Prompt: Deeks gets stabbed.
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Going back to LAPD to help catch a gun smuggling ring was supposed to be his chance at redemption, to prove his worth as a cop and undercover operative and decent human being. Right now, he is pretty sure none of those things are true. He has gone too far for his cover, and nearly lost himself in the process. The lengths he has gone to this time to prove Max's loyalty- the guns, the drugs, the violence- haven't been worth it.
"It's so easy to be us though, isn't it?"
Max's voice taunts his mind, or maybe it's his own voice. These days he has trouble distinguishing the difference between the two characters of Marty Deeks and Max Gentry. He is starting to wonder if they might actually be one and the same. Marty wouldn't have beaten a suspect within an inch of his life for punching his partner. Max wouldn't have tears in his eyes as he lay perfectly still on the cold floor of this abandoned warehouse, trying to pretend the blade in his gut ended his miserable life as the stabbing pain and warm blood on his hands reminds him that he is still alive.
"Quit your crying, boy."
Great. If the shitty ghost of his father is talking to him, he must really be dying. What a great reminder of what he could have been, or possibly should have been. A brief thought crosses his mind and he wonders if this is his destiny after all, to die as a criminal. He doesn't know what hurts more, his physical or emotional pain. He will never forgive himself for shooting the man who's place he needed to take so he could move deeper into the operation. All he has ever wanted to do was help people that needed it, because no matter who you are or where you came from, you deserved a fighting chance in life. And he doesn't want to die like this, right now. There is too much left to do. Max can die. Marty can't.
"You promised me, Deeks."
No, he can't think about her right now. The blood on his hands is turning cold and tears are pouring down his face, but he manages to remain still and quiet despite the sudden commotion around him. His handler could have gotten his message, or Eric could have deciphered the email he sent him. Somebody had to know that he had been made, that he was walking into a trap. He had put up a good fight when he was outed, but lost. At least they didn't blow his brains out, if that was any consolation. If only Kensi had - NO - been there to back him up. Maybe they would have won.
"You should have told me you loved me before you left."
Deeks wishes he could hear the real Kensi say those words to him. He would tell her she's right, and that he would shout it from the rooftops if he was able to. But she's not here. His partner, his friend, his entire world is somewhere else while he is dying alone. If he opens his eyes, he can almost see her. She's strong yet terrified and her eyes are shiny but she's calling for help and saying she's not going to leave him. If he gets the chance, he'll never leave her again. He's pretty sure he's missed that chance, though.
"Kens," he thinks he says. Things aren't very clear at all. "I'm sorry I broke my promise."
She's shaking her head and muttering no over and over. The real Kensi would punch him in the arm for getting himself in this situation, he's sure of it. This Kensi keeps telling him that he's going to be okay, that help is on the way. That can't be true.
"I should have told you…" Deeks knows he's talking this time, because it hurts, it hurts so damn much but he just needs to say it even if nobody can hear him. "I love you. Before I died."
A soft pressure is applied to his lips and all of a sudden he has hope again. He realizes that he's not dead, she's really here and her hands are on his face and in his hair and he feels comfort, finally, after all of these months without her. "I think you just did," she whispers.
He closes his eyes and just concentrates on breathing to make sure he doesn't stop. With her by his side, he knows he can make it.