Author's Note: I'm still alive...but very grounded, and let me tell you, doing all your stuff on your cellphone at night when you should be sleeping is a bit suffering. (Wtf I literally just used the men's restroom at church. I am indeed a young man. I don't see why this is so difficult for them to understand.)
Ehhhh, who cares? Anyway, this chapter is nicer, no angst, nothing bad. Akame ga Kill Every Character You Love is already bad enough, we don't need anything too sad in the fanfiction, too.
Uh this gets kinda racy, but not the borderline-porn type of racy. It's solely for an attempt at humor but that's not a thing I'm good at so. (Also used to slip in a pairing I'm 98% sure hasn't even occurred to anyone.)
(I don't regret the ship mentioned in this. I cannot be stopped. Not now, not ever.)
One-seventeen in the morning and Lubbock stood outside Run's bedroom window tapping at the thin glass with his index finger because he couldn't remember Leone's apartment number, if she had even mentioned it in the first place. But who even answered a tapping at their window—especially living in a shady part of town—before calling the police and without having a knife at the ready, anyway?
Run, apparently, as he pushed up the window, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. "Ah...Lubbock, it's rather early, to be visiting, isn't it?"
"Sorry, but it's kind of a long story. Leone still up?"
"She's out in the living room watching something with a friend of hers, I believe. Something about gay angels and hot men, I believe, so I suppose you should be prepared to walk into something rather questionable."
"Yeah, thanks." He bowed respectfully—compulsively, as had become a habit of his—and headed to the main room of the small apartment.
Leone twisted her body to look over the back of the couch. "Get over here. I need someone else to watch TV with, since Tatsumi's fallen asleep on me!"
Not a Hello. Not a I don't want to see your stupid face right now. Not even a What are you doing at my house without even calling in advance first?
"Gay angels and hot men? No thanks, that doesn't really sound like something that would interest me."
She rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote to pause it. "Fine, fine, at least hang out with me a while, then." She glanced over at a brunet boy lying on the other side of the couch, bundled up in a brown coat and hugging a pillow against his chest. "Just don't fall asleep like he promised he wouldn't. Which brings up something kind of important—you hear any sounds from his general direction, and you're gonna wanna ignore it. He can get a bit loud."
Briefly, Lubbock considered asking something about it, but as proper and elegant as he had to act, he still was a teenage boy and was quickly able to understand what Leone was getting at.
"Anyway, you plan on staying very long?"
He shrugged and sat down on the back of the couch. "I need to stay here for a little bit. Like, a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months."
"Hey, congrats! You've gotten out of the house. That's good! And you've come to the right place. Run makes the best food, he talks on the phone like a teenage girl with his Science teacher, I've been here for almost two weeks and I've already got the best friends ever, and back to Run—we could go through his whole room while he's out. And we can marathon crappy movies and MST3K the hell out of them."
"MST3K?"
"You don't know what MST3K is? Dude! Screw Supernatural, we're watching Boggy Creek!" She got up, grabbed his wrist, and looked over at Tatsumi. "That's a nice pillow, so if there's cum on it when I get back, I swear I'm going to kill you." She pulled him down the hallway to her room and showed him to a huge box of movies. "Ignore the really cheesy stuff, most of that is Run's. Honestly, he's the only guy out there who can watch a stupid rom-com and then get off on reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Which, by the way, you should stay far away from."
"Rape, abuse, all that fun stuff. Enljoying things like that in fiction is perfectly fine, but it's not really my thing. The writing is sub-par, too. It's mostly just an embarrassment to literature in general, in my opinion."
"Ah, yes, a fine young Englishman like yourself is far more interested in the words of ancient poets. You are utterly astounding when put beside an uncultured swine such as myself." The half-decent British accent mixed oddly with her usual slight French one, but that just made it more amusing.
Lubbock snorted. "Yeah, a fine young Englishman. Right."
"Nah, you could never fit that image." She grinned and ruffled his hair before returning to the movies in the box. Once she found what she was looking for, she showed him the cover of the case and half-dragged the boy back to the main room.
"What's that even about?"
"Mystery Science Theater 3000—there's a whole bunch of these. Basically, this guy is stuck up in space with a few robots, and he's being held there by an evil scientist who forces him to watch the worst movies in existence. He watches them with a couple of his robot friends and they just trash on the movies the entire time. It's one of the greatest forms of entertainment ever, and I can't believe you don't even know what it is." She got down on her knees in front of the DVD player and put the disc in. She went back to grab the remote and the screen switched, white letters in the corner saying BD/DVD for a brief moment before disappearing.
Instead of sitting beside Leone, Lubbock decided to sit down on the back of the couch again. "People actually make things like that?"
"Yeah, and it's great." She grabbed his hips and pulled him down onto her lap. "Get down here, it's more comfortable."
He bit the inside of his mouth to keep from saying anything that had already earned him a hard slap at school, though he wasn't sure how much a girl like Leone would be bothered by the perverted comments that near-constantly ran through his head. She was probably in the higher tier of low-class, whereas no one below upper middle-class—so all the uptight ladies and gentleman who took things too seriously and were far too sensitive—was even allowed to attend his school, not on scholarship or otherwise. And she seemed like enough of a pervert herself, anyway.
But he still decided not to say anything and turn his attention to the movie instead.
It was late in the morning when he woke up—perhaps around eleven thirty or twelve, or possibly even later. He sat up and yawned, rubbing at his eyes.
"You up yet, Sleeping Beauty?"
Leone's voice came from across the room, where the blond was sprawled out on the floor with a book that had a foreign title. He didn't excel in French, but he could tell that it wasn't anything too happy.
