Prompt: Kensi x Deeks: H2O.
She's wet and shivering and he's panting with his hands on his hips, still tired from dragging Sam out of the ocean. Neither one of them is quite sure how Callen and Sam went from being trapped underwater in a submarine to floating almost lifeless in the ocean. Questions will be asked later, after oxygen masks are removed and the level of panic among the entire team subsides.
"We almost lost them." Kensi rubs her wet arms, plaid shirt and jeans clinging to her body. "Like, we really almost lost them."
"I know," Deeks responds softly as he runs a hand through his dripping hair. He glances over at the ambulances where their senior partners are receiving medical attention. Flashes of a previous time, almost one year ago exactly, invade his memory. He and Sam were the ones being rushed into ambulances then. Who knows which of them it will be next time. "No matter how good we are at our jobs...sometimes it's just not good enough."
"It could have been us."
"Don't say that." Deeks closes his eyes and shakes his head. Tiny droplets of water fall to his face with the fast motion. "It wasn't us." He doesn't want to open his eyes, because he can feel her staring at him as if he will magically say something to make her feel better. But he just doesn't know if he can do it right now.
"Not this time."
"Kens. Stop."
"No," she says firmly, closing the already small gap between them. "You're hiding it again."
Deeks still doesn't want to open his eyes and face her. He can feel her energy radiating so, so very close to him. "What is this 'it' you're talking about?"
"I don't know exactly." She wraps a hand around his wrist and suddenly he feels a little bit warmer. "But you have that look on your face again. The one you get when you want to say something but you're afraid of the response you'll get."
"Wow." Opening his eyes again, he looks down at his partner. Her proximity to him is a little unsettling and comforting at the same time. They never have been very good at respecting personal space. "You think you've got me figured out, huh?"
"And you're avoiding the original question."
Deeks narrows his eyes for a moment and thinks about how he's actually going to answer the question. The only time he'd been completely truthful with her was after his torture, when he was already is such a fragile and vulnerable state that he just let it all out for her. But they've been through so much, together and apart, in the last year. They both deserve a little bit of honesty in a difficult time. "I almost lost you a couple of months ago and it almost killed me. I just don't want to think about, you know...when it actually does happen."
"Why does it have to be when now instead of if?" Kensi asks, shrugging her shoulders. "Plenty of agents grow old and gray and have retirement parties and live out the rest of their lives happily in their condos on the beach."
He frowns. "Okay, but how many partners grow old and gray together?"
"Are you saying you want to grow old and gray with me?"
"I-" Deeks makes a face. "Maybe. I don't want to do it without you." The ambulance catches his eye again, and he nervously looks away from her for a second. "Is that the same thing?"
"Close enough." Kensi smiles and slides her hand from his wrist down to his hand, intertwining her cold fingers with his. "I think about it every day too, you know. Wondering when we go out in the field, if it will be the last time. And it could be."
Deeks is very aware of how close she is to him and completely unaware of anything going on around him anymore. "That's my biggest fear. Even more so than losing myself in all of this, I'm scared of losing you."
She blinks rapidly and tilts her head back. "Me too. No wonder we're such good partners."
Honesty; he is a little proud of himself for being capable of it again. Her eyes are wide and full of emotion, and just the fact that she hasn't pushed his feelings to the wayside encourages him to continue. He pushes a wet strand of hair from her cheek and allows his fingers to linger there. "I meant what I said earlier. Even though you look kinda like a drowned rat right now. You are so beautiful."
He can't tell if the drop of water that fell on his hand came from her hair or her eyes. All he knows is that something more powerful than his fear is pulling him towards her and he can't seem to stop it. His lips brush hers softly at first, and it doesn't matter that they're freezing cold and wet and clammy because it feels like a wildfire spreading between them that just continues to get stronger with each passing second.
The likelihood of them growing old together on the job isn't good, and they both know it. But maybe today they will be able to start living a new way; instead of facing each new day with fear, they will live it as if it's their last.