked eyes with me. "But I could do with some gold. Can't keep seekin' the bloody thing when I'm skint, savvy? A ship costs money."

I exhaled, and thought. If I could ignore my shattered marriage, I could actually see a benefit in this. If Hector and Jack went with Jeremy, they would be safe from the Fountain.

Jack interrupted my train of thought. "By the by, Lizzie wants to see you. She's in me quarters, an' no one's about." He held up a hand, forestalling my protest. "All I'm sayin' is, hear her out, eh? Will ye do that? You can always pop back up 'ere an' die later on, if ye like."

I was absolutely convinced that the confident 'Lizzie' had never known heartache and estrangement from a loved one, but I allowed Jack the victory, and went down to the Pearl's day room. Elizabeth was sitting at the table, waiting for me with a serious look on her face.

Frowning, she took in my distressed appearance in one sweeping glance, and set her mouth in a firm line. "I must speak plainly," she said. Obviously, she knew my predicament.

I twisted my hands together in my lap. "Don't make excuses for him," I said, with a touch of my old anger. "He's sure to have it all worked out."

I drew myself up straight and began to mimic Hector glibly explaining it all. "I swear she were cold and shiverin', sweetheart, and I only brought her aboard because I pitied her. Then her clothes be wet, so I made her take them off to dry them, and sent her to bed to stay warm!" I sank back in my seat, folded my arms tightly, and glared at Elizabeth. "That's how dull and backward he thinks me!"

She looked shocked. "He most certainly does not!" Then she regarded me intently. "Think, now: what did you actually see? Was he with her?"

"I arrived too early for that," I said scornfully. "Thanks to feeling sick all day. No, I saw two tankards and a bottle of rum in the day room. That's where he was, and then she called out from the sleeping room – from our bed, if you please."

To my surprise, Elizabeth nodded. "That fits perfectly. Look – I'll tell you what I know, and then you can judge for yourself."

"As you wish," I said, privately vowing not to be moved by anything she said.

"When I saw you this morning," she began, "I had just been listening to Jeremy tell Barbossa that he was ordering you along on his mission, and intending to see that you went back to court afterwards. As he put it, 'where she clearly belongs, and longs to be'. He's been convincing Barbossa all along that you didn't want to be here."

"I don't understand," I stammered.

But I recalled Jeremy saying that I must have something or know something. Something that he needed for his mission. He was trying to isolate me, the better to place me under his control.

"Before you came along," Elizabeth was saying, "I had only seen Barbossa show affection to that monkey!" She peered at me. "Can't you see how he loves you? He's afraid he is losing you." Jumping up from her seat in exasperation, she began walking about, rubbing her belly with one hand.

"I kept watching the two of you in the taproom!" she said. "Every time he looked over at you, you were pretending to flirt with Jeremy."

"Not so!" I objected.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not – but that's what it looked like to Barbossa. So then he would scowl and start paying attention to those - women. And of course then you would turn to look at him! It kept happening and happening, until I thought I'd go mad! I was ready to scream at the both of you to just stop it!"

She returned to her seat and continued. "When Jeremy left the table, I'm sure it was no coincidence. He must have paid that woman to approach Barbossa and leave with him. Jeremy was probably going to wait a bit longer and then suggest that you go back to the Medusa. But you didn't feel well, and that prompted you to leave sooner." She gave me an odd look. "Are you still having the green sickness?"

"Somewhat," I replied, my mind on Hector and the woman. "But he did go back with her."

Elizabeth sighed. "Yes, he did. And I won't sit here and tell you he's a saint. If you hadn't come back, . . ." She shrugged, conceding the point. "But Nina - he's an older man who, well, let's just say that, although I know what he means to you, he's not everyone's cup of tea. Why would he turn down an offer like that when he thinks he's already lost you?"

She saw me wavering, and offered her final argument. "And the fact is, you seem to have walked in before the worst could happen."

That was true. I sat silent for a while. "We fought," I finally said in a choked voice. "It was awful. And now I can't make myself trust him. Not the way I did before. I've felt enough pain in the past hour to last me a lifetime."

Elizabeth shrugged. "I didn't say it would be easy to mend fences. But I have found out one thing about marriage." She looked very earnest as she advised me. "It has its bliss and its sorrows. At times it's quite painful," she looked off for a moment, and I thought I saw a slight flush of emotion on her face. "But it will change again, and you'll see the beauty in it. And you won't understand how you could ever have let it get into such a bad state to begin with."

She glanced at me. "You should wash your face before you see him," she said. "I want you to try to put things back in order with Barbossa. After tomorrow, I won't be here, handing out advice." She smiled regretfully. "I'm staying behind because of my confinement – I can't risk a voyage of unknown duration just now. Rufus is taking me to his daughter Jen in St Thomas. I'll probably see you after the birth."

This was dismal news to me, but I tried to be gracious. "I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother," I said.

Elizabeth gave me a conspiratorial smile. "It'll be you next," she said. "Unless I'm wrong about those queasy feelings."

I caught my breath, stunned, and she laughed. "You didn't think about it? When was your last flux?"

"Angels of heaven," I said quietly. "Does everyone know but me?"

"Not at all," she assured me. "In fact, I think Rufus and I are the only two who thought so."

"I must get back to the ship," I said, without any notion of what I intended to do.

