Not for the first time, he asked himself what he was doing there. The venue was too fancy, the food was sophisticated and overrated, the people were schmoozy and fake, and the one person he was actually there for was too busy being celebrated at her own engagement party to really much notice or care if he was there at all.
Okay, that was a little harsh. Rory had greeted him warmly when he'd arrived, and even Daniel had seemed genuine enough, though a bit stiff in his formal suit, when thanking him for coming. Jess was never one to lie to himself, and he suspected a lot of his irritation had more to do with his unresolved feelings of anger when he thought about the whole affair, than anything else. He hadn't been able to unpack that, those feelings of negativity toward Rory's engagement, but he was at least doing his best to bury them. He figured if he made it through hors d'oeuvres before ducking out, he could consider it a success.
Rory, for her part, looked beautiful in her role of radiant bride-to-be. Her soft chiffon dress swirled out around her below the cinched waist, and she was the perfect blend of sweet and sophisticated. Her color was high and her eyes were bright as she made her way around the room, accepting well wishes and laughing with family and friends.
For Jess, the evening dragged on as he stubbornly refused to make small talk with any of the other guests. Aside from sitting in his seat stoically and being generally disagreeable, Jess would find himself scanning the room for Rory every few minutes, against his better judgment. For better or for worse, he was drawn to her.
He'd surprised himself by making it to the sit-down dinner portion of the evening, and he was halfway through the duck confit when he noticed the tension in her shoulders and the anxiety around her eyes. He'd seen her panic before, and though she was doing a good job avoiding a scene, he recognized her distress a mile away; he'd had plenty of practice. No one else seemed to notice the urgent exchange between Daniel and her, until Daniel's voice began to rise. Jess thought he caught Rory's eyes widening before she ushered them both through a side door into the kitchen. Jess scanned the room and his eyes met Lorelai's. She looked alarmed too, but shrugged slightly, conveying a sense of "I don't know, let's give them a minute?" wordlessly across the hall.
Jess gave them twelve, before he made his way across the room, worried. His gut was telling him something was seriously wrong.
He didn't see her at first when he opened the door. She was sitting on the floor against the far wall, knees drawn up to her chest, staring blankly ahead. She didn't look up as he approached her.
"Hey, Ror, you okay?" he asked softly, crouching down in front of her.
She finally looked up, dazed. It took her a minute before she spoke, "He's gone."
Jess tried to keep his concern for her off his face; even with their shared history, he'd never seen her look like this before, so completely lost and uncertain. He touched her arm gently and nodded slightly. "You wanna tell me what happened?"
"He left. He just-," she laughed shortly, "-just said he couldn't handle it, the pressure, the socialites, my grandparents…" She finally really looked at Jess for the first time, and as if feeling the need to defend herself, went on, "We'd talked about this. He said it was fine, said he was okay with it, that it was no big deal… Until it was, I guess."
Her hands were starting to shake, and Jess took them into his own. "Okay. Rory, it's okay. When is he coming back?"
Her face crumpled and she shrugged. "I don't think he is." Her voice was small as she continued, "He said he had to get out of here and I told him he couldn't just leave, but he was already halfway out the door; he said he was sorry and I told him if he left then that was it; that I couldn't forgive that." She was crying now, tears running down her face; "And he walked out. God, all those people… what am I going to tell everyone? I can't go back out there, Jess, I can't-"
"Hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay," he said as he slid down next to her against the wall and gathered her into his arms. "It's going to be okay. We'll figure this out. We always do; it's okay."
She crumpled into him and he held her through her shaky tears, hurt and humiliation and hopelessness pouring out of her.
"You'd tell me, right?" she asked after a moment. "If there was… if there was something wrong with me?"
"Rory."
"Some reason that I'm not worth… staying for? I was never enough to make my father stay; Logan didn't want me enough to wait for me; you moved across the country; and now, Daniel."
"Hey. Daniel's an idiot who has no idea what he's losing. He was never worthy of you, Rory; he never came close to deserving you. You are not flawed. You're- you are rare and beautiful and brilliant and it kills me to see you question that."
"I don't know, Jess. At some point you have to stop blaming everyone else and start looking at yourself, right? And I can't- I can't keep doing this. If I just know then I can stop trying. It hurts too much, Jess. It hurts too much. I can't do it again."
"Hey." He cupped her cheek in his hand and waited until her eyes met his, "You will find it, Rory. You are worth so much more than this. I promise you, you will find it."
Her eyes slid shut as she leaned into his hand. He kissed the top of her head as he said, "And I came back, didn't I? I'm here, Rory. I'm right here."