CHAPTER 39

FOUR POV

It has been five days since the attack on Tris and they have been the best days of my life. Tris has basically moved in with me. Peter hasn't been found and I am not letting her stay in the dormitory until he is. I was hoping to ask her to move in with me once initiation was over anyway so it has happened just a few days earlier than I had hoped. I still need to ask her to officially move in but I haven't found the right time or the guts to do it. What if she says no?

I had the five transfers that are left moved into the Dauntless-borns dormitory. They have enough room in there and it seemed a better idea to have them all together in case there are problems with Peter returning. I doubt there will be, Peter is a coward and he won't attack anyone on his own. But there have been enough attacks, so I am feeling better that all the initiates are together. Christina and Will are the only two transfers happy with the arrangement and that is because they had already made friends with Uriah, Marlene and Lynn.

I have been working from home and just hanging out with Tris. We have a steady stream of visitors now that Tris is staying here. I've never had this many people in my apartment and the first couple of days was uncomfortable but now I am enjoying it. Especially when I get to hear Tris laughing. It's like music to my ears.

We are sitting on the couch, I am just finishing up a report and she is reading a book. She stops reading and puts the book on the coffee table and says, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything," I say.

"How did you get the name Four? I mean I know you have four fears but you had that name before you went through your fear landscape didn't you?" she asks.

"Yeah. When I first got here I was home schooled so they could catch me up on everything I had missed while I was in the hospital. Plus they didn't want anyone to recognise me at school. So I used to explore Dauntless when I had free time. There are so many hidden places here and as a kid I loved the freedom to just go where I wanted within the compound of course."

"Anyway there was a new group of initiates going through their fear landscapes and because I was small no one took any notice that I was there. So Max saw me and I thought I was going to be in so much trouble. I mean it wasn't long after, well it wasn't long after, Marcus would beat me for breathing wrong and so I thought Max would be really upset and hit me too. But Max was never like that. All the crazy stunts Zeke and I got up to and he never once raised his hand to me."

"I was expecting him to start yelling or something but he didn't, he explained what the initiates were doing and explained the whole concept of fears to me. So I told him I was only going to have four fears. And so he decided that he was going to call me Four from then on and that is when I knew I was safe. I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about Marcus anymore even though I still have even now nightmares about Marcus, at least when I was awake I had Max to protect me. So that is when I asked him if I could call him dad. Evelyn hated it, she wouldn't call me Four but she also didn't let my secret out either thank goodness"

"I remember when initiation started and they made us go through our fear landscape as soon as we got here. I was so sick with worry that I would have more than four fears and then I would just look like a complete idiot. Even though it was only my family who knew how I got the nickname in the first place. So when I only had four fears it was a big relief. I went home to see dad as soon as I could to see him and tell him that I had been right. It was a pretty awesome moment."

"That is so sweet, I am so glad that you got a second chance with Max," she says. She comes and sits in my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Yeah he has always been great, the best dad I could have asked for really."

"I forgot to tell you," I say. "Speaking of dads', I got to see your dad the other day."

"How did that happen?" she asks.

"I went to Abnegation to confront Marcus. I am so sick of the Erudite reports and I knew I would have to confront him one day. So I did."

"So how did it go?" she asks.

"Not well Marcus wouldn't let up, kept saying I was his son. I never once admitted that I was his son but I had the photos you saw and a statement from Evelyn that it was Marcus that had beat both of us. When he kept pushing I had him arrested. He is sitting in a cell in Candor at the moment."

"What will happen to him?"

"He will be put under truth serum. Jack at Candor will have him interrogated and if he is found guilt, which he will, then he will either be factionless or I don't know. It will probably be up to Abnegation to decide what they want as punishment."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't really care that much now that it is done. I was so scared going to see him. When I first got there I felt like I still only nine years old and that he would beat me again. But then when I saw him, I was so angry with what he had done to me that it felt good to finally confront him. I was never going to outright tell him I was his son I wanted him to have to always wonder if it is me or not. He was still in my nightmares until you came to stay. I haven't had a nightmare since I have had you sleeping next to me," I say.