"Sorry," he mumbled, vaguely aware of the English accent lacing his speech. It still took a conscious effort to stop using it, and it was a bit hard to make a conscious effort to do anything right after just waking up. "I can't get up without an alarm. I'm a bit useless and I failed to unpack last night. I'm not opposed to helping out with work around the house to make up for my little blunder."
"Dude, what? Who am I talking to? Who do you think you're talking to?"
"Oh. Oh. Force of habit, I guess..."
She rolled her eyes, tossing her book to the side and rolling onto her stomach to push herself up to her feet. "Just get changed and whatever. I'll get some cereal for you. Run's not here today, so hey, we could go through his stuff. Before one, though. Tatsumi went to the gym this morning, but one is when he and his not-boyfriend will be back here to pick us up to go on a hike. Well, pick me up. You don't have to go."
"A hike?" Lubbock thought about it for a few moments. He was excellent at football, but only for about a quarter before he had to switch out and rest—and Leone looked as if she could be just fine after running five miles without any kind of break. But it was just a hike, surely nothing too extreme. "Yeah, sounds like fun."
"Hell yeah!" She grinned. "I'll be right back. And you'll have to eat fast. It's more fun to go through someone else's stuff when you've got an accomplice!"
As she headed to the kitchenette, he quickly pulled off his clothing and dressed in something clean in easily under a minute. It was one of the few talents he had picked up from years of rushing to get ready in the morning.
"Damn, that was fast," Leone chucked as she handed him a bowl of an extremely generic version of Cheerios.
Another talent was eating extremely quickly, on the mornings when he chose to eat at all. He brought the bowl up to his mouth, drinking the milk and swallowing the generic Cheerios along with it. Cereal was much simpler than what he was used to being served for breakfast, and contrary to most other opinions, it was a nice change from what he was used to and most certainly wouldn't get boring too quickly.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and leaned into the kitchen to throw the bowl into the sink.
"Ready now?"
"Ready." He returned the mischievous grin on Leone's face as he followed her down the short hallway and into her brother's room.
"You look under his bed and I'll check the closet. Those are the two places he will never talk about. He's definitely hiding something! I already know he's got some sex toys and shit, but I wonder what else..."
"We're about to find out." Lubbock got down on his hands and knees, pu pushing up the sheet that draped over the bed and hid whatever was underneath it and tucking it under the mattress. And holy crap—a wide assortment of novels. Among the collection were titles like The Whippingham Papers, The Way of a Man with a Maid, The Romance of Lust, and even one entitled—
"Lolita. I've found Lolita. What, is your brother a pedophile? Eugh."
"The hell? I don't even know what he's doing with something like that. I've known him for seven years, and I can tell you, he's into chics with big tits and mature bodies. Maybe it's just the smut that—" She cut herself off with a string of barely-audible cuss words, voice trembling slightly as she tried to suppress laughter. "Lubba, get over here! Oh my God...!"
Lubbock got up from the floor and quickly stumbled over to the closet. "What is it?"
"I know for complete sure he kept a ball gag, a whip, a collar, and a leash in here. I was just messing around when I first found all of that, and then he swore me to secrecy, and I promised to forget about it all. He had hella nice lingerie in here, too, but it's a little suspicious that it was white and gold."
"Then what'd he do with it? Where else is there to put it?"
"Don't know, but I might have some idea." She gasped suddenly and pulled a pair of sky blue panties with black lace from the back of the closet. "Oh my God! These would fit me! She's only like a size smaller than I am, and the color scheme matches up, so... Christ, these belong to his teacher!"
"I thought that was just something you'd hear rumors about or see on the telly. You're sure those are hers?"
"Yeah, totally hers. Right color scheme, right size. And he said he was going over to Miss Esdeath's house to help grade tests, but I bet that's where all the kinky shit's at." She chucked, tossing the panties back where she picked them up from. "Can't say as I blame him. Completely into dick, but hey, if I absolutely had to bang a chic, it'd have to be her. ...Huh, I wonder how long it takes for him to come undone..."
Before anything else could be said, there was a knock at the door. Lubbock assumed it must have been Tatsumi.
"Coming!" Leone called, turning to leave the room.
Lubbock took a step back to get out of her way, but somehow managed to trip them both in the process. The blond landed on top of him—elbows on either side of his head, breasts pressing against his chest, and one of her knees between his legs.
"...U-uh..." he stuttered, not really sure of what to say. "Are we..."
"Having a moment?" Leone finished as she got to her feet and helped him up as well. "Yeah, I guess it's right to call it that. Sorry, I totally just fell right over!"
"No reason to apologize, it was kind of just... Hey, there are people at the door. It's kind of impolite to keep your guests waiting and all."
"Yeah, yeah. Nothing happened, right? So there's nothing to make shit awkward, now or later."
"Yeah... Nothing at all."
Author's Note: (No Run you misunderstand, there's not even a lot of questionable content in that show)
This is hella shitty, sorry. Kinda short, too... ^-^;; I've been working on a novel and being busy trying to get ungrounded, and I got pretty sick. Is anyone even still interested in this after the little hiatus?
Mind joining me in the little headcanon corner? Run is very into erotica (especially the stuff directed at women) and very into sadomasochism because why not. I also think Leone would totally love stuff like Haven and Supernatural, with things like Boy Meets World on the side. (Also lots of MST3K.) But that's just me.
Er...I feel like there's just more and more swearing, too... I'm a bit of a foulmouthed person, so it just kinda seems natural to me, but is it too much? Should I cut back a bit?
Next chapter will have less author's notes (who's even reading all of these anyway I mean come on). But it will have some Tatsumi and Bulat, some Sayo and Ieyasu on a Skype call (does anyone even care though), and more Leone and Lubbock being dumb. I'll try getting it up like maybe next week or something.
(It's 3am so please forgive any mistakes)