"I'll walk with you." Elizabeth rose from her chair. "But let me caution you before I go: you must be more careful around Jeremy. No one knows what his mission really is. Remember the people who followed us? We still don't know who they are. Are they agents or forces being directed by the court? Or by someone else? You absolutely must take care."

Then I thought of Ponce de Leon's journal, my father's log book, and my uncle's record of his Messenger activities. Better secure all of these out of Jeremy's reach, and Elizabeth would be the perfect one to do that.

"Will you take a few of my things with you?" I asked. "I need to leave them with someone I trust, which means either you or Rufus."

She agreed, and that left me with one last concern. "How can I slip past Jeremy? He must be back by now. What must he think has happened?"

As I spoke, Jack sauntered into the room. "Nah, 'e ain't back. After you left, he had a bit more rum – but you know how Tortuga is." He gave me a dazzling smile. "Sometimes the rum comes with a bit of somethin' extra in it. Anyway, he's sleepin' it off on the floor of the Bride." He handed me something; Jeremy's coat.

"You owe me, Brat. Normally, I'd have kept this, but I'm choosing t' help you instead." He rocked back on his heels.

I nodded. "Take on all the supplies you can, Jack. I think it's going to be a long voyage."

-0-

Elizabeth accompanied me back to the Medusa. As we boarded her, Hector was standing on the main deck, a tall, shadowy silhouette, but Elizabeth left me and made for her cabin without stopping. I stalked across the deck, brushing straight past Hector without a word. I let myself into the day room, and after a moment, Hector followed me.

We stared at each other, each trying to decide how angry the other was. Hector spoke first.

"Well . . . there be no doubt whose daughter ye be." He waited, but I made no reply.

"I'm glad ye came back," he said, tentatively. "I know it ain't in yer nature."

I nodded. I knew my own tendency to flee hurtful situations. Still watching each other, and moving like two hostages held at gunpoint, we slowly made our way to the table, and pulled out two chairs. We settled into them, face to face, with a good distance in between.

I looked at the floor, then took a deep breath. "I know what most London women would say: don't trouble myself. No husband keeps to his own wife . . ." Then I cleared my throat, but found I couldn't go on.

"But ye ain't 'most women'," Hector said. When I made no remark, he plunged ahead. "I know ye be better fitted fer court – that ye crave a proper home instead o' this . . ." He waved his arm, taking in everything around us.

"You're being absurd! It sounds to me like a perfect justification for your own inclination to stray from a woman you no longer love. Where did you get such a notion? Did you ask me if it were true?"

He started to frown. "Ask ye? When ye'd hardly spare a word fer me? I heard it from yer friend Norrington. Ye seemed t' have enough t' say to him!"

"And so, rather than ask me, you consulted your injured pride and leapt to the wrong conclusion."

He pounced on this. "Just as yer doin' with me! I had no designs on that bawd, I assure ye!"

I knew him better than that. I could accept that he had felt slighted by me. And I knew that I had caught him before he could consummate his faithlessness. But now he seemed bent on denying any involvement, and I wasn't having it.

I narrowed my eyes accusingly. "I suppose I'm unkind if I point out that she was waiting for you in our bed." It was physically painful to say my next words, but I had my evidence. "You never remove your hat except to sleep or make love. And yet there it was, on the table. How can you lie to me so?"

"All right," he said, suddenly impatient. "I'll give ye the truth of it. She said she wanted t' see the ship . . ."

I shook my head violently. "Don't," I said. "I can't bear to hear it-how she did this and you did that."

He thought for a moment, then tried to talk me round. "Ye know, if I truly meant t' be unfaithful, I swear ye'd never find out. 'Tis ye that comes first fer me, always."

"Stop talking about it! None of this is helping." My cheeks and eyes were growing warm as tears began to wet my eyes.

I gulped, and he came to me in one lunging step, taking my hands and kneeling in front of me so that our faces were level. "If ye won't hear me, if ye won't let me in, then how can I set things right again?"

"What do words matter if I don't believe them?" I was sad and weary, with no heart for maintaining this fight. The longing for him was killing me. He watched me expectantly.

"You've lost my trust," I said. "Deeds, not words, matter to me. If you truly wish to amend matters, let us first have an armistice. Make good on your word. Accept Jeremy's proposal and see it through. After all is finished, we can turn to the matter of our marriage. But I make no promise in return. Do this without conditions, or don't do it at all."

"So that be the only way to make it up to ye?" he pressed me.

I bit my lip and nodded.

"Then so be it." He was still on one knee, reaching out to caress my hair. He pulled me forward and we kissed. The warmth of his full lips, the soft rasp of his whiskers on my face nearly undid me. I put one hand on his shoulder and took in every detail, feeling the familiar texture of his coat, the scent of the woolly fabric, the shape of his back, and the beloved stray hairs that caught under my hand.

I drew back after a moment. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "I need . . . time." But, oh, how I wanted to rest my broken heart against the shoulder of the very man who had caused it! To let him comfort and soothe me as only he could.

I stood up. "Tomorrow, you should tell Jeremy he can use the Medusa," I said wearily. "He's not entitled to dig around for reasons." Our eyes met, and he nodded agreement.

"I'll see ye at breakfast, Mistress Bitter," he said softly.

Next: Chapter 13 – Armistice – Jeremy acquires two partners in his venture, whilst Nina and Barbossa work on rebuilding what was destroyed.