"Well I suppose I will just have to stay a little while longer, you know I wouldn't want you to have to have those nightmares again," she says with a playful smile on her face. I smile too and lean in and kiss her.

We have been kissing for a while now when she suddenly breaks away. I look at her puzzled, did I do something wrong? "What?" I ask.

"You were going to tell me about seeing my dad," she says.

I start to laugh. "What is so funny?" she asks.

"Your dad realised who I was and I told him it was true. He asked whether you knew and I told him that you did. We talked for awhile and he was telling me about all the mischief, his word not mine, that we used to get up to when we were little. I didn't know he knew all that stuff. I knew your mum did but I had no idea that he did."

"Neither did I," she says. "I thought if he knew than I would have never been allowed to leave the house again." We are both laughing at this.

"Anyway before I left I told him that I was going to court you once initiation was over," I say.

"You did? How did that go?" she asks.

I chuckle and say, "Well, he told me that he thinks that all Dauntless are hellions even if Natalie is from here. But he did say better the hellion he knows. So I sort of think he is okay with it." I don't tell her about the part of the conversation where I professed that I was going to marry her one day. I think I will leave that until I actually work up the courage to do that. But I think that will be a little while away, we are both still young.

"I'm glad that he sort of approves. I know that we aren't in the same faction anymore but I was really worried he would hate me for coming to Dauntless."

"He could never hate you Tris. He is really proud of you," I say.

"So you're going to court me after initiation?"

"I was going too. I was going to wait until initiation was over but, well, I, I suppose you could call this courting Dauntless style," I say. A little lost for words.

Tris giggles and says, "Courting Dauntless style, I like that."

"Well I don't really think that anyone in Dauntless actually courts. I'm not really sure because I've never done anything like this before. I've never felt like this before," I say.

"Never?" she whispers.

"Only once but it was a really, really long time ago," I say with a smile on my face.

"Oh," she says. "Who was she?"

"It was you Beatrice, it has only ever been you," I say. She looks up at me and I can see the realisation on her face and she smiles. She pulls me to her and kisses me. I kiss her back so hard it hurts. I feel her fingers twisting into my shirt. I feel like I can't breathe, I have never felt anything so intense in all my life. Slowly her fingers untwist from my shirt and her hands have moved to the hem of my shirt. I pull away and stare at her. I know where this is leading and I need to know that she is okay with it.

She looks at me and she slowly starts to move my shirt up over my body. I help her to get it off and she is just staring at me. I am feeling really self conscious right now; I have never let anyone see me, not like this. She touches the tattoo I have on my ribs of the Dauntless flames. Every touch feels like the flames are actually alight, burning my skin in a good way. She moves around to my back her fingers still touching, exploring. I feel like my whole body is about to burst into flames.

I can't take it anymore, I turn around and I kiss her, my hand is touching the bare skin between her shirt and her jeans. Her skin feels like it is on fire just as mine is with her touch. Her hands are on my chest and it feels like my insides are going to be ripped from me at any moment. I am moving my hands slowly up her back under her shirt, I can hardly breathe I want her so much. Then she moves her hands down my chest onto my stomach, I let out a moan, she is driving me crazy right now. She takes her hands from me and I shiver, I feel cold now that she isn't touching me. I look down and see that her hands have moved onto her own shirt. She slowly starts to lift her shirt. I am sure I am shaking just as I can feel her doing the same thing, I have never been so nervous or felt so euphoric as I do right now.

I pull away just a little so she can take her shirt off. Once her shirt is off I look at her and hope that she is wanting me as much as I want her. She gives me a small nod and I kiss her. I kiss her like I have never kissed her before. I grab her hand and pull her towards our bedroom.