A/N: Thank you for your support we really appreciate it. sorry for the delay, I was on a holiday and did not have any WIFI. My apologies for the mistakes. English isn't my native language. I try my best. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

October 2013

Be'er Sheva Israel,

Ziva returned home from the airport. The house felt so empty, he wasn't there, anymore. And the strangest part was that it had never felt this empty before. She looked around the room, what to do next? She dropped her jacket, on the sideboard. Cleaning maybe? Taking a shower? But in the end she does none of these things, she just slips in bed. The bed she had shared with the men she loved the most, for the past five days. The other side of the bed felt cold, and she was pretty sure that it wasn't going to change, any time soon. She did not need a man, not anymore. She closed her eyes and drifted off in an un restful sleep.

Getting out of bed the next day was a disaster. She could still feel his arms around her and his scent was everywhere. She was incredibly tired, she had barely slept, all she could think about was him. How was he doing?

xxxxxx

Beautiful days passed. It still wasn't easy to get out of bed. She was constantly tired and sometimes even nauseas. Every morning she would run. Faster and further each day. She didn't want to think about him anymore. He was in DC and most likely he had moved on. She wanted to forget him, forget what had happened. But trying to forget someone is awful. It only made her think about him even more.

xxxxxx

It was almost six weeks ago since he left her on the tarmac. Things were just getting better. She was sitting at her dining table, with a note pate in front of her, and a pencil in her hand. She was making a list of things she needed to buy for this week. Vegetables, fruit, bread, lemonade, eggs, milk, and she could go on and on. Tampons maybe? She didn't know if she had enough, so she stood up, and walked to the bathroom. She opened the drawer underneath the sink. She looked at the tampons, in a still closed box. In that moment she realized that she was late, very late. There could be many reason why she was late. She wasn't really taking good care of herself in the first place, after tony left. She barely ate.

She couldn't be pregnant. She was on birth control. She had taken her pill every day, or so she thought. But she could of easily forgot to take it, while he was here. Her mind was pretty distracted when he was around.

Ziva walked back to the her dining table, she sat down on the chair. She will just get a test and it will be negative.

Xxxxxx

The next morning Ziva stood in her bathroom, impatiently waiting. She had bought the test the previous day, but waited. The test said it will provide the best results in the morning. She had barely slept last night. Thinking that there could possibly be a child growing inside of her. As a little girl she dreamed about having a family, being a mother. That's why she wrote it on her I will list, and buried it ,when she was younger. But after she joined Mossad she didn't think she would ever become a mother. Her job was to important to her and not to mention dangerous. And then after Somalia when the doctors told her that there was a chance she might never get pregnant.

She looked at her watch, and the minute had not passed. Did time always move this slowly. Ziva sat down next to the sink, holding the test in one hand. Had she done the test right? Of course she did. She had read the instructions a thousand times since she bought the test, the previous day. She looked at her watch again and finally the minute had passed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened her eyes again and looked at the test, that she was holding in her hand. It said positive. No it couldn't be, this doesn't happen to people like her. she closed her eyes and opened them again. Maybe this was just a bad dream. But every time she looked at the test it said positive. She is pregnant. There is a child growing inside of her. tears made their way down her cheeks, into her hairline. Was she actually going to keep the child, that was growing inside of her? Of course she was keeping her child. She and Tony created a baby together. She splashed some water on her face. And more tears were making its way down her cheeks. Her legs were weak. And she was shaking. She fell on the bathmat and couldn't stop the tears from falling down. She is going to be a mother an Ima. Something she never thought she would be.

Xxxxxx

She stood up and walked to the kitchen. Still holding the white stick in her hand. She sat down at the chair next to the dining table. She grabbed her phone and her thumb moved over the buttons. Should she call him? They haven't spoken to each other in six weeks. He hadn't called her, or texted her. But that was exactly what she wanted. Her finger's where still moving over the numbers. Number two, the shortcut for his number.

Eventually she decided not to call him. he was back in DC doing what he loved the most. She was sure, if she would call him and tell him she is pregnant, he would be on the next flight to Tel- Aviv. And she doesn't want him to give up his life, his work just for her. she doesn't deserve him. And so she puts her phone away, she can always call him later, if she wants to.